Conference quark::mennotes

    I could definitley cope with being back at primary school.
    The really good thing is you don;t have any worries unless you had an 
    awful form tutor and you hadn't done your homework!
    
    I am an assistant cub leader and all the lads seem so carefree and
    enjoy themselves easily. Still that doesn't mean at all that adults
    dont have a right to revert to childhood and act like that for a bit.
    

    	The pressure on kids today is rough. My son is sorta an outsider
    because he doesn't care for sports. He's a sensitive, caring, curious
    10 year old. He likes paying basketball but has no interest in other
    sports and sometimes he goes for days without male friends. I will say
    that he's popular as all get out with the girls. More than a few times
    he's been the only boy at a birthday party so there may more to not
    being a jock than meets the eye. 
    	I know he worries alot more about the world he lives in than I did
    when I was 10. He's concerned about the rainforest, animals becoming
    extinct and the environment. 
    	I don't think I'd want to be 10 again. Knowing what I know now and
    being 10 would be worse because I'd have less power to make changes and
    that would be frustrating as hell. 
    	I would like to be 20 again tho.......
    
    K

    I will concure to the 20 again vs 10. Seems like there are too many
    things of life that are missed because your not old enough to
    understand and your always dreaming of being 20, have a fine job, and a
    fine or fast car. 

    Remembering 10 is like remembering being a member of a missing link, or
    a escape of the pra-mode-ial (sp) swamps.:)

    No, I would not want to go back to being 10 yrs. old again for
    anything.  I think being an adult is a lot more fun than being a kid. 
    As a kid, you're at the mercy of your parents lifestyle, and at the
    mercy of your teachers (petty tyrants) at school.  The bottom line is I
    would never want to go back to having no money, no car, no sex (!), and
    not being able to decide how late I will stay up at night and what I
    will or will not eat, and what I will or will not watch on TV.  Can you
    imagine not being able to walk into a bar and order a drink?  Good
    lord.  When it comes right down to it, children have very few rights. 
    When I was a kid, I couldn't wait to grow-up, so I could at least
    attempt to do what I wanted!
    
    I'd like to spend about 50 yrs. being 21 again. though!  That would be
    worth re-living....again and again and again.
    
    
    Lorna
    
    

	My mother died the year I was ten. I wouldn't do that year over
	again for anything.

	20? Now that was a good year but the best was 22. The year I courted
	my wife.

			Alfred

    Not for me... at that age I had pretty little going on for me.  Could
    not go out, could not stay up late, could not travel... I didn't know
    what love was, and had no children or husband.  (I cannot imagine my
    life, today, without all that). My best years??? from 18 up to now!
    the worst year??? last year, (I lost my sister...) 
    
    Ana
    

Funny Story time...

When I was in fifth grade, (11 or 12..) I used to sit in the second
seat from the front of the second row....  One of myh buds ("Danny"),
sat towards the back of the first row....  We used to wing spit balls at 
each all the time, (used the casing of Bic pens) and for some
unsolved mystery, we never got bagged..  We had a teach, (Mrs. Mclean)
from Jamacia, and I think she was just too cool to let us know
she was onto us...

Well, on morning, I take two direct hits in the back of the head during
Math.  (Obviously Danny had been practicing his shot)  Well the "Code" 
thing was, fire back, but sitting in the second seat, of the second
row, I was a little exposed....  But not to be out-done, I packed a
missle into my Bic Pen case,,, "Danny" was etched on the front, oh,
I was gonna nail him...

So loaded for bear, and ready to fire, I wait for just the right second
when Mrs. Mclean was distracted...  Fiannly, my window of oppurtunity;
while the teacher chalks and example on the board, in one fluent move
I turn,  raise my weapon, place it to my lips, aim,,, and blow "Uhhh"....
... damn, it's stuck!....  (Danny's nearly wetting himself at this
point...)

So I nonchalantly turn around, and within three seconds, 'whack...'  
hit number three arrives at the back of my head... 
"ooooooooo I'll KILL him!!!"

but ofcourse, I'm still jammed ,,,  So, again, quite nonchalantly I try
to unjam my tube....  (and this is where innocence is sometimes bliss,
and usually stupid...)  While facing the front of the room, I
innocently put the tube back to my lips, and start pusing all
the air I'm worth into the pen casing,,,,,,,,  after about 10 seconds
of looking like a blow fish, "Phoooom"  out comes the spit ball, screaming 
through the air, like a harm missle........  

(and I'm not making this up..) it hits Mrs MClean sqaure in the forearm!

