Conference quokka::non_custodial_parents

    Only if there is a clause in the final decree that states that the
    child cannot move beyond 25 mile raduis or 50 mile. It can be
    challenged and overturned because of the constutional laws of it all. 
    
    Almost always you just state that your moving for a better
    job/employement and its granted if there is a clause in the decree. 

    How does your ex-husband feel about it?
    
    Will his child still have a father?
    
    Usually, even court-ordered stipulations aren't enforced unless at
    least one parent objects.
    
    
                                      Kurt

    
    
    If memory serves me, you have to at least notify the court of
    your intentions.  If you fail to do so, it could come back to haunt
    you.  This is even if there is no stipulation in the agreement.

	During the creation of my seperation agreement, I was advised to define
the parameters of this issue.  My understanding was that there was little or
nothing I could do to stop my ex from moving anywhere within the state, but that
she could not leave the state without my consent.  The impression I got from the
judge was that during joint custody, the parent with physical, can not create a 
situation where it places a hardship on the other parent to exercise their 
visitation rights.  We opted for a twenty five mile radius from my home, this 
allowed her to move out of state, but within a reasonable distance from me. 

    
    I just went through this.  I have legal and physical custody of my son.
    I was informed that I would have to fill a modification of the divorce
    decree.  I did that.  My ex and I had to go to court.  I was granted
    permission to leave the state.  I also live in Mass.  
    
    If you want more information on how to do this contact me off line.
    
    Gemvax::Gardner
    
    I will be more than happy to help you in any way that I can.
    
    
    Della
    
    

    
    The proper and "moral" thing to do is to consult with your children's
    father. If he is involved with his children then he should have some
    say. There are no laws other than local laws, restraining orders, Contempt
    of court Citations, initiated by your ex that can stop Moms from moving
    away with the children. These local laws can be, and are routinely 
    ignored by the Custodial Parent (almost always Moms). Once you have
    moved out of the Juristicton of local courts, ie. to another state,
    or across the Country local laws have no effect.
      This note is from a father whose children have been moved three times in 
    six years by a malicious Mom making me a "visitor" to my two little
    boys.                               Bill. 
    

    For those who'd like to stop malicious relocations, try filing a
    Petition For Writ of Ne Exiate.
    
    If you can, you might try to get the opposition lawyer and any 
    welfarecrats involved as fellow defendants and/or conspirators.
    
                                 Kurt (Former victim of malicious relocation, 
                                       but now single parent Daddy)

Well, Steve's daughter's mother told us a couple of months ago that she was
going to move to Florida, in with her parents down there.  This was two months
after Steve and Sarah were finally getting to know each other after 10 years.

Now we find out that the mother left her kids with her parents, and is living
(in Florida) 4 hours away with the cousin of the guy she was living with up
here in Massachusetts.  She had lived with him before and it didn't work, she
thinks she can make it work without her kids.

She's still collecting the child support.  Her mother (Sarah's grandmother) is
going to send Steve a copy of the letter the mother gave her saying she consents
to having her parents become legal guardians for her kids.  She doesn't want
them anymore.

This is the best thing that could happen to those girls, the grandparents love
them and treat them well.  The mother was mentally abusive.  What worries us
is that the grandmother, not the mother should be receiving the money.  Hope
this isn't going to be another big hassle.

Laura

    
    re -1
    
    I'd file for Change of Custody--NOW!  Get a copy of that  letter
    first, though.
    
    I'd also file for the child support to go to Grandparents instad
    of the mother until this is all sorted out.
    
    fred();

    I will second that! Time is not on your side. Act quick and swiftly!

>    I will second that! Time is not on your side. Act quick and swiftly!

Why is time not on our side?  We're waiting for the letter from the grandmother
to arrive before we do anything.  Do you think they'd believe us if we called
or went into the D.O.R. and told them what has happened? I think not!!!

We're not looking for custody.  The grandparents are willing to take both girls,
and love them and treat them well.  Only one of them is Steves, and it would be
horrible to break them up.

The mother also has two other children, by yet another father.  These two were
taken away from her years ago because she was an unfit mother.

Why don't they sterilize unfit mothers so they don't keep reproducing???

Laura

    Welp. For a moment I kinda thought you might have wanted custody. Mebe
    I didn't read it all. Just the same, grandparents should file it and
    move on the legal aspect of it if they have letter in hand. 
    
    Insofar as you go, the grandparents can ask you for child support if
    the children are your/hubby's.
    
    Anyhow, I wish there was public sterolization too. As so not to pass on
    to future generations, idots of today.:) But, AMA is for it, and ACLU
    is against it.:) Such is life.
    
    

	Good news!  We just heard from the D.O.R. yesterday, and the payments
	will now go directly to the grandparents!  They acted rather quickly on
	this, and we couldn't be more pleased!

