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Conference quark::mennotes-v1

Title:Topics Pertaining to Men
Notice:Archived V1 - Current file is QUARK::MENNOTES
Moderator:QUARK::LIONEL
Created:Fri Nov 07 1986
Last Modified:Tue Jan 26 1993
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:867
Total number of notes:32923

38.0. "MEN'S UNDERWEAR" by TRCO01::HOBBS () Wed Nov 26 1986 17:05

    What do you ladies like?
    
    (Moderator: We'll keep it tasteful)
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
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38.1By the way...TRCO01::HOBBSWed Nov 26 1986 19:574
    I should have added that I'm a male wondering what the female
    persepective is on this topic.
    
    
38.2No BVD'sCELICA::QUIRIYChristineWed Nov 26 1986 20:107

Cotton, non-BVD (or Jockey, or Y-Front, or Fruit-of-the-Loom) type, 
bikini, all colors (even white).  A unisex sort of style.  They don't 
make 'em here in the U.S.

CQ
38.3the smaller the better ;-)VORTEX::JOVANthat's how it's gotta be...Wed Nov 26 1986 20:151
    
38.4Ooops!RDGE00::KERRELLnot a promissory noteThu Nov 27 1986 11:1410
>                        -< the smaller the better ;-) >-

heh! you don't *really* mean that do you? have you thought what that
implies?
    
Let me re-phrase that for you;

	the skimpier the better ;-)

Dave.
38.5won't want anyone to get the *wrong* idea!VORTEX::JOVANthat's how it's gotta be...Thu Nov 27 1986 11:165
    >		the skimpier the better 
    
    You're right!  Thanks for pointing out my error ;-)
    
    
38.6Variety is the spice of lifeRDGE00::MCGUIRETweekyFri Nov 28 1986 14:317
	Anything but M & S.  Everyone (males) is wearing them these days.

	It gets awfully confusing .....

    
    

38.7Huh???ANT::WOLOCHMon Dec 01 1986 01:3911
    Re; .6, Whats M & S????
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    -naive nancy
38.843570::LESLIEAndy `{o}^{o}' Leslie, ECSSE, OSI.Mon Dec 01 1986 06:221
                Marks and Spencer - a quality UK clothing store.
38.9OpinionRDGE40::KERRELLMon Dec 01 1986 08:517
>                Marks and Spencer - a quality UK clothing store.

And more to the point a *very* boring one indeed.

Dave.

P.S. Lesley mine aren't M&S, but then of course you know that :^)
38.10What underwear?NEBVAX::BELFORTEThe train is on time, HA!Mon Dec 01 1986 15:111
    NONE!!!!!!!! :^}
38.11How about........CELICA::TAMMYGMon Dec 01 1986 15:156
    Velcro 
    
    Otherwise your regular cotton underwear...... (Calvin Kleins are
    good enough)
    
    
38.12French Under-FashionBALZAC::ROGGEBANDA Suivre ===&gt;Tue Dec 02 1986 10:5512
38.14no BVDsCSC32::KOLBELiesl-Colo Spgs- DTN 522-5681Tue Dec 02 1986 21:553
    Try the International Male catalog for sexy men's underwear. Of
    course the models don't look like the kind of men that like the
    ladies but there is some cute underwear. Liesl
38.15More on International MaleRSTS32::TABERIf you can't bite, don't bark!Mon Dec 08 1986 15:0521

>    Try the International Male catalog for sexy men's underwear. Of
>    course the models don't look like the kind of men that like the
>    ladies but there is some cute underwear. Liesl

Too true!! My brother-in-law admits he's afraid to bend over with that
catalog in the room!!!

Seriously, tho', the catalog's clothes are very trendy and not-too-stylish
from the point of long-term styles... they have alot of Banana Republic
type stuff, and stuff you'd expect to see Crockett and the other one wearing
on Miami Vice.

But I've bought my husband dunagrees and some real comfy clothes there.
I have an extra catalog should anyone be interested.  It's pricey,
but no worse than Jordan Marsh...

Send me mail and the first request gets the catalog, if anyone's interested.

Bugsy
38.16NEWVAX::ADKINSMentally missing in actionSat Dec 13 1986 04:5320
    Re .15:
    
    So what is the problem with your brother-in-law? Does he have a
    fear of photographs? Or is this some kind of Archie Bunker/Jerry
    Falwell sexist remark? Perhaps you should consider changing from
    "Bugsy" to "Biggot-sy", it has that Nazi ring to it.
    
    I wonder what the earlier remark implied about the models of the
    Inernatinal Male catalog. The men in these tend toward the muscular
    and trim. Does this imply that straight men tend to the fat and
    flabby? Sounds like you have high standards and expectations.
    
    Good looking = unobtainable = Gay ( Good logic )
        
    I haven't looked into this file for about a week.
    
    Now I think I remember why.
    
    Jim
    
38.17First timer, are we?RSTS32::TABERIf you can't bite, don't bark!Mon Dec 15 1986 18:5437
    
>    So what is the problem with your brother-in-law? Does he have a
>    fear of photographs? 

No, just the usual single white male discomfort with homosexuals....

