Conference quark::mennotes

    Ahhh .. the memories.... at a company where I worked we had the
    proverbial "office Christmas party".  Seems as though the hottest
    female_lady_wimmins around spilled a drink on my me.  Being the
    gentleman that I am there was no problem .. but .. she insisted
    that she remedy the situation.  Hum.... she had on jeans.  I had
    on jeans.  We had 'bout the same waist size .. 'bout the same length.

    After this revelation we proceeded into the supply closet to exchange
    jeans.  During the process it was discovered that my Jockeys were
    also soaked.  Oh well .. why not exchange underwear since we're
    already 1/2 way there.  So, we did.

    One cannot see past the next minute or two of one's life when you're
    totally bombed .. and it never occurred to me that I was going home
    after the party.

    Can you imagine the "explaining" when I undressed and a load of
    Styrofoam packing material fell from my (her) jeans when I took
    them off?  No problem, that couldn't hold a candle to explaining
    the pink lace undies.
    
    Oh well.

    Bubba

    Bubba, you are onto something here! Personally I don't trust people who
    don't drink. Done and said many stupid things while drinking/drunk but
    at the time you don't really give a damn - another advantage of being
    bombed at the time. Then again, I have also done and said many stupid
    things while sober. Booze just makes it easier and more enjoyable. Got
    absolutely blottoed at my daughter's wedding due to five bottles of 
    champagne (nectar of the gods). Now I will have to take my wife's word
    on these five bottles (and I better!) but I honestly lost count after
    three. She has reminded me over the years how absolutely drunk I was
    and some of the obnoxious things I said and how I either p****ed off
    someone or upset someone. Glad to see the evening wasn't an entire
    waste. A good drunk every so often certainly helps relieve all those
    tensions. Unfortunately, a good drunk now really puts it on me as far
    as hangovers. Sure sign of aging. 

.2> Drunk?  You betcha!

    Please.  This is a family and politically correct conference.  The
    appropriate terminology in polite society is "slightly inebriated".

    Thank you,
    Brewmaster_Bubba

    Never been drunk. I don't drink and never have. This of course got
    me invited to quite a few parties over the years. Lot's of people like
    having a sober person around to make sure they get home safely.
    Especially if that person has discretion. And I do. So I'm not going
    to tell you names of who I've seen do what I've seen over the years. But 
    I've seen enough to convince me that getting drunk is not a very smart or 
    cool thing to do. Well, unless amusing the sober is smart or cool. :-)

    		Alfred

    Whoops, sorry forgot S/drunk/slightly inebriated/%WH

>    proverbial "office Christmas party".  Seems as though the hottest
    
>    on jeans.  We had 'bout the same waist size .. 'bout the same length.
    
    	If she was hot and you had the same waist size this must be a very
    old story. :-)
    
    			Alfred

    I admit also to enjoying good liquor. Myself...I like Old Grandad with
    soda water. 100 proof, bottled in bond.
    
    I usually don't really drink to *get* drunk.....I drink because I like
    the taste and I don't mind feeling relaxed.  Drinking is like walking
    a fine line.....drunk is over the line.....maybe I don't like
    being drunk because of the lack of control or the sickness.
    
    I see nothing wrong with drinking, but,like everything in life, it can
    be abused.
    
    Marc H.

    RE: Hangovers
    
    A hard drinking friend of mine once told me that he felt sorry for
    non-drinkers. I asked why. His answer, "because when you get up in the
    morning that's as good as you're going to feel all day."
    
    I think I'll pass on the hangover anyway. :-)
    
    			Alfred

    This is the appropriate day for this topic...
    

    I can't remember my most drunken experience..

Is getting drunk really a male thing?  Are there more drunk men than drunk
women?

    I think the comment in the other string had it: the "guy thing" seems
    to be bragging about how drunk one got; getting drunk is an
    equal-opportunity {vice/habit/amusement/game/whatever}. [Note the
    one-time popularity of Lydia Pinkham's tonic, the major feature of
    which was its 40% alcohol content. But it wasn't booze, y'see, it was
    _medicine_.]
    
