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Conference rocks::weight_control

Title: Weight Loss and Maintenance
Notice:**PLEASE** enter notes in mixed case (CAPS ARE SHOUTING)!
Moderator:ASICS::LESLIE
Created:Tue Jul 10 1990
Last Modified:Tue Jun 03 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:933
Total number of notes:9931

23.0. "Support from others?" by ARGUS::CORWIN (I don't care if I AM a lemming) Wed Apr 29 1987 14:29

My fiance Bill wants to know how he can help me with my diet.  Specifically,
he wants to know what to do or say when I slip up or plan to slip up, in order
to be supportive and get me back on track or keep me on track in the first
place.  I really don't know what to tell him in advance, although I'm sometimes
able to tell him afterwards what he should have done in that particular
instance. :-)

Does anyone have any helpful hints on this subject?

Jill

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23.1CSC32::G_MCINTOSHCHARGERS win the West in '87Wed Apr 29 1987 16:4711
    That's a tough one Jill!  My wife sometimes says what can I do to
    help, but I don't think there really is anything.  It's sort of
    a personal thing that you have to do yourself.  
    
    But what to tell him?  MMMMMMMmmmmmm......say what I say.............
    .......GET OFF MY BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    Just kidding.
    
    Glenn

23.2Just act normalUSRCV1::CARNELLPFanmail from some flounderFri May 01 1987 15:1111
    The best thing others can do for you when you start a diet is to
    just act normally. The worst thing they can do is make a big thing
    out of it. The sooner you can make the diet a regular part of your
    daily life the sooner you'll see results.
    
    Tell him to wait until he can see some obvious changes and then
    praise the hell out of you!
    
    Good luck,
    Paul.

23.3Just being there is being supportive :-)ARGUS::CORWINI don't care if I AM a lemmingMon May 04 1987 14:5039
re .1

>    My wife sometimes says what can I do to help, but I don't think there
>    really is anything.  It's sort of a personal thing that you have to do
>    yourself.  

That sounds like how I feel, too.  Thanks for the encouragement that I'm not
missing something :-)

Sometimes I do feel like telling him to get off my back, but he's not really
on it, and I know he's doing (or trying to do!) what's right.  He's willing
to do whatever will do the most good for me, and that's plenty as far as I'm
concerned.  Sounds like just being there, going through this with me is the
best he can do right now.

re .2

>    The best thing others can do for you when you start a diet is to
>    just act normally. The worst thing they can do is make a big thing
>    out of it. The sooner you can make the diet a regular part of your
>    daily life the sooner you'll see results.
    
Wonderful advice.  I do feel like my new eating habits are part of my life, and
they're here to stay!  I think that is a big sign of success!  I'm plenty happy
eating smaller portions than my previous gorging, and I can get by with fewer
high calorie desserts.  I also don't make fancy, high calorie non-desserts :-)

>    Tell him to wait until he can see some obvious changes and then
>    praise the hell out of you!

Well, as I'm close to maintenance now (officially on it according to WW) he has
seen plenty of changes, and he has indeed praised the hell out of me.  He
even bought me a dozen roses with a very encouraging card at one point, just
to show how proud he was of me.  I'm glad to have this kind of support, even
if there's nothing he can do or say when I do the wrong thing.  If I come up
with something that works, I'll post it, but I won't hold my breath. :-)

Jill

23.4support from spouseCHOVAX::GILSONFri May 08 1987 15:399
    The biggest help to me is recognition of what I've accomplished,
    diet-related and otherwise.  Also he has gently taken my hand
    when I'm eating something I shouldn't and said "take a few minutes to
    decide if you really want it" and BACKED OFF.  It gives you the
    dignity of making your own decision while letting you know he cares.
    
    Going out together to places that are not food related and provide
    some physical activity also helps me.     

23.5With a little help from my friendsNATASH::BUTCHARTFri May 15 1987 10:3875
    As a one-time chunko, who is now reasonably fit and a self-confessed
    "food head" I know how hard it can be to love food (for both the
    right and wrong reasons) while yearning for slimness.  So, for all
    of you out there who are wondering how to be a "good friend" to 
    your companions who are losing weight, here are my suggestions,
    based on some actual experiences:
    
    When I entertain, I _always_ ask my prospective guests about food
    preferences.  This way, I nearly always find out about what kind
    of diet a friend may be on.  And I fix a meal accordingly.  I did
    this without a 2nd thought, but felt greatly rewarded when a friend
    who is on WW told me that she just _loved_ to come to our house
    to eat because she knew she could relax and enjoy the food and
    company--instead of having to waste all her energy checking to see
    if what we had on the table was "legal".
    
