Conference quark::mennotes

This question about the future reminds me of an interesting exercise we
were asked to do years ago in the "More Time" workshop.  First we were asked
to write down

	What is your age ?

So I wrote

	26

Then we were asked

	What year will it be in 10 years ?

So I wrote

	1990

Then

	How old will you be in 10 years ?

I wrote

	36

Then it asked

	Take about ten minutes and write everything you would like to accomplish
	in the next 10 years.  Even the things you might want to do.

This part we were encouraged to really be thorough with.

After that came the surprise, namely:

	What year will it be in 20 years ?  How old will you be ?  Write
	everything you would like to accomplish in the time period 10 years
	to 20 years from now.

This really surprised me !  I had tried to cram everything into 10 years, so
when I was asked to sketch out what I'd like to do during the second 10 years,
I couldn't think of anything.

The whole exercise gave me much more appreciation for the fact that there's
really alot more time available than I realized.

I mean, it just struck me that I had listed all these things I realistically
thought I could accomplish in 10 years, and suddenly I had another 10 years after
that and nothing to do !

Can anyone appreciate what I'm getting at, or is this coming across as babble ?

Thanks.

/Eric

>Looking forward from this point in your life until your end what do you 
>expect your life to be like? Will it get better, worse?

    Both.  The job situation will get much worse.  Government intrusion 
    into private matters will get worse, as will taxation.  On the other 
    hand, I will feel better about myself personally as I become more 
    comfortable with who I am (and therefore with others).

>Do you have specific things you want to accomplish before it gets too late?

    Learn to sail.  Become a better pistol shot.  Go back to Ireland for a 
    visit.  Write some short stories.  Go to a career counselor and find 
    out whether I'm really doing what I want to do (seriously!).  

>Think about YOUR life.  What can you do to make it better in the future?

    Use every minute for something.  Make a plan for every day and write it 
    down.  Throw the television out the window (the little that I watch 
    disgusts me, except for AMC).

>What mistakes have you made that you would not make again?

    I failed to keep in close touch with my parents when my mother was 
    alive.  After she died, I realized I should not make the same mistake 
    with my dad.

    I stayed in a relationship for *years* too long.

    There have been situations in which I have forgotten who is Number One, 
    but they need not be detailed here.

>What one piece of advice would you give to someone if you could just tell 
>them one thing to help them get through their lives?

    Read "Life's Little Instruction Book" by H. Jackson Brown, Jr., ISBN
    1-55853-102-5.  Get the first volume; that's where the gold is.  The 
    book is 4.5"x6" and is usually displayed near the cash registers at 
    bookstores.

    - craig

    
>Looking forward from this point in your life until your end what do you 
>expect your life to be like? Will it get better, worse?

    Have to agree with Craig, I expect a lot to get worse especially in
    the areas of a decrease in personal freedoms and taxation. This is
    particularly frustrating.

    I do believe that my relations with friends and family will largely
    get better though.

>>Do you have specific things you want to accomplish before it gets too late?
>
>    Learn to sail.  Become a better pistol shot.  Go back to Ireland for a 
>    visit.  Write some short stories.  Go to a career counselor and find 
>    out whether I'm really doing what I want to do (seriously!).  

    Except for the trip to Ireland my list is much the same. I do want to
    learn to sail and shoot better. Both are things I've wanted to learn
    for years and years. Writing is also something I've been trying to get
    started with for a while. Perhaps this is the year it will happen.

    I've also been doing a lot of soul searching about staying in computers
    or finding something else do do. I'm still not sure if it's just the
    current work situation or if I really need to make a career change.

    >Think about YOUR life.  What can you do to make it better in the future?

    The first thing I have to do is learn to deal with the stress in my
    life. Once that happens I can move on.


>What mistakes have you made that you would not make again?

    I should have left this job years ago when the moving was easier. I
    will not over stay in one job again. It's too easy to get trapped by
    what's easy and comfortable and find yourself in a situation that is
    no longer easy and comfortable but find that you are not prepared to
    leave it.

>What one piece of advice would you give to someone if you could just tell 
>them one thing to help them get through their lives?

