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Conference tallis::celt

Title:Celt Notefile
Moderator:TALLIS::DARCY
Created:Wed Feb 19 1986
Last Modified:Tue Jun 03 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1632
Total number of notes:20523

1063.0. "YTD status for the DUBS" by SIOG::FARRELL () Mon May 25 1992 15:55

    Looks like a good year for us Dubs so far. 
    
    Shels won the League of Ireland Championship and Bohs won the FAI Cup.
    
    Cork were bet by Kerry in the Gaa and them real bad pills, Meath, were
    bet as well. A good days work was done yesterday.
    
    Corkmen may rejoice. They managed to beat Kerry in de hurling but I hear 
    it was close :-)
    
    The jacks are back,
    
    DUB01::Farrell (Joe)
    
    P.S. Now, wheres that bleedin redneck Donie hiding. He'll be avoiding 
    Han Loons (hong kong style pub near the office) until Cork manage to win
    something. Still, the peace we'll have waiting until that happens.
    
T.RTitleUserPersonal
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1063.1Its Early Days YetDBOSW2::BRENNAN_MI drink - To make other people interestingTue May 26 1992 11:5827
>>>    Looks like a good year for us Dubs so far. 
    
	WHY?? Did the sun shine and the gurriers retire back to Clondalkin?	

>    Shels won the League of Ireland Championship and Bohs won the FAI Cup.

	That doesnt count. Its only an occupation that allows  brain dead 
	Dubs (and Corkmen) to think that they can play sport. Nobody with
	even half a brain would be bored out of their tree to watch that

    
>    Cork were bet by Kerry in the Gaa and them real bad pills, Meath, were
>    bet as well. A good days work was done yesterday.
    

	I notice Meath who have been dishing out the losingers for years 
	have started to complain when given a dose of the same medicine by a 
	crowd of mountany men from the Sliabh Bloom's. Cant take it

    
>    The jacks are back,

	Ahh but wait till Wicklow get you in Aughrim!! 
    
		MBr

    
1063.2Aughrim, no .......... waySIOG::FARRELLTue May 26 1992 13:5115
    Good God, MBr woke up for a while today. Wonders never cease :-)
                                                                  
    and I quote from MBr's reply
    
    "Nobody with even half a brain would be bored out of their tree 
     to watch that". Absolutely, 100% correct.
    
    I fear the Kilkenny Kat has been at illegal substances yet again.
    
    Aughrim, thats where men are men and sheep are nervous, isnt it ???
    
    - Joe
                                                              
    P.S, MBr, seen Donie around yet. For you good folk across the water,
    Donie is our token Corkman in the office here.
1063.3Sorry - too late. Note is write locked :-)SIOG::FARRELLMon Jun 08 1992 09:128
    Oh dear, I feel that some Corkmen may be heading my way today.
    
    Why we have to let boys from Tipp out to do a man's job, I dont know.
    
    - Joe (ducking for cover from that redneck b* Donie and Pat H.)
    
    P.S. This note will be write locked until the Dubs win their next match
    :-)
1063.4Wicklow??? Leave it out!!SIOG::HANLONWed Jun 17 1992 14:435
    Well, you won't have to worry about Aughrim or the sheep-$#@gg&r$,
    Kildare set them packing for the hills. But that result presents the 
    Dubs with an even bigger problem, presuming Wexford and Pat's wee
    men can be disposed of. Beware Micko's Army ... he's back to haunt the
    Dubs again. 
1063.5Good Bye DubsDBOSW2::BRENNAN_MFestina LenteMon Jun 22 1992 12:0126
1063.6A once in a lifetime experience.... :-)HILL16::BURNSMon Jun 22 1992 18:205
    
    Mbr: When is the Munster Football final ??
    
    keVin
    
1063.7SoonDBOSW2::BRENNAN_MFestina LenteTue Jun 23 1992 09:2310
KeVin,

I agree its a one in a lifetime experience. Its not every day that a set of
sacrificial lambs are sent to the slaughter. 

Seriously though I think its July 12th. I may be wrong though as I dont really
follow football. Now the Hurling is on July 5th.

Mbr
1063.8Moderator, sort out this Burns BoySIOG::FARRELLFri Jul 03 1992 10:2210
    keVin,
    
    You should know better than to be posting irrelevant replies to such an
    important topic. Reply .6 is way out of order.
    
    Use VAX Mail for minor one to one issues :-). Anyway, it only
    encourages MBr.
    
