Conference quark::mennotes-v1

    One reason for the particular behavior you describe:
    
    When you've been a mother for a couple of years and had to clean up
    various disgusting forms of various bodily fluids and semi-fluid
    substances from a wide variety of surfaces not intended to absorb such
    substances, you tend to grow calloused  -- and to forget that everybody
    else hasn't had the same toughening experiences you have.  It's sort of
    like talking to an emergency room nurse -- "I have to buy a new
    pair of shoes tomorrow, the old ones got ruined when that biker's
    guts slopped on them . . . "
    
    --bonnie

    set flame/Kerry_like
    
    Bonnie I have worked in hospitals for 5 years
    I have seen all the gore I will ever need to see
    I also washed all of moi kids diapers for two years (by hand)
    I have participated in many sports 
    I, I, I, I. gone now is sadness. oops ratway.
    I still see no need to tell whoever answers the fone in moi dept
    that i have terrible cramps from the bubonic plague or whatever
    else.......unless it is a disease that requires lengthy time away
    from work noone needs to hear that crud.......

    Hm. Well, obviously that's not it, then.  
    
    If it's not mere careless callousness, then I haven't got the faintest
    idea. I have noticed the phenomenon of which you speak, but since
    I seldom go into graphic details of my illnesses, either, I'm totally
    at sea. 
    
    --bonnie
    

    But, Kerry, when WC 4's call into work a simple "I won't be in today.
     Will you write it on the board?" is accepted by all.
    
    If you had ever been a WC 2, female secretary trying to call in
    sick to a male manager boss, you might have realized that a little
    gore and description helps remind them that you're a human!
    
    Lorna (always ready with the gory details)
    
    
   

    remember Lorna I wasn't always a wage class 4.
    
    do you think mo sewer diggin bos cared if I told him 
    i' puking blood out of my nose
    
    and I didn't forget you either bonnie
    Thank you for a simple honest opinion.
    Which clearly indicates that women differ tremendously.
    

    Re .5, my opinion was quite honest.
    
    But, I'll admit.  Nothing about me is simple.
    
    Lorna
    

    
    
    	Just one more case where you can't/shouldn't generalize....
    I know men who do exactly what you are describing as typical 
    woman's behavior.  His description of how sick he is/was is 
    disgusting.  Not to mention is moaning and groaning in an attempt
    to convince people around him that he really *is* sick!  
    
    	Maybe women feel they must justify their absence?? Or maybe
    they want people to feel sorry for them as does the man I referred
    to earlier. 
    
    	Your guess is as good as mine!  
    
    	Myra

    
    
    	Now where is Beth "Gory Details" Ravan when we need her???
    
    							mike

    When I first came to work at DEC (as a WC4) I simply called
    in and said I was sick or had to take care of a kid. Then we
    started getting speaches in staff about people taking days off
    when they weren't really sick. So I started giving details.
    and with another supervisor even those details weren't enough -
    I even asked him if he wanted me to get a note from my doctor -
    and I wasn't out very often - about once a month was my average,
    for both caring for sick kids and being sick myself. As a result,
    however, I have become somewhat parinoid about calling in sick
    and feel that I have to give a lot of details to be believed. 
    Bonnie J
    
    

    Well, given Ms "gory details" Ravan's absence (?), I'll sub for
    a minute.
    
    <gross out alert>
    
    Bodily fluids are just another part of being human.  We all have
    to pee sometime, everyone gets a snotty, runny nose sometime, we
    all pass gas at some inappropriate time: so what's gross about it?
    The word "vomit" doesn't make me see all sorts of ugly colors,
    hearing the word "diarrhea" doesn't make me *smell* what is happening
    to you, so why would someone saying they have a hard time keeping
    food down be gross??
    
    I just don't understand people's sensitivities on that issue, I
    guess.
    
    
    re .0, why do women do this more than men?
    
    <second, more severe (I guess) gross out alert>
    
    
    Perhaps because we have so many different kinds of weird secretions,
    we get more used to talking about them??  I mean, if you all had
    weirdo blood coming out of you one week out of every four or five,
    maybe you'd get inured to discussing the "gory details."  :)
    
    Lee

    
    	Re -.10
    
    	So I guess we all *dont* have any "weird secretions" that
    happen in "one week outta every 4 or 5". Get real!
    
