Conference rocks::weight_control

    I can relate to your problems of stress related weight gain, and
    the added stress of feeling totally helpless in your endevor to
    do anything about it. What's great about this conference, is that
    you can rely on a good support group to help you. The replies that
    I've gotten have all been supportive and compassionate. Let some
    of the "veterans" give you some of their pointers. I know it helped
    me.
    
    Good Luck!
          
                     Barb

	I've been there.  I've had the sugar and fat cravings come
    screaming out my name in the middle of the day and night.  I've
    eaten cookies and junk food until I was either out of time, or
    out of change.
    
    	The first 2 weeks of a new diet require dedication.  Occupy
    your spare time with hobbies : reading, walking, anything that gets
    your mind off food.
    
    	Once the diet has started and you have adjusted to it, it WILL
    GET EASIER.  It becomes second nature to grab a carrot or apple
    rather than a ring-ding or twinkie.  And when you wake up the next
    day, knowing you did well, it helps carry you through that day.
    And the cravings are not nearly as bad or as frequent.
    
    	Some 'tricks' that help include imagining yourself as thin,
    writing down reasons why you overeat, and even promising your-
    self, when you wake up, that you will not cheat.  This last
    technique helped me a lot.  If I promised myself, out loud, it
    was nearly impossible to break my word.
    
    -mike z

    Well, i think you've already made the right start - by entering
    a note here.
    
    True motivation - the feeling of real determination - can come quite
    suddenly: a chance remark someone makes, a change in personal
    circumstances, an anniversary, whatever. What happens then depends
    rather on you. For me, the change in mental attitude was a sort
    of internal calming down, followed by a feeling that i could like
    myself rather more if i were a somewhat different shape. Then the
    actual process of dieting, and exercise, started, and i actually
    managed to shed a few pounds. All the while there's WEIGHTLOSS and
    PROGRESS to read - and write to - and a little bit of success combined
    with a _lot_ of encouragement from all these good people has helped
    enormously.

    I agree 100% with Mike - the first two weeks are hard (and i'm only
    on week 5!). But get past that hurdle, and you _will_ start to like
    yourself more - and that'll help motivate you to continue, so you
    _will_ succeed, and ... voila! recursion!
    
    Keep in touch. Be happy.
    
    - brian

    I think (no I BELIEVE) that you can only diet sucessfully if you
    like yourself as you are.  When I had a bad self image I couldn't
    stick to diets, because I didn't believe in myself.
    
    I had a few year of lots of things going wrong in my life, and steadily
    the weight crept up.   About 7 years ago I got down to my "right"
    weight, and kept it off for 2 years.   I lost it during a period
    when I was preparing to moving back to England from Germany after
    10 years.  I was really keyed up about the move, (no job or home
    in the UK), and I stayed keyed up, new job, new home, new friends.
    
    After about 2 years my mother who was 75 began to suffer from health
    problems, and I started to worry about her, then to eat.... same
    old story.
    
    My Mum died last July, and as I got back to "normal" I began to
    like myself again, and to get more confident.   I started dieting
    again last year, but was very up and down.   I went to a hypnotist
    for a while before my Mum died, and it didn't seem to help, so I
    gave up.   But I suddenly realised early this year, that my self
    image was ok, and I felt good even though I was about 90 pounds
    overweight.  
    
    I have managed to lose 35 of those excess pounds since February.
    
    I am calorie counting, and ok, I have "off days", but I can usually
    make up for them, by eating less calories next day.  If I have a
    real craving for chocolate I can have 1 bar I know how many calories
    it has, and I can have a low cal evening meal.   A lot of my social
    life is around eating out, or at friends homes, so I try to eat
    only 500/600 cals on Thursday and Friday, so that I can eat a little
    extra on Saturday.
    
    These 2 notes files have really helped me,  when I was really low
    last July, I had mails from other noters, which were great.
    
    I try to be really honest here, and if I have a problem I'll write
    about it.
    
    Stick with it you can do it.  We all can.
        
    
    Jenni

    
    Hi,
    
    >			... How do you get the self discipline? The 
    >strength, the will power?                                      
     
    Good question.  I think you have to want to take the weight
    off more than you want anything else. Gee, that sounds awfully
    simplistic, doesn't it? But it makes sense. you have to want to
    lose more than you want those Snowballs from the vending machine.
    You have to want to lose more than you want anything in your fridge.
    