    - Joe
    
1063.9You are correct of courseDBOSW2::BRENNAN_MI drink - To make other people interestingMon Jul 06 1992 13:0511
Joe,

I agree - Football is irrelevant. This of cours makes the YTD status of the
dubs irrelevant.


Cork Beat Limerick in the Munster Hurling final yesterday. It was a pretty
one-sided match with cork well in command.

Mbr
1063.10HILL16::BURNSMon Jul 06 1992 13:568
    re: .08
    
    Joe: I think you'll find that the moderator favors Munster on occasion.  :-)
    
    
    	
    
    keVin
1063.11Things are getting BADSIOG::FARRELLWed Jul 08 1992 16:5611
    OK, OK, it looks like you mere redneck hurling folk can clutter up my
    note with irrelevant crap but remember, I'll be watching out and also,
    MISTER BURNS, you have to come to Dublin for the porter in a few weaks
    time.
    
    With all this hurling talk, I am beginning to think that Kerrymen may
    not be too bad after all :-). This is tooooooo much. 
    
    I'm going straight to the pub.
    
    The Jacks are back.
1063.12Dubs in Leinster FinalSIOG::FARRELLTue Jul 14 1992 16:4316
    Back to important matters. Yesterday, the Dubs marched (well, they
    limped very badly, to be honest) on beating Louth in the semi-final in
    the Leinster football championship.
    
    They had about 17 wides but won by 3 points in the end. They had by far
    the greater possession but werent picking off scores.
    
    In an interview with this reporter, ex-Dublin star (with medal for
    sale), Brian Jordan said that if Dublin move up a gear, no one will
    beat them in this years All-Ireland.
    
    There it is, folks, an important part of the anatomy on the line for the
    Dubs.
    
    - Joe
    
1063.13What a great way to start the Holidays ... :-)ACTGSF::BURNSMon Jul 20 1992 01:008
    
    
    Joe: Was there EVER any doubt ???			:-)
    
    
    
    	keVin
    
1063.14where's keVinSIOG::FARRELLMon Jul 20 1992 08:5919
    OK, OK, I'll let a little bit of Munster history into this note just to
    show us Dubs can be generous to a fault.
    
    Yesterday, Clare (yes, Clare) beat Kerry in the Munster Football Final
    by 2-10 to 0-12. A great win for the lads from Clare. Not many of the
    Kerry species around today. Sean Griffin, with no medal for sale, hasnt
    appeared yet. It was Clare's first Munster Final win since 1917 which
    coincidentally was the year keVin was born.
    
    Now we await the arrival of one keVin who was decanted into an plane in
    the last day or so.
    
    - Joe
    
    P.S. Anyone know where Clare is ? Answers, addressed to keVin Burns,
    Ireland, on written postcards only as I'm sure keVin will want to see
    the place now that they have won something.
    
    
1063.15The Kingdom Killers.CLADA::JDOOLEYDo not take anything for grantedMon Jul 20 1992 10:1512
    Further to the great victory by the Bannermen in Limerick, I had the
    great privilege of doing a gig down in Inagh, near Ennis, last night.
    The atmosphere was only mighty!!!
    
    We didn't start until 10 because the match was highlighted on the TV
    sports special "The Sunday Game".
    
    "Spancill Hill","Lovely Rose of Clare" and "Long, Long way from Clare
    to Here" went down well.
    
    75 years is a long time to wait.
    
1063.16Open to suggestions of debauchery.CSLALL::KSULLIVANTue Jul 21 1992 16:008
    Dear Angela,
                keVin left last night on the same flight as my wife, should
    I be concerned???
    
                         Yours in freedom,
    
                                 M. 
    
1063.17At least his son's with them...POLAR::RUSHTONTue Jul 21 1992 16:106
    
    
    		JAYSUS!!!
    
    
    		Korff O'Barbunk
1063.18?EGAV01::MKEYESEmfg Technology Group DTN 822-4304Tue Jul 21 1992 16:1814
    
    
    Question to settle a bet....
    
    ..Who were (and when) the last MUNSTER team (KERRY and CORK excepted) to play in
    a Munster Football final (besides this year of course)..
    
    ...Excellent to see Clare win...Now for carlow to beat Galway -) -)
    
    Mr Burns sighted..or heard.(in ballyvaughan)....session in Galway 
    tomorrow night...lord have mercy.........
    
