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I think I'll start off the suggestions.
I found there are two keys to staying on a program:
1. Start with a major event, like purging the house of all snack
foods. (This can be hard if you have kids) Then keep that
food out of the house. WHEN I SAY PURGE, I MEAN THROW IT
OUT, DON'T EAT IT!!!! :-)
2. Keep telling yourself why your doing it. For you, I hope.
Try rewarding yourself, it works for me. Every 5 pounds =
one compact disc.
Remember food is an addiction just like alcohol, cocaine, and heroine.
It's not easy to quit, use your friends, loved ones, co-workers.
KICK THE HABIT!
I once was told that I would die by age 35 if I didn't lose the
weight. My response was: "Then at least I'll die happy."
A few months ago, I told a friend of mine with a drug problem:
"If you don't quit, you'll die." You can guess their response.
It has been proven that you get the same gratification from exercise
as you do from food. Need to eat? Take a walk instead.
Hope this helps!
--- Neal
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| In addition to .1:
1) try to figure out what is sabotaging your diet -- is it you or
your diet? if you follow a one-or-two food diet, you'll never be
able to stay on it for long. if you're depriving yourself of things
you really need (not chocolate or ice cream), like carbohydrates
or minerals, your body may crave them enough to overrun your willpower.
2) It may be that you're afraid to be thin. If that's the case then
try to figure out why.
3) Although I think that there are some nutrtional deficiencies
in the Rotation Diet, you may benefit from an on-again/off-again
approach.
4) Exercise, exercise, exercise. Then exercise some more.
5) It also sounds like a weight-loss support group (Weight Watchers,
Diet Center for individual support) may help you over the rough
spots. It's very difficult to lose weigh on one's own.
Good Luck!
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| The most critical question to ask yourself, if your diet regimes
are not at fault, and you're "doing the right things" while on them
(i.e., exercising, developing other interests, purging the house
of foods you don't want to eat), is:
Why do I want to be fat?
On the surface, it seems like a stupid question, but it isn't.
One part of you very much wants to be thin. Some _other_ part of
you has a vested interest in your staying the way you are. I had
this type of problem, and if we're at all alike, _you'll never succeed
until you *make peace* with that part of yourself_. This does not
mean that you treat that part of yourself like a howling child,
whom you symbolically shut up in an attic in the hopes (s)he'll
stop crying. As you are experiencing, that doesn't work. The dynamic
that operated for me when I did that was:
My conscious self, the one that wants to be thin, gets me
going on a new food regime.
My hidden self, who is threatened either by the food regime
itself, or by being thin, revolts.
I pig out. My conscious self experiences tremendous guilt
and while it is paralyzed by it, my hidden self gets to
gorge itself to its own satisfaction.
The only way out is to symbolically sit your two selves down and
say: "What's going on here? Why do you want me to be fat?"
There were very enlightening things I learned by going through this
process. They were:
o food was the only way I could legitimately "take care" of
myself while satisfying everyone else's demands on my time
and energy. (I also could not afford nice "prizes" for
losing weight, such as manicures, extra clothes, CD's,
until very, very recently. I could afford a 35 cent candy
bar or bag of potato chips; that's all 35 cents will buy.
For those of you who say "ah, but .35 * 365 days a year is
$127! Think what you could buy for $127!" Sorry, I need
more frequent reinforcement than a shopping trip once a year
with $127. Also, a manicure or a CD will not get me through
the meeting that has gone past 5 pm when I am dead tired.)
o I was in deep, critical need for loving companionship. At the
same time, I had been raised not to "burden" people with my
needs. Food was the only way I knew how to provide it while
not burdening other people who didn't have time for me. You
know, that kind of a solution, dreamt up by my very own
subconsious, without any help from me or anyone else, is damn
brilliant. Maladaptive, maybe, but brilliant.
o Because I felt I had to everything for myself, by myself, I
felt I had to be strong and capable, and I didn't think that
was possible if I was slim. The only times I lost weight in
my life was when I was very ill (and also completely alone).
It only takes a couple of those types of episodes to condition
your subconscious to react in panic when you lose a few pounds.
o I was smothering negative feelings that were "socially
unacceptable" by eating. I was also absorbing other people's
negative feelings and trying to smother them also.
o I was enraged that society as a whole would not accept the way
I was, and kept implying that I was damaged goods. Even though
I consciously wanted to change to "fit in", the needy child
within me wanted to be accepted for what she was--fat or thin.
And she was enraged to think that she was the one who always had
to change to be accepted. (No wonder I got binge attacks!)
What you learn could be very, very different, since you are a unique,
special person with your own inner genius. There are books that I
found very helpful in leading me through ways to figure out why I
wanted to be fat and helping me deal with them. They may help you
too:
_Feeding The Hungry Heart_
_Breaking Free from Compulsive Eating_
- both by Geneen Roth
_The Obsession_
_The Hungry Self_
- both by Kim Chernin
_Fat is a Feminist Issue_
_Fat is a Feminist Issue_ Vol II
- both by Susie Orbach
They deal with the problems of overeating and overweight from
psychological, sensory, emotional and societal views. None of them
contain diets or exercise regimens; they are food for thought.
And all of them contain a few basic premises:
In order to create the kind of reality you desire, you
must first feel you deserve to have it. This means that
first you have to love yourself.
You are not a freak, a degenerate, an addict, or any of
the other adjectives people with a problem give to them-
selves. You are unique and special and worthy to be
loved, both by yourself and others.
Society's negative judgements about fat can be reason
enough for a spirited person to rebel against them--and
classically that rebellion can take the form of becoming
fat.
Your body's needs must absolutely be respected, whatever
you do.
I wish you the best.
Marcia
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| Thank you, too. Even though I am now close to a good weight for
myself, I still carry scars, stretch marks on the hips and soul,
so to speak. Even though I now look kind of like one of the
Favored Thin, I have what was once touchingly described as a Fat
Soul. Rather than thinking of overweight people as shiftless, lazy,
careless, weak-and-willess slobs, I now think of us as heros, often
coping with difficult life situations the best way we can, unfairly
stigmatized by our society as a whole, struggling to have ourselves
and our problems (ALL our problems, not just our weight) accorded
the dignity we deserve.
Marcia
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