Conference quark::mennotes

    There's a fine line between honesty and stupidity when being totally
    honest with one's wife. I think it is rare to find a woman who is
    content with all of her physical attributes. For example - hair.
    Too long/too short, too straight/too curly, too dark/too light. Guys
    just seem to worry about "too thin" when it comes to hair. Seems to
    apply to the rest of the physical parts especially butts/breast size.
    You say "way too big" - you in DEEP trouble! Better tell a large
    white lie on this issue. Honesty better be encouraging or supportive.
    Most men learn this the hard way after a few good blunders of "being
    honest". I constantly scew up with clothing. My ususal blunder is "Oh,
    that looks nice on you? Is that new?" and get answers like "Don't you
    remember you bought this for me on my birthday?". I believe my wife
     could go through her entire wardrobe and tell me what I bought her
    and on what occasion I bought it. Any other men out there experienced
    this phenomenom? 

 .0>  When she asks " Is my butt betting too big ? " and it is.!!!
    
      Gee, I was gonna ask "what was the real wager?"...  Good thing I read
      the rest of your note...  Anyway, the solution for your mates is for them
      to take their wives to a Sumo match.  After seeing this the women will
      know the answer to their own question.  Either it's not too big or it's
      way too small!  All your mates risk is getting body-slammed and even if
      they do they can sign their ladies up for the circuit...  

      Hope this helps.

    
    My rule is don't ask if I dont' want a straight answer.
    
    I'm in a relationship that requires total honestly.  Really.  I 
    lost some weight, and keep fishing for compliments.  Last weekend he
    looked at me and said, "You know, Jo, I think you looked fine before. 
    In fact, I think you'd look fine anywhere within 25 pounds of where you
    are now.  The biggest difference in how you look is to you.  You're not
    a skinny 18 year old, you're not a magazine cover, but I love how you
    look, and I always will.  You're not glamorous, and you're not
    stunning, but you are handsome, and consistently attractive to me.  I
    love how you look."
    
    There's a tactful way to be honest.  But if she's asking and doesn't
    wnt to know, that sets up what I call a tiger-trap (a situation where
    you just can't win).
    
    -Jody
    

    I never ask questions that I don't want to hear the answer to.  For
    example, I'd never be afraid to ask someone if they thought my rear-end
    was too big because I know that nobody in their right mind would think
    it is.  However, I would *never* ask a man if he thought my boobs were
    too small, because I know that if he made the mistake of saying "Yes",
    I'd kill him.  
    
    I think it's always possible to be both honest and kind at the same
    time.  If someone with a big rear asked me if I thought it was too big,
    I'd probably say something like, "Oh, no, of course not, but I think
    you'd probably look really good if you took off a few pounds, too."
    
    (Well, maybe that's not completely honest.)
    
    
    To be honest, one of my rules for getting along with other people is
    that it's more important to be kind, than to be honest.  If the truth
    is not crucial to world safety, and is going to hurt someone, I
    generally don't say it.
    
    Lorna
    

    Things like boobs are too small, butts too big are cruel and petty
    things. Its more of whats in the heart and head that counts.

    re:.3
    
    He calls you Jo?  Trying to save on syllables?  ;')

    I don't give a THOUGHT to what a person thinks of my this or that (let
    talk about boobs, rear end, whatever) it's NONE of their business, as
    none of "it" are for share! What I have, good or bad, belongs to me
    alone and not anybody else! If my husband really loves "ME", he loves ME
    with what I HAVE, big, medium or small. That's what make us UNIQUE, our
    very own attibutes... I am not a beauty nor witch, just average, but I
    am very happy with WHATEVER God gave me and I wouldn't change myself
    for the greatest beauty... (with their great boobs, ends, whatever)
    Am I crazy? maybe I am, am I happy with myself? You bet!
    Cheers,

    re: .6
    
    yeah.  you know, those adorable pet names we all need.  Jo.  Jodester. 
    Jodles.  Jodes.  Jodemeister.
    
    

    
    How can I say this clearly?
    
    Sometimes, women say one thing, and mean something different.
    
    I would tend to translate "is my butt getting too big?" to "I know I'm
    gaining weight, would you please reassure me that you still love me?"
    
    The BEST answer is "I love you JUST as you are, but if *YOU* are feeling
    uncomfortable about your figure, we can do something about it
    together... for example, I've heard that sex is great exercise..."
    
    To me, that answer seems intuitively obvious. Has nothing to do with
    HONESTY. It has to do with the fact that some women are taught not to ask
    for what they really want, and they look for other ways to get it.
    
    I know that I have a VERY hard time asking a guy:
    	"Do you still love me, even when I change or act unloveable?"
    
    But many times, that's what I'm *trying* to say... 