    Mick
    
1063.19Buy the poor lad a pint will ya?TALLIS::DARCYTue Jul 21 1992 16:414
    Rumour has it that Mr. Burns is going to Europe to replace
    Pierre Carlo Falotti's position in Geneva.  Before he left
    he mentioned something about moving European headquarters
    to Ballyvaughan or Doolin.
1063.20CLADA::DODONNELLDenisWed Jul 22 1992 07:439
    
    Re .18
    
    >    ..Who were (and when) the last MUNSTER team (KERRY and CORK excepted) to play in
    >a Munster Football final (besides this year of course)..
    
     Well Mick, if memory serves me correct, Limerick contested last years
     final, losing to Kerry.
     
1063.21R.I.P. Dub"s year.SIOG::HANLONWed Jul 22 1992 10:2812
    He probably meant the last to win excepy the big two. Anyone know??
    Now to more important matters ... next Sunday when this topic, i.e 
    YTD for the Dubs, reaches a natural conclusion. Well, I suppose we 
    could discuss matters other than football. My only regret is that I 
    won"t be around to enjoy the funeral. I"m deadly serious, folks,
    Kildare WILL WIN on Sunday, easily.
    
    Tony.
    p.s. only someone going on two weeks holidays (Galway, get ready)
    could afford to be this bullish!
    ... that"s bullish, not bullsh!t ... thought I"d get that in first.
     
1063.22Your roving reporter in Galway ...ACTGSF::BURNSWed Jul 22 1992 11:0213
    
    
    	Seen in the Clare Champion ....
    
    
    
    	WANTED ...... Directions to Dublin 			:-)
    
    
    
    
    keVin
    
1063.23WMOIS::CHAPLAIN_FTempus Omnia VincitWed Jul 22 1992 11:468
    
    Oh jeez, it's that Burns feller again.
    
    Just hand him a bottle off the bottom shelf and point his nose due
    west of Galway.  He won't notice he's left Ireland until he reaches
    Reykjavik.  
    
    
1063.24Whose funeral is it anyway?SIOG::BRADLEYMon Jul 27 1992 07:388
      Tony,
    
      By the sounds of your note last week today was suppose to be
      the end of the world for the DUBS but as always the band of
      Jacks kicked the Lillies out of Croker and back to Kildare
      where they belong. Just as well the journey home is short.
      
      Gary  
1063.25Things are right on targetSIOG::FARRELLMon Jul 27 1992 18:5321
    Ok folks,
    
    No problem. The Dubs won handy yesterday. The score was Dublin 1-13,
    Kildare 0-10. For a little while in the second half, Kildare rallied
    but Dublin picked off a couple of points and that was that.
    
    The first half performance by Dublin was one of the best displays by
    Dublin for a long time. Brian Jordan (still with medal for sale), in an
    interview with this reporter, said
    
    "This side is showing good potential and should go on to win the All
    Ireland".
    
    Well said, Brian. Watch out Clare, you are in big trouble.
    
    keVin, those Clare boys have no need to write down the directions back
    to Clare. They wont be up here long enough to forget them.
    
    - Joe
    
    P.S. No sign of MBr today, I notice :-)
1063.26Can we talk about "Coursing" instead of Football ?ACTGSF::BURNSMon Aug 24 1992 11:3520
    
    
    What do Neil Diamond and the Clare Football team have in common ??
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    They've both been in Croke Park twice !!!		:-)
1063.27The Dubs march onSIOG::FARRELLThu Aug 27 1992 14:0426
    Hello to one and all dear little rednecks,
    
    Well, I bet keVin thought he had escaped but I'm back from the hols now
    (2 weeks in Clare was great).
                          
    As most of you know by now, the Dubs have marched on to the All Ireland
    Football Final to meet Donegal. Clare tried hard but the Dubs were
    always that bit better. Mind you, the defense still has a little snooze
    half way through the second half. This will cost them dearly against
    good forwards.
    
    Brian Jordan, still with medal for sale, not in an interview with this
    reporter, said nothing. He's on holidays.
    
    
    No, keVin, you are not getting away with it.
    
    I received some information from keVin in the internal mail and the
    P.S. to his memo says and I quote
    
    "By the time you read this, Clare may have already beaten Dublin !!".
    
    Poor keVin. Mind you, he was able for most of his drink when I met him
    in Ballyvaughan and Dublin. That Achill is a killer. I must start going
    there again next year.
                                             
1063.28Bad news ... Culbert is still with us !!! :-)ACTGSF::BURNSThu Aug 27 1992 15:2115
    
    
    I knew it was too good to be true ... Himself has returned !!!   :-)
    
    Fair play to you Joe, glad to hear you enjoyed Clare, when will you
    going back to collect all your winnings ??
    