>   Or is this some kind of Archie Bunker/Jerry
>    Falwell sexist remark? Perhaps you should consider changing from
>    "Bugsy" to "Biggot-sy", it has that Nazi ring to it.

Thanks for the benefit of the doubt.... It's such a joy to hear from
people in the know.  Obviously you've run across other notes of mine in
which I denegrate homosexuality, categorize all gays as social misfits,
and in general, wouldn't want my brother to marry one!

If you'd reread my reply (or perhaps read it for the first time) you'll
notice that the opinions expressed by me about International Male were
about the style of clothing, NOT about the potential homosexuality of
the models.  

And the fact that the men are attractive has NOTHING to do with those
assumptions!  If you've ever seen the catalog, you'd see that the men
are all in extremely seductive poses, wear minimal amounts of clothing,
and, as a rule, don't interact with women!!

And what kind of assumptions are YOU dealing with in believing that
gay men can't be fat and flabby??
    
>    I haven't looked into this file for about a week.
>    Now I think I remember why.
    
Welcome back.  I suppose from your reaction you're either gay and fat and
flabby, or straight and fat and flabby.  

Next time, read the reply before you fly off the handle...

Bugsy
38.18I couldn't resist (where's my armor?)ULTRA::ZURKOSecurity is not prettyMon Dec 15 1986 20:123
    Bugsy, he's right, you are narrow minded. You forgot bi and fat
    and flabby :-)
    	Mez
38.19Not my first, but definitely my lastNEWVAX::ADKINSMentally missing in actionTue Dec 16 1986 00:3191
  I'm going to reply your note as sort of a last act before riding off
into the sunset. 

>Thanks for the benefit of the doubt.... It's such a joy to hear from
>people in the know.  Obviously you've run across other notes of mine in
>which I denegrate homosexuality, categorize all gays as social misfits,
>and in general, wouldn't want my brother to marry one!

  You imply that I am off-base because I have not read all of your
notes in this conference. One was enough. If I was to be honest,
you don't deserve the full blast on my reply. I think you should share
it with Liesl. She seems to think that she is good at playing
"Spot the Homo".

>>    Try the International Male catalog for sexy men's underwear. Of
>>    course the models don't look like the kind of men that like the
>>    ladies but there is some cute underwear. Liesl
>
>Too true!! My brother-in-law admits he's afraid to bend over with that
>catalog in the room!!!

  Granted, I have not read all of your notes. Perhaps you generally start
off your notes with a humorous twist. I'd be really sad to see that was
the case. That would mean that this blurb was what you considered to be
funny. Is your "brother-in-law" also afraid to set down his watermelons
in the same room with a copy of Ebony? Trite stereotypical garbage.

  I felt that the comment was vulgar. Not in the sense of obscene, but
in the sense of rude and offensive.

>And the fact that the men are attractive has NOTHING to do with those
>assumptions!  If you've ever seen the catalog, you'd see that the men
>are all in extremely seductive poses, wear minimal amounts of clothing,
>and, as a rule, don't interact with women!!

  Don't interact with women? How do you know? They are models. They are
on the job. What do you want, a family portrait complete with the
basset hound? I get it. Since the L.L. Bean catalogs are co-ed, they
must all be straight.

>>    I haven't looked into this file for about a week.
>>    Now I think I remember why.
>    
>Welcome back.  I suppose from your reaction you're either gay and fat and
>flabby, or straight and fat and flabby.

  Wrong. You do not win the Buick. I am gay but, sorry to disappoint you,
not fat and flabby. I realize that the bulk of your statement was geared
at fashion. But it was the first few lines that got me going.

  I hadn't checked into MENNOTES for about a week and I'd like to go more
into why. Back in 14.0 I got into the lethargy found in this conference.
MEN ( its spring-board ) was a lot more lively. This file tends to lean
toward the mundane. Most of the discussions tend toward the day-to-day
of men's existence. There are a couple of topics that address some
of the psychological/emotional aspects of men, but the bulk leans to clothing,
habits, and various inanimate objects. I'm sorry kids, but I find that 
a grade-A bore. I have to shave daily. I wear clothes. I can see what's
on me. I don't know what's IN you. That was what I was looking for in
this conference. MEN had it's rooster-strutting ( all in fun ) but it
also had a few notes in which people shared what went on inside their
heads. I think that comments like the one that I've gone after above
tend to make people think twice before stating much that would make them
appear vulnerable or open. They could be swooped down upon by some yahoo
with the sensitivity of a steel-belted radial.

  Perhaps, I have over-reacted a bit. I just happen to NEXT UNSEEN ( trying
to find a topic worth following ) and landed right square on the one
Bugsy had posted. After reading just a few lines, I was completely put
off. Well, I'm tired on NEXT UNSEENing. After posting this one, I'm
following the advice I suggested in 14.

   Bugsy, if you care to come back on this and you want me to read it,
please mail it to me ( upper left corner ). I won't be around here to
read it.

   Kids, this conference will be what you make of it. I hope you make it
something better and more enriching that the majority of what's in
here now. The reason that I haven't contributed more should be
self-explanatory. But I'm past the point now caring what is thought about
me here. I'm gone.

