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Conference quokka::non_custodial_parents

Title:Welcome to the Non-Custodial Parents Conference
Notice:Please read 1.* before writing anything
Moderator:MIASYS::HETRICK
Created:Sun Feb 25 1990
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:420
Total number of notes:4370

239.0. "Advice Needed" by ODIXIE::WASHINGTONJ () Tue Nov 17 1992 12:02

    Has anyone had this situation occur to them?
    
    My husband and I are in the middle of a child support/custody battle. 
    Our daughter (my step-) is 3 years old.  We have reasons to believe
    that she has been touched unproperly by her mothers boyfriend.  The
    reason is that, this is what she told us.  There was an investigation
    and because the examination did not occur until three weeks after the
    incident, nothing was found.  Because we asked our Daycare not to allow
    the boyfriend to pickup our daughter and to advise us of when he
    dropped her off and not her mother, the mother went and acquired an
    injunction prohibiting my husband from seeing his daughter or from
    having any contact with her until court date.  We have managed to get
    the court dated moved from Dec. 10 to Nov. 25 and we are still trying
    to get an emergency hearing on the matter.  The mother flatly lied to
    get this injunction by saying that my husband has in the past acted
    violently towards her and that she was now afraid for her life and her
    daughter's.  We have several witnesses on our side who are willing to
    testify to her constant lying and apparent mental unstability.
    
    WE are at our wits end and the system does not seem to want to hear
    both sides.
    
    Juanita
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239.1need Evidence, not openion.CSC32::HADDOCKDon't Tell My Achy-Breaky BackTue Nov 17 1992 16:1322
    
    What counts in Court is not the _truth_ but what you can _prove_.
    EVIDENCE.  Unless there is hard evicece to her lying.  Unless there
    is _expert_ openion as to her mental condition,  IT DOESN'T MATTER.
    Other peoples _openion_ of her will likely not count.  Anything that
    happened that is not directly related to the case _doesn't matter_
    (in court anyway).
    
    What you need is EVIDENCE and TESTIMONY.  Personal logs and journals
    are evidence, so DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT.  Write down _everything_
    that happens.  What, when, where, etc.  You need WITNESSES that can go 
    into court and state FACTS, not OPENION.  Witnesses that can and will 
    state "on this date at this time tis happened". Especially witnesses 
    that your daughter stated that she had been touched.  Witnesses that 
    can state that they've _never_ seen your husband violent, especially 
    with his daughter, and he _never_ treated her in an inappropritate manner.
    
    I'm not trying to be nasty here, although what I've written up until
    now may seem so.  I want you to be workiing on things that _will_
    help.  Not on things that may well be tossed right out of court.
    
    fred();
239.2AIMHI::RAUHI survived the Cruel SpaWed Nov 18 1992 13:503
    Get an injunction against the boyfriend. Esp if you have reason to
    believe. And try to have someone help you watch to see if the beau
    picks up the daughter.