    I have learned over the years to take responsibility for my food
    cravings and preferences.  If I feel like some popcorn at 3 in the
    PM, I trot down to the microwave and cook it right up.  I always
    offer it around the office too, but what I _don't_ do is try to
    justify my desire by gathering up some partners in crime first!  (You
    know that old ploy--"see, everyone else is doing it, so going along
    with the group is okay")  Do some of you out there know an overweight
    friend, who's trying to lose, but (s)he is the one you go to when 
    you want to "share the guilt" of having a craving you want to satisfy?
    Shame on you!  This is _your_ craving; don't sabotage your friend's
    efforts trying to make it one of his/hers.  Hmm . . . maybe a better
    idea is to go to your dieting friend when you have a craving and 
    throw yourself at his/her feet and beg for advice.  ("How do you do
    it?  How did you get so strong?  I feel like I'll die if I don't
    eat Hostess Twinkies right now . . . please help me!")  When I want
    advice or support on dieting, I often go to my dieting friends,
    especially those who are on a program like WW.  They really know 
    their stuff.
    
    When going out to eat, I have a score of restaurants to choose from.
    Going out to eat is one of my favorite things, and I carefully study
    the menus of all the places I like.  So I know which ones are so
    sinfully rich that you fall out of your chair and lie on your back
    on the floor, waving your legs feebly in the air, like a june bug,
    after you finish eating!  I also know the ones where good, low-cal,
    nutritious food can be had, without having to constantly tell the
    waiter "no-sauce-plain-broiled-dressing-on-the-side".  I mean, what
    a drag to have to always be reciting that litany wherever you go.
    Why not go to a place where you don't have to think about it?  When
    I go out to eat with a dieting friend, I go to that kind of place.
    And when we're there I order like (s)he does, and do it as if it's
    completely usual.  That kind of unspoken support can be great for
    a friend.  One WW friend trusted me once to find a restaurant for
    us to eat in a place she was completely unfamiliar with.  I took
    her to a lovely soup-n-salad place I like, and we ate great.  At
    the end of our trip, she thanked me for not behaving like some of
    her friends who were always saying "oh come on, just this once won't
    hurt!"  
    
    To all you friends of dieters, the point is that your dieting
    friend is trying to develop new habits of eating.  If you want to
    be a good friend to him/her, help reinforce them.  Do it gracefully,
    happily, as if it's normal and natural, not some deviant way of
    life.  That way you'll help him/her feel that healthful eating _is_
    normal and natural--which it should be.
    
    If you find that you just can't support your friend in his/her efforts,
    you maybe should ask yourself some hard questions.  Like, "what
    am I gaining if my friend stays fat?"  What do you gain?  A feeling
    of superiority?  Someone who "can't compete" with you in the social/
    sexual arena, who will make you "look good" because (s)he looks
    bad?  Someone who you feel you can be as bad as can be with because
    (s)he's so "bad" because of his/her fat?  Someone you can joke about
    because you think his/her fat makes him/her somehow subhuman, and
    therefore safe to joke about?  Hmph.  That doesn't sound much like
    friendship, does it?
    
    Marcia

23.6A friend is a friend...OVDVAX::WIEGMANNMon May 18 1987 15:1325
    Along the same lines - it seems we make friends with those who have
    the same interests & goals we do (I realize this is a generalization!)
    but - what I'm getting at is that when we make the decision to change,
    we may no longer be the person our friends thought we were.  I'm
    in the painful process of moving away from a dear friend because
    of all this.  Whenever I comment on a new blouse, earrings, etc.,
    she never responds with "Thank you, glad you noticed"; it's always
    that she had to buy that style to cover up her little tummy, that
    shape earrings is supposed to draw attention away from her her little
    double chins, etc.  She is a little pudgy, but I am much more so,
    and I go crazy hearing her talk like that to me!  I've tried different
    tactics when she talks like this, even to the point of asking her
    how she could possibly talk about her tummy standing next to me!
    And asking her if she is saying these things thinking she is helping
    me to realize that I have a problem.  Then it got to the point where
    I'd "I want to tell you something, and the only words I want to
    hear out of your mouth are Thank You" then give the compliment!
    All to no avail.  I think she may be expectingme to counter with,
    "Oh, no, you look fine - chins?? what chins??" But I figure I'm
    playing enough mind games with myself trying to lose weight, I didn't
    want to start that stuff with her, so I guess the point of all this
    rambling is that given a chance, we can be better friends to ourselves
    than outsiders, if we listen to ourselves and give constructive
    feedback like goods friends do.