  Sorry to finally give up,

  Jim

P.S. Bugsy, don't equate the fact that I'm gay with the idea that I
hate women. That is not the case at all. The members of this conference
that know me from other places know this to be true. I just found this
one response to be extremely offensive.

38.20RDGENG::LESLIEreeling in the flickering lightTue Dec 16 1986 05:057
    
    Whilst appreciating it is your perfect right to go away, please
    remember that calling other noters "kids" is not the best way of
    showing how reasonable you are and how unreasonable your opponents
    are.
    
    In short, being patronising doesn't buy you any friends.
38.21What's this got to do with skivvies?BIGALO::FOOTER_JOETue Dec 16 1986 17:018
    
      Did I miss something?  I thought that he purpose of this note
    was to invite women to state their preferences on men's underwear,
    or lack thereof.  Why then do we proceed to jump all over them when
    they do?  We start a topic and then go screaming off on an unrelated
    tangent, it's no wonder that differences never get ironed out. 
    Are we that overly sensitive that we can't let them have their say?
    
38.24Jockey shorts is NOT genericGUMDRP::MCCLUREWho Me???Wed Dec 17 1986 12:1316
    Well, I guess the time has arrived for me to re-state my opinion
    in the previous version of this in the previous version of the file.
    
    One very amusing thing to me, is to walk into a MENs room and see
    some guy standing at the urinal with his trou completely undone
    and trying not to let them fall whilst whizzing. At first, I scratched
    my head and said 'what the...?'. Then it dawned on me. These guys
    were going through all this trouble because they were wearing those
    cute bikini briefs without an opening. I think guys who wear these
    things are closet transvestites.
    
    I wear regular briefs, I hate boxers (I prefer sugarless gum) and
    I'd rather not have to worry about getting any appendages stuck
    in the (YEOW) zipper. I wear v-neck t-shirts because I'd rather
    have them get stained in the pits than my outer shirts and the
    neck is still open.
38.25RE.24 that's stupid!!!!USMRW6::RNICOLAZZOBetter living through chemistryWed Dec 24 1986 01:144
     Closet transvestits?????? I have to differ with you. I think the
    type that does that is more trying to show how "macho" he is. I
    happen to wear those "bikini" shorts and have never had the need
    to drop my draws to my knees to take a piss.
38.26RDGE40::KERRELLwith a little bit of top and sideWed Dec 24 1986 07:358
re .25:

	Spot on! It was so obvious I didn't think anyone would mention it.

	I can't wear the type with an opening because they don't make the
	opening big enough.	

	Dave.
38.27Just curious...KRELL::FRASERThen, Now and Always...Wed Dec 24 1986 07:475
        Re: .26 - would that be the front or back opening, Dave?
        
        Andy 
        
        
38.28RDGENG::LESLIEAndy `{o}^{o}' Leslie, ECSSE, OSIWed Dec 24 1986 14:043
    
    Well, we're all agreed hereabouts. Dave obviously puts his underpants
    on over his head. 
38.29{RE .11} - Velcro? Ouch!!!VAXUUM::DYERSpot the DifferenceMon Jan 05 1987 05:100
38.30if you absolutely have to wear them...otherwise...USMRW1::REDICKSat Jan 17 1987 00:576
    
    
    wear the "skimpy" bikinis with the mesh fabric on the sides!!!
    
    
    
38.31They take a week to get used to, but...GENRAL::FRASHERMaster of NaughtWed Feb 04 1987 22:2318
    I only know of one man who drops his drawers to take a whiz and
    he wears white jockey shorts with the opening (in the front).  I
    don't know if he uses the opening or not, I didn't look.  I also
    have no idea whether or not it would be big enough.
    
    I'll pass over the transvestite comment.
    
    My wife likes plain bikinis in colors, anything other than white
    will do.  I think it has something to do with white being so common
    that its boring.  No prints, just solid colors.  She hates boxer
    shorts with a passion.
    
    I like cotton, I hate silk and nylon and net (they rub, I have one
    pair that's been worn twice).  I like them tight.  I wear Spalding.
    If I ever get caught skinny dipping in a mountain lake, I can put
    them on really quick and they look just like swimming trunks. 8-O
    
    Spence
38.32$.02MILRAT::KALLOCKWed Aug 12 1987 19:0921
    
    Just for the record:	I am a woman
    				I prefer all cotton boxer shorts without
    				  an "old man" pattern (little diamond
                                  shapes or something resembling shrunken
                                  kitchen wallpaper designs); plaid
    				  solid colors, or wild designs are
                                  fine.
    
    				I despise jockey-type shorts aka "tidy
    			        whities" Yecccch.  I think they look
                                like diapers on grown men, but that's
    		                just my opinion.
    
    
    			       PS Bikinis on either sex are fine with
    			       me on a body type where it is flattering.
    
    
    bye
    Ann
38.33AKA::TAUBENFELDAlmighty SETWed Aug 12 1987 20:3316
    I never got to read the old men notes file and have only read 38
    topics in this note so far, but I have to disagree with all those
    people about this being a boring note file!!  I haven't laughed
    this much in any other notes file!
    
    I think .19 won the battle.
    