    Gee, have I ever told you how drunk I got the time somebody spiked the
    orange juice with Everclear? ;-)
    
    -b

    Anyone every had *REAL* moonshine? I haven't had any ...except
    for some I made once as a chemistry experiment.
    
    Marc H.

    	I did wake up on a gravestone once at 4 a.m., but I knew how I had
    got there and and I didn't have a hangover. That was almost 30 years
    ago, though.
    
    	As for women getting drunk, the driving limit here is 80mg.. Some
    time ago the local newspaper reported a woman schoolteacher being
    picked up for erratic driving. Tests showed 400mg.; the doctors were
    astonished that she wasn't comatose and suggested that they were
    surprised she didn't die from alcohol poisoning.

.12> Anyone every had *REAL* moonshine?
    
    Yes.  I was about 16 years old .. it curled my toenails, my hair
    frizzled, my body temperature rose to about 150 degrees, and I
    broke out in a cold sweat.
    
    Damn it was good.
    
    I remember drinking some stuff in Tokyo that was very close to
    moonshine.  That's about all that I remember.
    
    Bubba

    Re .12
    
    Yes indeedy.  When I was in my early 20s I knew a guy who had a pretty
    steady supply from the hills of Tennessee.  I tried it once or twice or
    maybe more...
    
    Bubba's description is basically on the nuts, and I remember opining at
    the time of my first experience that a liquid about the color of light
    corn syrup had no business producing this kind of effect on the human
    body.
    
    For a while in the '70s there was actually a legal producer of the
    stuff - bonded and everything, and they sold it in quart Mason jars in
    the liquor stores around where I lived.  It wasn't a patch on the
    Thunder Road variety.

    Moonshine......In my naval days circa 1968-72. A close friend in my
    division got a goody box from home. Leon was an Ozarks mountain man.
    Skinny as a rail, could play a banjo and fiddle....his grammaw taught
    him. Anyway...in the middle of the box, surrounded buy bread and
    cookies was mason jar with a clear liquid. It was like swallowing
    kerosene and ground glass....but it were good! He let everyone have a
    sip that wanted some. I wonder what he's doin?
    
    My worst?Best? drunken story?.(Do next unseen if you embarass easily)
    
    	I was in the Phillipines....Alongopo City. I went into the Stag
    Club about 1 in the afternoon and began tossing down San Miguel after
    San Miguel.It was about 95 outside and the little AC inthe club only
    took a bit of the edge off. About 6:30 or so, one of the girls began to
    tease me about not liking girls etc....typical bar girl talk to get you
    to pay your 20 pesos (roughly $3 US) to enjoy a conjugal visit with
    her. After some dares and challanges from friends and bar girls, she
    dared me to chase her and said that should I catch her, I could have 
    my way with her, if I didn't, I'd have to give her 20 Pessos. I'd had 
    15 or so beers and was feeling fast and agile. So I chased her. She
    misjudged a chair and as luck would have it, I caught her. So she jump
    up on the table and I dropped my pants to my ankles. Cheers arose from
    the crowd........or so I thought......As the young lady and I began to
    embrace, the Shore Patrol proceeded to put leg iron on me and marched
    me out the door into the streets of Olongopo and into the SP truck.
    I was taken to the 'Tank' and unchained, and put into a cell. Because 
    no one would press charges, they took me to the ship and I went to bed.
    I couldn't remember much, but my friends recounted the story and gave
    me pictures to verify my exploits......not something you write home
    about......
    
    	I stopped drinking in 1970......and only have had a couple of beers
    since and only on hot, hot days. No hard liquor. I felt that had lost
    control and decided that if I didn't give it up.......I end up dead.
    
    Ken

    re: .12
    
    Yes -- straight from West Virginia, still in the jars.  Pale gold.
    Sort of like swallowing a mouthful of August sunshine, it warms you
    from the inside out.
    