23.7DO IT FOR YOURSELF!CURIE::LEVITANWed May 20 1987 17:4426
    I have a little cartoon drawing on my refrigerator - showing a
    woman looking at a full length mirror saying: "I finally found a
    reason for losing weight - FOR ME!"
    
    Also - re: your 'friend?' - I remember a few years ago losing weight,
    slowly but steadily.  I had a friend I saw weekly - she was quite
    overweight - much more so than I was.  I knew it would only take
    a few weeks - and a few pounds when she said, "You know, you really
    shouldn't lose so much weight.  You're looking so haggard."  It
    took quite a bit of self-control to just smile and say that I knew
    what I was doing and was careful.   And this from a woman who had
    a heart condition - and her doctor and family could not convince
    her that she was killing herself by continually gaining weight.
    P.S. to the story -- about 2 years later - she suddenly had a heart
    attack and died.
    
    I learned that in order to lose weight - it should come off slowly
    but surely.  I've not been good to myself this past year due to
    various kinds of stress at work, family, etc.  But I'm on my way
    now - a pound or two off a week, a bit of exercise - and I feel
    I'm doing well.
    
    Best of luck to all of us - to continue to take care of ourselves
    FOR OURSELVES!
    

23.8The side of the SupporterTLE::MEIERBill Meier - VAX AdaTue Jun 09 1987 13:2047
Well, I'm the mystery "Bill" Jill has been talking about. She has done very
well, and lost about 35 pounds in about the last year. And, as she said, she has
basically been on maintanence since Decemeber. I'm her supporter, or at least
one of them, that she eluded to in previous replies. 

However, here I want to present a different side of the "support for the dieter"
- the feelings of the supporter. As many replies have mentioned, sometimes
there's not much anyone else can to or say - it has to be from the person on 
the diet.

But, I would be curious to here the dieters opinions on a different subject. 

What we feel when the dieter goes on a splurge, or something. I'll use a real
example: Last Sunday, we went out to Victoria Station for dinner with another
couple. She ordered the 11 oz prime rib, with potatoe w/ sour cream and butter,
and the salad bar that comes with it. Her salad was varied, and also included a
few tablespoons of potatoe salad, along with the standard lettuce and veggies. 

How do you think *I* (as supporter) feel when I see her do this, and watch her
eat it? I feel terrible! I feel helpless. I don't say anything. I feel
disappointment. Its not until later, sometimes a day or too, before she thinks
back and realises it wasn't such a good thing to do, and then she gets down on
herself. 

Last night (the night after the dinner), we had a very emotional and exhausting
2+ hour discussion about it, which left us both tired. 

But, while at home with me, every morning she faithfully weighs 3/4 oz of cereal
(1 bread or protien exchange on WW), and carefully adds exactly 1 oz of a
mixture of dates and raisens (1 fruit exchange). 

Its hard for me to deal with these radical changes in her eating pattern, as
well as how I feel watching her eating something I suspect she shouldn't be, and
something I expect she will think back and regret in a day or so, and have
another emotional time with me. 

Any comments hereing "the other side"?

P.S. I'm not a reader of this notesfile, but I'm sure Jill will pass along any
new replies to me.

P.S.S. And, to give her some credit, and make the story accurate, she did leave
a piece of the prime rib on her plate, although I don't know if it was because
she was full, or because she figured she better stop eating. Maybe she can tell
you. And, she did go back to the salad bar later, to make a fruit salad -
maybe as "desert" (Turns out none of us ordered desert anyway).