    I have to agree with .31.  I like a man in a solid colored cotton
    bikini, tight, but not so small that he doesn't fit.  I hate boxer
    shorts.  I think the slots in the front look silly even though they
    save time.  No underwear????  Gross, for men and women.
    
    Sharon
    
    
    
38.34RITZ::RKEMan about THE_HOUSEWed Aug 19 1987 12:4910
>    			       PS Bikinis on either sex are fine with
>    			       me on a body type where it is flattering.
    
    
 	My body type is probibly ok for a bikini, but I'm undecided about
	whether to get the sort where the bra just pops at the front, back
	or get the one that just sort of slips over your head, what do you 
	think?

Richard.
38.35KLAATU::THIBAULTbe-bop-a-lulu, babyWed Aug 19 1987 16:289
RE: < Note 38.34 by RITZ::RKE "Man about THE_HOUSE" >
                                     -<  >-

>>	or get the one that just sort of slips over your head, what do you 
>>	think?

	I think you and GKE need to have a talk...:-)

Jenna
38.36I love 'em!CSMADM::WATKINSFri Aug 21 1987 16:5716
    My S.O. had boring underwear, he had the regular 'whities' or an
    occasional colored pair for "special occasions."  I had to take
    the matter into my own hands, and spiced his under-wardrobe up!
    He now has bikinis (underwear, that is) in ever color (except white)
    including tiger, leopard, zebra and see through.  I love them!
    He's got the perfect skinny bod for them-and I think they're great.
    I've bought him every kind Frederick's sells, except for the kind
    with the zipper in front (he's a little leery of those!) and we
    don't go near the kind that have the little "extra pocket" for whatever
    you want to put in it.  (Little elephants, alligators, etc.)  He
    said he'd feel like a puppet show.
    
    Stacie
    (Lover of bikini underwear-but hater of men who wear them on the
    beach.  Really guys!  They're underwear!  Have some modesty! Here's
    a topic in itself...)
38.37Mom hated those "meat-hangers"DELNI::FOLEYNo WPS, just chainsFri Aug 21 1987 19:3710
    RE: .36
    
    	Certainly you're joking, right? I could just as easily say that
    	women are wearing thier undergarment on the beach too.. But
    	I won't cuz I don't mind in the least.. :-)
    
    	FWIW, I haven't worn "those" bikini bathing suits since High
    	School. (when I was on the swim team and swam 3-6 miles a day)
    
    							mike
38.38DIEHRD::MAHLERYugo's for Yo Yo'sTue Oct 13 1987 18:027
38.39Malaysia's kinko-chinkoMSAM01::DANIELNGThu Feb 09 1989 04:1011
    Well, in this hot weather of ours (Malaysia), the skimpier the better.
    (Thanx for the tip on not saying the "smaller" the better) Enjoy
    wearing the Byford brand (cause I sometimes get them free from my
    cus who works there. Just kiddin!) Only wear them when at work because
    it may be embarrassing at times. Do not wear them when I am with
    jeans, especially tight ones. Do not like the flowery ones.
    Could be interesting NOT to wear it with a sarong. Let all hang
    loose.
    
    Daniel
    The kinko-chinko
38.40skimpier is betterSUBSYS::NEUMYERsun your bunsThu Dec 06 1990 16:3416
    
    
    Time to start this note up again...
    
    Can't stand boxer shorts. Where do you put all the material under tight
    jeans??
    
    My preference runs to thong style. There is very little material to
    pull and bind and they actually are very comfortable.
    
    ed
    
    BTW. Certain thongs even make great beachwear.
    
    
    	
38.41KHUMBU::SEVIGNYAnd time can do so much...Thu Dec 06 1990 16:396
    
    
    
    Thongs?  Eeeeew!  I call those "butt floss."
    
    
38.42Ouch!CSTVAX::RONDINAThu Dec 06 1990 16:463
    Thongs- aren't they those cheap rubber sandals you wear to the beach.
    Gee, as underwear, hm! How would you wear'em?  
    
38.43:-)CYCLST::DEBRIAEthe social change one...Thu Dec 06 1990 16:553
    
    	You have some courage asking that question to THIS crowd. 
    
38.44CRONIC::SCHULERYour groove I do deeply digThu Dec 06 1990 18:425
    Calvins ("Is that your name? 'Calvin?'") - briefs of course.
    
    The only way to go....
    
    :-)
38.45SWAM3::ANDRIES_LAand so it goes ...Thu Dec 06 1990 18:534
    During the business week: Fruit of the Loom will do.
    On weekends & holidays: nothing's better than nothing at all.
    
    LArry
38.46DASXPS::HENDERSONSon of a gun gonna have big funThu Dec 06 1990 18:597
I wear boxers most of time.  I had the problem with them bunching up in
jeans (not real tight either).  So I just quit wearing underwear with jeans.




Jim
38.47CAPECD::HOLLANDLife's A BreezeThu Dec 06 1990 19:304
    
    	Underwear?? who wears that???
    
    	Ken
38.49Bottom line....MORO::BEELER_JERush Limbaugh , Jr.Fri Dec 07 1990 05:2918
.48> Perry Ellis...Valentino's Bodywear...Frederick's of Hollywood....