    There are, of course, other little things you can do to help yourself
    along the way. Keep a diary. Of what you eat, yes, but also of how
    you feel. Try to find other ways of dealing with whatever emotions
    roll along rather than eating. (Believe me, I am personally aware
    of exactly how hard this can be!) 
    
    Empty your house of all tempting-but-bad-for-the-healthy-new-you
    foods. If you have a husband or kids around who don't want or need
    to be "deprived" of this stuff, then maybe you can designate one
    cupboard WHERE YOU WILL NEVER GO where you can keep this stuff.
    Then you just have to make yourself forget that it is there.
    
    Try to think of what you are doing ("dieting") not as depriving
    yourself of all that yummy stuff you love, but rather as BEING GOOD
    TO YOURSELF. Each time you have a salad instead of fried clams and
    french fries for lunch (or whatever, you get the idea), mentally
    AND CONSCIOUSLY pat yourself on the back for doing such a great
    thing for you.
    
    Try to walk every day, or at least as many as you can. Walk at
    lunchtime. Walk after dinner. Whenever it best fits into your schedule.
    Even with a small change in eating habits and adding walking to
    your routine, you will notice a difference. Maybe you can find someone
    to walk with. This makes it more fun. or do what one lady in my
    WW class does. She gets audio tapes of books she's wanted to read
    and she walks with her walkman and her books. She only allows herself
    to listen to the books when she's out walking. (It's a great incentive
    when the story gets good!)
    
    Maybe you are overwhelmed with the idea of a "permanent change in
    eating habits" and all you "have" to do to lose the weight. Perhaps,
    then, it might help to change just a couple of things each week.
    Say, start out by making a committment to walk 3 times a week and
    cut out fried foods. Then the next week, also cut out everything
    from the vending machines and walk 4 times. After a while, you will
    realize, I think, that you have made some MAJOR changes, relatively
    painlessly. I think keeping that diary I mentioned earlier would
    come in handy here, too.
    
    Well, this is getting awfully long. I guess what it comes down to
    is just making a committment to yourself. Then stick to it. I know
    this is not easy, but it IS possible. Good luck. 
    
    -Amy.

    You may also want to read the replies to note 250 entitled, "The
    Secret to my Success".  There are a lot of helpful suggestions from
    people who have made it.  Personally, I did well for a while, but
    got distracted around July and went totally off program in August
    due to moving.  We had to eat out a lot and things are just starting
    to settle down.  I weighed myself this morning and was shocked,
    so, no more vending machines or eating greasy food when out.  I
    have my rice cakes and am ready for success.  I really have to change
    my eating habits to provide more nutrition because I will be entering
    into a potentially stressful situation soon.  I also know that exercise
    will help me be more healthy.  This is a real motivator because
    I really don't want to get sick and I want to be the best at what
    I'm about to do.  Dropping the extra weight (10 lbs) will also 
    improve my mental health.   Just don't give up.  You can win.  I
    really understand what you're going through.
    
    Darlene.
    author_of_note_250

You've taken the GIANT STEP already by being here!

I'm a firm believer in WW FOR ME, not for everyone.  The group I attend
in Colorado Springs is very supportive and WE DO NOT DIET.  Our group
is firm in its thinking that this is a food program, not diet.  In fact,
we many times gently tell the first timers that diet is a word they need
to delete from their vocabulary.  Diet has very negative connotations.
It conjurs up visions of depravation, of something to go OFF (afterall,
you went ON it), and a lot of "dont's".  Be honest, if someone told you
you COULDN'T HAVE BRUSSEL SPROUTS wouldn't you crave them?!  (no intention
to offend those who love 'em)

I've been involved in a weight challange since the day I stepped out of
high school.  I gained 50 pounds with my pregnancy and am now down to
a little below pre-preg weight.

One trick I do with myself is put my daughter in her backpack and walk
to the store almost everyday.  I say "trick" because when I put her on
I have just put back the amount of weight I have lost.  I don't want to
do that to myself again.  Side benefits are this is exercise, we get
time together, I can tell her about the sites, and we get fresh air.
(haven't decided about what to do in winter yet).

I struggle with going up and down a pound or two because I don't follow
WW to the letter, but I KEEP GOING TO THE MEETINGS!  I personally need
the group support.  I've joined 2 other times, and realize that's the
biggest piece for me.  Whatever program you become involved in if you
aren't getting the good feelings that **you deserve** find another group.

