Conference rocks::weight_control

Ann, I know what you mean.  The old "With friends like this, who *needs*
enemies."

Some people I think deliberately sabotage you. Most people, though, do
it unconciously. I think a lot of people feel threatened when you succeed
in eating sensibly, because they feel judged. They want to make you eat
like they do to validate their eating habits (even if they aren't 
overweight.)  If you are eating healthily, then it says to them that
it *can* be done, and therefore it is their choice that they don't.

Another reason I've encountered is that some people like to have heavy
people around them because it makes them feel better by comparison, whether
they themselves are heavy or thin.

I don't think these people are mean, I just think they have subconcious
motives they won't admit to.

I've found that most friends will at least be willing to *act* supportive
if you sit them down and say, very seriously, that when they encourage
you to eat in an unhealthy manner they are undermining a change to yourself
that is very important to you.  I would tell your friend with the puddings
that you were angry and hurt by her pushing you to do something like that
after you already said no.

Anyway, just remember, it is *her* issue, she obviously has some problems
going on of her own, not your issue.

D!

    I totally agree with the previous reply.  Whether people mean to or
    not, they do things that really make you wonder if they are truly
    friends or not.  I would express to your feelings to your friend.  Make
    it known that you don't appreciate her behavior because you are trying
    to improve yourself.
    
    
    dh

    I agree 100% with D said!
    
    It's usually your friends (or even spouse) who also need to lose
    weight that push the food on you (because that makes it "ok" for
    THEM to eat too).
    
    Congrats Ann for sticking to your guns, no matter how tempting it
    is.  When I get in a situation like that I just keep thinking to
    myself "it's not worth it.  Losing weight and buying smaller clothes
    is much more fun than the 2 minutes of enjoyment you get from food".
    (this vision keeps me honest 99% of the time!).
    
    Go Ann!
    
    Linda 

    Ann, the next time your "friends" (I use the term loosely!) try to
    convince you to eat something you shouldn't, try the "Medical Reason"
    response.  It works for me every time.  I have used variations of this
    response.  There can be a vast number of valid medical reasons why you
    shouldn't eat that ___________.  (Insert name).  For reasons unknown to
    me, people back off when you tell them you can't eat this because of
    medical reasons.  If you tell them you are watching what you eat to be
    healthy or to lose weight, they will pressure you and pressure you to
    cave in.
    
    So I have said that I have low blood sugar, that I have allergies, that
    I have a sensitive stomach .... anything to get them to stop.  Of
    course, this probably won't work if it's your spouse, but....a simple,
    but FIRM "No, thank you" should do the trick.
    
    Good luck!
    Linda

    
      It's odd but I am Border line in a few areas and I have told
      my friend that I can't eat certain foods, but it doesn't seem
      to help when I tell her. I guess I need to learn to show her
      I mean business.
    
      She may not want me to get ahead of her.
    
      I have to be strong and stick to my guns.
    
    
      Ann
    
    

    re .5
    
    Absolutely!  Get serious and stay serious.  Don't cave in.  Some people
    get perverse pleasure from seeing overweight people fail.
    
    
    Keep up the good work!
    
    
    
    dh

    I agree with what everyone has said so far, but hang in there because
    it does get easier.
    
    I am in the unenviable position of having very (to the ignorant) weird
    eating habits.  Not only am I concerned with eating healthy, but I also
    keep kosher, so meat and shell-fish is out.  People ask questions, try
    to convince me that my beliefs are stupid or hypocritical or
    outdated...and as for the healthy eating, it is NOT dieting at this
    point but people say that now that I am "thin" I don't have to watch so
    closely (yeah, right, I feel like doing this again) and then
    eventually, give up.
    
    So, hang in there, it gets easier over time.  But be strong with
    friends and family because they will keep at it if you let them.  The
    medical excuse usually works, religious beliefs might or might not, a
    firm "you know I don't eat cake" usually surprises everyone and after a
    while they will stop asking you to compromise.
    
    Good luck!
    
    Sylvia