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Conference quark::mennotes-v1

Title:Topics Pertaining to Men
Notice:Archived V1 - Current file is QUARK::MENNOTES
Moderator:QUARK::LIONEL
Created:Fri Nov 07 1986
Last Modified:Tue Jan 26 1993
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:867
Total number of notes:32923

434.0. "Divorced Father's Group" by CSTEAM::LOWBER () Fri Mar 30 1990 17:12

    Are there any divorced fathers who wish to join a divorced fathers
    discussion group?  My name is Peter. I am just in the 
    process of divorczcing.  I have
    joint custody of my two children (boy 10 yrs old; girl 7 yrs). 
    I would like to share experiences and discuss issues and problems
    we all face.  Despite the fact that lots of people are divorced
    or are divorcing, there doesn't seem to be too many support groups.
    Parents Without Partners is good for activities and meeting people,
    but I am also looking for a more focused way of talking about things
    with those in a similar situation.  Professional therapy is one
    route, but a peer discussion type of group, I think, offers great
    potential for breadth of experience sharing and possible problem
    solving, as well as building a support network.  As another
    possibility, the group could also consider hiring a professional 
    facilitator.
    
    I live in the Boston area.  If you're interested, please send me
    a note, or call me at home (617-288-8946 after 6:30PM, and
    on week-ends).
    
    				
    
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434.1QUARK::LIONELFree advice is worth every centFri Mar 30 1990 18:5315
This is a good idea.  Some PWP groups (such as the Nashua chapter) offer
frequent discussion groups on various topics.  There is a new notes conference
for "non-custodial parents", which I have not looked at, but it seems that
it would not really cover the situations of joint custody (which is my
situation as well).

I would invite you to at least start here, since many men who read this
conference are divorced and have various experiences in different custody
situations.  You may find a lot of what you are looking for in an active
discussion here.

You may have less luck finding people to meet separately, as we are spread
across the world...

				Steve
434.2try theseCSC32::HADDOCKAll Irk and No PayFri Mar 30 1990 20:057
    Note 414 -- Bias against fathers--mentions a father's/children's rights
    group.
    
    CSC32::NON_CUSTODIAL_PARENTS is a notes file for non_custodial
    parents and their s.o.'s.  
    
    fred();
434.3In the UK!UTRTSC::D_ARNOLDLive Your StoryTue Apr 03 1990 10:1410
    For anyone who is interested, there is an organisation in the UK called
    "Families Need Fathers".
    
    I saw an advertisement (on the tube), and the number is 01-886 0970,
    which is a London number.  Sorry, this may be of no relevance to our
    friends overseas, but may prove of value to Brits.
    
    Regards,
    Derek
    
434.4SALEM::KUPTONTue Apr 03 1990 13:177
    For general Info:
    
    In this past Sunday paper's PARADE, there was an excellent article
    about fathers who are raising children today and being a single
    father.
    
    Ken
434.5Hard to do but worth trying!!WILKIE::NOWICKIWed Apr 04 1990 02:3026
    
    
    Peter, I am a divorced father of four - and I have been trying to find
    a group such as the one you suggest ever since the separation three
    years ago. Most of my attempts have been frustrating; most of the
    people who gravitate to support groups (in my observation and
    experience) are still so preoccupied with their own hurt to have much
    energy left for the kind of effort you seem to have in mind. Many
    groups focus on activities aimed at finding someone. And though Lord
    knows that there is nothing wrong with fighting loneliness, you are
    right on the money when you talk about the need for a group that
    focusses on the special needs and problems of the divorced father.
    
    I find remote parenting very trying and very painful - for my children
    as much I'm sure as for myself. I feel and have long felt the need for
    a community of shared experience. I wish you the best of luck, I'll
    call you and invite contact from others in a like situation and with
    similar goals.
    
    Jack Nowicki
    CSS::NOWICKI
    
    DTN 264-1086
    Home: (603) 641-2852
    
    
434.6must get organizedCSC32::HADDOCKAll Irk and No PayWed Apr 04 1990 21:5723
    I have been involved in a couple of Father's/Children's rights groups.
    I even made the front page of the local paper when I helped picket
    the court house a few years back.  I believe that nothing will really
    change in this area until non-custodial parents, their s.o.'s and
    non-custodial grand-parents get organized into a political force
    with some real political clout.  Most organized "equal rights" groups
    are adamently opposed to any changes in this area unless it involves
    child support and child support collections, and they're the *only*
    ones with any clout to bring to bear on legislators and the judicial
    system.
    
    The problem that most non-custodial rights organizations miss is 
    that this problem is also a CHILDREN'S RIGHTS issue.  Children have
    a RIGHT to maintian a relationship with their non-custodial parent,
    and children have a RIGHT to live witht he parent that is best able
    to meet the childs needs regardless of the gender of the parent or
    the bias of the judicial system.
    
    Probably the most organized national group right now is a group
    called F.A.I.R.  Address: Vepco Office Bldg Box 389, Camden, De. 19934.
    Ph (800) 722-FAIR. 
    
    fred();