Well, naturally, she sees the spit ball, and of course want's a name..

Trying to look innocent can work sometimes, but not when Jeanne Weafer
sits next to you..... "HE DID IT!" while pointing an accusing finger
at me...  ("Oh-o...   this one's gonna hurt..").

Well, to make a long story short, I admited to the crime...  
(all I wanted at this point was to take my medicine like a man....) 


Now the usual punishment, was public ridicule..  And since Mrs. Mclean
didn't have a dunce cap and stool she used the next best thing...  

The Waste basket..

So, up I go, and take my place, sitting in the waste basket..  If you
can picture a 11 year old kid, with his but inside a waste baskte, with
my legs and body sticking out, I guess it can be a pretty funny picture.
And to be sure, the class is in hysterics, (especially Danny, who will 
soon be needing oxygen...)

I'm thinking, o.k. this isn't bad, a few laughs, and I'm back in my
seat....  WRONG....  See I had forgot abount something.. 

Now put your self in my place, and ask yourself:

what's the worse thing that could have possibly happened at this point ??? 

My Mother, (who spend a few days a week working at the school cafe) 
knocks on the door, and walks into the room...!  

I don't know what reason she gave for doing this, but I know what
ever it was, it was a lie......  But I'll never-ever forget the look on
face...  

needless to say, I had some high explaining to do later that day...

    I wouldn't go back a day, or a year.  (Of course, as a product of my
    culture, I wouldn't mind *looking* 25-35  ;) 
    
    Really enjoyed childhood, endured adolescence, and have found adulthood
    so far to demand a mixture of endurance and joy.  Some past events were
    absolutely wonderful - early years of marriage, having babies (OK, some
    endurance called for there), rearing children (OK, *lots* of
    endurance).  Adult experiences include seeking God, defining goals, 
    developing philosophy, friendships (!), learning, learning, learning,
    grieving (one of my children was born with a sever birth defect),
    learning, trusting, hoping, suffering cancer, recovering, suffering
    depression, recovering, taking and giving...  
    
    All this has led not only to knowledge and experience, but some wisdom. 
    It's the wisdom I wouldn't be willing to lose.  In fact, I wouldn't
    give up wrinkles, gray hair, fat, the decrepitness (decrepicy?)
    (decrepitude?) of age if it meant the loss of one iota of experience
    and wisdom.  Easy for me to say; there's not way to make the choice -
    life appears to be one-way...  :)  
    
    aq 

    Go back to an age from which I'd have to live through Viet Nam again,
    and risk getting called up and shipped over there as cannon fodder? 
    Not on your life - or, more accurately, mine.  No, I didn't go, and
    knowing what I know today I will eternally be grateful that I escaped
    that particular folly of my not-so-wise government leaders.

    
    I despised ages 11-18.
    I would never go back there.
    Ages 5-7 and 9-10 were cool, though.
    
    -Jody
    

    I think alot of you are forgetting that to be 10 again would mean 
    being TEN again.  That means you would not be a 10 year old adult.
    i.e. an adult mind trapped in a 10 year old body.  By being 10 again
    you would have the knowledge and perspective on the World of a 10 year
    old which means you wouldn't miss being 21 because you had never BEEN
    21.  
    
    I think I would rather be about 13 again, (AH the joys of puberty).
    
    Jeff

    re .11, when I was a kid I wanted to be a grown-up, though.  Even
    though I hadn't been one yet, I was able to tell from movies, tv, books
    and life that most grown-ups appeared to have far more freedoms than I
    had as a child.  Also, I absolutely detested grade-school.  I could not
    even begin to find the words to describe how much I hated grade school. 
    Plus, I hated being expected to act like a kid.  
    
    When I was 10 yrs. old I wanted to be able to wear make-up and
    high-heels and grown-up clothes and go out on dates and drive a car,
    etc., etc, and I couldn't because I was a little kid.  It was
    frustrating.
    
    Lorna
    

	Hi Jody.  What happened at age 8 ??

	/Eric

    
    What's this about all the freedoms one has as an Adult.
    
    You're still a slave to a system (The state instead of your folks)!
    
    When I was ten I saw most of Europe for free. Every Hotel we stayed in
    had a pool, and loads of kids to hang out with. I went to
    Disney Land and never put my hand in my pocket ( Last time I went
    I nearly had to declare myself bankrupt) :-). I had no worries about
    morgage, state of the world, career, sex, appearance etc... I just
    lived every day as it came. Now I can't do anything without worries
    about how I'm going to pay for it. Before my folks did all of this for
    me.
    12 to 20 was a bitch and there is no way on this earth that I would want
    to be a Teenager again. All that hormonal displace going on, not for
    me thank you.
    
