| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 159.1 | over 40 with kids | COMET3::PAPA | | Tue Oct 06 1987 03:50 | 8 |
| In response to your comment about kids, I am 47 single with 3 kids
living with me 2 boys age 7 and 10 and one girl age 20 . Also reciently
I have had to move my dad in with me. so between the kids and my
dad I figure any woman who would want to get in the middle of that
is probably crazy. In addition I am so busy between kids,dad and
hobbies I havent got a minute left over for anything. I do try
to squeeze in some work once in a while to pay for things.
|
| 159.3 | | ANGORA::BUSHEE | George Bushee | Tue Oct 06 1987 12:54 | 5 |
|
Then there are some of us that are just out here
not in any big hurry to change the "single" status....
:^)
|
| 159.4 | (Grown-Up) Girls Just Want to Have Fun | TOPDOC::JAMES | | Tue Oct 06 1987 13:13 | 13 |
| <- My, but aren't we being a tad paranoid ? (half a smiley face
here). The base note talks about friendship and relationship - how
does that transfer into "losing the single status"?
As a 40+ woman, the *last* thing I want is to burden (yes, as in
too-heavy) myself with another husband. I like to meet and relate
to men my own age, but as Momma always said, you don't have to take
them home and keep them.
I'm in no hurry to lose my freedom, either!
stel
|
| 159.6 | | MTBLUE::FOOTER_JOE | | Tue Oct 06 1987 14:43 | 4 |
|
Perhaps a bunch of us over 40 guys just happen to prefer younger
women!
|
| 159.7 | TO MANY RESTRICTIONS | COMET3::PAPA | | Tue Oct 06 1987 15:28 | 13 |
| IT LOOKS LIKE A MULTIPLE SET OF REASONS WILL MAKE OVER 40'S COUPLES
RARE.
IT SEEMS A LOT OF OVER 40'S WOMEN DONT WANT TO DEAL WITH KIDS
FROM MY EXPERIENCE A LOT OF MEN OVER 40 DONT WANT TO DEAL WITH
THE WOMANS KIDS.
A LOT OF MEN OVER 40 ARE INTERESTED IN WOMEN UNDER 40
A LOT OF MEN OVER 40 WHO ARE SINGLE HAVE BEEN DRAGGED THRU
DIVORCE COURT A COUPLE OF TIMES AND ARN'T ABOUT TO HAVE THAT
HAPPEN AGAIN.
WHEN YOU ADD IT ALL UP THE ODD OF AN OVER 40'S MATCH SEEM REALLY
SLIM. THEIR ARE TOO MANY RESTRICTIONS BY BOTH THE MEN AND THE WOMEN
TO ALLOW ANY GOOD MATCHES.
|
| 159.9 | Opinion of an under 40 male | SSDEVO::B_GRAHAM | | Tue Oct 06 1987 16:29 | 16 |
| In reference to .5 - I think your comment concerning "isn't that
what women do anyway?" is totally off the wall. Evidently, you
don't understand women or have gotten involved with the wrong ones!
But in response to the original note - I am an under 40 male and
prefer women over 40 for friendship as well as intimacy. Granted
there are inherent problems with the age difference, but there are
differences in any relationship which the two people bring to it.
Either you are open to accepting/changing or you're not. I don't
see much chance of anything if you expect everything to be just
right from the start. There's two people involved at all times
or it's not a relationship at all. So I really don't think the
age difference has as much bearing as the personalities and
expectations of the people involved.
By the way, I have no need for pampers and I don't have pimples!
|
| 159.10 | | CSSE::HAKIM | | Thu Oct 08 1987 12:38 | 19 |
| I'm findng this discussion quite interesting. Seems I fall in the
middle somewhere. I've dated men 10 years younger and 10 years
older. I definitely prefer the older. But even when you have all
the "apparent assets" (e.g. divorced, no children, good profession,
good income, younger than 40 older than 30, and good looks) there's
always something else you don't have. I can't help but wonder if
people don't make some kind of excuse because they just can't deal
with possibly failing at another relationship. I've also found
that older individuals have reconciled themselves to "soloing"
and fill their lives with some many activities and commitments that
they have no time to start a relationship. Either that, or a
relationship is not high on the priorities list. Having run into
these situations numerous times, I've simply taken myself off the
market out of total discouragement. I have to believe that I am
not a unique case and that many people do the same. I don't know
that there is a solution, but the black hole seems to keep getting
larger.
Ann
|
| 159.11 | | APEHUB::STHILAIRE | You might think I'm crazy | Thu Oct 08 1987 14:37 | 8 |
| Well, .0, you heard'em, now are you sure you still want one :)?
If you're going to put any effort into "getting a man" you may
as well make it worthwhile and try for somebody under 40, instead
of some dissillusioned old fuddy-dud :-)! As .9 said, all men under
40 don't have pimples or babies, my SO doesn't.
Lorna
|
| 159.12 | | QUARK::KLEINBERGER | MAXCIMize your efforts | Sat Oct 10 1987 11:43 | 13 |
| The one thing I have found with men over 40 (or approaching 40 fast!)
is that they are so set in their ways, that they CAN'T for the world
understand compromise... Its either their way (cuz they have been
doing it so long [or thats the way there mother did it]) or no way
at all.
A good friend once told me, that Dr. Ruth is famous for saying that
if a man is single at 40, he won't ever marry (yeah, I know, ever
is a very strong word)... but I can see where she is coming from...
Just my 5 cents worth...
GLK
|
| 159.13 | and about that bridge... | MPGS::MCCLURE | Why Me??? | Mon Oct 12 1987 14:49 | 8 |
| Generalities are usually too general 8-).
Just prior to my 41st birthday, I decided to end a 17 year marriage.
Just after my 42nd birthday, I married a woman 21 years younger
than me and am now the proud father of my first child. Stuck in
my ways and can't think about compromise? Sure, right.
Bob Mc
|
| 159.14 | Same as what some women want ........ | BETA::EARLY | Bob_the_Hiker | Tue Oct 13 1987 15:16 | 35 |
| re: .12
Uh huh .... 'over 40 men, huh ?' ..... I guess you must mean SOME
men (as well as some women, too ?) ...
Actually, Gale makes a good point: Once a person finds a lifestyle
that's amenable to themselves; have achieved a certain modicum
of security, comfort, and regularity ... why throw it all away
and start over ?
Actually. to .0 , I think many men are looking for the same thing
many women are: A comfortable relationship they can call 'ours'.
Its much nicer to wake up in the morning to the sound of crickets
instead of complaints and screeching. Its not bad to look over at
the wallpaper peeling and decide to "do something about it someday"
without needing to feel rushed into it ..........
Some single men can handle multiple relatonships, sort of like
having more than one type of music, with the realization that to
mae one person "superlatively happy" would be to disappoint the
rest, and make them very sad.
What do men over 40 want ? Peace, quiet, private pilots license,
a 'nice young 21 year old women on thier arm', dancing, hiking ,
a mountain retreat, a seaside house, a sailboat, a trip to Europe,
Skiing .... pretty much what some "over 40 women" want (including
the young women).
I couldn't tell you what *I* want. I didn't know when I was single,
but what I have isn't what I predicted or asked for, but I am very
happy with my "older woman".
Bob+3
|