    I was working at the rocket factory at the time.  Our host decided
    to play a little trick on some of his guests.  After handing out
    the 'shine, he conducted a demonstation with a match and an
    ashtray full of the liquor.  As he brought the two together,
    there was a flash and a flame that licked the ceiling.  There
    were a number of guests staring into their glasses with wonder
    at this point...
    
    What they didn't know is that he had primed the ashtray with one
    of the pellets that makes a rocket motor igniter ignite.
    
    Later on, the guests began to ignite with some regularity.
    
    Ron

>    What they didn't know is that he had primed the ashtray with one
>    of the pellets that makes a rocket motor igniter ignite.

And he went on to work for NBC News.

    We made some pretty wicked stuff in chemistry class once.  About
    half of the Junior class was pretty tanked.  Almost cost the teacher
    his job except that he was able to convince the powers that be that
    he know nothing about what was going on.  Then they almost fired him
    for not keeping track of what was going on.

    My wife makes some pretty good homemade wine.  Stuff comes out about
    30 proof.  Wicked stuff.  Too bad I'm not a drinking person.  Last
    jug we made lasted almost a year.

    fred();

    RE: .19
    
    Fred, how do you get 30 proof out of the wine? Do you add extra sugar?
    I though that the natural limit was around 18-20 proof.
    
    Marc H.

 The natural limit is around 16% alcohol. This translates to 32 proof.

    Thanks...
    
    Marc H.

    Possible confusion: it translates to 32% U.S. proof. The U.K. proof is
    different, and it would be equivalent to about 23% U.K. proof. In the
    rest of Europe it is normally just the % alcohol that is quoted, so you
    would see it as 16% vol. Fortunately no one seems to use percentage by
    weight, because that would be different again.
    
    Beer yeasts tend to die at about 12% alcohol (24% U.S. proof) but wine
    yeasts can often tolerate 16% alcohol, and specially selected strains
    can brew up to about 18% alcohol if you get all the other conditions
    right.

> The U.K. proof is different, and it would be equivalent to 
>about 23% U.K. proof.

 How does one determine UK proof?

    I too am interested in the UK proof method. All this time, I thought
    that it was the same. 
    
    Marc H.

    US 200 proof = 100%
    UK 150 proof = 100%
    
    Metric system: 100% = 100% :-)
    
    ed

>    UK 150 proof = 100%

 Sounds as logical as their other measures. :-)

    re .20

>    Fred, how do you get 30 proof out of the wine? Do you add extra sugar?
>    I though that the natural limit was around 18-20 proof.

    The actual recipe would probably get deleted as an "insult" to 
    "real wine" makers, but it does involve added sugar (that in
    itself is enough to get you kicked out of most wine making
    establishments :^) ).  But, hey, I didn't say she is a Rothchild(sp),
    I just said she makes a pretty decent homemade wine that packs
    a wallop ;^).

    fred();

    So the yeast gets so crocked at about 12 % that it DIES!
    
    Hmmmmm, maybe thats why alcohol has such a kick.
    
    Jeff

    re:.28
    
    Over yonder we refer to that as Thunderbird.  :')

actually, Jeff, alcohol is an end-product of yeast metabolism; fermentation
is yeast converting sugar into carbon dioxide and alcohol.  It dies in its
own waste products.

DougO

    re .30
>    Over yonder we refer to that as Thunderbird.  :')
                                     ^^^^^^^^^^^
    So _that's_ what those little things circling around my head were 8^).

    fred();

    Yup, I know Doug, I was trying to be funny.
    
    Jeff

    re .12  during christmas time my father had "moonshine" , a "present"
    from one of his buddies. I of course, never tried it but i did pick up
    the bottle to examine it and it was pretty gross looking...even had hot
    peppers in there!   eeeeyewwwwwwwwww.   
    
    I thought the bubba story was hilarious!!!!

    re Moonshine:

    Actually moonshine is made out of mostly sugar and water with
    a little grain or whatever thrown in for "flavor".  It is usually
    distilled to between 90 and 140 proof.  One bad thing about moonshine 
    is that the "brewers" will often use an old car radiator as a condensing 
    coil for the still.  The lead from the solder gets into the cookins and 
    will do some real dirty things to your brain cells ( can you say lead 
    poison *^( ).

