Conference quark::mennotes-v1

    Every Christmas I buy my father an ungodly number of bright yellow
    pinnacle 707 golf balls and a bottle of whiskey.  During the Spring
    and Summer he sends the balls to a watery grave, comes home bitching,
    and has a drink.

    Martin

    My father was usually designated carver, not just at Christmas, but
    also on Sundays.  I can't think of anything else...
    
    					andrew

    
    
      The women would prepare the meal and serve it, afterwords, the men
    would do the dishes, serve dessert. Later on in the evening my mother
    insisted on all of us gathering around the organ and sing christmas
    charols(sp). I stunk:-)
    
    David

    Men are supposed to take care of buying the Xmas tree, getting it home
    somehow (tied to the roof of the car or whatever), and then they should
    be responsible for setting it up.  After this undesirable job is done,
    the men should leave and let the women decorate it.  This is what I was
    raised to believe and I still think this is how it should be done.
    
    Lorna
    

    
    My father was always the one we'd decorate the tree with - a certain
    order to the stringing of the lights, checking bulbs, replacing them,
    then the tinsel and/or icicles.  Then the ornaments, hung while the
    tree lights were on and the room was dark, so we could so how they
    could best catch the light, and balance with other ornaments. 
    Afterwards, we'd call my mother down and her eyes would sparkle.
    
    -Jody
    

    
    
    -1
    
     We always had this crummy aluminum Christmas tree that we( the males)
    would have to put up. I still remember sticking every one of the
    branches into the little holes in the main trunk of the tree .. I swore
    at age 12 " When I am on my on I will always use a real tree."
    
    David

    Daddy and bro set up tree, Daddy carved main meat, Mom did all 
    shopping (but Daddy doing is own last 5 years or so), Daddy do
    the wrapping and tags, Daddy, bro, uncle and gramps go into
    separate room to tell dirty jokes...

    re .5, that's right.  I forgot.  The men are supposed to put the lights
    on the tree, too.  Then, the women decorate it.  :-)
    
    Lorna
    

    
    Gee, I *love* our old aluminum tree. Dad got custody of it when mom and
    dad split... or else we dragged it over to his apartment after our
    first Christmas as a fragmented family. We used to put satin balls on
    it. No lights: it didn't need any.
    
    I loved pulling each aluminum branch out of the green wrapper and
    placing into the rod. Kinda like making the tree. And I didn't even
    mind taking it back down again. Its definitely a lot easier to
    dismantle than our big green fake tree which we would put lights and
    tinsel and popcorn and decorations on. Detinseling a tree is a PAIN!
    
    Dad still puts up the silver tree. Wouldn't seem like Christmas if it
    were gone. That tree is well over 20 years old; I think of it as a
    tradition.

    The men in my family have always been the ones to procure, set up, and
    enlighten the tree.  (Other than for a few years in south Florida, when
    real trees were entirely without our budget and invariably bone dry
    anyway, we've always had the real ones.  Fake ones don't smell right.)
    
    My wife and I usually go together to get the tree, but I make the
    decision, load the thing on the car, and so on.  Why do I make the
    decision?  Because one year we cut our own tree.  Barbara saw a truly
    *lovely* full tree and, over my objections about its size, required me
    to cut it.  We have 10-foot ceilings.  I had to cut 4 feet off the tree
    to get it into the house...  Since then she won't pick the tree.
    
    The men have been the designated bird carvers; however, I am arranging
    that we will not have a bird to be carved this year...
    
    -dick

    There is a 16 foot tree in our front yard. I've been putting lights on
    it since it was 6 feet tall. It's my job and just don't try and tell
    me a woman could do it as well. I've seen trees that women put the
    light on. :-) Actually not too many men put the lights on right on an
    outdoor tree anymore. 

    		Alfred

    Re: .10 (14-foot-tall tree in a 10-foot house...)
    
    I have my own too-tall-tree story I like to tell... (hit 'n' if you've
    heard it already...)
    
    My brother's birthday is Dec. 21.  For many years my parents refused
    to get a tree until after his birthday (to avoid any holiday
    confusion).  And they always got real trees.  Well, one year they
    waited until Dec. 23, and the selection was... shall we say...
    rather picked over.  The only one left was an 10-footer.  Our house
    had 7-foot ceilings.  So it had to be cut down.  So what did daddy
    dearest do?  That's right... he cut the TOP three feet off the
    tree, and dragged the bottom into the house.  I almost cried (yes;
    Me.  Boy.  Male.  Almost cried.  Got a problem with that?), it
    looked like a box and so un-christmas-tree-like.
    
    My brother and I fished the top three feet off the trash heap
    and set it up in our bedroom with some of the surplus lights and
    tinsel on it... if mom&dad weren't going to have a "real" tree,
    *we* were sure going to! 8-)
    
    --jim
    

    "Tradition"?  Absolutely!!!!