    Believe in God and that saving power of Jesus' death and resurrection.
    I myself would never be able to get through life without that.

    			Alfred

 .0> What one piece of advice would you give to someone if you could just
 .0> tell them one thing to help them get through their lives?
    
     I find that as I get older (wiser?) I seem to be inherently simplifying
     my life and the way I think and feel about things, i.e., look for Truths
     that are simple...  With this in mind, the following tends to represent
     my personal credo at this time of my life:

     I) Attempt to Love other people...

        I think that what we are attempting to achieve is Community and the
        basis for a strong Community is that the members Love one another.
        So, find a reason to Love the other members of your Community and you
        will find the going much easier.

    II) Children represent our future....

        I'm mostly a member of the Read-Only continuum and one of the things
        I find very heartening about members of the Noting Community is that
        sooner or later those people who Love and nurture Children expose
        themselves as such, and, it doesn't matter whether they are male or
        female, liberal or conservative, hetro or homo, etc.  If there is a
        better reason than this for members of a Community to gain consensus
        and to Love one another, I don't know what it is...

   III) Live within your Means and with God's help expand the Means...

        You say there is NO God?  That's OK, I'll try to Love you just the
        same...

    IV) Realize that you are a perpetual student...

        Not only are you a perpetual student but you're always brain-storming
        as well, and you know the rules for brain-storming...

     V) Avoid situations where lawyers need to be involved...

        Look what happens to the Noting Community when the lawyers (pseudo-)
        get involved...  The Next-Unseen key tends to get a work-out!

re .1:  An interesting way to look at things.  The last time I checked the
actuarial tables, my chance of getting all those years from 10 to 20 years
out was significantly different from 1.  So putting the really important
stuff in the coming decade may be a good idea.

>    it get better, worse?

I don't know.  I have frequently made guesses about my future, and most 
of them have been wrong.  I do expect my body to wear down and get sicker; I
can see that happening already.  And I expect my spirit to keep growing.


>    Do you have specific things you want 
>    to accomplish before it gets too late? 

There are no specific things I want.  The general things I want are to get 
closer to my friends, get more comfortable with my self and keep growing.

>    What can you do to make it better in the future? 

Be more aware of the opportunites around me, and more present in my own life.

> What mistakes have you made that you would not make again?

	Devaluing feelings, my own and others.
	Imagining that I am independent.
	Ignoring the real world and people around me.
	Wasting my time and energy.

>    What one piece of advice would you give to someone if you could just tell them
>    one thing to help them get through their lives?

This one is kind of tough.  The "one piece of advice" that each of us needs
is different.  And people often listen most to the advice that they need least.
So what follows is the advice I would give to myself ten years ago, if I thought
that that self would have listened.

Don't judge yourself more harshly than you would your best friend.

    I would like to make sure I eliminate as much as possible repeating
    mistakes I have already made in my past. I would like to learn to live
    one day at a time better and stop hurrying around living for tomorrow,
    because tomorrow never comes.... its always today.
    
    Advice: Remember the law of karma which basically says you get back
    what you give. If you put out negative or evil things that is what
    you will get back, conversely if you put out good and love THAT is
    what you will get back.  If your having serious problems and don't
    know how to mentally get out of depression because of those problems,
    HELP others with THEIR problems, THAT will help lift you out of your
    depression and help your solve your OWN problems too. (The law of
    karma).
    
    Future accomplishment goals: To have learned better to really live the
    above under advice. AND... to learn to love others better.
    
    Jeff

    Better/worse/future:

    Its all relative. It depends on how you measure better and worse. I
    lost my job as an engineer at DEC 3 years ago due to downsizing. Now
    I work in a DEC warehouse.  (I never figured on climbing DOWN the
    ladder after a college education).

    The 'transition' (I hate that word) was tough.

    But now, even though I make about 1/3 less money in the warehouse, and
    at a menial job OTHER areas of my live have more than compensated. i.e.
    my entire family is healthy and we have enough money to still pay the
    bills, I am back in school studying in an area of interest (Marine
    Architecture) I NEVER would have bothered with had I remained employed
    by DEC as an engineer.
    