    Back home a few years back, they did some blasting on for some 
    road construction.  When the left, they left a little utility building 
    that they had been renting with a "DANGER EXPLOSIVES" sign hanging on it.
    A couple guys set up a still in the building and were in production for 
    about two years before they were caught.

    fred();

    Can anyone explain how moonshine is made? All you need is just sugar and
    water? I have all the ingredients at home, maybe I can mix up a batch at
    home tonight!

    - Jim

One is compelled to remind the humble US denizens of mennotes that while
in most states of the US fermentation of beer and wine for personal
consumption is legal, distillation is most assuredly not.

DougO

    	The following contains enough fact to be credible. You can believe
    any percentage of it that you like.
    
    	Way back, England owned most of the Bordeaux region of what is now
    France. As a result of the close relationship and the fact that England
    is marginally too cold in Summer to produce good wine a lot of wine was
    imported into mainland England from the colony. Obviously the
    government wanted its cut, and the taxation was just a fixed amount per
    barrel.
    
    	Now someone around Cognac (a town in the Bordeaux region) got a
    bright idea. If we concentrate the stuff before shipping then we not
    only save on shipping costs, we save on the English import duty too -
    the same sort of idea as shipping concentrated orange juice around
    these days, and they can dilute it again at the other end. This was the
    origin of brandy (= brand wyn = burnt wine). By this time Bordeaux was
    no longer part of the English empire, but the trade links remained.
    
    	The reduced volume not only reduced the government revenue when it
    was imported legally into England, it also made it more convenient for
    smugglers to handle. The stuff the people in the Cognac region were
    producing was as volume-reduced as they could make, which probably
    meant it was about 90% alcohol.
    
    	The English government was naturally upset at this tax evasion, and
    took two steps to fix the problem. The first was excise officers to cut
    down on smuggling, and the second was introduction of a higher rate of
    tax on brandy than on wine.
    
    	Now how does a simple customs officer decide which rate of tax to
    charge?  There was a very practical answer. All customs officers
    carried gunpowder, so you take a little gunpowder, moisten it with the
    unknown liquid to make a paste, and attempt to light it. If it burns it 
    is "proof" that it is brandy.
    
    	Of course, the tax evaders in Cognac soon caught on to the idea,
    and started shipping stuff that was just below "proof". The concept of
    a proportion of "proof" was born.
    
    	By the time the U.S. started to get interested in taxing alcohol it
    was possible to make fairly accurate measurements of percent by volume,
    and the Americans, being perverse, decided to make a mish-mash of the
    two systems. They measured the alcohol content, instead of quoting it
    as parts per hundred they quoted it as parts per two hundred, and then
    called this "proof" in imitation of the old English system of
    measurement.
    
    	The English developed a practical testing technique for the use of
    field personnel, and with fairly primitive scientific knowlege.
    Continental Europe, standardising later and with the benefit of more
    advanced scientific techniques, also chose a reasonable standard of
    measurement. It is the U.S. that is eccentric. Can you think of
    anything else except U.S. proof that is defined as parts per 
    *two* hundred?
    
    	The earlier reply that gave a figure for the English "proof" is
    incorrect. A quick check of a reference book gives "proof" as measured
    at 57.3% alcohol by volume when using modern measurement techniques
    rather than using gunpowder.
    
    	(In case anyone questions the consistent use of "English" above,
    much of this history took place while the Scots were allied to France
    rather than England).

    RE: .37

    Actually, I was just asking because I was curious. I don't think I could
    fit a still in my apartment.

    While the act of making moonshine is illegal, the knowledge of how it is
    done surely is not.