23.9the guilty party :-(ARGUS::CORWINI don't care if I AM a lemmingTue Jun 09 1987 14:4332
re .8 (Bill)

My first reaction to Bill's original comments last night was "Great, now when
I go off track, I can feel guilty for another reason".  I'm not sure yet
whether the additional guilt potential will keep me on track more or not.  It
doesn't seem right that I should have this additional "burden" on my shoulders
of Bill's well-being due to my diet, but that's the way it is because I'm so
lucky to have him, and we affect each other's well-being all the time.

re dinner at Victoria Station:

I don't know what happened.  I guess I felt that I should be able to order
what I wanted, and no diet was going to tell me otherwise.  (We also hadn't
eaten lunch, after a later, larger breakfast than usual.)  I left a lot of the
potato, though I did eat/enjoy the butter and sour cream (yup, the worst part
is the toppings).  I would have been satisfied with the petite cut, or maybe
even part of the petite cut, of prime rib.  And I really wanted the prime rib.
I did leave 4-5 ounces on my plate, mostly because it was too rare and needed
more cooking at home, though I was indeed full (but that probably wouldn't have
stopped me then!).  And I wasn't letting a "diet" stop me.  I did get some fruit
salad for dessert, and the others who were with us were going to get dessert but
didn't because the waitress didn't come back in time.  I most certainly was NOT
going to order dessert!

I am usually very good, but sometimes I break loose and go crazy. These are the
times that try Bill's soul (and then my own soul!)

Well, I don't want to say any more now, I just wanted to add a few things to
Bill's story.  Please let us know what you think...

Jill

23.10RE .8 & .9UHCLEM::COYLETue Jun 09 1987 15:3423
    RE .9
    
    Your first reaction is quite normal, and probably the additional
    guilt potential won't help.  Any major change in ones life will
    only succed if it is initiated by the person needing the change
    wanting it.  Others can offer support, but we all know that often
    the line is crossed and support becomes nagging, and this is
    usually counterproductive.
            
    I sympathize with Bill's reaction, because even though I have been
    on the receiving end of unsolicited and/or overly agressive help;
    I have also been guilty of supplying it to others. Recently a friend
    of mine has been trying to correct a situation in her life that
    was worse than the 200 lbs I am in the process of losing, when she
    slid back a bit I jumped all over her because I really wanted to
    help. Of course it didn't work, it only gave her an excuse to give
    up.  Fortunately now, after a two month delay, she is again trying.
    This time I will offer support rather than criticism; I hope I can
    remember the difference.
    
    -Joe
    

23.11Supporter vs. PolicerNATASH::BUTCHARTTue Jun 09 1987 18:2760
    Re: the last few
    
    One of the things I have learned from my own dieting, supporting
    my dieting friends and my husband is:  being a supporter does not 
    mean being a policeman.  If a dieting friend and I are dining, I
    always offer the opportunity to go to low-cal restaurants.  But
    I don't feel "betrayed" if (s)he pigs out.  I have come to feel
    that even very important, long-term goals must sometimes be relaxed
    in order to "feed the soul".  I respect anyone's right to indulge
    occasionally, to nourish themselves in the manner that they might
    need to at that moment.  As important as being thin and looking 
    good has been to me, there are also times when sensual indulgence 
    is in order.  At those times, I  often choose to splurge with food.
    What is the harm if I don't splurge 3-6 times a day, 365 days a year?  
    I know by now that I'll be on track tomorrow.  What is the harm in 
    occasionally feeling real satisfied (not a condition that dieters 
    often feel) if one consciously chooses to do it for a limited amount 
    of time (say, one meal)?
    
    I also feel that if my friends are at all grown up then they'll 
    make their own reparations in their own time; it's not up to me 
    to do that for them.  Becoming someone's policeman is _not_ the 
    same thing as supporting them as an adult; if you act like a 
    policeman, the other person begins to feel resentment because 
    (s)he's getting the message that (s)he's a child who has to be 
    watched and controlled.  That doesn't make _any_ adult feel good.  
    
        
    Now I also understand what it feels like to watch someone in pain,
    (and many of us are in terrible pain from what we perceive as our
    terrible failure about our weight) and to writhe as they seemingly 
    court a situation that you think will increase their pain.  It's not
    easy.  But think of the person's track record before you blow up 
    at him/her.  If a friend is always _saying_ (s)he wants to lose
    but also always pigging out, then I'd be upset.  But if the person 
    has a problem basically under control, in fact under such _good_ 
    control that (s)he can know that to indulge occasionally is alright, 
    that it won't disrupt the overall new pattern of eating habits, 
    won't result in self-hatred/binge/etc. cycles--well, that's a 
    symptom of success, not failure!
    
    For all you supporters (and dieters!) out there, here is some food 
    for thought:
    
    	o Weight, and food, and overeating, and diets are not
    	  the real point.
    
    	o The real point is--can the person exercise free choice 
    	  about what to do with his/her life?
    
