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Conference quark::mennotes-v1

Title:Topics Pertaining to Men
Notice:Archived V1 - Current file is QUARK::MENNOTES
Moderator:QUARK::LIONEL
Created:Fri Nov 07 1986
Last Modified:Tue Jan 26 1993
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:867
Total number of notes:32923

200.0. "Men and Nightmares" by YAZOO::B_REINKE (where the sidewalk ends) Wed Dec 16 1987 22:29

    As a result of a recent note that has been very helpful
    in womannotes...I would like to ask here if there are
    men in this file who have recurrent nightmares and what
    they are and how they deal with them.
    
    thankyou
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
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200.1stiff upper lips, or what?CIRCUS::KOLLINGKaren, Sweetie, Holly; in Calif.Thu Dec 17 1987 21:454
    I find it somewhat fascinating that no one has replied to this note.
    There are a jillion replies to the parallel note in womannotes.
    Do men not have nightmares that bother them to any significant degree?
    
200.2Everyone's argueing over in WOMANNOTES!STARCH::WHALENHe who laughs lastsFri Dec 18 1987 01:0718
    Well, I guess I'll try to start it.
    
    Most of my nightmares don't really bother me.  Occasionally, I'll have
    a "scary monster" one; after I wake up, it's makes for a good laugh.
    Another one that I have at times is finding myself locked outside my
    house (I live alone), with little if anything on.  It's mostly just
    embarrassing.
    
    At one point this past summer, I was having some "waking nightmares"
    that really disturbed me.  I was having thoughts of responding to
    the littlest things with violence.  It really bothered me, because
    I am not a violent person.  After a couple of weeks, I figured out
    what the cause was - I had a lot of anger that I had to deal with.
    Since I've dealt with the anger, the thoughts have stopped, and
    I'm back to a happier life now that I'm not having those disturbing
    thoughts.
    
    Rich
200.3RANCHO::HOLTWhy do we want to go to Mars?Fri Dec 18 1987 02:416
    I occaisionally relive VN experiences in dreams. Usually they are
    variations from what actually happened (far more terrifying 
    than reality), and leave me breathless and sweat soaked and
    wondering why I'm still alive at the alarm, blanket and sheets 
    soaked.
200.4SanctuaryXCELR8::POLLITZFri Dec 18 1987 03:309
        My nightmares occur primarily during the day. Sleep is
     my sanctuary from them. Perhaps I am an exception, but I 
     rather doubt it. I suppose this is a sign of a really 
     depressed person. 
        Maybe some action in WWIII (182) would liven me up. Alas
     there are no takers.
    
                                                  zzzzzzzz,
                                                           Russ
200.6BIG creepy bastardSPMFG1::CHARBONNDWhat a pitcher!Fri Dec 18 1987 12:263
    There was a tarantula on my shoulder last night. Running through
    a plaster wall head first took care of him though. Woke up with
    a headache. Gotta avoid that Molson Gold.
200.7PFLOYD::WROTHBERGWB1HBBFri Dec 18 1987 12:5214
                Throughout my  childhood and teenage years, I had 
                a recurring nightmare,  the  substance of which I 
                could never remember.   I  only know I woke up in 
                sheer terror.  I never  did  find  out  what  the 
                dream was about, but I was  living  in an unhappy 
                environment as well as being unhappy with myself.
                
                After  leaving home and getting some professional 
                help, they just stopped.
                
                I  suppose  my  dreams  were  just symptoms of  a 
                larger terror.
                
                Warren
200.8Not any recentlyNEXUS::MORGANIn your heart you KNOW it's flat.Mon Dec 21 1987 19:4311
    I used to have nightmares as a child. The usual mummy chases Mikie?
    around thing. Lotsa' fun. Flying saucers were a problem to until
    I stole one for myself.
    
    Now I just have scarey dreams usually with violent encounters. No
    matter how many times I shoot or stab those guys they never fall
    down. B^)
    
    Since I've done some headwork, dealing with personal shadows and such I
    have found that even the scarey dreams are fun. I haven't had a
    nightmare in 4 years or so.
200.9You *don't* want to hear it!DPDSAL::BEELERMon Dec 21 1987 21:1721
    The nightmares that I have are of the type of subject that I
    could possibly put into a forum such as this -  surfice it to say
    that while wearing a USMC uniform in South East Asia, in 1964, there
    were some things that I did that cause me severe and extreme problems
    with sleep, to this day.  If you want details I'll contact you off
    line but I don't think that a great deal of people would be interested
    in reading some very horrible experiences.
    
