Conference quokka::non_custodial_parents

    >  ...find a good fathers/secondmothers/grandparents suport
    >  group.
    
    Always good advice, no matter what the problem is.  Probably especially
    good in these circumstances!
    
    >  The best aggresssive lawyer
    >  is yourself for you know the case material much better than councle.
    >  You have the fire in the belly to see it through when things get tuff.
    
    Here I beg to differ.  While I share the frustration that comes from
    lack of faith in an attorney's dedication to my case vs. dedication to
    making big bucks, I have to believe there are still some attorneys who
    have the best interest of their clients as a priority.  What we need to
    do is identify those attorneys and get the word out to people who need
    them.
    
    Serving as your own lawyer requires something that not all of us have 
    -- a willingness AND ABILITY to learn how to find your way around the 
    court system, laws and precedents, tactics, etc. etc.  For myself I 
    tend to agree with ??? who said that only fools serve as their own 
    doctors and lawyers.  I can't readily tell whether Lesa's SO is more 
    like me or more like RAUH.  But I certainly would be careful before 
    taking the advice to represent myself!
    
    Karen

    Hi Again!
    
    Thanks for the advice so far...  
    
    The reason I asked for an AGGRESSIVE lawyer is because my SO is
    generally not very outspoken, kinda shy and would get CREAMED by not
    having a lawyer.  He got his divorce originally without a lawyer and
    feels really bad for not having had one then...  If he had had a good
    lawyer then, I think he would have gotten custody.  He later did get a
    lawyer, but he didn't feel like she was especially good.  He KNOWS 
    himself well enough now to realize that to not have a lawyer would be
    suicide.
    
    Again, we are looking for someone with a good track record when it
    comes to resolving custody/visitation issues for men.
    
    Thanks again!  
                                                        
    Lesa

    George,
    
    I really appreciate your advice...  However, my note was a request
    for the names of lawyers who have successfully represented men...
    As of yet, I haven't received 1 name either in this note or through
    the mail...
    
    There must be *some* success stories out there!
    
    Thanks!
    
    Lesa

    Sorry Lesa, I was just giving you a success story that did not have a
    costly lawyer involved. But I will delete the other note cause that
    isn't what your were looking for.
    

    George,
    
    I don't want to seem ungrateful and apologize for seeming so!  I just 
    was really feeling an urgent need to narrow down the plethora of names 
    in the phonebook to find some lawyers who were known to be successful...  
    My SO is in need of legal advice ASAP.  Thanks to a couple of noters, 
    I now have some names!
    
    I really respect those of you who have successfully represented
    yourselves in court.  My SO and I talked about your successes but
    after giving it some thought, he decided he really wouldn't feel
    confident enough going it alone...  I think *he* made a wise decision
    for *himself* as I think *you* did for *yourself*!
    
    Anyway, best of luck to anyone fighting for their kids!!!
    
    Lesa (once one of the kids! ;-) )
                                  
    

    Lesa,
    
    	Sorry if I seem in haist. I don't want to force my ideas on anyone.
    So I felt that with your last responce that I was, so, IMHO, I deleted
    as so not be the wrong person with the wrong thoughts. 
    
    	Glad you have found them, or one. Watch out, I have had two of them
    in my case. Both good people. Both sold me a bad sale of goods for a 
    impoverished price. I am now working a second job to hold down the fort
    and its no fun. 
    
    	I HAVE gotten the sales of how potent they are in the business. How 
    compident that they were. But when it came down to executing the
    motions, both gave some real bad advice. You will walk into their well
    polished offices. With the law books on shelf, the secreatry, all the
    good trimmins of a car dealership. Only to find that when you put your
    peddle to the metal, you find yourself with a lemon. And I have found
    out tooo many of them that are like this vs those who can promise what
    they tell you to get the shoot money.
    
    	I have been whored out till I was out of money then set loose on
    the streets like many others. Ask Fred Haddock. I am just conserned in a
    time and day where men have no rights in our court system that you
    might be throwing your money away. That your relationship would be 
    jepordised because of the lack of money in the house hold. Or to find
    that you SO becomes so frustrated because your newly hired attorney
    cannot do what he/she promised. 
    
    	There is a saying in our group that happens to these men when they 
    are reluctant to go with a suport group. The saying is that they
    haven't been f*cked enough. 
    
    Good Luck and IF I can help write me off line.
    
    George
    
    	

    
    I don't need a lawyer to defend me or anything, but I want to consult
    with one prior to marrying my fiance, as he has an ex-wife and two
    children that we have on the weekends.  They have joint custody, but
    neither of them earns much, and I want to protect myself as much as
    possible just in case it's necessary.  I'd like some advice on how best
    to protect my assets, and how much protection I can actually do
    (probably very little).  I'm looking to keep the expense of this
    consultation down also, I dont' need the absolute best, just someone
    extremely familiar with the laws.....
    
    I live in the Worcester area, and work in the Littleton MA. area.
    anything near either would be fine.
    
    thankqueue,
    
    -Jody

    Jody,
    
    The worst thing for you to have happen is she, the ex, ups the child
    support. And although this is not part of the guide lines. Most often
    it happens. If you and you beau break it off. You walk off scott free.
    And will owe them nothing, less you get yourself involved with
    marritial property. And IF you get behind in support payments, I have
    seen a case where the opposing camp actually put a lein against the
    marritial property till it was payed. And maybe, she could have gone
    one more step, and had the property sold off for the money owed in
    the lein........
    
    

    re .9
    
    Not knowing any lawyers in your area,  I would suggest looking in
    the Yellow Pages under "divorce and custody" or "family law".  Many
    lawyers will not charge anything for an initial consultation.
    
    Also, most Yellow Pages have a listing for "lawyer referral".  Or
    if all else fails contact the Bar Association.
    
    fred();