Conference quark::mennotes-v1

    
    I'm against mixed marriages if you mean ...
    
    A human and an animal  or
    A adult and a child
    
    IMO any two (consenting adult) humans should be able to get married
    (and not deal with any society garbage) and they are no more mixed than
    any other combination of two humans.
    
    Greg
    

    	The real problems I have seen in marriages stem from cultural
    differences, and a racial difference often implies a cultural
    difference. For someone I didn't know well I would advise against a
    mixed marriage for that reason - it stands a good chance of failure
    because of cultural misunderstandings.
    
    	My own children I would not advise against a mixed marriage because
    the local school in Valbonne has children from 38 nationalities and
    they have all had friends (and enemies) from almost every ethnic and
    cultural category - they understand what is involved and can make an 
    informed decision.
    
    	In cases where the difference is only race and not culture the
    stress is only from the outside (as in .0) and any worthwhile marriage
    should be able to survive that. Where the difference is culture and
    *not* race it is more likely to be a problem.

    Myself and every one of my siblings is/has been involved in
    inter-racial relationships.  
    
    An inter-racial relationship is a real great way to experience the
    entire spectrum of human responses because the responses range from
    indifference to indignance, from passive acceptance to violent
    rejection.
    
    You learn two things real quick:
    
    	1) There are a lot of racist dickheads in the world who are
    	   violently opposed to inter-racial intimacy
    	2) Violent racist dickheads have glass jaws

    G'day,
    
    It's not just attitudes that I would like to talk about.  But
    differences in culture and expectations.
    
    The cultural differences can cause alot of misunderstanding and when
    you finally see why your partner behaved in the way they did it gives you 
    a greater understanding.
    
    In a mixed marriage you certainly have to be alot more open to new
    experiences.  These experiences are not only within the relationship
    but from the outside world.
    
    One thing that people forget is that the couple is not a mixed couple
    but two human beings.  It's often the case that racist do not see this.
    I wonder if it's as simple as racism that causes people to react in the
    way that they do.  Or is it that the accepted norms of society have
    been violated and people find this threatening.
         
    Sunil

    I am a white guy who was involved in a relationship with a black woman
    for about a year, and, unlike Kris, I never met any violent racist
    dickheads, or even any racist dickheads, or even found detectable racism.
    We were, for all practical purposes, ignored.
    
    This may have to do with the ethnic melting pot that is L.A., but we
    also had no problems when we travelled to other areas.
    
    Maybe moving to Los Angeles is the solution? %^).
    
    

    Love doesn't see no colour, and that is right in my sight. Because only 
    love can overcome the boundaries, that society puts on peoples mind.
    Of course it is easier not to reflect about things that don't concern
    us immediately, and adopt societies point of view, without ever getting
    in touch with it personally.
    The more inter-racial couples there is, the more people have to put up
    with it, think about it, get in contact with the whole deal. If once
    personally involved, I know lots of people changed their minds and
    learned to see the person more than the coulor. Of course it is hard at
    first, being a pioneer in a sense, but someone has to start. In this
    sense I wish all the pioneer sisters and brothers lots of strenght,
    someday it will repay by our children and grandchildren, who don't want
    no war in the world, because of society. 
    I'm a white woman, and my man is a black man, our daughter is mixed and
    from what I can tell, our familiy life is better than most of our 
    one-race neighbours. We speak each others language, cook each others 
    food, even adopted each others mentality - and guess what .....it works!
    S.
    

    ...who don't want no war in the world, because of society. 
    
    /p