    This is the time of year where I get my .30-.30 Winchester and my dad
    and I go deer hunting (hopefully with doe permits).  We had the venison
    mixed 50% venison and 50% pork ... makes the best sausage that you have
    ever in your life put in your mouth.  Christmas morning we have grits
    and the sausage with red-eye gravy and home made breads.

    Bubba

>Christmas morning we have grits
>and the sausage with red-eye gravy and home made breads.


Good eatin'.  <drool>

    Hmmm. Dad got the tree, put it in the stand (a big galvanized tub that
    he'd fill with rocks; worked great, but was a bear to move once
    filled), and put on the lights (after going through the ancient ritual
    of Testing the In-Series Lights to find the burnt-out ones; modern
    light strings aren't usually sensitive to individual bulb burnout, and
    even if they are, new strings are so inexpensive it's more economical
    to get a new one than to test each bulb. Our old string of lights
    featured those big German-style glass bulbs in very odd shapes and
    colors; I remember 'em still, though I haven't seen them in maybe
    twenty years).
    
    Dad did the carving of whatever there was to carve - our Christmas
    dinners were usually ham, I think, with leg of lamb for New Year's, but
    sometimes we'd have something else just to keep people on their toes.
    
    Dad was officially Santa Claus, but in our family all that meant was
    that he'd stay up late to assemble any toys that needed it, while Mom
    filled the stockings - and Dad would get to eat Santa's milk and
    cookies. (Oddly enough, gifts ostensibly from "Santa Claus" were often
    labelled in Mom's handwriting, though...)
    
    I don't remember any other Dad-specific duties, Christmas-wise; I do
    remember, with great delight, that it always felt like a thoroughly
    cooperative event, with everyone in the family intimately involved in
    the entire holiday.
    
    There were other rituals: "Children may examine the contents of their
    stockings as soon as they get up, but they may *not* come downstairs or
    make undue noise - even if they got toy trumpets - until Mom and Dad
    have had their first cup of coffee." [The wait for the smell of brewing
    java was _excruciating_.]
    
    "Presents will be opened one at a time, so that everyone can see who
    got what, and how surprised they are." [This included reading amusing
    gift tags aloud, immediately trying on any item suitable for tryings-
    on, or mugging ferociously upon receipt of the inevitable "surprise"
    gift. It also had the delightful side effect of making the whole
    process last much, much longer than if we'd all just torn into the
    packages simultaneously. (Pauses in which to let the cats frolic in the
    gift wrap while Mom and Dad got more coffee were also encouraged.)]
    
    "Children may use the Christmas tree as an auxiliary playset for their
    toy cowboys, dinosaurs, etc., so long as they do not knock it over,
    spill the water, or break any of the ornaments." [This - along with
    simply lying underneath the tree, gazing up through the branches - was
    a favorite pre-Christmas pastime.]
    
    Gee, I'm getting all sentimental. Think I'll go home and lie underneath
    my Christmas tree for a while... ;-)
    
    -b

    the most important male holiday tradition in my familty is this:
    
    Men are the Designated Football Watchers.
    
    Occasionally Basketball Watchers; my dad is the big basketball fan.
    
    Other rituals; bird-carving, and drink-mixing. Wood-chopping, drive-way
    snow plowing. Drive that little tractor! 
    
    Tennis-playing at an indoor court involves the whole family.
    Cross-country skiing. And, perhaps going to the very non-competitive
    pro games that happen over the holiday week, like the Pistons versus
    the Nets.
    
    -roger
    

    Divison of duties for Christmas in the Zarlenga household, pre 1992:

    Mom
    	Address and mail all the Christmas cards
    	Select the food
    	Cook the food
    	Clean up afterwards (ie: load the dishwasher)

    Dad
    	Decorate the tree
    	Wrap the presents
    	Hangup the Christmas cards received
    	Select the wine
    	Carve and serve the food
    	Fall asleep on the couch in front of the TV (snoring optional)

    Me   
    	Set up the tree
    	Set up the manger scene
    	Get out the tree decorations - lights, ornaments, tinsel, garland
    	Carry the food from the market to the car and from the car to
    	 the freezer
    	Drag out all the huge pots and pans that are only used for
    	 big food holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas


    This year will be different, though, because both my parents passed
    away a couple of months ago.  It's going to be quite different this
    year, and it'll take a few more additional years to get back into a
    stable Christmas routine.

    The only saving grace is that I still have a large extended (all
    relatives, just not in the immediate family) family, and they've
    always been a significant piece of the entire holiday event.

    Not the same, but not nearly as bad as it could be.

