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Conference quark::mennotes-v1

Title:Topics Pertaining to Men
Notice:Archived V1 - Current file is QUARK::MENNOTES
Moderator:QUARK::LIONEL
Created:Fri Nov 07 1986
Last Modified:Tue Jan 26 1993
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:867
Total number of notes:32923

772.0. "50 Should Haves" by TOOK::BOTTOMS () Tue Mar 17 1992 15:03

                       50 Things Every Fashionable Man Should Have

1. A fog-free shaving mirror

2. A black silk knit tie

3. Tiffany note cards on the heaviest stock

4. A single-breasted black wool crepe suit, which is the first thing to pack
   for a business trip

5. Good wineglasses

6. Black cowboy boots with sloped heels

7. Nose-hair tweezers

8. Something cashmere

9. A sewing kit that doesn't come from a hotel bathroom

10. Two sets of all-cotton, no-iron sheets

11. At least one Randy Crawford album

12. A hairbrush whose bristles are not made of new-age plastic

13. "Halliwell's Film Guide"

14. A bottle of Champagne chilling

15. A black swimsuit

16. A greath leather belt with a sterling silver buckle

17. Something your father gave you

18. Black jeans

19. A full-sized umbrella that wasn't bought on a street

20. Julia Child's "The Way to Cook:

21. White jeans

22. A leather jacket, any style, as long as it makes you feel so cool you
    can hardly stand it.

23. An up-to-date passport

24. A moisturizer designed specifically for the face

25. Two Ennio Morricone soundtracks

26. A white shirt so fine it doesn't need a tie or jacket

27. A suede brush

28. Scotch tape (for lint)

29. A bedroom with no mementos from college days

30. A topcoat that comes below the knees

31. A real madder tie

32. Silk pajamas - don't knock 'em if you haven't tried 'em

33. Two tickets to see Ella Fitzgerald, whenever possible

34. A way of seeing the sides and the back of your head, so you can tell if
    you've covered the bald spot

35. Two black tutlenecks of different weight

36. Condoms

37. A dictionary too big to fit into a briefcase

38. A bud vase

39. A pair of Ray-Ban aviator glasses

40. Birthdays of loved ones prominently displayed on your desk

41. Long silk underwear (nothing is warmer 0 ask friends who ski)

42. Health insurance

43. Enough underwear and socks to go two weeks without laundering

44. Lobster crackers

45. A Rowenta steamer, the second thing that should go into your suitcase

46. Collar stays, besides the ones that came with the shirt

47. A Burberrys Viyella shirt

48. A subscription to Consumer Reports

49. Gift wrapping, even when it's not Christmas

50. A copy of your favorite childhood movie


           Copied without permission from "The New York Times"
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
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772.1IAMOK::MITCHELLdespite dirty deals despicableTue Mar 17 1992 15:148

  	well i'd add to that list..


	black silk boxer shorts

	
772.2SCHOOL::BOBBITTstand quietTue Mar 17 1992 15:407
    there's really only one man I can think of who might even POSSIBLY meet
    all these requirements.  Unfortunately, he left DEC several months
    ago....
    
    -Jody
    
    
772.3must not be many anywhere!DELNI::STHILAIREis it all a strange gameTue Mar 17 1992 16:137
    re .2, maybe he's the only fashionable man who ever worked for DEC! :-)
    
    re .0, finally something that could make me feel sorry for MEN!  I
    never realized you guys had it so tough!   :-)
    
    Lorna
    
772.4..and access to Notes..TOOK::M_ELLISONTue Mar 17 1992 17:0320
..ok, sounds good for a city guy...what about us country boys?

	- Levi 501s.  several pairs, well worn.

	- good solid hiking boots - Limmers are fine.

	- an assortment of windbreakers, gortex and polypro layers.
	  silk is fun too...and don't forget the importance of velcro.

	- a serviceable backpack, and a spare for use by friends.

	- knowledge of trails (and firetowers) in your area

	- knowledge of when and where the berries can be picked, the
          lady slippers and trillium can be enjoyed, and where deer
	  can be sited.

	- knowing where the really cool waterfalls and swim holes are.