	Laura    
    

    Any bets on how long it will take her to go get the kids back?
    fred();

    A few bat of the ol eye lashs, and a couple of sniffles, witha crock
    tear and vola! Mother Marter-dom (sp).... Mine clasped her hands
    together over her pooor heart... ooh dear.... pitty me.:)
    
    I am bouncing a tenant who is pulling that crappie. What a psyco-path!
    She has learned from the best about the wounded woman routine. I bet
    she'll be up for at least a tony, if not an oscar..... 

	Hopefully it'll be never before she gets those two kids back, for a few
reasons.  The D.O.R. has a copy of a letter that she wrote stating she is 
mentally unable to provide proper parenting skills, and will not try to get the
kids back until she has been released from professional treatment, which she
has not even begun yet.  Secondly, she  previously had her first two children
taken away from her on the grounds that she was an unfit mother.  Third, her
mother, who has the kids now says she'll let her daughter have them back "over
her dead body"... Fourth and last, the "boyfriend" she's trying to make it work
with (again) doesn't want the kids around.  Seems as if neither of them are
working, and they don't even have their own place, they're shacking up with
friends of his, four adults in a one bedroom apartment.  I don't think any
judge would recommend that the two girls live in that situation.

	The girls are both in counseling now also, and hopefully they'd take
advice from the counselor.  


Laura

    I hope somone can answer my Question.
    I want to move out of state (From Mass to Ny.) 
    
    I have a restring order against my x,  it states
    he is not to come with in 200 yrs of me or the girls. This order is a
    perement part of my Divorce agrement because of the abuse I had to deal
    with as well as the girls. He has spent time in jail for "stalking" 
    
    As it stands right now, he has No right to see the girls there is NO
    court order giving him any type of visitation to see the girls, but
    there is a order for him to pay child support which he has not done
    since June of this year. I have sole custody of the girls. 
    The girls vist His aunt every other weekend, He might show up sometimes
    he'll go months without showing up. When he does He is in Vialation of
    my order. I know this but I feel very strong about the kids seeing him
    in some sort of " supervised setting" which it is. (The longest he'll
    stay is about 1 hour) 
    I'm going back to court in January for him not paying the support, He
    has been fornd in contemp and was order to re-pay by jan. (I've recived
    nothing to date.) I am planning to move from Mass to up state NY
    What legal rights does he have as a father with NO custody order in
    place?
    Do I have to tell & get permission from the court to move? 
    How would the child support be handle?? 
    I'm in the process of getting the girls school records,dental,birth
    citf ect.. I Want to move to "start over" to put it all behind me to
    live life!! but scared to death he will "Stop" me somehow. 
    I dont want to have to travel back & forth to do this the girls do want
    to see him, but I will only allow it As I have been "Supervised" 
    
    Thanks for any advice in advance,
    Al    

    If you show that you moving to a better job, and that in the final
    decree it does not state that the children are not to be moved from the
    marital home more than xxx miles. There is nothing stoping you. 
    
    If you do something stupid, as to move to prevent the children from
    seeing the kids, you might loose custody. Its called custodial
    interfernce. and if you do not let him know where the children are, its
    called parental kidnapping. And either one can get custody reversed if
    he has the smarts and the willing to do so.
    
    Other than that. There are things called Urisa, and you should contact
    the attorney into which the state and town your planning to move into.
    And get the low down before you make a fatal mistake.
    
    Other things if this is a manover to keep child and parent from each
    other are suits like, 'alienation of efftion with intent to cause
    diress', or such. Its been a while since I have been to a fathers
    meeting. 
    
    Peace, Love, and Surandwrap
    

    With my restraing order in place, he is not supposed to know where I
    am. I'm in no way trying to keep the kids from there father; He see's
    them now and it is a Vialition of that order! but I still let him see
    them in a supervised setting not to hurt him or the children. they want
    to see him i'm not going to interfear with that. To do that to a child
    is ABUSE! As fart a a job goes, I'm not sure I can keep mine. I'm
    looking for work there but nothing has panned out. My boyfriend on the
    other hand has a great job to go to (the reason were moving) 
    
    what -1 said, is what i'm afraid of happing... I dont want to loose
    custody there is nothing in the decree stating I cant move xx miles 
    there is just Nothing in it other then my order keeping him away from
    me and the kids.  I think i'll call the court house, 
    thanks....
    
    Al  
            
    

    Al,
    
    Then dot your 'i's and cross the 't's and its a done deal. Have you
    ever seen the movie with one of the Douglas men, 'Standing Up'? 
    
    Peace
    
    

    -1 No i have not.  My scare is what you pointed out about loosing
    custody. He will do anything to hurt me. it's been a year since the
    divorce, and almost 3yrs since I saw him, I just want to make sure i'm
    doing what i have to do in regards to "His Rights" I dont want to start
    a war, I just want to start over...