    Mercy me.....expen$ive stuff ....just drop me off at the J.C. Penney
    store and I'll do fine...their jockey shorts are sufficient, for the
    most part I'm the only one that sees me in them (not by choice), and,
    they're .... inexpensive.

    Although, I've recently discovered some 100% cotton tight fitting boxer
    shorts at L.L. Bean that I REALLY like ... they're $8/pair ... maybe
    I'm just too damned old, but, that seems expensive to me.  I have a
    little trouble paying that much for something that only I see, and,
    when I'm with someone else in that "state" they usually come off quite
    rapidly ... I don't recall anyone saying ".....my....what plain
    underwear you have....."
    
    Comfortable and cheap ... that's what I look for.

    Jerry
38.50yuk! yuk!KIRKTN::KANDERSONthe immaculate collectionFri Dec 07 1990 08:4112


An elderly couple go to their doctor for physical exams.  The old man is nearly
deaf so the wife does most of the talking.  At one point the doctor says to the
old man "I'm going to need a blood sample, a stool sample, a urine sample, and
a semen sample from you, Sir".  The old man leans towards his wife and says 
"Wadd 'e say?". His wife leans over and shouts in his ear "He says he wants
to see your underwear!"


Katrina.
38.51WAHOO::LEVESQUENo artificial sweetenersFri Dec 07 1990 13:102
 Plain white Jockey Y fronts. Not flashy, but functional, and I always put 
function before form.
38.52old/worn/raggedyFSTTOO::BEANAttila the Hun was a LIBERAL!Fri Dec 07 1990 13:181
    
38.53The king is dead, long live the king...WORDY::GFISHERWork that dream and love your lifeFri Dec 07 1990 13:309
    
>    	Underwear?? who wears that???
    
When I was in highschool, they called this "Going Elvis."

;-)


						--Ger
38.54IAMOK::MITCHELLI thought t'was the parking brakeFri Dec 07 1990 13:5816
	
RE:  Ger

    
>>    	Underwear?? who wears that???
    
>When I was in highschool, they called this "Going Elvis."




	why?


	kits
38.56MILKWY::JLUDGATEHello hello hello hello helloFri Dec 07 1990 18:263
    not to mention the nifty colors, or stripes, or polka dot patterns.
    
    when i wear plain, i feel plain.  when i wear exciting.......
38.57MACROW::SEVIGNYAnd time can do so much...Mon Dec 10 1990 17:175
38.59WORDY::GFISHERWork that dream and love your lifeMon Dec 10 1990 19:0716
>>>    	Underwear?? who wears that???
    
>>When I was in highschool, they called this "Going Elvis."

>	why?

I tried explaining it three times in replies that I've deleted.  None 
of them really explained it well.

I'll pull a Mojo Nixon and say that, well, it's just in the "spirit" of 
Elvis (the Pelvis).

Don't read too much into it.


							--Ger
38.60Maybe wearing boxers BACKWARDS???...DOOLIN::HNELSONEvolution in actionTue Dec 11 1990 11:5610
    I wear boxers, as part of my become-a-biological-father campaign, and I
    am perpetually bothered because they will NOT keep me covered! My male
    protuberance (can we say that on TV?) in its passive, flacid state very
    frequently pokes out that ridiculous hole in the front. Does ANYONE use
    the hole they (thoughtfully?) provide in underwear? It's a drag: on
    long walks I'm abraided, and end up reaching through my pockets trying
    to twist the boxers around so the gap isn't exactly opposite my
    dangling potatoberance (<-- Pogo-ism). D-U-M-B, everyone's accusin' me.
    
    - Hoyt
38.61necessity is the....LEZAH::BOBBITTtrial by stoneTue Dec 11 1990 11:578
    *ahem* - have you thought of attaching some velcro on the outside part
    of the inner flap and the inside part of the outer flap so you can seal
    it shut comfortably?  Snaps might abrade, but Velcro
    shouldn't....particularly if the two parts are the same size and hitch
    together completely....
    
    -Jody
    
38.62VAXUUM::KOHLBRENNERTue Dec 11 1990 12:081
    Velcro is unnecessary -- just sew it up.         wil
38.63DECXPS::HENDERSONOr it could have been the windTue Dec 11 1990 13:267
Or wear them backwards ;^)





Jim
38.64Comfy alternative when rather not sleep nude... BUT :-)CYCLST::DEBRIAEthe social change one...Tue Dec 11 1990 13:4612
    
    	If there's a real reason for having the flap be so ridiculously
    	large that one could fit an entire leg thru it, then why at least 
    	don't they provide enough over-lap material over the flap to make
    	up for it? That's the part that get's me... at least give us men a
    	fighting chance of not embarrassing unexpected guests we happen to
    	find unexpectedly in our living rooms as we walk down from bed on 
    	a late Saturday morning. :-)
    
    	-Erik (for better boxer-short reform)
    
    
38.65 :-o KHUMBU::SEVIGNYAnd time can do so much...Tue Dec 11 1990 13:585
    
    
    I'm more worried about poking out the bottom than through the flap.
    