    But then you see I'm only 23 anyway, so I haven't even lived half a life
    yet. Maybe the best is yet to come (well lets hope so anyway).
    
    Peter 
     

re: 14

You may find that you actually like your 30's..

I'm having a blast, and still have four years left... 


Rumor has it, some say... 40's are even better.....

Hmmm....  I don't know, no choice but to wait I guess...

    
    I moved to a different state in the middle of a school semester.
    
    Lost all my friends, was rejected a lot, felt like a martian.
    you know, the usual.
    
    -Jody
    

Thanks Jody.  Yeah, rejected alot and feeling like a martian.  That happened
to me even without moving to another state.  Those grades 6 - 10 were really
bad for me...


/Eric

    Fifth grade was when we read Homer's Odyssey in school.  I still
    remember those wonderful books with the illustrations in purple ink.  I
    loved reading that book.
    
    It was fifth (or sixth?) when my teacher demonstrated making nylon. 
    She mixed two substances and voila - made a large glop.  My pal Rosalyn
    said, "You mean my Mama puts that on HER legs?!?"
    
    In one of those grades we had our first boy-girl party at the room over
    the garage at Geoffrey Lardiere's.  The boys went wild and started
    tearing down the decorations.  Several parental interventions were
    needed.  I remember sitting on a sofa with several other girls, feeling
    very uncomfortable and self-conscious in my nylons and garter belt. 
    Eventually we did dance, both fast and slow.  Wooo.
    
    10 years old was not bad, though my hormones started running and I got
    very confused.
    
    Laura
    

    re .14, of course, adults are not *completely.*  We have to follow the
    laws of the land, and most of us have to work for a living, and we can
    only buy what we can afford.  However, compared to children I still
    think adults have much more freedom.  At least now I can stay up as
    late as I want, watch whatever I want on TV, see whatever movies I
    want, eat or not eat whatever I want, swear if I feel like it -
    expressly forbidden in my family! :-) - drink if I want, have pets
    without getting my parents permission, go where I want to go on
    vacation if I can afford it, decide how I will spend my disposable
    income instead of having my parents dictate it.  
    
    Also, I am amazed when you say you had no worries as a child.  I
    actually had more worries as a child than I have as a 43 yr. old woman. 
    I feel much more in control of things now than I did then.  As a child
    it seemed that people were always trying to make me do things I was
    afraid to do.  I was painfully shy and used to dread having to answer
    questions in the classroom.  I had difficulty making friends, and went
    through all sorts of trouble trying to find kids to play with at recess
    so I wouldn't get picked on as an outsider.  Sometimes I succeeded and
    sometimes I didn't.  I died a thousand deaths everytime I had to give
    an oral report in class.  I was so petrified it's amazing I never
    killed myself or ran away to get out of it.  I hated gym class and went
    through all sorts of trouble trying to get out of it, so I wouldn't be
    picked on and humiliated for not being athletic.  I was always the
    littlest kid in my class - 1st grade through senior year, and so
    bullies were always trying to push me around, and I was always having
    to try to eithe avoid them or stand-up for myself.
    
    On another note, as a child during the cold war, sometimes I couldn't
    sleep at night for fear that nuclear bombs would be dropped on us in
    the night.  I, also, worried excessively over house fires, and of
    coming down with leukemia (which still always killed kids back in the
    '50's and early '60's).  I was afraid my parents would die and I'd be
    an orphan.  I don't think I slept during the Cuban Missle Crises, I was
    so afraid we'd all end up dead in a nuclear war.   *sigh*
    
    Suffice it to say, that, as a little kid, I was an emotional wreck, and
    have calmed down *considerably*!!   :-)
    
    Also, you say that you traveled all over the place for free as a kid. 
    You were fortunate.  My parents didn't have much money and the only
    place we ever went was camping on the Maine Coast for 2 weeks every
    summer.  Other than that, we stayed home all the time, and we lived way
    out in the country and there were hardly any other kids to play with. 
    On reflection, I think I spent most of my childhood either drawing
    pictures, reading novels or wandering around the woods alone.  I
    grew-up 45 miles from Boston, and never even went there til I was 16
    yrs. old.  My parents didn't like the city.  They just liked to stay
    home and work in the garden and sit in the yard and read the newspaper. 
    It was boring.  There were some good times, and my folks were nice. 
    But....I like to go places.  I like to go shopping, go movies, rock
    concerts, out to eat, to the beach, to antique shows, to museums.  Now,
    that I'm an adult I can do those things.  As a kid I couldn't.
    