    How do I handle it?  Well, I have  a relatively easy time with it,
    I have very simply done without sleep for a long time and continually
    convince myself that what I did was sanctioned - I  had a job to
    do, and I did it - very simple.  Actually, the dreams do not happen
    more than about once a year so it's not that much of a problem with
    the single exception of the fact that *after* one night of the dream
    I think about it for about a week - then - no problem until the
    next time.  As a general rule the only time the dreams come up is
    when someone questions me about my experiences.  It has become easier
    to discuss recently, but is still not easy.
    
    Jerry Beeler
    Lubbock, Texas
200.10Jungian insightsYAZOO::B_REINKEwhere the sidewalk endsTue Dec 22 1987 20:2435
    The following answer was sent to me by a man who said I could 
    enter it in this note.
    
    From personal experiences, and also in living with someone who had
    "hellish violent nightmares", and in applying the Jungian principles,
    they are an indication of deep rooted personal problems; which if
    the victim chooses, can be helped (probably ..EVERYthign is probable
    or maybe, eh ?).
    
    Also, in applying "dream analysis concepts", nightmares / dreams
    become a personal insight to within ones own id, and whatever symbols
    may be true for one, are not necessarily true for another.
    
    Nightmares may also be a warning of physically impending doom or
    dissaster if the victim fails to change something; or they may mean
    noting more than a stylized replay of a particularly bad day.
    
    
    If one were to pursue therapy based on "dream analyisis" (only some
    do so, as some people still consider Jung to a be  quack of sorts),
    the first question to the counselor should be "Do you use Jungs
    dream therapy techniques ?" It is only one technique, and the failure
    of the coumnselor to use it does not indicate competence or a lack
    of it.
    
    The book "Man and his symbols" is a good resource for some
    understanding of dreams, but I THINK that books of the ilk "Dreams
    - 1001 symbols and their meanings " should be held in distrust.
    Its up to the patient to determine whether or not a particular symbol
    "makes sense" to them. 
    
    The whole thing is completely intuitive, and like so many other
    of lifes equations, we need to find our own answers.
    
   
200.11CURIE::DECARTERETThe 12 Pains of ChristmasWed Dec 23 1987 16:024
    	I actually enjoy having nightmares.  I like being able to control
    my dreams, so I make myself super powerful or something like that.
    I think nightmares are kind of fun, kinda like going to a horror
    movie.
200.13CURIE::DECARTERETI have a 120 watt recieverSat Jan 02 1988 02:304
    Exactly.  There was an article in the April issue of OMNI that
    explained in full detail how to make yourself have lucid dreams.
    
    				-=*>Jason<*=-
200.14A Purpler Haze?XCELR8::POLLITZSat Jan 02 1988 03:357
    re .11 to .13   Hmmmm, perhaps I should read that article. Then
                  at least, my daily nightmares would be in lucid
                  form. Unfortunately, I don't think they can poss-
                  ibly get any more clearer than they already are.
                    But, you Never Know.
    
                                                         Russ
200.15CURIE::DECARTERETTea for Two and Two for TeaSat Jan 02 1988 20:097
    Re 200.14
    
    	I don't think that it is supposed to make you understand your
      dreams better or anything, I just think it's a fun kind of thing.
    
    				-=*>Jason<*=-
      (0
200.16equal reproductive rightsXCELR8::POLLITZFri Jan 08 1988 22:2010
    re .15   A few yrs back OMNI said that in 1991, Men will be able
             to have babies. Some kind of implant.
          
             I asked my mother about this. She said, " Good, I'm all
             for it, YOU think it's easy - go ahead - TRY IT."
    
             Just think of the new legal nightmares THIS will bring.
    