    
38.66IMPORTANT SURVEY!KHUMBU::SEVIGNYAnd time can do so much...Tue Dec 11 1990 14:1616
    
    
    I was talking to a friend about a year ago, and the subject of
    urination came up.  When I told her about male etiquette at the
    urinals, (y'know, you must stare at the Sloan Valve Company flusher)
    she was surprised to hear that many men are "over the top" when
    urinating.  She thought that ALL MEN were through the flap.  I told her
    that I knew noone who goes through the flap.  She proceeded to take a
    survey at work (I don't know how she got them to reply, or did she rig
    something up in the men's room?) but from her sampling, it seemed about
    50/50.  I would like to verify her study through this more technical
    survery. 
    
    Are you and "over the top" or "through the flap"?
    
                                                     
38.67SWAM3::ANDRIES_LAand so it goes ...Tue Dec 11 1990 14:359
    Over the top, in this and all facets of my life.
    
    Going through the flap can be a nuisance, especially after puberty;
    kind'a like trying to stuff a sleeping bag in public.
    
    Other behaviors in this arena can be surveyed but they have nothing
    to do with men's underwear.
    
    LArry 
38.68WAHOO::LEVESQUENo artificial sweetenersTue Dec 11 1990 15:233
>    I'm more worried about poking out the bottom than through the flap.

 Hint: don't pull the waist band up to your nipples. :-)
38.69VAXUUM::KOHLBRENNERTue Dec 11 1990 17:172
    over the top!           wil
    
38.70Oy! I think I'm different.WORDY::GFISHERWork that dream and love your lifeTue Dec 11 1990 19:033
	Boxers:		Through the flap
	Jockey:		Lifting the side  (childhood habit, I guess)    
38.71;-)RAVEN1::PINIONHard Drinking Calypso PoetWed Dec 12 1990 03:175
    ...you're supposed to pull It (big jim & the twins) out first?????!!!
    
    uh-oh...
    
                                                      Capt.Scott
38.72Me TooROULET::JOERILEYWed Dec 12 1990 04:515
    re:.70
    
    >   Jockey:         Lifting the side  (childhood habit, I guess)
    
    You're not alone I've been doing this for as long as I can remember.
38.75HoleEXPRES::GILMANWed Dec 12 1990 16:312
    Through the hole.  Thats what its there for, thats what I use it for.
    
38.76:^) DEC25::BERRYI'm Bart Simpson. Who the Hell are you?Thu Dec 13 1990 07:466
    
    >>>Through the hole.  Thats what its there for, thats what I use it for.
    
	I ain't say'n nothing.
    
    	-db
38.77Which way outATSE::KATZThu Dec 13 1990 13:2727
I consider it a real challenge and sometimes a painful one to attempt to
maneuver it thru the tight slit in jockey shorts, however (and I didn't notice
anyone mention this aspect) I rarely leave my pants buckled and attempt to
maneuver thru the zipper, as I hate contacting sharp metal. And I rarely ever
forget to put it back inside before closing my zipper. But I'll admit that on
those rare occasions I have to wonder who ever invented such a torture device.

I find boxers to be fun for bedtime, or even watching TV or reading, and I think
its kind of cute the way Mr Wiggly finds a way out either the bottom or the slit

By the way, I once spent about ten minutes meditating on Mr Wiggly while I was
sunbathing on a nude beach. It seemed like he had a life of his own. I guess
what happens is that there is a complex arrangement of nerves, muscles and 
whatever, that seem to be trying to acheive a comfortable position, but after
a few seconds there is something wrong with that position and a new one needs to
be found. It just goes on and on and on (like watching a curious worm).

Hey, next time you go to the bathroom, why not stop and ask Mr. Wiggly how he
wants to come out.

Has anyone figured out how to avoid spraying when you first start to urinate. It
seems like I am perpetually cleaning the floor (and once in a horrible while it
gets on my pants - but I figured out how to cover up for that, just splash water
all over myself and claim that the bathroom sink was malfunctioning).

(After reading this, I decided to hold my breath and send it. I figure I must
be in a pretty silly mood today, hopefully you'll find some of it humorous).
38.78IAMOK::MITCHELLI thought t'was the parking brakeThu Dec 13 1990 15:3812
<-----::KATZ

>(After reading this, I decided to hold my breath and send it. I figure I must
>be in a pretty silly mood today, hopefully you'll find some of it humorous).

	
	I pretty near fell of my chair laughing....

	thanks


	ktis
38.79Variations on a theme....AKOV06::SWS_EPS_DEVThu Dec 13 1990 16:1323
re: <<< Note 38.77 by ATSE::KATZ >>>

>Has anyone figured out how to avoid spraying when you first start to urinate.
 It
>seems like I am perpetually cleaning the floor (and once in a horrible while 
 it
>gets on my pants - but I figured out how to cover up for that, just splash 
 water
>all over myself and claim that the bathroom sink was malfunctioning).

I used to be a chronic sprayer. Then I figured out that if I increased the 
pressure of the flow most of the problem was solved. So now I apply some 
external clamping until the internal release has been completed, then release
with more-than-a-dribble pressure.

I employ one other variation when in that state where aiming downward is not
possible. Just use the toilet in the sitting position, and lean forward (no
clamping needed since spraying in that position is appropriate). I used to 
try to wait for the erection to thaw before relieving myself, but found 
that the constricting to prevent seepage also acted to maintain the 
erection. Now I find with this new variation that once the consticting 
stops, the thaw can proceed.