Enjoy the small successes.  Treat yourself well.  Go to the nearest make-up
counter and get your face done, get a new hair style, get a manicure, any
little thing to make you feel good.  Don't fall into the trap of "I'm 
not much so I'll shop at <you most hated discount store>."  This is a catch-22
because when you put those clothes you have just confirmed that you're not
much, so you buy there more, etc.  Vicious cycle.

REMEMBER YOU ARE A WONDERFUL PERSON DESERVING OF THE **BEST**.

Let us know how it goes!

    I think there are a lot of good thoughts in the previous replies; it's
    very important to figure out *why* you eat the wrong things, and/or too
    much even of the right things.  There's more to it than habit, or the
    conscious decision to change would carry much more conviction than it
    apparently does.  I'd suggest that you spend some time doing some serious
    introspection, using whatever tools you need: counseling (does your site
    have an EAP office?), Overeaters Anonymous, an Eating Disorders program
    of some sort (often sponsored by area hospitals), a diary, or whatever.
    It's not easy, and I find that I'm still working things through. 

    You've taken the essential first step: admitting to yourself that you
    have a problem. 
    
    Good luck
    Beverly
    

    I agree with .8, there are alot of good thoughts in the previous
    replies.  My main motivation came from reading "Progress" (.15 [I
    think] in this notes file).  Just reading progress reports from
    people on the WW plan go me motivated to give it a try.  I was very
    moved when I read that one guy (sorry, I'm bad with names) lost
    198 pounds - my eyes watered when he wrote that he reached his goal.
    I was so happy for him, and everyone in this conference is so helpful
    and supportive.  That is what does it for me - the support.
    
    I wrote a reply in the "who are you" note (at the very beginning
    of this conference), and I mentioned that I was going to start WW
    and an aerobics program.  A day later, I received mail from a couple
    of people saying "Go for it - we're with you all the way".  Thats
    just what the doctor ordered.  I am the type of person who lives
    on encouragement - and like I said earlier the people in this
    conference are very encouraging and supportive.  
    
    When you do decide to go on a diet (I recommend WW), please post
    a reply in the Progress section, we would love to hear from you
    an support you -  We are all in this together !!!!
    
    Good Luck !!
    
    Debby
    

    Hi, it's Sandy again, the originator. First, thanks so much for
    all the responses and concern. What better way for me to learn what
    this conference is all about but to receive all your encouragement
    and understanding. Some even wrote to me directly! I really appreciated
    it. 
    
    I've done a lot of thinking over what I need to do to get in control
    of my life and I'm going to go two different, hopefully complimentry
    ways. First, I'm seeing someone from EAP tomorrow to try to get
    some emotional help--that old mental attitude problem! And because
    I need some immediate help in losing weight, I am joining Physicians
    Weight Loss Center. I read previous notes on PWLC and explored other
    options and have decided this is the best for me when you consider
    location/logistics, cost and the structure I need to follow a diet.
    I can't start the diet until I receive a full physical on the 9th
    of Sept. so I will keep you posted after that date on my "Progress".
    I'll also give you some feedback on PWLC.
    
    Again, thanks for your support. I hope to be to my goal weight by
    Thanksgiving Day! (good thing turkey is low in calories and fat---gee,
    what about mashed potatoes and gravy, chocolate cream pie, rolls
    and butter................................!!!!)
    
    Sandy

    Sandy:
    
    Even if we shouldn't have the mashed potatoes, etc., just think
    of all the good things we can have, as well as fellowship with our
    friends.  This is indeed a day to be thankful for so many other
    things than food.
    
    Hang in there, we can all empathize with you for we have all felt
    the way you did when you started this note.
    
    M
    

Hi!  My name is Greg.  Ive lost 20lbs in about a month.  For years Ive
had the same problem we have all had - bad habits.  A humand being is
plain and simple - a creature of habit.  I simply changed my habits,
instead of a twinkie, I would eat some type of vegtable.  
I mapped out a exercise program, at first I went twice a week,
then I increased my exercise program to 3 times a week.  Now
I run about 1 and a half every 3 days mon, wed, and Fri.  I have
gotten so used to my routine I dont ever think twice about
skipping a day.  Get into a routine, if you stick with it
it will become second nature.
    