Mark
772.5QUARK::LIONELFree advice is worth every centTue Mar 17 1992 17:0510
I would not want to be a man who thought he had to have all or even most of those
things.  But these kinds of lists are always amusing reading, being an insight
into the personality of the author, who apparently believes that his own
personal style is the standard to which everyone else should aspire.

			Steve

P.S.  Who the heck are Randy Crawford and Ennio Morricone?
P.P.S.  "The Joy of Cooking" is at least as good as Julia Child's book.
P.P.P.S.  What is this thing about black?
772.6TIMBER::DENISEshe stiffed me out of $20.!Tue Mar 17 1992 17:585
    
    	::LIONEL
    	about black....
    	do you mean aside from form flattering???
    	its just plain ole sexy....
772.7Pfui. :-)SMURF::SMURF::BINDERREM RATAM CONTRA MORAS MVNDI AGOTue Mar 17 1992 19:0012
    Black may be sexy, but some men I know would look like last week's
    potatoes in it.  The ability to wear black implies a skin color that
    will not be made to look sallow by it.
    
    As for maybe half of the listed items, my taste isn't so vulgar that
    I'd be caught dead with them.
    
    And silk longies aren't as warm as Helly-Hansen Lifa Plus (TM).  Ask a
    comfort-conscious cross-country skier instead of a fashion-conscious
    downhiller.  :-)
    
    -dick
772.8BRADOR::HATASHITAHard wear engineerWed Mar 18 1992 13:2110
    I have every item on the list except that -
    
    	- I prefer real pain to champaigne
    	- my note cards aren't Tiffany
    	- I don't need nose hair tweezers ("knock, knock")
    	- cashmere is girlie
    	- my belt with the silver buckle is made out of steel mesh
    	- I don't have a bald spot ("knock, knock")
    	- my aviators are Revo (Ray Bans are chinsy)
    	- my subscription is to the Scientific American
772.9AIMHI::RAUHI survived the Cruel SpaFri Mar 20 1992 11:422
    How about a pair of Siberian water roller skis. And a two pound right
    angle slush puppy. 
772.10SA1794::CHARBONNDThank God! the _whiskey's_ saved.Fri Mar 20 1992 12:136
    51. an ultra-light rod and reel for those times when only the
    small fish are biting
    
    52. an extra car key
    
    53. one good book that you can stand to read over and over
772.11;^)HEYYOU::ZARLENGAHerm, ya scarin' the fish!Fri Mar 20 1992 15:123
    1 house
    2 cars
    47 women
772.12Git yer priorities straightBRADOR::HATASHITAHard wear engineerFri Mar 20 1992 17:563
    1 house
    2 women
    47 cars
772.13DELNI::STHILAIRElet your soul & spirit flyFri Mar 20 1992 18:192
    re .12, must be crowded around your place - especially the driveway.
    
772.14NOVA::FISHERRdb/VMS DinosaurFri Mar 20 1992 19:511
    A home in each state!
772.15now that I think about itMILKWY::ZARLENGAHerm, ya scarin' the fish!Fri Mar 20 1992 22:463
    re:.12
    
    It's gotta be easier to keep 47 cars hummin' than 47 women.  :^)
772.16MORO::BEELER_JETwo stepin' wid' dogsFri Mar 20 1992 23:123
    Speak for yourself, Mr. Z.  :-)
    
    Bubba
772.17who needs a car anyway.NOVA::FISHERRdb/VMS DinosaurSat Mar 21 1992 10:133
    Ok, Bubba, 47 pickups.  :-)
    
    ed
772.18IAMOK::MITCHELLdespite dirty deals despicableSat Mar 21 1992 10:2710

>      <<< Note 772.11 by HEYYOU::ZARLENGA "Herm, ya scarin' the fish!" >>>
 
>    1 house
>    2 cars
>    47 women


	no pussy's or bow wow's ???
772.19you-know-who would have it to personnel by Monday at 8am!MILKWY::ZARLENGAHerm, ya scarin' the fish!Sat Mar 21 1992 12:181
    Kits, I'd have to be SUICIDAL to reply to that one ...  :^)
772.20great comeback Mike!RIPPLE::KENNEDY_KACat-AnonSat Mar 21 1992 14:205
    Hey Kits, you might want to change that to meow-meow's and bow-wow's...
    that way it would rhyme and you are protected from incoming missiles! 
    8*)
    