    Here is a another example: In 1976 I was employed as a counselor at a
    boys' sailing camp.  A horrible thing happened.  On afternoon a pickup
    truck full of boys slid sideways off a dirt road and rolled over into
    a pond.  I was the only one not on the truck because I was walking to
    a boat house and was going to meet the truck down the road. (This all
    happened in 'slow motion').  As I watched from the far side of the pond
    the truck slid down the embankment slowly rolling upside down into the
    water as it slid (because the road gave way under the left wheels).
    
    I remember mostly the love. The love of the boys' in the truck helping
    one another get out as the truck filled with water and sank, my love as
    I ran to help, AND the love in the SKY (a bright light) watching,
    caring loving but unwilling/unable to PHYSICALLY help as it was up to
    US to help each other.
    
    No one was killed. But I still think back to that experience as a
    POSITIVE experience (can you imagine that, I hardly can) in my life.
    
    The point is that even in the face of disaster there is a greater force
    at work.... love.
    
    Jeff

    
    .2 Craig-
    
    Thanks for recommending "Life's Little Instruction Book" I got it
    last night on my birthday. It's just great!
    
    Robyn

    Interesting to note that the older we get the more the
    simplier truths hold firm. 
    
    		-Jim-

    Re prior: Thats because as we face our own mortality more and more as
    we get older the B.S. tends to get lost.... leaving those simplier
    truths.
    
    Jeff
    

    My future...
    
    is in GOD's hands. It has always been.  I am MIGHTY thankful to HIM for
    everything I have, I had, and will have. I am a happy person who would
    not change a single thing in the past if I had the power to do so...
    and would be happy to "re-live" my steps again... I don't have a lot,
    

    Do you think that God intends us to HELP continue creating ourselves,
    (build upon what he has created)?  It sounds as if you believe the 
    script has already been completely written, and its our job to simply
    follow it and carry it out?
    
    That is not to say that one shouldn't be thankful for what one has, or
    be appreciative to God.
    
    I don't buy that the script has been COMPLETELY written
    but has been PARTIALLY written and we are to add to it and built upon
    it.
    
    If one takes the position that God has already determined all, then 
    fighting wrong and evil, is, after all, just Gods will, so why fight
    it????????????
    
    Jeff

    My last sentence didn't make sense.  It should have read:
    
    If God has already determined all then why should we fight evil as its
    Gods will and must be ok? Oh, I know, fighting evil is part of the
    script TOO.
    
    Jeff

.0> What one piece of advice would you give to someone if you could just tell 
>   them one thing to help them get through their lives?

I've been thinking more about this, and trying to figure out a way to get
past the problem with advice that I mentioned in .5.

How's this:


Somewhere out there is the advice you need.  The first time you hear it, it will
make no sense to you.  It might as well be in a foreign language.  The second
time you hear it it will make you angry.  It will be the dumbest thing you
ever heard of.  The third time you hear it, it will change your life.  Keep
listening.

    Yeah but you don't tell us what the advice IS... just its format.
    
    Oh yeah, the ONE piece of advice. Love each other.
    
    Jeff

.11> I don't have a lot,

     Boy, are you ever WRONG! :-)  What else more could you want?

    response to .12
    
    Of course HE does!  How could we then improve ourselves? He sent us
    good standards in the form of "10 Commandments" to guide us through
    these rough times... we ourselves have mighty "little" standards
    because for too long we've been used to the "I" form of verb instead of
    "we"... HE certainly left us with some good advice... it is up to us to
    use or ignore.
    
    Ana

	Oops, thought I'd stumbled into the Christianity notesfile there
	for a second - or has the charter in here changed ?

	- Paul\

    re .18 
    
    Since when was any mention of God or Christianity against the charter
    of this file?
    
    fred();

    re .18
    
    Well said!

    re . 20
    
    ahmen!

    
    
    > Since when was any mention of God 
    
     This is the Agnostic/Atheist mennotes conference :-)
    
    
    David
    
    

    to .22
    ...not until you change this conference's title to include
    "Agnostic/Atheist"... until then, it is "Mennotes" only and that
    includes ALL, religeous or gentils, believers and non-believers alike.
    
    Ana