Conference quokka::non_custodial_parents

    	I think you'll find that you'll be paying her full child support
    for two children, based on the formula, whether you like it or not. And
    it doesn't matter that you're taking your son because if you weren't,
    you'd be paying child support for all 3 children. The court would
    probably recommend that she works, probably part-time. If it's
    full-time, you'll be expected to also contribute towards daycare
    expenses in addition to the child support mentioned. And, if she hasn't
    worked for the entire time you've had children and/or her career
    potential is small, you may find yourself paying alimony on top of all
    this if she pushes for it.
    	What's "fair" is how you look at it. What she's asking right now
    may not sound great to you, but it's actually a "steal" compared to
    what could happen if you're not careful. And I think others will tell
    you that I'm not exaggerating.

    Brian,
    
    You pay child support because you have a moral and legal responsibility
    to support your kids after a divorce. You do not have a responsibility to 
    support your ex in most cases, and where you do it's called alimony and
    quite seperate.
    
    You need to discuss this with your lawyer.  
    
    IMHO - I would take the high ground and argue that she has to seek 
    employment to contribute to the well being of her 3 children. Both those 
    that live with her and, through child support guideline adjustments, the 
    child that lives with you.   
    
    I have never been unemployed and perhaps someone else can add to this,
    but I don't think that she can collect benefits forever in any case and 
    she has to seek employment at some point.
    
    In court - since all the children are of school age you have a fair
    case. If your wife has previously worked then argue for an adjustment to 
    child support equal to what she is reasonably able to earn. Use last 
    years tax return. You won't get it, but it may reduce what you pay and it 
    should motivate her to get a job.  
    
    If your wife has not worked and does not have work experience/skills she 
    needs to get education that will ultimately lead to employment.
    
    Frankly, she really has to learn to earn a living and support herself.
    If, for no other reason, child support payments will ultimately stop.
    
    Martin
    

         I think it's in the kids best interest to keep them all together.
    So why not go for all three of them? I have 3 children too and there's
    no way I'd have taken my son without taking my girls as well. Granted
    the ages are different. My son being the youngest of my children. I'd
    never gotten terribly hung up on the $$ as long as all three of them 
    were being taken care of and I had liberal visitation. 
    
    bob

    ..Sides, it makes the ol men/boys against the women/girls. Not a pretty
    sight. But, the sign of the times I guess..

.3 , .4 

	My son is hard to handle and I think the one-on-one
	will do him some good. It does create a boys vs girls ,
	but it also create less chaos for all 5 people involved.

	With the help of our 2 lawyers and the mediator , we have
	the following ideas on the table.

	- My wife will be assumed to make 20K.

	- I will pay child support for the two girls based
	  on the formula using my Digital pay and the 20K. 

	- The child support will be reduced by using the
	  formula to calculate what my wife would pay for
	  child support for our son using my Digital pay
	  and the 20K. 

	- Any extra money that my wife or I earn will NOT
	  be part of the child support formulas. I am making
	  some plans for a 2nd job to help keep me on my
	  feet. 

Brian

    Good luck!!