| Jerry,
There are definitely positives and negatives... I exchanged for 3
weeks and loved it, and parents hosted two French high school students
for 3 weeks, one positive, one negative...
Lots of things to consider, but for the first time, I would definitely
go with the German - having to concentrate on understanding their
English can get to be quite a chore when done continually. (Which you
would still do, as part of their 'job' is to learn better English, but
it is much less frustrating when you could communicate in a common
tongue - BTW, it gets weird, because you'll likely talk to them in
German, and they would likely reply back to you in English :-) You are
also (at least we were) the entertainment director, which can be fun
(as you see things you 'always wanted to but never got to'), but also
draining, as you try to think of what exciting thing to do tonite (you
feel guilty whenever they seem bored...)
And, even though they have pocket money, you will of course spend quite
a bit of your own for food, more use of household utilities and stuff,
and you may find yourself becoming a chauffer (not sure if its
different for a year, but ours couldn't drive only being here 3 weeks).
Loss of privacy, money, and time would have to be the biggest negatives.
However, on the positive side, you get to learn a lot about YOUR
culture, as well as the world they live in, by watching TV and
discussing world events through THEIR eyes... and I'm sure a resident
of Germany for the past few years would be very interesting and
educational to talk to!
Other aspects to consider are the impact on your family life - if you
have kids that age, there are positive things that a new friend brings,
but the kids also act like caretakers... which they may or may not
enjoy, and of course you would spend less time with them, which they
may or may not resent. If you don't have kids, or they're grown, be
sure that you're not just trying to offset the empty nest syndrome,
because you will lose some flexibility in your lifestyle...
Basically, it depends mainly on the individual, and I would try to
learn as much as possible about the person before committing, if at all
possible (I can't imagine it would not be possible to at least read
something about them seeing they would be in your home for a year..)
Its fun, but its not all fun for the host family...
Let us know what you decide, and if you want to discuss further, call.
ML
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| .1> Lots of things to consider, but for the first time, I would definitely
.1> go with the German - having to concentrate on understanding their
.1> English can get to be quite a chore when done continually.
I've already decided on this aspect of it - definitely German.
.1> You are also (at least we were) the entertainment director...
I've thought of this also - Southern California is F U L L of
attractions/places/ that I'd like to see and do also - that's not
really a problem and we love to get away for the week ends.
.1> Loss of privacy, money, and time would have to be the biggest negatives.
Privacy? When I was married I lived in a house with my wife, two girls,
a female dog and a female bird! I'm used to "lack" of privacy.
Money, fortunately, is not a real problem.
Time, manageable.
.1> However, on the positive side, you get to learn a lot about YOUR
.1> culture....
I'll have to be careful to NOT turn him/her into a redneck! :-)
.1> If you don't have kids, or they're grown, be
.1> sure that you're not just trying to offset the empty nest syndrome,
.1> because you will lose some flexibility in your lifestyle...
Well ... there *is* a bit of the "empty nest syndrome" here. I was divorced
four years ago and my kids are still in Texas - and I don't see them that
often - so - yes - there is a side of me that does want kids around the
house again ... is there anything wrong with the "empty nest syndrome"?
The "household" consists of this old USMC warhorse and my house-mate (US
ARMY Staff Sargent) and we're both looking forward to sharing some of the
finer things of life (Disneyland, Universal Studios, San Diego Zoo, Knotts
Berry Farm ... and other cultural highlights of Americana) with someone.
.1> Basically, it depends mainly on the individual, and I would try to
.1> learn as much as possible about the person before committing, if at all
.1> possible (I can't imagine it would not be possible to at least read
.1> something about them seeing they would be in your home for a year..)
I will have the opportunity to interview the person and can opt for either
male or female.
So far .. most of what I've seen as a result of this posting (in other
conferences) is "good". I'm still weighing the pro/con ... but .. it's
looking GOOD that I'll ... 'go for it'.
Bubba
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| we just finished having a German boy exchange student (sr in HS).
Language is not an issue, his English was nearly as good as mine, just
lacking a vocabulary. We were NOT to speak German at home, since one
of the major reasons for being an exchange student is to "perfect" your
english.
Tax law allows you to take some miniscule deduction each month the
student is with you, but it no way represents the added food and hot
water expense of a teenaged boy.
He came over with a credit card and got money, charged things just
about anytime he wanted to. This was good and bad.
The relationship was more distant than I expected, almost as tho we
were running a bed-and-breakfast. He essentially never had friends
over or introduced us to his friends at school or in public.
We didn't learn much from him about Germany as I had lived there a
couple of years and my wife for 13 years and we go for a visit every
couple of years.
Our other child was 11 and the age difference may have contributed to
the distant relationships.
We found a mixed experience and have decided to hold of at least a
couple of years before reconsidering it.
/s/ Jim Williams
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| It will be unlikely to work out exactly as you expect, but some of
the surprises may be pleasant.
Last summer we had an 18 year old German girl here for several
weeks. The idea agreed beforehand was that in return for keep, a small
amount of pay, and a chance to practice English in the family, she would
keep an eye on my younger daughter (10 at the time) and speak to her in
German so that my daughter would get a good German accent.
The two of them spoke nothing but French together!
The up side of it was that the German girl is about the same age as
my elder daughter, and they got on well together. She may well come to
visit us again, but as a guest and friend of the family this time.
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