38.80KHUMBU::SEVIGNYAnd time can do so much...Thu Dec 13 1990 17:295
    
    
    Or you can use a urinal while doing a headstand.
    
    
38.81SALEM::KUPTONClemens,Welch,Clark &amp; BrunoThu Dec 13 1990 18:236
    I just put my foot on the urinal and roll down my sock.....8^)
    
    
    Through the hole.......
    
    K
38.82cut it out..you guys ;-)IAMOK::MITCHELLI thought t'was the parking brakeThu Dec 13 1990 19:2810

	I have just realized that I cannot read Mennotes while
	in the office anymore.  My laughing/crying.....falling
	off the chair....mascara running down my cheeks has
	caused strangers to walk into my office to see if
	I was okay.


	
38.83look ma! no hands!FSTTOO::BEANAttila the Hun was a LIBERAL!Thu Dec 13 1990 20:0116
    if i ever hear my wife (or any woman, for that matter) complain again
    about the inequitities of being a woman and not able to stop off the
    road for a quick whiz, I'll show her this string.  
    
    i never knew men suffered so while vertically releiving themselves in
    front of the urinal!  what a revelation!  i don't have to feel sorry
    for the poor woman who must squat to avoid soiling her sox.
    
    i remember, lo those many years ago, being taught (was it my mama
    or was it the boot-camp drill instructor?) to pee without even wetting
    my hands.  to think of it... there are those among us who must worry
    about wetting their *pants*!
    
    
    tony 
    
38.84Check the wind, too.NOVA::FISHERRdb/VMS DinosaurFri Dec 14 1990 01:075
    .83 reminds me, it was in boot camp that I learned to worry about the
    wind.  It was blowing in a circle about the little shelter that day.
    :-(
    
    ed
38.86MICROW::SEVIGNYAnd time can do so much...Fri Dec 14 1990 13:386
    
    
    
    A bad case of morning thickness.
    
    
38.87BTOVT::BAGDY_MI'm the Lord of the WastelandsFri Dec 14 1990 14:5918
        Talk about  having a good laugh after lunch !  Three managers
        walked by my  office on the way to Plant Staff meeting in the
        conference room beside my  office  and  I  was  doubled over,
        holding my stomach, laughing my  fool head off !  If I get my
        pink slip, I'll be telling them why ! :^)
        
        Now. . .
        
        Over the top and Fruit of the  Loom `kini briefs.  (You know,
        with the dental floss sides ?  :^))
        
        Now  I wonder if I can gain my  composure  back  to  make  it
        through the rest of the day ! 
        
        <whew> !
        
        Matt
38.88AXIS::GERTZYou Teach What You Most Need To LearnFri Dec 14 1990 17:066
    Haven't written a note in Notes in a long, long time.  I had to
    tell you that you guys are hysterically funny!  It's a genuine
    pleasure to read through a topic with so many replies and laugh
    through the entire string.  
    
    Charlene
38.89KHUMBU::SEVIGNYAnd time can do so much...Fri Dec 14 1990 18:0216
    
    
    I think we need a few new topics to avoind ratholes.  I suggest the
    following:
    
    
    Proper Urinal Etiquette.
    
    The pee-shy note.
    
    Why do others look?
    
    Shaking techniques that make it look as though you have a big one.
    
    
    -marc
38.90The master of the effect... :-)CYCLST::DEBRIAEthe social change one...Fri Dec 14 1990 18:175
    >     Shaking techniques that make it look as though you have a big one.
    
    
    	See Fred Sanford of "Sanford and Sons".... :-)
    
38.91"The Lord's been good to me ..."SWAM3::ANDRIES_LAand so it goes ...Fri Dec 14 1990 18:453
    Frankly, I've never needed shaking techniques.
    
    LArry
38.92Check the time AFTER you finish...ISLNDS::CALHOUNFri Dec 14 1990 19:269
    One quick lesson I learned the hard way.  If you're standing at
    the urinal, and you suddenly realize that you might be late for
     a meeting, be sure to let go before you check your watch!!!
                
    (What a mess!  Never did make it to the meeting....)
    
    
    Rich
    
38.93I micturated from HarvardSTAR::RDAVISThis is your brain on caffeineFri Dec 14 1990 20:3810
    Those groovy new cotton-pouch brief-jockstrap-whatsits are the next best
    thing to nothing (and "nothing" is pretty uncomfortable under rough
    denim).  But they're flyless, so over is the only way.
    
    The surprise 180-degree-coverage problem is why I usually don't seize
    the male perogative and stand when visiting women's apartments.  I
    figure this bit of chivalry extends their toilet-cleaning cycle
    considerably. 
    
    Mr. Manners
38.94BIGUN::SIMPSONPut your left leg in, pull a bloody stump outTue Dec 18 1990 04:543
    Joan Rivers says she can tell how good a lover a man is by the way he
    goes to the toilet... after all, if he can't hit a hole _that_ big
    standing still and with the light on...
38.95FUNNY!!!!!!!!SWAM3::ANDRIES_LAand so it goes ...Tue Dec 18 1990 14:361
    
38.96Lefties have rights too, taken to an extremeCASDEV::SALOISTue Dec 18 1990 17:2414
    
    Well, I've noticed briefs open to the right...
    
    what if you "hang" the other way....???
    
    does anyone know why they open on the right?  Is this a conspiracy?
    