    - Jim

    	First thing, as far as I know it is not illegal to distill one's
    own booze in this country.  As i remember, the law says that you may
    not possess a still that has a capacity of more than one half gallon,
    and you may not sell any liquor without paying tax on it.
    To make booze in your own home:
    	Mix a cup or so of sugar with most of a gallon of water in a clean
    (rinse with a mild bleach solution then water) milk jug.  Add a small
    amount of bread yeast.  Leave the jug in a warm place with the cap
    resting on top.  
    	When bubbles cease to rise when the jug is tapped (a week or so),
    distill.  A small still can be easily made from a pressure cooker,
    coffee pot or other container that will take very slight pressure and
    can be sealed, and about 5 feet of 1/4 or 5/16 copper tubing, and
    another container to hold cold water.  You want to distill slowly until
    there is little or no alcohol in the distillate.  Discard the remaining
    liquid in the still.  Repeat filling the still half full each time
    until the whole gallon is done (remember our still holds less than 1/2
    gallon).  Now put the distillate back into the still and repeat the
    process discarding the first capful or so that comes through.  Keep
    redistilling until an ice cube sinks in the stuff.  Then dilute/flavor
    to taste and drink until you have to hold onto the ground to avoid
    falling off.
    						John
    	

    re .40

    Some information from back when my brother and I were thinking about
    going into the Gasohol business.

    The trick to distillation is that alcohol will boil at about 180 F.
    Whereas water will boil at 212 F.  If you have a thermometer and
    can control the heat at around 190, it works a lot better.  

    Also remember hat only about 12% of the solution will be alcohol, so
    of you distill out about 1/4 or the liquid you will have something
    around 100 proof booze.  80 proof is usually common for "moonshine".  
    Getting it higher requires real good temperature control.  Above 140 
    is difficult and requires multiple temperature control.  It takes 
    about 140 proof to burn in a vehicle.  You have to get it above 180 
    proof for it to mix with gasoline, or it will separate due to the 
    water content.

    
    fred();

    	I wouldn't advise anyone to drink anything distilled by someone who
    hadn't a good grasp of the principles of fractional distillation.
    
    	In any fermentation you will get a mix of various alcohols. Strict
    cleanliness and choice of a good yeast favour getting mostly the
    alcohol you want in the fermentation, but you then have to separate it
    in the distillation.
    
    	The first fraction in a distillation will be mostly methyl alcohol,
    and this should be discarded since it makes you blind.
    
    	The second fraction will be mostly ethyl alcohol, and this is the
    one you want. It destroys your liver if you are persistant enough, but
    you knew that anyway.
    
    	The later fractions will include butyl and propyl alcohol. These
    may have other effects, but they certainly give you violent hangovers.
    Unless you are really into masochism you will want to exclude these
    fractions.
    
    	Distilling alcohol is more restricted in the U.K..  In general you
    have to have a licence and pay duty on it (and that means government
    inspections) regardless of the quantity. The only exception I know of
    is in schools for demonstration purposes.

    RE: .42
    
    Yah...but...the stuff I had sure tasted good!
    
    Marc H.

    Not intended to be a hit on you, Marc, but although I've also
    been fascinated about how to make certain home-brews and moonshine,
    I'd also second the warning about being extremely cautious about
    drinking the stuff unless I was real sure where it came from.
    as .42 indicated, it can contain some impurities that will do
    some real nasty things to your continued good health.

    As mentioned before, lead poisoning is one, also moonshine can
    contain methanol.  Unlike masturbation, methanol _will_ make you
    go blind.  If it doesn't kill you first.

    When I was a kid, we had a neighbor that was left partially paralyzed
    by some bad home-brew.
    
    fred();

    RE: .44
    
    No problem .....
    
    Marc H.

    re .35   hmm...then what WAS that gross looking stuff my father was
    drinking?  I thought moonshine was just another word for "homemade" 
    alcohol.  this bottle was filled with all kinds of "homemade' stuff..
    probably one sip will knock you out for a week. 
    
    eeeyewwwwwwwwww

.38> bright idea. If we concentrate the stuff before shipping then we not
.38> only save on shipping costs, we save on the English import duty too -
    
    A lesson in drug exports that even applies today.  Right now, DEA
    agents report a huge increase in the confiscation of fentanyl, a
    heroin-like drug that's 80 times more potent.
    
    Those who never learn from history are destined to repeat it.