    
    I recon the hangover from Achill must have had something to do with the
    company I was keeping ..   :-)
    
    
    keVin
    
    
1063.29a little humorSIOG::BRADLEYFri Aug 28 1992 09:5517


         Paddy Englishman, Paddy Irishman, Paddy Scotsman were in 
         court one day accused of theft. When the judge was handing 
         down the sentences he gave them two options, amputation of 
         the arm or stick your arm into a tank full of pirnahas.
         So Paddy Englishman decides to puts his arm in. The pirnahas
         go into action and chew off half of it. Paddy Scotsman said
         he'll go ahead with the first option and gets his arm chopped 
         off. Paddy Irishman stands up walks forward and puts his arm
         into the tank and removes it still intact. The judge shouts 
         "Put it back in" and again he takes it out intact. So on
         question of this mircale Paddy Irishman rolls up his sleve and
         shows the inscription on his arm and says ;
    
         "Donegal to beat Dublin, no one is going to swallow that".   
1063.30Dublin loves Sam !!! :-)GSFNET::BURNSFri Sep 18 1992 15:2314
    
    Congratulations Joe !!!
    
    What a great match, I enjoyed watching every minute of it !!!
    
    I wish I could have been with you the entire day to celebrate the
    victory.
    
    Up the Dubs !!!!!
    
    
    
    keVin
    
1063.31Dubs year endsSIOG::SPENCERPeter Spencer @DBO 827-2286Mon Sep 21 1992 10:145
    Joey-de-lunch looks the same colour as the Donegal jerseys this morning
    - green and yellow. The Dubs led early on by a couple of points but
    once Donegal caught and passed them they never looked in danger and ran
    out comfortable winners 0-18 to 0-14. Armagh were unlucky to lose the
    minor by a point to Meath.
1063.32I'm in a state of shock, more laterSIOG::FARRELLMon Sep 21 1992 10:1712
    
    I'm here. No hiding like some rednecks from Cork that I know. I'll be
    back later with an interview from Brain Jordan (definitely with medal
    for sale at a very low cost).
    
    That Dublin defense was a worry to me all year.
    
    buy four now,
    
    - Joe
    
    
1063.33Peter, don't let Joe near any sharp objects today ....ACTGSF::BURNSMon Sep 21 1992 11:2312
    
    Once I chose Dublin , the outcome was obvious ....  :-)
    
    
    Most people should know by now, see which team Burnsie chooses,
    then bet lots of money that the other team will win !!!
    
    
    keVin
    
    
    
1063.34Dubs dubbed the "Dubbers" ;^>WREATH::DROTTERMon Sep 21 1992 14:1615
    
    
    According to Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary,
    
     1 dub (vb) ... 3: to hit (a golf ball) poorly b: to execute poorly.
    
     2 dub (n): One who is unskillful (as at a game, a trade, politics)
                because of inexperience or lack of talent: a clumsy person.
                - Dubber (n).
    
     Dub (abbr) Dublin
    
    
    
    A hearty Congratulations to Donegal for stomping the Dubbers. ;^> ;^> ;^>
1063.35Joe's match report to follow ....SIOG::SPENCERPeter Spencer @DBO 827-2286Mon Sep 21 1992 17:118
1063.36The sly divelHILL16::BURNSMon Sep 21 1992 17:289
    
    Are they still "Business" Partners ???		:-)
    
    
    MBr will be celebrating for months !!!
    
    
    keVin
    
1063.37A reminder to Joe DrotterSIOG::FARRELLTue Sep 22 1992 13:1316
    Re .34,
    
    MISTER JOE DROTTER, just remember the following
    
    I am a Dub,
    
    I know you live somewhere near Manchester Airport :-)
    
    and take a good look at your node name. 
    
    Us Dubs dont like being beaten.
    
    Regards,
    
    - Joe
    
1063.38SIOG::SPENCERPeter Spencer @DBO 827-2286Tue Sep 22 1992 13:144
    .36 >     Are they still "Business" Partners ???		:-)
    
    Nah, the way he's feeling, Joe wants MBr to be the first customer of
    our little enterprise. Does Smithwicks burn well? ;-)
1063.39Bord na Mona would be proud !!!HILL16::BURNSTue Sep 22 1992 13:228
    
    
    Jaysus ... It would take weeks for the fire to burns out !!!!   :-)
    
    
    
    keVin
    
1063.40Cork Rules, OK?!WREATH::DROTTERTue Sep 22 1992 14:3527
    re: .37
    
        <MISTER JOE DROTTER, just remember the following
    
        <I am a Dub,
    
    And why would you willing want to admit that in public?! ;^>
    
        <I know you live somewhere near Manchester Airport :-)
    
    Closer to Cork Airport actually. The *real* center of the universe. ;^>
    
        <and take a good look at your node name.
    
