Conference quark::mennotes-v1

    To me most men seem to be more complex than most women.  I think
    that this is probably because since I am a woman I have a little
    better idea what most women are looking for in life.  But, then
    if I tried very hard I could think of exceptions.
    
    I imagine it probably seems the same (except opposite) to most men.
    
    In other words, neither sex is any more complex than the other. 
    It just depends on how well you *think* you understand them.
    
    Lorna
    

    
    The complex one is the one you aren't.
    
    Naw.  It can't be that simple, can it?
    DFW

  I'd be willing to bet that most women would reply that men are more
  complex than men and most men would reply that women are more complex...
  
  
  							Terza
  
  

    Of course, then there are some of us who simply sit back and enjoy
    some of the complexities. :-)
    
    Ann

    .4 beat me to it, but I think that the *opposite* sex always seems
    the more complex.  We better understand our own sex and not the
    'other' sex.  Men grew up talking to men, women grew up talking
    to women, therefore, each understands the group that they grew up
    talking to.
    
    spence

    RE: .1
    
    	Bob, I think you missed the point.. "Complex" is NOT an insult
    nor was it meant to be..
    
    RE: .6
    
    	That's fine but I have no trouble at all talking to a female
    friend as a friend and nothing else. (some women who read this
    conference are those friends) It's when you toss love (or heavy
    like) into the situation it confuses the opposite sex. That's
    when I go "Huh?? What??".
    
    						mike

    Gee,...I think men are FAR more complex than we are....ESPECIALLY
    when you toss love into it.  Maybe it is just a case of not really
    being able to understand the opposite sex.

I don't think women or men are more complex, I think people in general are
complex!  It seems to me that we are all basically products of our own in-
dividual histories ( ie, our past experiences contribute to what we are now ).
As we tend to develop ideas and opinions from each new experience, it's not
surprising we seem complex when you think of just how many different such
events we go through!

HOWEVER, as males tend to go through similar circumstances as other males, and
females the same as other females, we would be more inclined to form like
ideas with the same sex.  This might account for why the other sex appears
more complex.  We just don't have the same set of experiences to draw upon.

I do disagree with the idea that the opposite sex is incomprehensible; it may
take more work/time, but I do think it's possible!


That's my theory, for what it's worth.


Brian

    I think that when you get men and women interacting with each other -
    that's when it becomes complex! :-)
    
    	-Ellen

>    Gee,...I think men are FAR more complex than we are....ESPECIALLY
>    when you toss love into it.  Maybe it is just a case of not really
>    being able to understand the opposite sex.

Doesn't the attempt at intimacy introduce you to the complexity of a 
human being?  Once you introduce love and sexual attraction into it, then 
you [try to] uncover deeper layers of a person, deeper than you would 
if you were just friends.

I am a man who dates other men.  It's only when I am attracted to 
other men and attempt to date them that I realize their "complexity."
I have quite a few male friends, heterosexual and gay, who don't seem 
all that complex to me.  I guess that depends on how deeply you are 
willing to dig...


					--Gerry

    Well...I'm note 2.92....
    
    I didn't realize that my reason for reading Mennotes.."Hope to learn
    more about the complex opposite sex" would start a discussion.
    
    I did not mean that adversely. I find most men to be interesting,
    kind, loving human beings. I guess being a woman, I do not completely
    understand men, just as men do not completely understand women.
    I've had men tell me that I'm complex....but...me being me can't
    see where I'm complex at all. 
    
    So, to the author of note 79.0, I'm sorry if you felt my remark was
    negative, it wasn't meant to be. 
    
    kathie  

    Kathie,
    Don't be put off because your note sparked another note.  Many times,
    I will read something somewhere that sparks something in my brain
    that I've been wondering about.  I reread .0 and I don't think it
    was intended as a rub.  He was sparked by your comment.  Besides,
    if it causes a good discussion, maybe even an argument, then its
    worth it to me.
    
    Hang in there,
    Spence

    RE: .12
    
    	Hi Kathie,
    
    	I apologize if I came off sounding negative.. Quite the contrary.
    	What Spence said is the way I feel. It's something that I had
    	been thinking about for a while and your comment sparked my
    	entering the topic.  That happens when you play catch-up noting..
    	:-)
    
	   					mike

    RE: .13,.14
    
    Thanks Spence and Mike,
    
    You have reinforced by belief that men are sensitive and caring.
    
    kathie
          

    
    	I suspect that both men and women are equally complex but that
    members of the opposite sex (or whatever you're interested in)
    appear more complex simply because we make a greater effort/have
    a greater need to understand them.
    
    	Being 'buddies' is relatively easy.  The more intimate the
    relationship, the more complex the interaction.
    
    							,Karl