    Seems like ever since I read .0, I've noticed a lot of people with big
    rears!  :-)  
    
    Lorna
    

    >
    >How can I say this clearly?
    >
    
    You did just fine -- thanks.
    
    					andrew

    you forgot "Joda"
    
    8-)
    
    Daniel (no nicknames that stick)

    
    "this good you will not look, when 900 years old you be."
    
    or rather
    
    "this big a butt you will not begrudge, when 30 you near!"
    
    -Joda
    

    Folks,

    I'm concerned that a number of you use the term "boobs" to refer to
    breasts...  Anyone who continues to do so is a booby!  Everyone knows
    that the proper term is "Hooters".

                                        Al Bundy

    Given that a booby is a bird, it might be suggested that using the term
    "boobs" makes one a birdbrain, which, in this day of PCness, seems
    obvious...

    "Hooters" is a restaurant chain.
    
    Where/when/how did it start getting used as a term for breasts?
    I never heard the usage till last year or so.  Is it regional?
    
    ed

    re .15, I think since they're my boobs, I can call them anything I want
    to call them.
    
    And, since, you've brought PCness into the discussion, do you really
    think it's PC to call people that you might not consider to be as
    intelligent as yourself *birdbrains*?????
    
    Would a PC kind of guy like yourself, refer to mentally challenged
    individuals as "birdbrains"????
    
    Lorna
    

    Re. .14 and .15
    
    I always thought a "booby" was a robot on "Lost In Space", as in
    "....You bubble-headed booby...." ;)
    
    						Grins,
    						--Eric--

    Re .17
    
    Lorna, have you *no* sense of humor at *all*??
    
    No, don't bother answering, I'd rather see the disk space used for
    something constructive.

    I have a couple of stock answers for those questions.  I try to 
    smile when I give them.  It also lets her know that I think she's
    asking an _extremely_ loaded question.

    1) "I refuse to answer on the grounds that it may cause me to have
        to sleep on the sofa for the next three months".
    2) "Do you want my honest answer or my political answer"?

    fred();

    re .20, yes, Dick, I have a sense of humor.  In fact, just the other
    day I was chuckling over the lyrics of a Talking Heads song that
    reminded me of you:
    
    "I'm a know-it-all 
    the smartest man around"
    
    I heard that and I just cracked up, when it reminded me of your notes! 
    :-) :-)  :-)   ha-ha-ha
    
    Don't you find that hilarious?
    
    Lorna
    

    Being honest with people is a relative thing.  If we all went around
    saying EXACTLY WHAT WE THINK we would make alot of enemies....fast!
    
    The, is my butt getting too big question I would intrepret the way most
    of you would... I know I am gaining weight... do you still love me etc.
    
    I can imagine the reaction if a guy replied.  "Yes it is  too big and
    its starting to be a turn off, could you please go on a diet?"  Maybe
    he THOUGHT that but he says instead "Of course not dear but if its
    bothering you we could exercise together.... make love etc."
    
    Or how about if when somebody asks you "How are you?" and you answered
    accurately and in detail? 
    
    If she said, my butt is getting too big and I am afraid its turning you
    off would be more likely to get a reply like... "No of course not dear"
    when he really thinks it is.
    
    The fact is we are all stuck with having to tell half-truths and omit
    information, and even lie to get along reasonably well with your wife. 
    What if your boss asked you (whom you hate) "what do you think of my
    management style?"  You probably wouldn't have a job for long if you
    answered completely honestly.  Its the same way with your wife... what
    if she asked questions about detailed information about sexual
    relationships you may have had with earlier flames?  Could you afford
    to be completely honest, or would you risk your relationship with her?
    
    Honesty is a balancing act.
    
    Jeff
    
    

    Re .22
    
    This will doubtless surprise you, and it may disappoint you as well,
    but yes, I do find that vastly amusing.  But probably not for the same
    reason you do.
    
    -dick

    Re: Hooters...the restaurant...
    
    If you've ever been to a Hooters......you know why they call it
    Hooters.   8^)  I believe the minimum criteria is 36C.
    
    K

    FYI, the Hooters chain is owned by Japanese businessmen.  I might
    speculate that they are laughing at us while they take our money.
    
    I myself have never been in a Hooters, and I can't imagine the
    circumstance that would make me want to go in one.

    Are there any Hooters in Massachusetts?
    
    A friend of mine went to one in Florida last year.  That was the first
    time I heard of them.  According to him, it was funny but stupid.
    
    Lorna
    

    
>    I myself have never been in a Hooters, and I can't imagine the
>    circumstance that would make me want to go in one.
    
    What if you were offered $1M to go ... 
    
    How about $1M to dance .... oh, that's another topic.
    
