Conference quokka::non_custodial_parents

    If I understand you have custody 1/2 of the time. I beleive you would
    figure child support by taking the infamous guidline formula and
    calculate the annual amount, divide by two, and then spread payments out
    per week or per month. of course you could avoid the guidlines by
    agreeing between the parties. The goal in these situations is to avoid
    going in front of a judge and having him/her decide. they can do almost
    anything they want. do th best you can to negotiate with her, have an
    agreement written up and have it filed with the coart. GOOOD LUCK!!!
    
    	dan d.

	
		1. If you earn more you will have to pay. 
		2. If 1 is true then if your male......
		3. You will pay more than fair most likely. There are no hard
		ground rules here. In general it will cost almost as much
		as her having full custody.

    How can I win or what kind of info would the judge like to here. She
    had move 4 time in the past 1.5 yrs could not keep a job (layoff).Not trying
    to find a job.She also get into street fights, telling my oldest to
    fight back is the only way. EX- painting a pretty picture to my oldest
    how good it would be stay with her. But I know she only going after the
    child support. As a father and remarried how can I tell my oldest
    without hurting her that my ex- is only doing it for the money. And
    how do I convence the judge because this state (MA) 99.99% is for the
    mother. If Digital have to get rid of more people and I fall in that
    problem meaning getting layoff would ex get half of my package?
    

    re .3
    
    not half but same percentage as you're paying now. 
    
    the judge may or may not listen. even if he does he uses "in the best
    interest of the child" to ignore all the haggling between you and your
    x.
    
    your daughter through time will draw her own opinions about the two of
    you. stoop to her level and you're not giving your daughter much to
    look up to. you cannot explain irrational acts (OR IRRATIONAL LAWS!)
    with rational thinking. if she drags you back in you may want to file a
    complaint of your own with the child welfare department. probably
    nothing will come of it but who knows. good luck!
    
    dan d. 
    
    

 We have joint physical 50/50 custody of our two girls and 
 although there is no guideline for determining support when
 true 50/50 joint custody exists in NH the Judge granted my ex $100.00
 per week due to the disparity in our respective income levels.
 This $100.00 a week is $28.00 less a week than if she had full
 custody. Proir to our seperation the ex worked 40+ hours a week
 now she works approx. < 20 hours a week. Do I think she's going
 to get a full time job so that the child support will be reduced,
 Definately Not! Why should she? She is taking in more money now
 with her part time job and the child support than when she worked
 full time. Will the court require her to seek full time employment?
 Why should they I'm the one who is paying her not the State they
 could care less. Is this a tough pill to swallow? It sure is but
 thats the way the system is currently working. I was told by my
 Lawyer that I was lucky and should be thankful I didn't have to pay
 the maximum. So adjust your lifestyle to live with your decrease in
 income and be thankful that you can still play a 50% role in the
 raising of your children. Don't Worry Be Happy! Nothing will cause
 more grief in her life than knowing you are happy in yours. Besides
 her lack of good employment will only hurt her once she has no choice
 but to find a full time position. Someday maybe she'll realize that.

 Good Luck!

  Neil....

    check this out I used to pay $25.00 child support and $50.00 for
    babysiting.EX- layoff get a check from the unemployment for $263.00 a
    week. EX- takes me to court for more money.Well EX- wins now EX- get
    125.00 a week. When my two girls are with me for the week I have to pay
    out of my packit additional money for babysitting and expense. While
    going broke I have also other expense to pay.
    EX- get this money when EX- do'nt even have the two girls.I love my two
    girl very much. The question is how can I give them what they need when
    they are with me? The EX- will not want to compremise that when EX- have
    the girls that I will pay her child support (125.00 every other week).
    Since she does not what to talk about it it seem that she will have
    my kids and i have to see them in the weekened and holidays.It seems
    that share custody don't mean sh*t in MA.
    
    j.t

The only way to fix the Mass problem is to change the law - please see
note 202 for an org that's trying to do that. The org contains lots of
people in the same kind of boat who help each other out with ideas and
names of good/bad lawyers to use, as well as legislative lobbying to
fix the laws.

    .6 Your not alone. This is typical crappie that happens to men. 

    Now since the ex- is getting 125.00wk now ex- and her lawyer wants me
    to give up my share custody. I said no way. can there take my share
    custody and award ex- primary custody or do they need to prove that i
    am not a good father to my kids. Since I only see them only on the
    weekened because I can not pay additional expense to kept my kids every
    other week because she getting child support every week. Well I guess I
    will have to go to court to see if they will let me pay child support
    only when she have them.If not that mean that she will keep them.
    	My oldest will be 12yr old would the court listen to her feeling
    about what she wants?how to be with?or she does not have any choice at
    all?
    
    jim 

    In the PRM, <peoples republic of mass> they can do what ever they want
    to do and get away with it. Your job, stop em cold in the tracks.

    Big question is HOW!!!   any additional response would be great.
    
    jim