    When food "rules" you, you don't have free choice ("I've GOT to
    eat!!!" or "I CAN'T eat!!!")  When the long term dieter can say 
    "I CHOOSE to eat" and "I CHOOSE NOT to eat"--now by golly, that
    is success.  Whether they have obeyed the letter of the law on their
    particular food plans is not the measure of success, nor is how
    many pounds or inches have disappeared, as much as people focus
    on those measures.
    
    Marcia

23.12The Silent PartnerUSRCV1::CARNELLPI gotta get another hatWed Jun 10 1987 18:3123
    An old SO and I had a reasonable system that worked for us. Since most
    of our binges (me eating, she drinking) occurred in public, it was
    usually not possible or too embarrassing to say anything to the other.
    So we agreed that whenever we felt that the other had had enough we
    would dig out a penny and discretely place it in front of them ("Penny
    for your thoughts" get it?). Usually we could do this without anyone
    else noticing. We agreed that it was then totally up to the other
    person to either let up or keep going, the responsibility of the
    supporter stopped at the penny ("The 1% of a buck stops here" get it?
    Is this getting too cute or is it me?). 
    
    This worked out pretty well for over two years. Most of the time we
    never realized that we were over indulging until that penny appeared.
    I was usually shocked at just how much I had already eaten without
    even thinking about it! By agreement we never discussed the penny on
    the day after, whether we had heeded it or not. All that happened was
    that the penny went into a jar that sat on the kitchen window sill. I
    was pleased that after several months of rapid growth the penny pot
    leveled out and never did fill up (as we at first predicted it
    would). 
    
    Paul.

23.13OVDVAX::WIEGMANNThu Jun 11 1987 10:2215
    Interesting!  Lokks like I'll have an interesting weekend - it never
    occurred to me to ask my 6'5" 300 lb husband what he thinks when
    he sees me overeating.  I guess I've always thought he has no room
    to *say* anything, like I figure who am I to say anything to him,
    but what I am thinking is a different story, and now I realize that
    this is real close to dishonesty!  Another mind game is that if
    I have a craving for Breyer's chocolate, all I have to do is suggest
    it, and he is on his way to the store!  Then it is real easy to
    blame him!  This was until we got a carton that was bad, so now
    if he wants ice cream, I'll say Breyer's chocolate, because I won't
    eat any now.  Finding the Nutrasweet popsicles helped, too!!
    
    Paul - I like it - who picked up the penny and took it home to the
    jar?? 

23.14Spoken sincerelyCHOVAX::GILSONThu Jun 11 1987 14:575
    re 11.
    
    Wow are you eloquent!  I hope you write for DEC as part of your
    job.

23.15The Sad Weight/WatcherNHL::ARNOTue Jul 07 1987 13:5327
    
    I seem to be at a stand still.. I lose weight during the week
    and then the weekend comes and I never seem to get passed this
    weight I am at ... and it can get upsetting...
    
    I think sometimes I should skip weekends.. I do better when I 
    am at work and not thinking of eatting...
    
    I was doing good around March and April now since the good weather
    is here all I want to do is eat the things I shouldn't.
    
    When will I ever learn.. I do want to lose weight but I will never
    do it this way..I want to go to my class reunion in 2 years looking
    good... I need to get on the stick.. Support is what I need ..
    Does anyone have any they can give me??
    
    
    Thanks alot
    
    
    Ann
    
    
    
    
    

23.16Re: .15 - A new approachNATASH::BUTCHARTWed Jul 08 1987 11:3671
    Ann, I have a hunch about something you might need to look at. 
    You say you do well dieting on weekdays, and fall "off the wagon"
    on weekends.
    
    What is so horrible about your weekdays?
    
    Now you might say "but weekdays aren't horrible, it's week_ends_
    that do me in."  Well, anyone's life is more than weight watching.
    And what I think may be happening goes something like this:
    
    If your job is really stressful, or your weekday schedule is truly
    packed and scrambled, or you can only get through it by dint of
    immensely disciplined concentration, by the weekend your bod and 
    your mind need rest.  Total rest.  A complete and utter change 
    of pace.  Which means that neither of them (your mind or your bod) 
    wants to do _anything_ that remotely resembles what you do during 
    the rest of the week.  And one of those things that you've included, 
    by habit, in what you do during the weekdays, is diet.  Is it any 
    wonder, then, that your mind and body want to throw the diet out 
    the window come Friday night along with all the rest of the cares 
    of the world?
    
