| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 240.1 | Q's | PCCAD::DINGELDEIN | PHOENIX | Wed Dec 16 1992 12:02 | 1 |
| How old are the two girls?
|
| 240.2 | | AIMHI::RAUH | I survived the Cruel Spa | Wed Dec 16 1992 13:02 | 5 |
| Is the ex doing something naughty like dealing drugs? Having sex with
the farm animals. (sorry to be explicit just trying to get something to
go in the head of Karen). Is the ex sqandering the money on things like
good times, fast cars? Personal cloths? Have you been denied visitation
for no good reasons execpt that they want to be a pain in the tush?
|
| 240.3 | | FXODEV::SEMMEL | | Wed Dec 16 1992 13:55 | 17 |
|
To answer .1 The girls are 7 and 8. I wondered if there
was an age when they were considered old enough to make such a
decision as where they want to live. And to answer .2 That I
know of, she doesn't do drugs, etc.... I have my own opinions on the
farm animals, but I'll keep that to myself for reasons of censorship!
She has denied him access to the kids on a few occasions in the past
due to her mood that day, 2 of which are on record at a local Police
station. And she just generally goes out of her way to make life
difficult. It's her nature. I'd say she could be proven to be a
"poor" mother, but I'm not sure about "unfit". I'd call her that, but
that's only my opinion. And it's obvious that the support money is
getting split up for 6 people instead of the 2 it was intended due to
their career situations - or lack of.
-Karen
|
| 240.4 | can be done, but ain't easy | CSC32::HADDOCK | Don't Tell My Achy-Breaky Back | Wed Dec 16 1992 17:26 | 20 |
|
It's pretty difficult. As a Coloradoan, I am not familiar with PRM
laws. I documented my successful battle in Colorado in note 62.
It can be done, but it's rough. Usually for the kids to have a say
in who they want to live with they have to be something like 12 or
above. As I keep harping on, Document everything. Who, what, when,
where etc. Keep a journal of this. It is admissible in court
(check MASS. law on that thought). And we are _not_ out of the
"mom is best" era yet.
I'd recommend going to the local public or university library and
have the librarian in the reference section help you look up the
Mass. laws one child custody and change of custody. Won't cost
you anything, but should give you a starting point.
If she is denying visitation, use the journal and other evidence
and witnesses to have her held in contempt. This will not go good
for her if/when it comes to custody.
fred();
|
| 240.5 | ? | PCCAD::DINGELDEIN | PHOENIX | Thu Dec 17 1992 16:11 | 9 |
| The legal age that a minor can actually request to live with either
parent is 14 in Mass.
Unfortunately the system is not concerned with who is the best parent.
Once custody is granted during the divorce it is a monumental effort to
reverse the decision. Only proving abuse or neglect will give you a
chance. So if you have solid evidence of gross negligence, physical
abuse or something along these lines your labor of love will be
rewarded with court costs,frustration and a good dose of pain.
|
| 240.6 | One who has made it in Mass. | AKOCOA::BROWN_K | KEN BROWN DCC/CIS DESKTOP CONSULTANT | Thu Dec 17 1992 16:20 | 23 |
|
As everyone states it is difficult, extremely difficult. But the
good news is it can be done. All it takes it patience, time and a
whole lot of money for legal and court fees.
I received custody of my children two years ago, and went through
all the pitfalls and mental set of the Massachusetts Probata/Family
Courts could dish out. And let me put it bluntly, we are not even
close to the "moms are the correct way to go." mentality.
I would follow Mr. Haddock's advice about documenting. It is
definitely a plus when you go through the process. It would help
to get an independant psychological opinion on the progress of the
children. Q's from Dan Dingeldein should be addressed and handled.
Above all, is it in the best interests of the children, as this is
what the court will be asking.
Just as a side note, there are more gotchas within the legal
system within the State of Massachusetts than you could guess at.
Make sure you feel comfortable with the lawyers you are working
with.
Ken Brown
|
| 240.7 | good advice | FXODEV::SEMMEL | | Sun Dec 20 1992 02:34 | 9 |
|
Well, thanks to all for the experienced responses. I'm well familiar
with the stone-age mentality of Massachusetts when it comes to
children, parenting, etc.... Sounds like that alone could significant
hurt the odds of success. Well, lots more, as you've all said... time,
thought, and investigation seem to be the next step.
thanks again,
-K
|
| 240.8 | | AIMHI::RAUH | I survived the Cruel Spa | Tue Jan 19 1993 14:52 | 5 |
| Karen,
How are the stone aged folks of Mass doing? YOu getting anywhere
besides frustrated? Has the ex done anything good lately like smoke
roadkill infront of the kids?:)
|