I hope all that BS makes sense.
    
Greg                                                

    Nicely put Greg! I like it. And now you've got into the good habits,
    you could live the rest of your life the same way, right?
    
    Well, that's what I hoping to do, anyway!!!!
    
    - brian

    Greg, I am glad you have been able to  change your habits, but for
    me, it just is not that simple. Drinking too much alcohol is a habit,
    but one that is PRETTY hard to just change for an alcoholic.. 
    Food is my alcohol, and it is real hard for me to mess around with
    it!!!!!  Today is the first day of my diet and I am just trying
    to remember the "One day at a time" motto!   

I know how you feel.  The first two weeks were murder.  But the best
workouts are the ones where you dont feel like running or walking.
Thats the point, once you have laided the ground work the rest becomes
a subconcious thing.  Before you know it your not eating the things
you once did, I suppose the "one day at a time" saying applies to
anything and everything.  Most important keep your goal in mind.
My goal was to lose 4 to 5 lbs a week.  I never stoped thinking about
that goal.  I believe you must encounter failure, before success.  The
sucessful people in the world are not any different than the losers
in life, they just dont give up, they get kicked down, they brush
themselfs off and get up again.  The people that dont succeed give
up, lose all faith.
    
Greg                            
                             

    One of my random stories follows. Please get what you can out
    of it, or skip on to another note. :-)
    
    I've always been interested to observe people's habits, their
    ways of eating, their addictions. (Aren't you?) 
    I think we are all addictive beings to one degree or another 
    (and I've talked about my theory somewhere in this notesfile, I'm
    sure.) 
    
    I watched myself, most of all. I've watched myself
    gain weight, lose it, love exercize, hate it, sneer at myself,
    dress like a knockout, etc etc. All the time, the only constant
    seems to be addiction. I either get addicted to food, addicted
    to a diet, addicted to working out, addicted to hating myself,
    addicted to clothes, addicted to a programme, or just addicted 
    to addiction!   I think.... maybe I got addicted to
    the whole life of dealing with these things. Is that possible?
    
    Holy smokes.  And I don't even have an addictive
    personality, don't come from a family that contained an alcoholic
    or any such thing, don't find myself searching out religions
    or whatever. Honest!
    
    Welp, I've finally gotten away from it all! What happened? 
    A slow process happened, actually:
   
     I counted those thousands of calories, kept those diaries,
    tried on those different sizes....and I dropped those
    free weights on my toes, did those toe touches, jogged around
    those blocks, felt that massive massive guilt while watching
    tv and eating potato chips....and I read the zillions of
    mental attitude books, I hid the diet magazines in my newspapers,
    I chewed over feminism and self-love and such things, and I worried
    worried worried worried.
    
    I got tired of it.......
    
    After ten years, no, fifteen years...?...I sort of forgot about
    it all. I had lost enough tortuous weight that I could fit into OK clothes.
    I was strong enough that I could run a few miles or lift a few
    weights. And, mostly, I let myself off the hook, cause it was
    just....so....terrible....being ashamed, sad, self-doubting.
    Really, who the h*ll is anyone to think they're better than me!
    And who am I to agree with them!! (that's the kicker.)
    
    How strange, I really *like* exercise now (who, me?!) I haven't
    weighed myself in...a year?... who cares? I'm fine. I'm healthy.
    I don't go for the ding dongs in the machines any more, OK, well,
    I had a kitkat the other day cause my life isn't perfect. :-)
    I really shouldn't eat those kitkats, they give me stomach
    aches, ya know? Anyway, I seem to have lost my diet books.
    I seem to have lost my foothold in that world, in fact. I look back to 
    where I was,  addicted to sugar, to coffee, to guilt (that's a 
    fun one), to falling in love with impossible stuckup jerks, oh gee whiz, 
    to all those fun little habits.   
    
    Ain't it a long evolution, a process of growth, though. 
    It can't be overnight, 'cause it's ADDICTION and that means 
    fighting with your addicted personality all the time. 
    I *think* (I don't understand this, really) that I got 
    unaddicted by trying to change alittle at a time, giving up
    the fight, going back to it, forgetting about it, being
    obsessive about it. In fact, it's the process that
    gets you healthy, you see. It has to be a process because
    you have to learn from it.
    