    I don't think making weekends more like your weekdays (i.e.,
    super-busy) will work.  I think you need to reverse the approach,
    and figure out how to make your weekdays more like weekends, so
    that you can have an easier time divorcing your diet aspirations
    from a schedule.  Another thing you should try is to uncouple your
    dieting behavior from your total weekday schedule.
    
    Some things you could try to divorce your diet from your "normal"
    weekly schedule:
    
     1) first try delaying the overeating by a day.  In other words, 
    	if your overeating time usually starts Saturday, try 
    	waiting til Sunday.  Then, DO NOT restart your diet 
    	Monday AM; restart it Tuesday.  Week after that, try starting 
    	your overeating on Monday; don't restart dieting until 
    	Wednesday.  Get your mind and body out of the habit of 
    	associating dieting with a weekly schedule.
    
     2) when your body and mind have pretty much accepted that dieting
    	and overeating are not connected to the American Work Week,
    	try increasing the number of days between overeating times.
    	In other words, on your current schedule, you eat correctly
    	for 5 days, then overeat for 2.  Try eating correctly for
    	6, then overeat for 2; then next, try eating correctly for 
    	7, then overeat for 2.  You know you've got those 2 days
    	coming to you as "treats"; you're trying to increase the
    	time between allowed treats.  When you get to the point where
    	you're eating correctly 28 days out of 30, I bet you'll also
    	be losing weight like a bandit _and_ getting those 2-day treats.
    
     3) while you're doing these two things, _really listen_ to how
    	you feel about the rest of your life.  For instance, the first
    	time you make yourself wait to start your weekend "pigout",
    	and not restart the diet Monday--how does that make you feel?
    	Confused?  Upset?  Does your job or anything else seem more
    	stressful?  Do you feel guilty?
    
    	Then look for the sources of these feelings.  For instance, 
    	if you feel guilty not starting the diet again on Monday, 
    	why?  If you decide it's because you so completely associate 
    	the weekday with complete and utter discipline (_and_ not 
    	getting to do anything you want), and so allowing yourself 
    	the pleasure of food feels terribly "wrong" and makes you 
    	less committed to the rest of your weekday scheduled 
    	disciplines, you may need to work on better balancing your 
    	life as a whole.

    How does this approach sound?

23.17What Helped MeWCSM::HOTTSat Aug 15 1987 23:5518
    While I was taking a year to lose 35 pounds on a Weight Watchers
    At Work program, here's the support that helped me.
    
    When I was sticking to my diet, I liked to hear how well I was
    doing and how great I looked.
    
    When I was falling off of the program, what I needed to hear 
    was take I had been so successful up til then and I could get
    back on program the next day and be successful again.
    
    Guilt not only never helps; it usually is counter-productive.
    Guilt usually produces in me the feeling of why bother to even
    try.  Being reminded that if I could do it in the past, I could
    do it in the future helped me continue to try.
    
    					Donna
                                             

23.18My Darling SpouseSRFSUP::TERASHITACalifornia GirlMon Nov 30 1987 17:1512
    My husband has been tremendously supportive of my weight loss efforts
    with Weight Watchers.  He has eaten the Weight Watchers menus with
    me.  He has exercised with me.  He has been delighted to go shopping
    with me for new, smaller clothes.  And he has NEVER asked me, "Should
    you be eating that?  Is that on your program?"  And, while I have
    lost 40 pounds, he has lost 20 (yes, he was slightly overweight).
    I couldn't have asked for a more supportive partner.  I'm sure that,
    with his help, I will lose the remaining 42 pounds I need to lose
    to get to my goal range.
    
    Lynn (The Thynn)

23.19BUSY::MAXMIS11Mon Nov 30 1987 17:4711
    
    
    Lynn,
    
    I am glad to hear that your hubby was supportive.  In fact I am
    glad to hear that you are married!  That way you won't be hogging
    (and hugging) all those other available guys that now must find you
    totally irresistable. ;^)
    
    Marion (who_just_loves_a_good_success_story)

23.20Can't stop nowNHL::ARNOTue Dec 29 1987 08:3216
    
    Now that I am on a good losing streak I hope I will not mess
    things up.. I seem to be doing so well.. 
    I do this alot and all of a sudden I start eating and gaining
    it back..
    