                                                       expecting,
                                                                 Russ
200.17MPGS::MCCLUREWhy Me???Tue Jan 12 1988 13:198
    I've had some beauts in my adult life. Kid's nightmares usually
    contain goblins or gremlins or such. Adult's nightmares usually
    contain everyday situations gone wrong. My favorite (makes sense
    to me) explanation, is that something is bothering your subconscious
    mind and the dreams are a way of working them out. On the other
    hand, it could have been the anchovie pizza 8-).
    
    Bob Mc
200.18Had one last nightVENOM::MCKINNONWed Jan 13 1988 14:1811
    Funny I should find this note. I had a nightmare last night. This
    same nightmare is reoccurring. I always dream that my children die
    or get hurt bad. Sometimes my wife has to wake me because i hyper-
    ventilate. These dreams are real scary. I can't figure why I have
    them. Another reoccurring nightmare is when I am a mercinary going
    to free some people. I always get bullet riddle by machine guns
    and I actually feel the bullets penetrating my skin. Again I need
    to be awakened because I end up hyperventilating. Must be a reason
    behing these crazy dreams but they are awful.
    
    Dennis
200.19CURIE::DECARTERETWoah!! Too mellow for me!!Thu Jan 14 1988 00:568
200.20AXEL::FOLEYRebel without a ShrewThu Jan 14 1988 03:349

	I have a re-occuring dream that happens about once a year.
	I dream that there is a giant spider in the back
	yard of a home in Dorchester (where I used to live as a kid)
	and my friend John is trapped in there.. Bizzah dream..
	It's been ongoing for about 15 years..

						mike
200.21noVENOM::MCKINNONThu Jan 14 1988 14:068
    RE:19
    
    No I've never been shot. I simply can't tie those dreams into
    anything related in my life.
    
    Confused!!!!!
    
    Dennis
200.22freud's dream analysisEUREKA::DENISEeverything in moderation...Fri Jan 15 1988 14:317
    
    	freud could surely do a number on you, dennis....
    
    	bullets because of their shape are considered phallic...
    	and you said feeling bullets entering ....hmmmm...
    
    	
200.23Give me a break!!!!VENOM::MCKINNONFri Jan 15 1988 14:503
    not a chance.... it's more than that for sure.
    
    Phallic???? I never liked frued (SP) anyway
200.24I know you were joking...MPGS::MCCLUREWhy Me???Fri Jan 15 1988 15:135
    re .22
    
    Entering my body would be - penetrating my flesh isn't.
    
    Bob Mc
200.25 look sigmund, its *NOT* penis envy!EUREKA::DENISEeverything in moderation...Fri Jan 15 1988 15:469
    
    	re.  .24
    	penetrate & enter (in my dictionary) can be used interchangeably...
    	but i really don't want to argue semantics....
    	but perhaps point out that freud would *probably* think 
    	that his nightmares of being bullet-ridden may have something
    	to do with being controlled (in one form or another) by a man.
    	
    	denise
200.26a little sickningVENOM::MCKINNONFri Jan 15 1988 18:455
    re:22  yes that is penetrating the flesh ....... 
    
    never thought my nightmare were so deep.... what then about my 
    children always being hurt, Denise? What does what does freud
    have to say about that?
200.27elucidate, expound, more detail....etc..EUREKA::DENISEeverything in moderation...Fri Jan 15 1988 19:1111
    
    	that all depends what the focal point of your dream is,
    	is it your children being hurt with you being bullet
    	ridden as a result of their rescue, or are you ALL being
    	bullet-ridden at the same time for whatever reason?
    
    	it makes a difference, ya know... 
    	anyways ....in defense of freud, he does make for some 
    	thought provoking discussion, does he not?
    
    	
200.28GCANYN::TATISTCHEFFLee TFri Jan 15 1988 20:0410
    re .22, .27
    
    In all deference, if it were _my_ dream you were discussing with
    such glee, I would be extremely angered by the tone.  The man had
    a very bad dream, for goodness sakes!  To joke around implying that
    his whole way of [married] life is in contradiction with his inner
    [homosexual] desires is callous, totally inhumane, and maliciously
    cruel.
    
    Lee
200.29re .22, .27, .28HIT::GLASERSteve Glaser DTN 237-2586 SHR1-3/E29Fri Jan 15 1988 20:5911
>                                         To joke around implying that
>   his whole way of [married] life is in contradiction with his inner
>   [homosexual] desires is callous, totally inhumane, and maliciously
>   cruel.
    
