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Conference quokka::non_custodial_parents

Title:Welcome to the Non-Custodial Parents Conference
Notice:Please read 1.* before writing anything
Moderator:MIASYS::HETRICK
Created:Sun Feb 25 1990
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:420
Total number of notes:4370

230.0. "A Cry for Help! Bigtime!" by PCCAD::DINGELDEIN (PHOENIX) Fri Sep 11 1992 18:22

Cross-Posted from Blended Families

This lady and her man are in a world of hurt. I know there's a lot of people
in this conference who care and may be able to support these people. 

SAHQ::WAINWRIGHT                                     30 lines   9-SEP-1992 15:33
                               -< Helped needed >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Dan,
    
    Thanks for your note. I am usually a read only, but I am desperate for
    help. My husband is behind on his child support, it is a very long
    story, but he has suffered greatly from his ex-wife, his last lawyer
    and the court systems. He has gone to jail two times, once was because
    he was only ONE day late with ONE child support payment. We have since
    hired a new lawyer and now 4,200 dollars and several hearing
    postponements we were told yesterday that there is a possiblity that
    he may go to jail again anyway! He has not seen his son in almost 4
    years, his ex has been found in contempt of court, but she has not
    spent ONE day in jail! Our new lawyer actually told us it depends
    on how the judge feels that day as to what action he will take! 
    
    I have been divorced for 5 1/2 years to my first husband, he has not
    ever payed any regular child support, he has seen his kids when he
    feels like it (maybe once every 2 years) he is 40,000 dollars behind in
    child support and has never spent one day in jail! Something is very
    wrong with our system!
    
    What I would like to know is if you think NOM could help us with our
    current problem? I have considered writing every radio and television
    station, the state capitol, our local newspapers and anyone else who
    may be willing to listen and help make people realize what is happening
    to the divorced men in our country. MY HUSBAND IS NOT A CRIMINAL AND
    DOES NOT BELONG IN JAIL! 
    
    Any help you can give will be greatly appreciated!
    
    ...Pat
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230.1AIMHI::RAUHI survived the Cruel SpaFri Sep 11 1992 18:4519
    If he has been arrested for being late by a day, then you better look 
    up the default days, and I am sure its more than a day and file
    a civil suit against the arresting office, town, and file a civil
    suit of "Intentional Eflection of Emotional Destress" agaist the
    opposing camp. 
    
    The other good thing to do, every time you get a letter from the
    lawyers, opposing camp, court, or you generate one yourself. Take
    it and file it in a three ring loose leaf binder. This will give
    you a great history and paper trail of whats the what. So if your
    civil rights are being violated. Vola! You got em by the shortest
    hairs known to man kind!:)
    
    Second, becare full of your attorney, some of them are giving great
    lip service for your cause as they pocket money that you give them.
    And if you got one, watch out! Ditch em and find someone better thru
    that mens suport group. 
    
    Good Luck
230.2CSC32::HADDOCKDon't Tell My Achy-Breaky BackMon Sep 14 1992 16:1522
    
    I cannot really speak for nom, but NOM will probably not be able to 
    help with your particular problem.  Most mens groups tend to work
    more in a generall direction.  This is the big problem in getting
    support for such groups, as people are usually mostly interested
    in help for their particlar problem.
    
    You can file a complaint against your lawyer and ex-lawyers in
    reguards to whether or not they are looking out for _your_ interests
    as you paid them to do.  I warn you, however, that "service performed"
    is usually pretty loosly interpreted by the watchdog groups.  Many
    lawyers, however, will try to work with you to resolve the issue
    withoug having to put up with an investigation into their actions. 
    
    I agree with George.  You may want to go look up the laws yourself
    and file civil suit against the opposing camp for "intentional
    infliction of emotional distress" depending on what the laws say.
    May want to include the judge in your suit.  If notheing else, it
    will get this particular judge off your case.  The next judge will
    not be so anxious to play fast and loose with the law.
    
    fred();
230.3State repsPLOUGH::KINZELMANPaul KinzelmanMon Sep 14 1992 18:549
I don't know where you live, but it'd also be good to contact your state
rep and senator. Many of these guys don't have any idea what's really
happening. I've been hung up on (Barbara Gray, Framingham) and ignored
(Lois Pines) when I've called to ask about their support of the probate
guidelines. Ask them what you should do and don't let them off the hook
easily. What speaks to these clowns is lots of phone calls and letters
from irate voters. It may not solve your immediate problem but it will
let the legislators know there's a problem and that's where it ultimately
needs to be solved.
230.4Sounds like she needs inputESBLAB::KINZELMANPaul KinzelmanThu Sep 17 1992 13:308
I just spoke to Rob Gill, representative of Sen Lois Pines. He basically
said that it's an issue that's not important to her because she does not
hear from any constituents on this issue. He claims that she's interested
in fairness. Might be good if those folks that have been having problems
in Mass would let her know directly of their personal horror stories so that
she can no longer claim that she never hears about any problems. Who
knows? Maybe she would do something.
Her phone is 617-722-1639.