    While growing up, I had a close friend whose grandfather would
    pronounce a blessing on all family member present at the family dinner.
    For those members absent, he would walk outside, sprinkle Holy Water
    (they were Catholic) and pronounce a blessing upon the absent ones. 
    This tradition/honor fell upon the oldest living male (patriarch) of
    the family.  Anyone else hear of such a tradition?
    
    Paul

    
    
    -1
    
      Yeah .. My Dad would give the family his blessing..
    
    
    
    David

    I havn't seen it mentioned yet, but in my family my dad was *ALWAYS*
    responsible for the anual "spiking of the egg-nog"!!!  Mom just didn't
    have the knack for blending  Juuuuust the right ammount of booze with
    the nog to get that, shall I say... BOLD yet not overbearing mix!
    
    Right about now, this years batch should be "mellowing" in the fridge,
    and I can't wait to test it next Thursday night!!!!!!
    I guess my dad's chemistry background *DOES* have a practical use...
    
    Happy Holidays to all,
    
    Tom

    My father has a Christmas "tradition" that drives me crazy! Every year
    around 3 days before Christmas, he calls e and asks me to pick up
    someting for Mom from him. Every year I ask him a month in advance if 
    I can pick something up for Mom and he says no but he never gets off
    his chair to get there. So when all my stuff is waiting to be wrapped.
    When the last package of dinner rolls and bottle of wine are yet to be
    picked up. When I'm going crazy making sure everything is perfect, I
    get that inevitable call that lets me know I'll be taking that extra
    trip to the crowded mall on Christmas week! If it weren't for Mom's
    sake I wouldn't do it!
    
    Kate

    I always get the tree, make it fit the stand, and hang the lights,
    checking bulbs, wires, etc.  Many lights stay lit.  Others flash.  You
    just can't hang them any ole way.  These are jobs most fitting for men
    because wymins can't seem to get a handle on hanging lights and trouble
    shooting problems.
    
    I quit after the lights.  The wife finishes up.  This year, I started
    training my son on the manly chores of trees and light hanging.
    

    Dad would buy the tree (actually he sold Xmas trees for awhile so we
    always got the one we wanted),put it up and put the string of lights on
    it.....helped by all our good advice. He would also hang the outdoor
    lights. Children were allowed to assist. Uncle Bud always carved the
    turkey. Uncle Bob always mixed the drinks...except for the Bloody
    Mary's...they were my responsibility. After dinner...I cleared the
    table...helped by my brother and cousin...the women would wash up and
    the men would sleep(someone would always take a picture of the men
    sleeping)...then we would all go out for a walk or to skate or to sled.
    
    Now it's a little different...I live far from 'home' and my son is
    allergic to Xmas trees. He does put up the 'fake' tree and add the
    lights. He also helps with the meal and with the cleanup.
    
    May I add here my wishes for all to have a warm caring holiday season
    and blessings on the new year.
    
    Paula

>because wymins can't seem to get a handle on hanging lights and trouble
>    shooting problems.

mutter mutter

as someone who is female and is employed with my primary job as a troubleshooter
the second bit of that doesn't sound so true, as someone who's been to art 
college and managed more than once to balance lights on a tree so they look 
good in my view and others the first doesn't.... maybe some women aren't so hot
at some of these things but seeing the hash up a group of men can make of a tree 
I certainly wouldn't say it was only women who can be a bit lacking 
iin this area... 

or is it because I'm a woman not a wymin?

>>I certainly wouldn't say it was only women who can be a bit lacking 
>>in this area... 

	Hear, hear.  I'd challenge any man to a tree light stringing
	duel any time.  This is where being anal retentive _really_ pays
	off.  

	8^)
	Diane

>I'd challenge any man to a tree light stringing
>	duel any time.  This is where being anal retentive _really_ pays
>	off.  

 You're on. Next year. You'll do MY tree. ;^)

    ...and then MY tree.  All 700 lights and 10 feet of it.

	Re: .26, .27

	It would be my pleasure, gentlemen.

	Di

    Be nice to invent throw-on lightbulbs, all tuned to a diff RF freq.
    
    Then you bombard the tree with RF energy, and the bulbs light up.
    
    Some blink (responding to one pulsing freq) others glow continually
    (on a freq that's a CW signal), etc.
    
    No wires, just a big antenna in the living room, to light the tree.
    
    ;')

    My last live-in boyfriend took the lightbulbs with him, so now I
    don't have to worry about it!  :-)
    
    Now he has a tree with lightbulbs and no other decorations, and I have
    a tree with tons of decorations and no lights.
    
    Lorna
    

    re .29;
    
    Great fun 'nuking the family at the same time..... ;-)

    Kit, why not buy the gift a month ahead whether he says he wants it or 
    not?  If he does get a gift you either have an extra this year for her,
    or one for next year.  If he needs it, your all set.
    
    Jeff