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Conference quark::mennotes-v1

Title:Topics Pertaining to Men
Notice:Archived V1 - Current file is QUARK::MENNOTES
Moderator:QUARK::LIONEL
Created:Fri Nov 07 1986
Last Modified:Tue Jan 26 1993
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:867
Total number of notes:32923

524.0. "Aggression" by TMCUK2::NAIK (Man with the Eastern Charm) Thu Oct 11 1990 12:01

Attached article appeared in a leading UK Daily.
I have faced racial harassment at times, but has been able to cope easily
with my Eastern Philosophy.

girish



	Men are twice as likely to be victims of aggression

An EXPERIMENTAL course at 50 schools is to teach teenagers how to cope with 
aggression on public transport, at work and social occasions.
"Well Safe", which after a trial will be recommended as a permanent part of
secondary education, was launched yesterday by the Suzy Lamplugh charity trust.
It emphasises that, sexual harassment apart, men are more than twice likely to
suffer verbal abuse and silent aggression, and both sexes react "very 
differently" under threat.
"The idea that aggression and violence while travelling to work,at work or on
social occasions is exclusively a female problem is not the case," said Miss
Barbara Pagan, the trust's education project advisor.
"Aggression and violence come in many forms : from verbal abuse, sexual or
racial harassment, innuendo, even silence, to threatening behaviour or full
scale assault.
"Our research has shown that men are more likely to suffer aggression when
they come to face fellow travellers, clients, customers, patients, colleagues
or perhaps the boss.  Women are better equipped than men to deal with, defuse
or avoid aggression."
The trust was formed after the abduction of estate agent Suzy Lamplugh who 
disappered in 1986.  No trace of her was ever found.  The aims are to prevent
aggression at work and to help relatives and friends of missing persons.



Source : Daily Telegraph, UK
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524.1FSTTOO::BEANAttila the Hun was a LIBERAL!Thu Oct 11 1990 12:2521
    I suspect they are probably correct.  In my experience, over many years
    in this business, *most* of my business dealings have been with men
    (though here in Bedford, I'd say the numbers are much more evenly
    balanced between sexes).  
    
    I grew up in a time when boys/young men were cultured to be
    somewhat aggressive and assertive, and girls/young women were to be
    less so, and there were somewhat clearly drawn lines guiding the
    relationship between men and women.  It seems a natural conclusion that
    when an aggressive man deals with another man, a greater degree of
    aggression occurs than when that same man deals with a woman.  
    
    And it naturally follows that a woman, reared to be polite and
    non-aggressive, would have developed better skills at avoiding
    confrontational situations.  
    
    I think these things are changing now...  and I'd not be suprized if,
    in 20 or 30 years the study mentioned in .0 came to a different
    conclusion.  (I'll be surprized if I'm around to see it, though! 8*)
    
    tony
524.2Women fight women in Chicago highschoolDOOLIN::HNELSONEvolution in actionThu Oct 11 1990 16:2812
    All Things Considered on National Public Radio recently did a series on
    Lincoln High School in Chicago. The focus of the series was on racism,
    but they did an additional "unexpected findings" report that the bulk
    of the violence *recently* has been among women. They interviewed a few
    who said they were cutting out of school early to avoid being beaten up
    (but they were still being beaten up). The report emphasized that this
    was new this year.
    
    Pretty disturbing: I'd hoped that blurring of gender roles would work
    in the reverse direction.
    
    - Hoyt
524.3?DUGGAN::MAHONEYTue Oct 23 1990 15:461
    very "ladylike" in my opinion... and something not to be proud of.
524.4(Not that I agree with anyone's violence at H.S.s!!)CSC32::CONLONCosmic laughter, you bet.Tue Oct 23 1990 15:563
    
    	Do you think women should behave like ladies all the time?
    
524.5Violence sux.SELECT::GALLUPDrunken milkmen, driving drunkTue Oct 23 1990 17:5315
>    very "ladylike" in my opinion... and something not to be proud of.


	No, not something to be proud of.

	But just what is "ladylike"?  Is it COOL for men to fight, but
	women should be prim and proper?


	If so, I'm going to be ill.  Fighting is not something to be
	proud of at all....REGARDLESS of your gender.


	kath
524.6WMOIS::B_REINKEWe won't play your silly gameTue Oct 23 1990 18:487
    .3  ::mahoney
    
    while I don't approve of young women (or young men for that matter)
    fighting in school, I think your choice of words to criticise the
    behavior i.e. 'ladylike' was rather odd.
    
    BJ
524.7NRUG::MARTINGUN-CONTROL=Holding it with both handsWed Oct 24 1990 00:521
    BAIT ALERT!
524.8WMOIS::B_REINKEWe won't play your silly gameWed Oct 24 1990 01:395
    Al dear,
    
    no bait, just a wonderment
    
    'mom'
524.9CONURE::MARTINGUN-CONTROL=Holding it with both handsWed Oct 24 1990 11:201
    Guilty Conscience Bonnie?  :-)
524.10WMOIS::B_REINKEWe won't play your silly gameWed Oct 24 1990 11:483
    nope, not in the slightest
    
    :-)
524.11NITTY::DIERCKSBent, in a straight world...Wed Oct 24 1990 15:3513
    
    
    Bonnie:
    
    I think I would go so far as to refer to the "ladylike" comment both
    sexist and condescending.
    
    And, unless the author of the note is from Chicago (are you?), that
    person probably has little, if any, knowledge of the deplorable
    conditions in the Chicago inner-city schools.  They are regarded as
    among the worst, if not the worst, big-city schools in the nation.
    	
    	Greg
524.12Oops, I guess that snotty virus has got me againDOOLIN::HNELSONEvolution in actionWed Oct 24 1990 17:1623
    Are we then to infer that "gentlemanly" is an insult? If so, hasn't the
    language lost something? If I applied the term "ladylike" to someone, I
    would mean it as a pure compliment. I would mean that the person had
    good manners, was well-behaved, displayed adult and dignified demeanor,
    and so on. If the person was male, I'd call him gentlemanly. Surely it
    shouldn't be demeaning, to indicate that someone has these attributes.
    
    I wonder if "ladylike" is tainted by the expression "little lady" which
    I would opine *is* condescending. How about "lady of the house?" Should
    we more properly say "oldest resident female?" Should we abandon all
    English idiom which is older than (say) 1972 because it can be
    construed as offensive, if the insultee tries hard enough? Or should we
    get on with it, possibly reserving enough good will and energy to
    actually *do* something about (say) violence in the public schools.
    
    Actually, quibbling about language is much easier and tons more
    comfortable. Here:
    
        Too bad about those girls fighting in the public schools, huh?
                            ^^^^^
    Next!
    
    - Hoyt
524.13WORDY::GFISHERWork that dream and love your lifeThu Oct 25 1990 19:3317
>    If I applied the term "ladylike" to someone, I
>    would mean it as a pure compliment. I would mean that the person had
>    good manners, was well-behaved, displayed adult and dignified demeanor,
>    and so on. 

Exactly.  Define "ladylike" actions and then compare then to the 
actions of gentlemen.  Also, compare them to the actins required to be 
a successful corporate lawyer, for instance.  I think that you will 
find that restricting ones actions to "ladylike" behavior fosters 
inequality with men and disempowers women to be able to succeed in the 
business world.  

It's hampering in a way that "gentlemanly" isn't.


							--Ger