    Not to mention awfully homophobic.  There's more than just one guy
    being insulted here.
    
    Steveg
    

200.30no useVENOM::MCKINNONMon Jan 18 1988 14:195
     I for one think this went in the wrong direction. I merely was
    telling what i dream once in awhile. I never expected to be told
    that I have tendencies which I do not wish to discuss. 
    
    Re:: 28-29   Thanks
200.31response/defense follows:EUREKA::DENISEeverything in moderation...Mon Jan 18 1988 19:1112
    
    	rushing to my own defense....
    
    	i was only making assumptions concerning the dream and freud's
	*supposed* analysis of it (based on his `dream interpretations'
    	....observe... no ph.d at end of name.... it was done to infuse 
    	a little noting exchange.
    	gawd you guys are touchy....
    
    	dennis, you ought to know better than that of me....
    
    	:-)
200.32Another Male Nightmare... :-{EXIT26::SAARINENTue Mar 29 1988 18:1922
    I have had this recurring dream for a number of years of 
    being in World War 1, in the trenches, waiting for the
    commander to blow the whistle to signal "going over the
    top" to face a wall of enemy machine gun bullets. 
    
    I've seen the first two waves of soldiers try and make an
    attack, and seen them all massacred as they tried to
    rush the enemy's position. I am in the third wave of soldiers
    and there are dead and dying soldiers crying and asking for
    medical attention strewn all around me in the trench and just
    yards away from me. I am in a cold sweat, gripped with terrifying
    fear.
                                               
    I have my rifle in hand, and am just waiting for the whistle to
    blow. 
          
    The waiting and the anticipation is the nightmare.
                                
    When I saw the movie "Gallipoli" I felt I was there.
    
    -Arthur
         
200.33SERIOUSLY NOW, DENNISGRANMA::MWANNEMACHERTue Apr 12 1988 20:2932
    This is in reply to the memo from Dennis about his children being
    hurt.  I have had similar dreams about my daughter.  So has my wife.
    They either deal with someone trying to take her or for me, a criminal
    being in the house.  I think it has to do with the anxiety of being
    a parent.  I think many fathers and/or husbands feel as thought
    the security of the family rests on them. (As in fact it usually
    does)  I contributed it (in my own case) to being a fairly new father.
    And knowing that the safety of these people I care so deeply for
    rests mostly on my shoulders.  That, my friend, is a heavy load.
    I think it is interesting that there are others who experience the
    same anxiety.  Try waking yourself up in the case of a bad dream.
    I have been able to do this since I was younger.  When you try to
    yell and you can't, you are at a point in your sleep when you are
    bordering on concious.  Make a conscious decision to wake up.  Tell
    yourself you are dreaming.  Wake yourself up.  It will take a few
    times, but with practice it can be done.
    
    
    REPLY TO  DENISE: Freud is a horses *ss!  That man had so many sexual
    hangups that it's a wonder he wasn't found to be the sexual deviant
    his ideas showed him to be.  Anyone who prescribes to his way of
    thinking shouldn't be taken seriously.
    
    ON INTERPRETTING DREAMS: I think people try to look so deep into
    peoples dreams that they crawl so deep down a rathole that two things
    happen. 1) They miss the reality of the situation by looking right
    past it. 2) They screw normal people up by telling them (or suggesting
    to them) something which puts doubts in the persons mind as to their
    integrity.
    
                                              Hope this makes sense,
                                              Mike
200.34Going up?HPSTEK::CONTRACTORFRAZLDTue Nov 08 1988 14:5017
    There was a period of my life, in my mid-twenties I think, when
    I was always having disaster dreams such as skyscraper fires or
    earthquakes. I never figured it out.
    
    I have had two recurring dreams over the years. In one I usually
    am in a social situation and everything seems to be going smoothly
    when suddenly I realize I am naked! No one seems to notice but I
    get *extremely* panicy.
    
    In the other dream (and this is the weird one) I'm going up in an
    elevator and it doesn't stop! It goes right thru the top of the
    building shooting up into the sky. I have time to look around but
    I always wake up before I start to fall.
    
    Right now my daymares are worse than my nightmares.
    
    Charlie