    Karen
772.21VMSSG::NICHOLSconferences are like apple barrelsSat Mar 21 1992 14:468
    re:.15
    
    <It's gotta be easier to keep 47 cars hummin' than 47 women.  :^)>
    
    depends on how well the conductor wields his baton.
    
    
    				herb
772.22SUPER::DENISEshe stiffed me out of $20.!!!Mon Mar 23 1992 12:573
    
    	nah....if we're talkin about Z....its gotta be a prestidigitator
    	and his wand....
772.23Nature's great cycleESGWST::RDAVISAfter red, gray was easyWed Mar 25 1992 22:305
    The only things a Real Man really needs are a bathrobe and a bottle of
    Wild Turkey.  In warm weather, drop the bathrobe and add mint and ice
    cubes.
    
    Ray
772.24GIDDAY::MORETTIBorn free...Taxed to deathThu Mar 26 1992 04:167
    
    Kris almost had it right :
    1 House
    47 Ferraris
    No women
    
    Five times bitten..forever shy/terrified/scared
772.25See note title... :-)NOVA::FISHERRdb/VMS DinosaurThu Mar 26 1992 06:343
    Yer missin two things mate!
    
    ed
772.26He's a real (mint-)bruiserVALKYR::RUSTThu Mar 26 1992 12:474
    Re .23: All _right_! Now we're talking! (And I perceive that the warm
    weather approacheth...)
    
    -b
772.27TIMBER::DENISEshe stiffed me out of $20.!Thu Mar 26 1992 14:054
    
    	snookums... (::RDAVIS)
    	you forgot the toothbrush.....for those up close and personal
    	moments.
772.28No complaints yetESGWST::RDAVISAfter red, gray was easyThu Mar 26 1992 14:293
    Why do I need a toothbrush when I have mint?
    
    Ray
772.29maybe the one was too polite to say N E thingTIMBER::DENISEshe stiffed me out of $20.!Thu Mar 26 1992 14:353
    
    	the mint doesn't do a thing to remove that awful green
    	stuff that sticks to your teeth.
772.30Missed opportunitiesESGWST::RDAVISAfter red, gray was easyThu Mar 26 1992 14:478
>    	the mint doesn't do a thing to remove that awful green
>    	stuff that sticks to your teeth.
    
    Tsk.  Wouldn't you know, I was originally going to make a remark like
    "And as for flossing, there's always those 47 women" but I figured it
    would get the reply deleted.
    
    Ray
772.31TIMBER::DENISEshe stiffed me out of $20.!Thu Mar 26 1992 15:593
    
    	that is naughty, snookums....
    	you're going to get *it* now!
772.32IAMOK::MITCHELLdespite dirty deals despicableThu Mar 26 1992 16:535
>    "And as for flossing, there's always those 47 women" but I figured it
 

	you need 47 womyn to floss your teeth ??

772.33A Real Man knows when public conferences are inappropriateESGWST::RDAVISAfter red, gray was easyThu Mar 26 1992 20:023
    Answered in mail.
    
    Ray
772.34IAMOK::MITCHELLdespite dirty deals despicableFri Mar 27 1992 02:257

  	<----  mail recieved

		
	amazed in maynard   :-)
	
772.35DELNI::STHILAIRElet your soul &amp; spirit flyFri Mar 27 1992 12:384
    re .33, .34, nosy in Littleton.  :-)
    
    (just kidding)
    
772.36IAMOK::MITCHELLdespite dirty deals despicableFri Mar 27 1992 12:478

  	<---.35

		it was naughty....very very naughty....


		still amazed in maynard    :-)
772.37FMNIST::olsonDoug Olson, ISVG West, Mtn View CAFri Mar 27 1992 13:333
Oh, I'd bet Lorna got it.  ;-)

DougO
772.38TIMBER::DENISEshe stiffed me out of $20.!Thu Apr 02 1992 19:474
    
    	::RDAVIS,
    	you've don't have a naughty bone in your body.
    	tell her!