| Title: | Welcome to the Non-Custodial Parents Conference |
| Notice: | Please read 1.* before writing anything |
| Moderator: | MIASYS::HETRICK |
| Created: | Sun Feb 25 1990 |
| Last Modified: | Fri Jun 06 1997 |
| Last Successful Update: | Fri Jun 06 1997 |
| Number of topics: | 420 |
| Total number of notes: | 4370 |
I have been the custodial parent of my two children for six years.
I am having a problem with the children's mother. She has refused to
reimburse me for dental/medical payments for my children. I have
orthodontic payments (paid for) which exceeded $2500 for my daughter.
And other dental bills for my daughter and son which have now exceeded
$400. She refuses to pay for my daughter as she is 18, although all
work and bills were paid for before my daughter reached 18. Although
my daughter is a college student, the Ma. guidelines apply in this
case.
Both children get eye exams and need new glasses every year. She
has decided to only pay for my son's glasses. SO for the last three
years, I have not received any reimbursement for my daughter's glasses.
On the orthodontics, the divorce decree states "based on financial
ability" to pay. Now that was the divorce statement, but she was the
one who initiated the orthodontics, and when I received custody of
the children she walked away from all financial burden.
My ex was not required to pay any child support during the change
of custody, as the judge did not want her to become a burden to
the State of Massachusetts. However, she has a steady job, and
is doing quite well. I have contacted several lawyers and they
all have told me to save my money because the legal system would
not do anything to help to assist.
As an additional note, my son age 16 has refused to visit with his
mother in over a year and a half. I actually had to pay him and
pay for his half of the meal to take his mother out for Mother's
Day. But he still refuses to deal with her over the phone or in
a face-to-face conversation.
Any pointers greatly appreciated.
Ken
| T.R | Title | User | Personal Name | Date | Lines |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 398.1 | Additional Piece | MSE1::KBROWN | Sat Jul 06 1996 08:49 | 29 | |
As an addition:
Since my daughter received her license, I have paid for her car
insurance and sometimes gas. It was a deal I made with her if she
kept her grades up I would continue to pay for it. I also absorbed
college expenses when she started last year. I didn't have to pay
for the tuition as she has a trust fund for this, but I absorbed all
other costs. She has a part-time job and is now paying for her car
and insurance. I nor my daughter never received any financial support
from her mother.
My son is now 16 and has his license. Although we have him
listed on a car as a part-time driver, you can imagine the cost of
insurnace. His mother was gracious enough to send a check for $50.00
to help with his insurance. He is looking to go to college in two
years, but knows his mother will not assist in anyway. The divorce
agreement states "based on financial ability." SO we both know that
he will never get any support from his mother.
I am sending both kids to Florida to visit their maternal grand-
parents. No, I am not rich, I accumultated enough frequent flyer
milles over three years to send them for free. I received a letter
from their mother that since I can afford to send them to florida
that I can afford to pay for all their other bills.
Sorry for venting, but I have had enough of the hassles with the
uncaring, mental midget known as my children's mother.
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| 398.2 | QUOKKA::39702::SPICER | Mon Jul 08 1996 16:17 | 33 | ||
I don't understand why you are not able to remedy at least some of this
in the probate court. So I am not going to play judge here.
Since you didn't mention it I assume the NCP is making the court ordered
payments, or, if appropriate no payment.
Child support is a cash payment. The NCP does not elect how it is spent
(which child, which area) period.
In the state of MA (you mention) child support is paid until emancipation
or the completion of full time education up to 23 years.
College education is generally paid according to means and unless
there are exceptional circumstances (unemployment) both parties
contribute.
Uninsured medical expenses are joint after a nominal amount each year
(say $100).
Non essential medical expenses (orthodontics are the most common) have
to be discussed before the costs are incurred. There is no obligation
for the NCP to pay for anything the CP decides alone.
If you elect to pay for your childs car costs, sending them to Florida
or whatever, that is your decision.
At 16 if your child(ren) decide not to see their Mother that is their
decision, unless you are influencing a minor.
Martin
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