    Sorry,
    Greg
    

    re .28, I would go to Hooters for $1M, but would prefer to have sex
    with Robert Redford.  
    
    Lorna
    

The Hooters in the Springs has pretty decent hot wings.

Try the "Three Mile Island Wings."   Hot Stuff!!

    re: .23
>    Or how about if when somebody asks you "How are you?" and you answered
>    accurately and in detail? 
    
    	Cultural difference warning.  A Frenchman is quite likely to reply
    "Oh! je suis souffrant", and then go on to give you the details of his
    latest "crise de foie" or 'flu attack. ;-)

    I heard a report a community last year that was rejecting a 
    permit for Hooters to build a restaurant because "Hooters
    is a euphemism for breasts."
    
    And now back to our regularly scheduled discussion?
    
    ed

    I thought the Hooters were a cleaning service in Las Vegas. :) And the
    were a topless cleaning service.:)

    RE: .30
    
    	Try "Three mile island - naked".  No breading and definately
    	the best I have ever had.  I've been to Hooters in Richmond, VA
    	and in Fort Meyers FL.  Richmond is different - you might say
    	larger with less...  
    
    	Melanie

    We allow the restaurant  "Chi Chis" ...  which is Spanish 
    (vulgar) for breast...  why can't we allow "hooters"?

    I know people who won't eat at Chi chi's because of what the name is.

What about Chichi Rodriguez?  Are there people who won't play golf with him
because of his name?

    re:.37
    
    Yes, it's true.  Cross my heart.  ;')

    Are there also people who will not look at or visit Teton National
    Park?
    
    "Les Grands Tetons"
    
    ed

    It must be very difficult being so Poltikally Korrect.

    One might suppose that there is at least some degree of difference
    between a modern highly-commercial eatery's use of a denigrating term
    as its name and the remnant of history some hundreds of years in the
    past as explorers named a group of mountain peaks.
    
    It must be wonderfully liberating to be so nikulturny.

    There's also the charm of a foreign language. Lots of Italian places
    around here offer dishes "Putanesca," which, I believe, derives from
    the Italian word for "whore"... So, those folks who might not want to
    see a dish called "hooker's pasta" can choose it by the Italian name,
    claiming (real or feigned) ignorance. 
    
    ;-)
    
    -b

    I've been wondering what type of similar restaurant chain could be
    opened up for the entertainment of women.  What would make a good name,
    and what would the attraction be?  
    
    Maybe it could simply be called Dick's?  or Cock's?  Peter's Place? 
    And, the waiters would all be cute young guys with 20 socks stuffed in 
    the front of their pants????  Enormous bulges??
    
    Lorna
    
    
    

>    It must be wonderfully liberating to be so nikulturny.

 That's nekulturny.

    >>    It must be wonderfully liberating to be so nikulturny.
    >
    > That's nekulturny.
    
        Actually, Doctah, it's nekulturnyi.

   
>    I dont mean the " Where were you untill 6 this morning saga "
>    but the stupid one way answers !!!!!!
>    
>    When she asks " Is my butt betting too big ? " and it is.!!!
 


	"You bet your ass it is!"


>    are now.  The biggest difference in how you look is to you.  You're not
>    a skinny 18 year old, you're not a magazine cover, but I love how you
>    look, and I always will.  You're not glamorous, and you're not
>    stunning, but you are handsome, and consistently attractive to me.  I
>    love how you look."



	Jo, I trusted him until the "...and I always will" part.  I can sometimes
	trust when people share where they're at *now*.  But how can people
	possibly know what they'll feel later ?



/Eric

    
    	Worcester has Fat Dickie's BBQ... No waiters with bulges though
    

    Chi Chi's may mean breasts, but they don't "dress" their employees
    to emphasize this like Hooters does.  I never knew what the meaning
    of that Mexican restaurant meant until now.  I'm sure many others
    don't know it either.

    oops, Fat Dickie's is no longer Fat Dickie's, it closed and reopened
    under a new name (but still serves barbecue, I think).
    
    re: .46

>	trust when people share where they're at *now*.  But how can people
>	possibly know what they'll feel later ?


    well, we've decided to play forever as if it's ours.  
    I can't put faith in a relationship unless we both truly believe.
    that's my choice, though, not a requirement for everybody.
    
    
    -Jody

    re: .46

>	trust when people share where they're at *now*.  But how can people
>	possibly know what they'll feel later ?

I think this is where the 'C' word comes in ...



	commitment.

	'in sickness and health, poverty and wealth, etc., etc.'



	oops, sorry.

    here in the UK, down in the South West area: Torquay / Cornwall, we
    have touristy shops called Fat Fannies/ Fat Willies!
    
    The shop assistants dont necessarily have the above!