    I still can't give up that coffee. Oh so wat, life's fer living, I say.
    ~/~ Maybe I'll give it up when I get tired of being kept
    awake at night? (Nah...)
    
    Moral of this ramble: Don't give up, keep fighting, treat yourself
    well, eat good foods, sugar is physically addictive, self-hate
    is mentally addictive, no doubt you're an OK-dokie person,
    do whatever you can, give yourself time, take it easy, love yourself.
   
    
    Cheers! Barbara Corman

Geeeeze, Barbara, I thought I was the ONLY one who was an addict!

Actually, I think the difficult thing about being addicted to food
(or sweet carbos and chocolate in my case) are that you HAVE TO EAT
to survive.  You can live without alcohol, smoking, etc.( both of
which I have given up completely because I was addicted) but darn,
you gotta eat!  (well, ok, I don't HAVE to eat sweet carbos and chocolate
but what's life without?).


I think you did what I think is SO important, you decided you liked
yourself, that you were(are) a valuable person worthy of living as
a not-overweight person (if that is what you want!).  Self esteem
is critical to this or any success in life.  We gotta do it for
ourselves because we are the only person we will live with for our
whole life.  

It's a vicious cycle of the worst kind.  You gain a little, decide
you don't look good, start to believe if you don't look good you
aren't good, eat more, gain more, aren't good enough to deserve to
be less heavy, etc., etc...

I wish we wouldn't do it to ourselves.  We are so precious if only
in our own eyes.  We are a miracle, each of us.  We are valuable,
we are worthy, we are deserving.  This is not meant to sound selfish
at all.  As we love ourselves, we more easily love those around us.
When I'm feeling good about myself it's so much easier for me to share
in the joy of those around me.  That's good stuff.

Sorry to be so long winded, but I sure do believe every one of us 
is worth living the way we want to.

Liz

    Barbara..
    
    Thanks sooooooo much for this note.  The timing in my life for it
    right now was perfect!  I, too, have done a very good job of beating
    myself up 'cause I'm not...the perfect wife, the perfect Mom, the
    best cook, the one who always gets bills paid on time, the wash
    done (and folded and put away...of course!)...the perfect worker
    and the perfect weight for the perfect clothes!  WHEW!  Makes one
    ask oneself..."How many of me are there?"
    
    It's time to step out of myself and let me be me.  I tend to lean
    towards food when things aren't going right.  Someone should put
    a big stop sign outside the vending room in the building I work
    at so I will stop and think before I get those M&M's or Fritos or
    (I chuckle at the name of this one...)Smart Food! (only 80 calories
    per bag...but oooooooooh that sodium!)
    
    I, too, like Liz, tend to be able to enjoy what's going on around
    me when I feel good about myself.  So, it's high time to start liking
    myself and to live life on life's terms come what may, right?
    
    Thanks again, Barbara, for your message.  Have a wonderful day!
    
    Linda   :)
      

    Re: .17 and .18
    
    I reread my old note (.16) -- my my, I really *can* ramble, sometimes.
    Anyhow, I'm glad you got something out of it. It's hard for me to
    put into words much of what I want to convey; these things are
    so individual. Everyone who writes into this conference
    is quite brave for exposing her/his soul to public view,
    don't you agree? 
    
    [CAVEAT: Here comes another discourse from Rambling Woman]
    
    Given that American (western? industrialized?) popular culture 
    promotes obsessive
    behavior -- consumerism, the drive for anorexic appearance
    and behavior, and workaholism, to name a few -- I sometimes
    wonder if this notesfile supports those very demons that control
    our lives. I mean, if we don't talk about the reasons for
    this drive to be thin, and about our overwhelming anxieties about
    being fat, but only about how to avoid eating too
    many cookies or whatever, aren't we compounding the problem?
    
    Of course, this notesfile is an incredible source of emotional
    support  and information, a haven of true feelings and a place
    to feel connected (wow, a *real* network!) There's nothing like it! 
    [And, if I didn't like it, why would I be here, reading and writing, 
    right? I certainly don't mind finding out how to eat less cookies.
    :-)]
    
    I'm just always need to remind myself that calorie counting and WWs
    and low cal recipes and self help books and tapes and and and....are 
    only tools for getting healthy. 
    