    So, maybe your individual childhood was wonderful, but not everyone's
    is.  I have had much more fun as an adult than I ever did as a kid!!!!
    
    Lorna
    

Lorna, thanks for sharing about the fear of nuclear war.  I remember that.

Yes, back in 60's I used to worry about nuclear war too.  I think during Cuban
missle crisis I was crying in bed one morning, and my mother just said "Stop it,
there's not going to be an atomic war".  I was born in '52 (I'm 41 now), so
I must have been about 10.  I no longer worry much about nuclear war any more,
but I still have some fear of death, not imminent death but mere the guaranteed
eventuality of it.  Meditation and 12-step meetings have helped alleviate this
somewhat though.


/Eric

    In '61 or '62 I wrote a school essay about "What I Would Do in a
    Nuclear War."  I said I'd rather be one of the first dead.  Quite a
    revolutionary notion in those days of air-raid shelters.  I remember
    the shelters sold by the swimming pool dealers along Route 22 in New
    Jersey.  A very eerie time, and I sensed we weren't getting the full
    story.  I was right.
    
    Laura
    

    Our standing macabre joke back then was that you'd be lucky if you could
    say afterward, "What was that?"  Then we learned about nuclear winter.

    I loved that schoolyard joke:
    
    If the sirens sound, get under your desk, bend your head to your knees,
    and kiss your #*&*( goodbye!
    
    Kids do manage to cut through the bull.
    
    :-)
    
    Laura

    Re .23
    
    Yes, I remember that one.  The official phrase was "Duck and cover."

    I can relate to allot of what you say Lorna (in .19).  Speaking in
    front of the class was a terrifying experience for me too.  I too
    would do almost anything to get out of it. Being 'sick' only worked
    for a day or two, then you had to do your speech virtually solo when
    you got back.  You could only be 'sick' so long and the teacher always
    remembered you hadn't done yours yet.  Grade school for me was
    relatively easy compared to High School.  High School was a nighmare
    of school pressure, peer pressure, parental pressure, and yes, the
    worry that I would get nuked at anytime.  I still don't really believe
    the nuke threat is over.  (There are terrorists crazy enough to let New
    York have it if they could get the bomb, and its only a matter of time
    (and money) before they do).  (I am still amazed we have made it as
    long as we have without Nuke WW III).  At ten I was just beginning to
    'wake up' and see reality for what it really is.  My childhood fantasy
    world was beginning to crumble.

    I absolutely HATED being made to eat food that was gross at school and
    camp.
    
    I think we tend to forget as adults how tough some of the times of our
    childhoods really were. I can't say things are any easier as an adult
    either.... DIFFERENT things are tough now.  Of course there are some
    stable problems which never go away no matter how old we are... the
    fear of death for one.  Back then I thought I could beat the 'system'
    (avoid death somehow).  Now I no longer have the luxury of believing
    that.
    
    The PRICE for the relative freedom we have as adults is the loss of 
    innocence and being accountable for everything we do.

    Lorna, getting to stay up as late as you want has its price... (see the
    line above).
    
    Jeff

    I don't know about being 10 again, but I shall stay 18 as long as
    poss.
    

    re .26, usually it's around 12 months, which my daughter found out in
    Feb. when she turned 19.
    
    Lorna
    

    
    Maybe this could be entered in the Wommannotes Conference as "Would you
    like to be a size 10 again ?" :-)
    
    Peter.

    re .28, well, I, for one, would have trouble relating to it, since the
    largest size I've ever taken is a size 3.
    
    Lorna   (petite feminist)
    
    
    

    	I would love to be ten years old if I was born in 1940. Ten today,
    no thank you. I turned 10 in `81, the beginning of a lousy decade.
    Lousy music, lousy role models, and the beginning of the "I'm not
    responsible for my actions, or present situation, therefore I'll blame
    it all on something that was or is out of my control."
    	This pathetic view of life that many people seem to be taking may
    make them feel good while talking to other saps in their "therapy
    group", but when all the handouts and pity has passed, life goes on and
    surprise, it's not that bad.
    	Get up off the ground, wipe the dirt and blood off your knees, pick
    up your bike, wipe the tears and ride home. It's that easy.
    
    The more I experience, the more I learn and realize that in most
    instances a child's perspective keeps everthing basic and simple.
    In many ways I am still ten years old, I may grow old but, I'll
    never grow up.
    
              Peter