Conference taveng::bagels

    The marriage would be valid if it were done on Passover, but if
    its being done in Israel the rabbinate won't let you have a wedding
    on Passover. Also most rabbis in the US wouldn't encourage it; actually
    I'm not sure what a reform rabbis position on the matter would be.
    
    The problem after Passover is during the 7 weeks between Passover
    and Shavuot; these 7 weeks are called the Omer. This is a time of mourning  
    for the students of Rabbi Akiba who, tradition has it, died of a plague.
    The mourning period is 33 days, but there are different points of
    view on which 33 days. Thus, the only days that weddings are generally
    performed on are Lag Baomer - the 33rd day of the Omer - and beginning
    with the first day of Sivan. The counting of the Omer begins on
    the 2nd day of Passover. Again a wedding that is done during these
    days is valid; again in Israel the rabbinate won't allow it. In
    the US most rabbis will discourage such a date in this time frame;
    once again I don't know what a reform rabbis attitude would be.
    
    yoseff                                                
    

    Most (if not all) Reform rabbis will not perform marriages on those
    days; that is why we got married, as a lot of our friends have,
    during the time between Purim and Pesach.  Such a marriage would
    be considered valid, though, if you managed to find someone to perform
    it.
    
    /Charlotte (a.k.a. Gevorah)
    
    (I get a little tired of hearing that Reform rabbis will do anything
    that you might find convenient - so many people have read in this
    notes file that I belong to a Reform schul, and send me mail asking
    for references to rabbis who perform mixed marriages (no, I don't
    know of any...), etc.  The usenet-feed stuff is a lot worse, though
    - everyone bashes everyone else in there!)

    Shalom Charlotte, Yoseff,
    
    Thanks for your help. So my knowledge concerning marriage during
    Passover is correct...of course I knew about the Omer but I thought
    maybe there's any definition or any chance to get a rabbinate
    allowance for this time frame. I've been asked this question by 
    a friend of mine who lives in Canada...he wanted to marry in April
    in remembrance to his father who was born in April(24) and who himself
    married this day and had a happy marriage for 40 years...unfortunately
    that's within the Passover week ... that's why he asked me for help...
    So I'll let him know that my first answer was correct.
    
    Thanks again...
    
    Charlotte, I don't want to express that a reform rabbi will do any-
    thing that is convenient for whoever... I simply was looking for
    a possibility, ok. One additional comment...I'm presently living
    in Germany and here they are doing a lot of things which are convenient
    for whoever. As stated above my family isn't very religious...but
    I myself try to find a way back to my people. While I was in Israel
    or even home in the States or in Japan it never meant much for me
    to Jewish but since him over here in GY things have changed totally...
    I learned a lot about my families history...emigration...visited
    their graves and birthplaces (Vienna/Austria) a.s.o. and I learned
    what Anti-semitism really means. 
    
    L'hit
    
    Dominique-Shaun

    Hi Dominique,
    
    Has your friend thought about marrying on the Jewish anniversary
    of his Fathers marriage? The date should be easy to find, as it
    would be on the ketubah (marriage certificate), and I think that
    the idea is even nicer than finding the christian anniversary. 
    
    This would also mean that your friend could be called up to read from
    the same portion of the law in the Torah on the preceding Shabbath
    as his father was! 
    
    Malcolm

    hi Dominique,
    
    Your friend might also be interested to know that a person getting
    married has first option to be called to read from the Torah
    on that preceding Shabbath by Jewish law/custom. He would even have 
    priority over a barmitzvah boy.
    
    Perhaps someone else can give a more detailed background on this?
    
    Malcolm

    Hi,
    
    I was chatting to a friend last night who told me that he knew someone
    who is getting married on the first weekend after Pesach. This
    is in an orthordox shul.  
    
    I wonder this is possible due to the custom of keeping the rules
    of the omer from Rosh Chodesh (new moon) to Rosh Chodesh.
    
    Malcolm
    
    

    Hi Malcolm,
    
    thanks for your help...what do you mean with the Jewish anniversary
    of marriage...isn't that the day of marriage??? If so it's like
    a stated above...my friend's father married on his birthday. 
    Concerning your talk to your friend...if my understanding is correct
    so it would be possible to marry 29..30th of April 89???
    
    L'hit
    Dominique-Shaun

    Shalom Dominique,

    What Malcolm means is the date from the Hebrew calendar.
    For example, Passover in 1988 was on April 2.  In 1989
    it will be on April 20.  These are both the same date 
    (Nisan 15) in the Hebrew calendar.

    Any given date in the Hebrew calendar will have the same status
    about whether weddings are performed every year (unless it
    falls on Shabbat).

    L'hit,
    Gavriel

    Hi Dominique,
    
    Gavriel is correct. I was refering to the Hebrew calendar.
    I have anothe thought /challenge to all the people who wrote
    Hebrew calendar programs. If you can give us the the day and Year
    that your friends father was born, then our friendly programmers
    should be able to work out what the Hebrew date was, and then 
    when that will fall this year. 
    
    Lets see if your programs can handle this!!!  And all find the same
    result ;-)
    
    Malcolm

    Hi Malcolm,
    
    you've asked for the exact dates, so here goes:
    
    My friend's father was born April 24, 1910
    and marriage took place     April 24, 1936
    
    So if you could find out Hebrew date it would be fantastic. Meanwhile
    I had a talk to my friend and informed him about status of my research.
    Due to the fact that his parents had to flee the country (they were
    from Germany) via UK to Canada and due to the chaos of presecution
    they only took their passports etc. with them.
    
    But maybe if you can find out Hebrew date that's a possible date
    for marriage.  
    Thanks 
    
    Dominique-Shaun
    

>    My friend's father was born April 24, 1910			15 Nisan 5670
>    and marriage took place     April 24, 1936			 2 Iyar  5696

    Excuse me, but getting married during this time may NOT be a problem.
    The restriction having to do with marriage is not that you cannot get
    married during the Omer, but that you can not have a PARTY during this
    time (except as noted earlier). You can get married and have a festive
    meal, but the practice is not to have a band or dancing of any type. We
    had the same problems when we got married (April) and had to either get
    married before Pesach (which we did), or wait until after Shavuot. (We
    also just had the same problem with my son's Bar Mitzvah; having to
    delay it until after Shavuot). This practice, by the way is generally
    accepted by the Orthodox, but varies with Conservative and Reform (in
    fact our Conservative Rabbi informed us he did not follow this custom). 
    
    I hope this helps a bit.
    
    Jack

    There is no necessity to postpone a Bar Mitzva that ocurrs during
    the period of the "Omer", in fact it is best held on the exact day
    of the Bar Mitzva. This of course precludes having a band at the
    Bar Mitzva, but there is no actual need to have a band at a Bar
    Mitzva.
    
    Cb.

    I think it follows into Reform and Conservative...
    
    I attended a Reform wedding on Lag B'Omer 5747, where the rabbi
    noted that weddings cannot occur during the Omer except on that
    day, which in turn is a very favored day for weddings.
    
    Of course, your mileage may vary.
           fred