Conference quark::mennotes-v1

It seems to me a "safe" way of testing the waters, to see if you're
available.  Keep in mind that the story of "the jealous boyfriend with
a gun" is a popular theme in songs and other folklore (eg. the song "I
Think She Likes Me" by the band Treat Her Right), and most men would want
to see if it was safe to proceed.

To me, it's like these calls I keep getting asking if I've gotten my
newspaper delivered ok.  If I say "yes", then they thank me and hang
up.  If I say "No, I don't get the paper", they try to sell me a subscription.
Either way, they have an "out".

So next time it happens, just take it as a sign of interest, and say something
like "I don't have one - yet". 

					Steve

    RE .0
    
    > Why do guys ask this?   
    
    1) Not asking can be hazardous to your health.  Just because you're
       not wearing a ring doesn't mean that there isn't a jealous 6'6"
       bad tempered gorilla lurking somewhere.
    
    2) Asking can save some embarassing situations when the boyfriend
       (if there is one) returns from shooting pool (or whatever).
    
    3) Most guys will not try and 'move in' on someone elses 'territory'
       if the girl already has a date.
    
    fred();

    re .1:

    > To me, it's like these calls I keep getting asking if I've gotten my
    > newspaper delivered ok.  If I say "yes", then they thank me and hang
    > up.  If I say "No, I don't get the paper", they try to sell me a
    > subscription. Either way, they have an "out".
    
    Steve, don't give them an "out".  Bait them.  Me, I LOVE these calls. 
    A couple of times a year the Telegraph shows up at our door.  I know
    the call is imminent.   It usually goes like this:

    	Them: Did you get your newspaper today?
    	Me:   I'm not sure, was I supposed to?
    	Them: Yes, you should have.
        Me:   Let me check with my wife.  (I usually just stand there 
    	      for a minute or two)
    	Me:   Nope, no paper.
        Them: Well, er... would you like to subscribe?
        Me:   No, I don't subscribe because the paper never gets delivered
              reliably.
        Them: Oh, but we have a new delivery person since the last time you
              subscribed.
        Me:   Let me get this straight.  This new delivery person was 
    	      supposed to deliver a paper to me today to help you in this 
              sales situation.  They didn't.   Why should I believe 
    	      that they will deliver the paper any more reliably 
              at other times?

    It usually ends there, or shortly thereafter.

    - M

    Maybe the guy is really trying to pay you a compliment,
    but he is so nervous about it getting refused, and him
    looking like an over eager puppy that he can't just say
    it straight out.
    
    What he might be trying to say: "It's hard for me to
    believe that someone who is as ____fill_in_blank____
    as you is without a boyfriend!"
    
    Bill

    I agree with those who think that the guy who says, So, where's your
    boyfriend? is just trying to figure out if you're available, and I
    don't think there's anything wrong with that.
    
    Lorna
    

    
    Certainly it would be more convenient if women unaccompanied by
    a knuckle-dragger could make that fact known.
    
    However it would only be a matter of time before some other
    knuckle-dragger would begin to make a nuisance of himself.
    
    

    
    When I was dating, I knew of no way other than being blunt about
    asking about boyfriends:
    
    I once dated an unwed mother who was waiting for the father of the
    child to get out of the service.
    
    I once dated a woman who was engaged, but could date until she got
    married?!?!
    
    I once dated a woman with 14 boyfriends. I was number 14 and could only
    got out with her once every 2 weeks. She stopped dating one man and I
    moved up to number 13. She stopped dating us all when her boyfriend came 
    back from out of town.
    
    I started asking up-front. Although I enjoyed the dates, I was looking
    for someone un-attached.
    
    Guy
    

    knuckle-dragger.  i like it.
    
    i also liked the story about the 14 boyfriends......
    
    "Sure, but I'm only available on alternate Tuesdays.  Here is my
    number, you can leave a message on the machine.  Gotta run, I see
    number 11 has just walked in!"

    I don't want to sound overly cynical, but from a womans point of view,
    did you ever wonder if maybe he's got a girlfriend and assumes since
    he's out on the side, you might be too?
    
    I have had guys ask me why I was single, (cuz I already said no
    boyfriend) etc.... and once it turned out the guy had a girlfriend 
    and never told me (I found out the hard way) and another time, the guy 
    was honest and said he had a long time girlfriend but that she was going 
    back to school.  I could tell he really cared for her so I kept my hands 
    and heart to myself!
    
    For the most part, I agree with the basic opinion that the man in
    question is testing the water - but it wouldn't hurt to throw the
    question back at him either!
    
       Tracey
    
    

>                       <<< Note 497.10 by LEDS::TBROWN >>>
    
>    I have had guys ask me why I was single, (cuz I already said no
>    boyfriend) etc.... and once it turned out the guy had a girlfriend 
>    and never told me (I found out the hard way)



    At least I know I'm not the only one.  Nothing like a RUDE awakening,
    eh?

    kath    
    

    Someone asked me last night "So why arn't you married?"
    
    
    Why should I be ?
    
    
    Tracie ...

    
    > Someone asked me last night "So why arn't you married?"
    
    	My response is often - "Because I don't *have* to be. And you?"
    
    	-Erik

    
    Send me a self-addressed envelope with sufficient postage and I'd give
    you a couple of reasons anytime...
    Well, if it comes to odd openers for conversations, how about "Do
    you have a vasectomy?"...someone asked me this as an ice-breaker in a party
    some years ago...normally a fluent conversationist, I couldn't quite
    get off after this start...(at least we found out it was due to some
    confusion during finger-pointing at another guy who had one..)
    ...Paul      

      I suppose it's best a guy asks you silly questions to break the ice..
     after all if he just came straight out and asked are we all right for
    SEX tonight you'd probably slap his face.
    
    
    
     Colin.. (never had a slapped face yet)    

    Then ask....do you drink smoke , ar you too old to cope...if they say
    no then say shall we .... !