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Conference quark::mennotes

Title:	Discussions of topics pertaining to men
Notice:	Please read all replies to note 1
Moderator:	QUARK::LIONELE

Created:	Thu Jan 21 1993
Last Modified:	Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:	Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:	268
Total number of notes:	12755

146.0. "Spousal Support Equity" by HIGHD::DREHER () Sat Nov 26 1994 06:01

    
    I am having some difficulty dealing with the spousal support laws here
    in the State of California.  More specifically I'm having difficulty
    dealing with the fact that I must pay 20% of my gross income to my
    ex-spouse -- for LIFE!
    
    Those of you in a similar situation understand that this is the law and 
    not a reflection of the abilities of my legal counsel over the years.
    
    I've mulled this over and I figure I have some choices;
    
    1.  Accept the situation and move on.  (This is not working for me) 
    2.  Don't have an income.  (My current spouse does not like this idea)
    3.  Make so much money it does not matter.  (Still working on this one)
    4.  Consider illegal actions against my ex.  (Not my style)
    5.  Work to change the law.  (Sounds like a challenge!)
    
    Work to change the law.  Hmmmmm.  I personally belive that there are
    many situations in which spousal support has some basis of merit.  However
    I feel that there must be some limits established to ensure it is equitable.
    
    I believe that one half the length of the marriage or, worst case, the
    full length of the marriage is a reasonable limit.  I believe that
    there are enough people out there that feel like I do and would be
    willing to work with me to change the law.
    
    Any advise on how I might get started?  Anyone out there already doing 
    something like this?
    
    Yes -- I am absolutely serious so please reply if you have any
    constructive suggestions.

T.R	Title	User	Personal Name	Date	Lines
146.1	vote with your feet?	PASTIS::MONAHAN	humanity is a trojan horse	`Sun Nov 27 1994 07:51`	20
	6) change coutries. I have known only a few divorces among friends, colleagues and relatives, and in most cases there was no real argument about what was fair. In one case the two used the same lawyer to save costs. In one case the couple were separated for about 10 years, and during that time she and her two kids received random but substantial cheques every 3 to 6 months. Eventually she divorced him (divorce was against his religion) and the cheques stopped arriving. She considered that fair, but even if she didn't, she has no idea in which country he is now living. This is the wife's side of the story, since I never met the husband. I doubt if any other country would uphold that California law, and I know of no country that supports extradition for financial debts. Go somewhere else and then agree with her what it is fair that you pay. If enough people do that then the law will change since it will be made unworkable. When people refuse to live under an unjust law then eventually the law changes.
146.2		AIMHI::RAUH	I survived the Cruel Spa	`Mon Nov 28 1994 11:20`	13
	In New Hampshire, you might have to pay maintence/alimony for a short time, or till she is capable of standing on her own two feet. Usually, the man picks up the tab for sending her back to school. College. Then she is a big people and can find a job. And thus eliminates having to do nasty things, like O.J.'en her. I would look at this as a viable alternative. Pick up the tab for college, allow her to go for a minimum of a batchlors in something. Give her the house, and vola! A done deal not ofr life. el iing pe
146.3		NOVA::FISHER	Tay-unned, rey-usted, rey-ady	`Mon Nov 28 1994 12:16`	4
	If you pickj up the tab for college, set a time limit or you're back in the same pot. ed
146.4		AIMHI::RAUH	I survived the Cruel Spa	`Mon Nov 28 1994 12:48`	7
	Contrair! You have a set time, a set limit, and a set degree. Or else. The rest of your life is a long time. Or until she remarries. And if the laws run like they do out west as they do out east. She could shack up with some guy, calling it just a boyfriend. But common law marriage. She could collect, and have him there and support all of the above. I have seen it out east, esp Mass or PRM.
146.5		43GMC::KEITH	Dr. Deuce	`Mon Nov 28 1994 15:38`	8
	RE .0 Does the 'payment for life' work in reverse if a man is a house husband and the woman makes more? Just wondering... Steve
146.6	What's going on in the world today????????	WOTVAX::DAVIESJ		`Thu Dec 08 1994 13:54`	3
	Well, I have jsut read throught the reply's to you note and your answer is fix her up with another fella!!
146.7		CSC32::HADDOCK	Saddle Rozinante	`Thu Dec 08 1994 16:53`	12
	re .6 >Well, I have jsut read throught the reply's to you note and >your answer is fix her up with another fella!! Not necessarily. As long as they just "shack up" and don't get married she gets to keep collecting, and you get to finance their little love nest, and the only thing you can do about it will get you on "America's Most Wanted". What a deal, huh? fred();
146.8	put out or get out ;)	WMOIS::MELANSON_DOM		`Thu Dec 15 1994 19:21`	9
	find a job that provides you with all your needs (car, home, food ect) NO MONEY as payment and then find a companion and use your imagination. Forget fighting the state or feds, you just can't win since men are not the majority anymore. or Move to Margarita Ville and say hi to Jimmy 8')
146.9		BSS::RALSTON	Ain't life fun!	`Thu Dec 15 1994 19:40`	6
	>Forget fighting the state or feds, you just can't win since men are not >the majority anymore. I thought that women were considered an official minority?!? Just wondering as I sit laughing.
146.10		QUARK::LIONEL	Free advice is worth every cent	`Thu Dec 15 1994 20:08`	4
	Officially, yes. By the numbers, they've been a slight majority for a long time. Steve
146.11	Couldn't resist...	43GMC::KEITH	Dr. Deuce	`Fri Dec 16 1994 09:47`	6
	~ 51% vs 49% The new math! You 'just don't get it' do you? 8-)) Steve