Conference quokka::non_custodial_parents

11.0. "Here's one for mothers" by CSC32::K_JACKSON (Better living through alchemy!) Mon Mar 05 1990 15:26

 

				A Special Creation


						- author unknown

   When the good Lord was creating Mothers, He was into His sixth day of 
overtime when an angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling
around on this one."

   And the Lord said, "Have you read the specs on this order?  She has to be
completely washable, but not of plastic; have 180 moveable parts, all 
replaceable; run on black coffee and leftovers, have a lap that disappears
when she stands up, a kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a
disappointing love affair; and six pairs of hands."

   The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pair of hands!  Lord, no 
way!"

   "It's not the hands that causing me problems," said the Lord.  "It's the
three pair of eyes that Mothers have to have."

   "That's on the standard model?", asked the angel.

   The Lord nodded.  "One pair that sees through closed dooors when she asks,
'What are you kids doing in there?' when she already knows, another pair in the
back of her head that sees what she shouldn't, but what she has to know, and,
of course, the ones here in the front are so she can look at a child when he
goofs and say, 'I understand and I love you' without so much as uttering a
word."

   "Lord," said the angel, touching His sleeve gently, "Come to bed...
Tommorrow..."

   "I can't," said the Lord.  "I'm so close to creating something so close to
myself.  Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick, can feed a 
family of six on a pound of hamburger, and get a 9-year old to stand under a
shower."

   The angel circled the model of the Mother very slowly.  "It's too soft."
she sighed.

   "But tough!" said the Lord excitedly.  "You cannot imagine what this Mother
can do or endure!"

   "Can it think?"

   "Not only think, but it can reason and compromise," said the Creator.

   Finally, the angel bent over the and ran her finger across the cheek.
"There's a leak," she pronounced.  "I told you that you were trying to put too
much into this model, Lord."

   "It's not a leak," said the Lord, "It's a tear."

   "What's it for?" asked the angel

   "It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride."

   "You are a genius!" said the angel.

   The Lord looked somber.  "I didn't put the tear there," He said...