    If the truth be known, Mr. Farrell, my real node name is UPCORK:: 
    And I just *LOVE* my node name!!!!! It's, it's  so Great! ;^>
    
        <Us Dubs don't like being beaten.
    
    Who does?! I have it on reliable sources that CORK was so sick of
    winning that it was a team decision this year to not play as hard, thus in
    essence letting the Kilkenny Kittens taste the odd rare victory for
    them.  ;^>>
    
    As for the difference between the Dubs (what a name!) and Cork,
    well, we'll be back next year, you guys won't be heard from again
    for quite awhile. ;^>
1063.41Congrats to WaterfordDBOSW2::BRENNAN_Mfestina lenteTue Sep 29 1992 16:3612
Cork Are really Sick of getting beaten.

Last year by Tipp.

This year Kilkenny.

Next year Waterford!!!

What they really need is someone to teach them. Oh I forgot. The only way to
get an idea onto a Cork pershon's head is with a hammer and chisel.

MBr
1063.42DELNI::CULBERTFree Michael CulbertWed Sep 30 1992 12:536
    
    
    You are so right!!!!!!!!!!!  Esp. if the rumor is true and DROTTER is
    from there.....
    
    paddy
1063.43What do you think the term, "Rub a Dub Dub...;^>WREATH::DROTTERWed Sep 30 1992 14:2120
    re: .41
    
    What a jackeen! it took you a whole week to come up with that for
    a response?!! 
    
    Ah well, You can always tell a DUB:
    
    but ye can't tell him much! 
    
    Tipp's victory was just was just a fluke, and I already explained about
    about the Kilkenny Kittens. 
    
    As for Waterford, they'll *break* quicker than their cyrstal does! ;^>
    
    re: .42 
    
    Hmmm, another country heard from! 
    
    Your note just proves what I said: only two kinds of Irishmen - those that 
    hail from CORK, and those that wish they did! 
1063.44Irish ancestry pleaseCHEFS::HOUSEBWed Sep 30 1992 14:323
    I guess you fall into the category of "those that wish you did"
    
    		Brian.
1063.45SIOG::OSULLIVAN_DMon Oct 19 1992 14:163
    Dublin have today appointed a new football team coach, the aptly named
    Chinaman, Win Sam Soon.
    
1063.46Three typesBERN02::BYRNEMon Oct 26 1992 04:447
    There are 3 kinds of Irishman,
    
    Those who come from Cork
    
    Those who wished they'd come from Cork
    
    And those who wish that DROTTER didn't!!
1063.47Oh boy...TALLIS::DARCYMon Oct 26 1992 12:592
    OK lads and lassies, if we don't have something nice
    to say, then save it.
1063.48And if she had stayed longer, she'd be even WORSE! ;^>WREATH::DROTTERTue Oct 27 1992 12:189
    re: .47
    
    It's OK, George.
    
    I understand that the "Queen of Crubeen" had a *Bad weekend in Bern*, 
    and woke up this morning with her knickers in a twist.
    
    See what happens to people (even Cork People!) who spend 4 years in 
    DUBlin. ;^Q 
1063.49BONKIN::BOYLETue Oct 27 1992 21:2917
    re. -1
    >See what happens to people (even Cork People!) who spend 4 years in 
    >DUBlin. ;^Q 
    
    Why do so many Cork people (corkies??) live in Dublin ?
    
    Is Cork really *that* bad ?
    
    
    
    
    Also,
    
    why have they got such strange accents ?
    
    
    Tony :-))))))
1063.50BERN02::BYRNEWed Oct 28 1992 04:437
    'cos they don't want you guys to understand what they say.
    
    re -2
    
    I don't wear any
    
    And I don't eat Crubeens!
1063.51WREATH::DROTTERWed Oct 28 1992 12:4215
    re: .50
    
      <I don't wear any
    
         How droll! Yet *another* bad habit you picked up while working 
       in DUBlin?!
    
      <And I don't eat Crubeens!
    
       So does this mean then, that you are 'Queen of Drisheen', instead?! ;^>
    
    re: .49
    
       Hold yer gob! ;^>
      
1063.52Why do So many Cork People Live in Dublin DBOSW2::BRENNAN_Mfestina lenteTue Nov 03 1992 11:2312
It is because 

When They come to Dublin They

	Throw a stone in the Liffey

If It Floats

	They go back to Cork


Mbr