    
    We have to fight to get to the meat of things (cute pun, hey?)
    After all, it's very hard to admit that one defines one's self worth by
    the clothes size one wears (for example.) 
    That sure seems like a trivial way to live.
    But then, there are reasons we started living this way, and
    I believe we aren't at fault.
    How many of us *are* living this way?.....
    
                                             ....who, me?...... 
    
    Now, excuse me while I go lace up my running shoes -- I'm off to
    do a few miles in the hopes of looking like a model in Seventeen
    Magazine when I'm fifty.
    NO NO JUST KIDDING! Really! :-) 
    
    Yours in this strange struggle to not be strungout, Barbara 
    
    

    .19 - Barbara,
    
    Well, rambling or not, I really like your reply! I'm inclined to
    agree with you about obsessive behaviour. It's almost as if people
    are seen only for what they do, not for what they are. So, if you want
    to be noticed, be an extremist! Especially as far as the media are
    concerned - because it's one way communication, nearly every time.
    But of course, none of us are influenced by the media - are we? ;-)
    Workaholic? me? nah - I'd rather be noting!!!
    
    In a sense you're right about this conference possibly supporting
    obsessive behaviour. But I also think that many people would not be
    able to diet sucessfully without making the process of dieting a fairly
    significant part of their lives. Or, alternatively, have some really
    important reason for wanting to lose weight - like serious health
    problems, or a burning desire to be successful at sport, and so on. A
    person without such motivation, but with a weight problem, perhaps
    needs to fight the obsession with food with something equally powerful,
    at least in the early stages. Too much reaction, of course, and you get
    to anorexia... But within reason, I don't think that mildly "obsessive"
    behaviour towards dieting (and/or exercise) is necessessarily bad.
    It's all a matter of degree - and knowing when to stop.
    
    But what about the _real_ reasons for the drive to be thin? I recently
    had a go at talking about this in the PROGRESS conference. Yes,
    appearance matters. But I think it's of primary concern to the dieter
    _during_the_process_ of dieting. Once you're there - don't worry
    about it any more! Feel pleased you're not as you were, go off and
    live your life with the health and confidence you've acquired. Can't
    be bad, can it? I agree that there are some very brave souls here,
    very much on public view. But I'd add that, to me, there are some
    _very_ personal reasons for wanting to diet - which I wouldn't want
    to post here. The fact that I'm not sharing them with you all doesn't
    mean I'm deriving any less support from being here, far from it.
    It's just that this conference is just a little too public for that
    sort of thing.
    
    And to think I've been overweight for more than 10 years! Must stop
    this waffle - I get paid to work, not NOTE!!! :-(

    - brian

    In 352.10, Sandy, you said that you went through EAP for help. 
    The Employee Assistance Program.  Can you tell me a little bit about
    it?
    
    Let me back up:  I just, J*U*ST now, today, started to read this
    NOTESfile, but it's been in my accunt for a year, at least!  I have
    an awful lot of the same symptoms as you:  Just turned 30 this month,
    not a "major" weight problem (20 lbs.), but a MAJOR problem for
    me.  In honor of my 30th I did give up one vice - smoking.  But
    I've done that before.  In fact, I was off smoking for 2 years before
    I started having a cigarette here & there this past July.  I "allowed"
    myself to smoke til I was READY to quit.  My 30th seemed like a
    nice, momentous occasion to give it up.
    
    I don't think the fact that I stopped smoking caused this weight
    gain-- I've been battling with these 20 lbs. for years now.  I need
    to have my attitude adjusted.  I too need to find the motivation
    to change my way of thinking.  
    
    While everybody shared some really nice thoughts about caring and
    self-acceptance, I don't feel as though that's a part of my problem.
    [though it could be and I just don't recognize it!!!]
    
    So, Sandy, how is your program working?  Is the Physician's Weight
    Loss Center helping?  Did EAP give you good advice?
    
    B-T-W:  I've got the exercise part down okay.  I've been doing aerobics
    for the past year (I started last year, to get myself into my wedding
    gown!!!).
    
    Best regards,
    -marcia

                             
    	RE:  .16 and .19
    
    	WOW!!!  I've gotta meet this woman!  Talk about insight!  I
        really needed to read something like this right now - for that
    	I thank you, Barbara.  Isn't it funny how just when you think
    	your the only person in the world that feels a certain way you
    	find out that you really are not all alone!!! 

                                              Thanks, and God bless,
                                                            John B.