    I want to be a success and not fall... Please give me advise so
    I won't fall... and keep this going..
    
    Thanks to all
    
    
    Ann
    
    

23.21Some adviceBOXTOP::BOONETue Dec 29 1987 09:1823
    
            Ann,
               First, you must recognize your accomplishments. Think
            all the weight that you have lost. And YOU did it by yourself.
            Don't let food rule you, we must rule our food. Meaning
            that we monitor every single thing that we eat. Finally,
            try to get rid of any guilt if any. If you fall off the
            bandwagon, just get back up, dust yourself off and try try
            again, and aim always to go forward, never back. :-)
               I don't know about you, but alot of times when we go
            into that frenzy to just eat everything in sight, we are
            NOT EVEN HUNGRY. Sometimes it helps to just sit and think
            for a few moments....does my body really need this, or can
            I do without this? Usually the answer comes up 'no' to the
            former and 'yes' to the latter. And as your title to your
            reply says...."Can't Stop Now"...you've come too far!
    
            Good luck and don't stop.
    
            Chris
    
     

23.22Be Honest With Yourself & Accept YourselfRSTS32::KASPERInquiry, Sir: A Snootfull?Tue Dec 29 1987 10:5215
    Ann, try making a deal with yourself that even if you go off program
    completely for a while, you'll still weigh yourself every week.  You've
    learned new eating habits; even a binge is likely to be less extreme
    than it was before.  If you see your weight holding steady, just wait
    until you're in the mood to push yourself for the rest of the loss.  If
    you start to gain again you'll know it right away, and won't be able to
    kid yourself.
    
    Oh, yes -- don't forget to give all your old much-too-big-now clothes
    to Goodwill or the Salvation Army!!
    
    Good Luck!
    Beverly
    

23.23This Year!NHL::ARNOThu Jan 07 1988 13:0516
    
    I just joined Weight Watchers once again, as the class that 
    we had at work stopped.. due to lack of interest.. It
    was going great then things changed.. 
    I know I can't do it on my own and believe you me I need all
    the support I can get..  
    
    I want this year to be the Year of taking care of Me!
    
    You all take care of yourselves,
    
    
    Ann
    
    

23.24RSTS32::VERGEThu Jan 07 1988 16:015
    Come on, Ann, you can do it!  I know you can!!!  Just take care of you,
    and it will happen!
    
    Val

23.25A let down!NHL::ARNOThu Jan 21 1988 08:4222
    
    I thought I was going to add good News in the Progress file
    but I can't as I stayed the same and I thought I was going
    to see a good lose because I have been going by my program
    and doing what I am suppose to.. My scales at home said I 
    lost and I was all excited to get weight in and when I did
    they said you stayed the same.. I did I said I thought I 
    would be down atlest two..
    
    Where I get weight in they have Three scales and I have been
    told you should stick to the same scale so if they weight 
    you on different scales how can that be right?
    
    I know the scale at work is off 5 pounds the nurse told me!!
    
    A let down Weightlosser!
    
    Ann Bimo 
    
    
    

23.26just keep at it!CHEFS::KEVILLEEVANSknowledge, an antidote to fearThu Jan 21 1988 08:5222
>>    A let down Weightlosser!
  

Now don't you give up!!  It stands to reasons that if you are folling your
plan faithfully and you are patient that sooner or later it will start paying
off!!  Just don't get depressed and give up.. that is the most important
thing!

I started my diet Jan 1, by the 15th I had lost 9 pounds, I have not lost
an ounce since though... sometimes we just hit stages where it does not
budge.  But I am determined and I will stick with it.. I keep telling 
myself that if I don't loose another ounce for the rest of this month 
I still managed to loose 9 pounds in January and that is wonderful.. it
really does not matter that it was 9 and then a stall.. I know the stall
is just a temp. thing while my body is getting adjusted and all.

Chin up kiddo.. things WILL get better!!! 

lots of :-)'s

gailann

23.27The scale owes you one...STAR::YANKOWSKASJeramiah was a bullfrogThu Jan 21 1988 08:5911
    re .25:
    
    Ann, measure yourself when you get home tonight.  You may be pleasantly
    surprised to find that this is a week where although you didn't
    lose pounds, you've lost inches.  I had that happen to me more than
    once during my weightloss program.
    
    
    py 
    

23.28you're still on a roll, Ann!!ARGUS::CORWINI don't care if I AM a lemmingThu Jan 21 1988 10:5414
Hi Ann,

You've done so well so far!  Your body is just taking time to sort out things.
Many times, after a week or even two of no change, you'll show a good loss.