    	Perhaps we've learned that certain inate responses dont need
    to be reiterated explicitly. Perhaps we've learned this too well...
    
    	Yes, I'd say the matter is viewed quite differently. I like
    your view better, but I'd say that the level of detail is a matter
    of taste. 
    
    	(hope this leads to something more interesting)
    
    	Joe Jas
     

    Woman do seem to "want approval" but they also seem required to justify
    their actions more than men are.   The "gory details" justify using
    one of their employee benefits...almost as if they didn't have a
    right to be sick in the first place.  Women who are comfortable
    with their boss and their position don't feel pressured to "prove"
    they require sick time.  Rather than question why women do it Kerry,
    maybe we should ask why they feel they have to?  (a boss with poor 
    management skills perhaps?) :-) 

    Gosh, I never thought I'd be famous...
    
    I didn't want to respond to .0 because it's YAG (Yet Another
    Generalization). As it happens I've known more men than women who
    go into the "gory details" about illnesses, and not just their own.
    As with so many facets of human behavior, what we observe depends
    on *who* we observe.
    
    BTW, my particular fondness for gore (aka "morbid curiousity") doesn't
    apply to most of the symptoms of the sickbed. I'm into catastrophes and
    coroners' reports, death and disaster - I've never known why, but
    there it is. 
    
    You'd never know it to look at me,
    -b ("Gory Details")

Course, it couldn't have anything to do with such asides like truthfulness 
could it....?

    Or could it be that women have more experience describing their
    physical condition?  Most women have spent considerable time in
    various doctor's offices, whereas men usually don't require a 
    doctor until later in life.

    
    Heh, I think it's only fair, if I'm going to be sick, throwing up,
    bleeding evry four out of 5 days, and feel like a dog just used
    me like a fire hydrant, then I think the person on the other end
    of the phone should be sick too.....
    
    		Mike
    

    i was told i needed a doctors note to go to the bathroom when i
    was sick,but still working...
    				kelly

    It's pretty interesting but when you are in elemenatary school, your
    mother or father called your teacher and let them know that you
    weren't feeling well and proceeded into relating all the gory details
    because the teacher so inquired.  You hear the one side of the
    conversation.  Then, you get to high school and you don't have to
    call in at all.  THEY CALL YOU!  And then you tell them that you
    weren't feeling well and they command you to bring in a note from
    your parents or your doctor (depending on the illness).  Then, you
    get to college (if applicable).  When you're sick, you just don't
    go.  PERIOD!!!!!  That's all.  Then you enter the corporate world
    and in order to receive a paycheck, you need to come in, OFTEN!!!
    But, if the need be that you should not be physcially or mentally
    capable of putting in a good 8 hours work, you get out of bed, dial
    into your manager, who never seems to be there at 8:15 when you
    call, and give a description of what is wrong with you versus, "I'm
    calling in sick today".
    
    I wish it were sooo easy to just say "I'm calling in sick today"
    without someone saying, "what is your workload like today?" and
    then I am forced to stay out of my warm, comforting bed and relate
    to this person the responsibilities of the day.  I think in the
    future I will say, "I am responsible for getting better, I don't
    feel well and I'm going to bed.  I'll talk to you when I get back
    to work".               
    
    It's true about WC4, you know, I answer the telephones in the morning
    for a large group and the differences in explainations are very
    clear: WC4 employees say, "could you mark down on the board that
    I am out sick today", PAUSE, WAIT FOR YOU TO SAY SOMETHING and WC2
    employees say, "I'm not feeling well today, blah blah blah, could
    you let (mgr) know, this thing is going around, my symptoms are <blank>,
    you know how it feels when you get a cold and can't get rid of it",
    let (mgr) know that I and my daughter/son are going to be checked
    out at the Doctor's and so on and so on.  Really, by the time they
    are finished explaining that, they could have driven to work already.
                                      
    Cathy (who takes mental health days (due to stress), calls in sick
    but doesn't know how to explain it and whether she should).
    

    Who says women give details and men don't?
    
    I'd like to know on what study you base your "much too broad"
    statement.
    
    
    jacki
    
    

    vraiment simple
    
    bulk wordage 
    womannotes vs. mennotes
    8,000,000,000.0000      to     4
    
    WHAT'D I DO NOW???????????????????
    

    re  .22     nutin. dez jus sic.