As Paul said, you'll probably notice a measurement difference, even if the
number on the scale hasn't changed.

And, as you said, there are different scales, and even one scale itself isn't
always accurate with itself!  Just keep on keeping on, and the weight will
keep on coming off!!

Jill

23.29Caring PeopleNHL::ARNOThu Jan 28 1988 07:2915
    
    
    Well Thank you all that gave me the nice words to keep hanging
    in there.. It helped as I lost 3 pounds last night..
    
    There sure are alot of caring people here Thanks a bunch (-:
    
    God Bless you 
    
    
    Ann
    
    
    

23.30Eating Right Pays Off (sooner or later)!BEVRLY::KASPERSTMP T VWLS!Thu Jan 28 1988 11:2613
    
> ...I lost 3 pounds last night..
    
    Ann,
    
    You didn't lose 3 pounds last night; you lost them over the past
    several weeks!  Remember that perseverance pays off next time you hit a
    plateau!
    
    Great going!
    Bev
    

23.31SQM::AITELEvery little breeze....Thu Jan 28 1988 12:066
    Good job, Ann.  Keep going and you won't have to worry about
    finding those larger sized clothes.  We're all rooting for
    you.
    
    --Louise

23.32a weekend with Food LoversNHL::ARNOWill you be my VALENTINEWed Feb 10 1988 08:0514
    
    
    It will be next weekend that I will be going away with some
    friends...and all of them Love Food and I think sometimes
    they use friendship as an ok to eat!
    
    I want to use my head and not follow them.. I think I'll do fine
    but you never can tell..They may push me too much and off I'll 
    go eating with them..
    
    Ann
    
    

23.33 Now is not the timeSTAR::YANKOWSKASI don't do windowsWed Feb 10 1988 10:1218
    re .32:
             
    Ann, I must ask again --  why are you worried TODAY about a piece
    of cake or pie that you might eat *TEN DAYS FROM NOW*???
    
    As a friend who knows that friendship is not an excuse to push food
    on people, I'm genuinely concerned that you're going to set yourself
    up for failure if you continue to think in this fashion.
    
    In addition, unproductive worry takes away from energy that could
    be directed towards following your program TODAY.
    
    Please reread 189.16 and really think about what it says.  
    
                                                     
    Paul
    

23.34Feeling LowNHL::ARNOI Owe I Owe so Off to Work I goThu Nov 03 1988 14:1520
    
    I get so angry ... when I keep staying the same weight..
    
    I want to lose another 10 pounds but it seems like for ever..
    
    I'am afraid I will get down and say to Heck with it but I know
    I can't afford to do that...
    
    I have a couple of friends bugging me ...too...
    
    I feel down ..but want to get perked up...
    
    
    How do you handle...these times ?
    
    
    Ann
    
    

23.35Have you tried this?VAXWRK::LESHINThu Nov 03 1988 16:1115
Hi Ann,

One thing that helps me is remembering a note I read in this file from Joe 
Coyle.  I don't know the # of it, but what I remember is that he said when 
he was on a plateau for awhile rather than getting discouraged, he decided 
that he would try to maintain that weight for awhile.

I tried the same thing when I reached plateau with weight watchers.  I 
managed to stay at the plateau weight for several months and have just 
begun my diet again.  It seems more positive this way.

Hope it helps.

Sandi

23.36RDGENG::MCCARTNEYwho needs parallel parking...Fri Nov 04 1988 10:5323
    I did that too, earlier this year, I had lost about 20 pounds, and
    I just got really bored with the whole thing.   I stopped for a
    couple of months, completely, and when I went back I had put on
    4 pounds, which I thought not too bad as I hadn't been thinking
    about it at all.
    
    Then again in September I was in the US on holiday for 3 weeks,
    and I decided to just try to maintain.   I really did not think
    too much about it, I had icecream and burgers, and even went to
    a chocolate party (actually didnt eat much there, it was a bit to
    sickly - which is a major change for me) .  I didn't put on any
    weight at all to my amazement.
    
    
    I think its a good idea to have a month off if you have been dieting
    for a long time, and have some way to go.
    
    Good luck
    
    
    Jenni