    And one other helpful hint....
    
    When wearing light colored pants .... always, always be very
    careful when shaking.... it's rather embarassing getting spots
    on your trousers... know what I mean?
    
    
38.97KHUMBU::SEVIGNYlet it snow, damn it!Tue Dec 18 1990 18:055
    
    
    Then join the "over the top" contingent.
    
    
38.98WORDY::GFISHERWork that dream and love your lifeTue Dec 18 1990 18:5016
As moderator:

	We've kinda crossed the line with this discussion, folks.
	I'm probably at fault for letting it go on this long, but,
	oh well, I'm human (and I was having a good time, too).

	Let's refrain from discussions RE Mr. Wiggly, please.
	(General noting policy is that you don't talk explicitly
	about sexual body parts.)  

	Also, let's keep the topic on underwear and off of Mr. Wiggly.

	Thanks.

						--GerGrinch
38.99Hazard labels are necessaryCASDEV::SALOISTue Dec 18 1990 19:1410
    
    going over the top is alright as long as you're not wearing anything
    with an elastic waistband...
    
    Ever let go of the waistband at an inopportune time???
    
    		SNAP!!
    
    ouch!
    
38.100Sorry...Gerry...I couldn't help myself.IAMOK::MITCHELLI thought t'was the parking brakeTue Dec 18 1990 19:4712
	RE  GerGrinch



>	Also, let's keep the topic on underwear and off of Mr. Wiggly.
                                      ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

	Why do you want to keep Mr. Wiggly exposed Ger ??   :-)

	
	kits
38.101Perfectly relevent!KHUMBU::SEVIGNYlet it snow, damn it!Tue Dec 18 1990 19:565
    
    
    Where would underwear be without Mr Wiggly?
    
    
38.103BIGUN::SIMPSONtired of it all...Wed Dec 19 1990 00:383
    Well, surely you must admit that at times the male unmentionable
    appendage _does_ seem to lead a life of its own... does what it wants
    and not what you do...
38.104Down Simba ! 8^)RAVEN1::JERRYWHITEJoke 'em if they can't take a ...Wed Dec 19 1990 05:564
    Yeah, and "Mr. Wiggly" can make you change *your* mind as well ! It's a
    fact, hormones doing 110mph can kill brain cells on contact !    8^)
    
    Scary (who's thought using his pants before ...)
38.105BRABAM::PHILPOTTCol I F 'Tsingtao Dhum' PhilpottWed Dec 19 1990 09:588
    
    men's underwear "opens" to the right because most men are right handed
    (though a suggestion that the right hand would be used in this
    situation might cause severe revulsion in some mid-Asian countries
    where the langauge suggests that the left hand is de rigeur for toilet
    functions.)
    
    /. Ian .\
38.106Couldn't resist!!CXCAD::SCHUBERTDo-it-youself Lobotomy Kits, $19.88Wed Dec 19 1990 13:457
    
    
    re: .101 
    	Where would underwear be without Mr Wiggly?
    
    On a woman?
    
38.107:-)CYCLST::DEBRIAEthe social change one...Wed Dec 19 1990 13:573
    
    	Ooo, that was sooo *bad*. :-)
    
38.108Another plea to get back to the topic...WORDY::GFISHERWork that dream and love your lifeWed Dec 19 1990 14:537
..."Underwear"!  "Underwear" is the topic, folks.   ;-)

Thanks.


		--GrinchGerFromHellPart2
38.110IAMOK::MITCHELLI thought t'was the parking brakeWed Dec 19 1990 15:259
>	How do you get skidmarks out without using bleach?


	I hope Mr. Wiggly wasn't in them when they got run over.



	kits
38.111SWAM3::ANDRIES_LAand so it goes ...Wed Dec 19 1990 16:054
    Skidmarks?  Skidmarks!  Ya gotta get in there and wipe harder. :^)
    
    Merry Christmas,
    LArry
38.112KHUMBU::SEVIGNYlet it snow, damn it!Wed Dec 19 1990 16:135
    
    
    Throw them away, and learn proper anal hygeine.
    
    
38.113Must be today...CXCAD::SCHUBERTDo-it-youself Lobotomy Kits, $19.88Wed Dec 19 1990 17:576
    
    >       How do you get skidmarks out without using bleach?
    
    See your secretary or office supply store and get some white out...
    
    
38.114Children ... all of you ..MORO::BEELER_JERush Limbaugh , Jr.Wed Dec 19 1990 18:197
    Never before have I laughed so much ... what welcome comic relief on a
    rotten DECwork day ....

    "Mr. Wiggly" indeed ... well, I've been getting quite a laugh out of
    the childish antics .. and .. so has Mr. King Kong ...

    Jerry
38.115HANNAH::MODICAWed Dec 19 1990 18:215
    
    Mr King Kong?????
    
    Good grief what's next???
    The predator?
38.116oh!? you want them white???MERCRY::SALOISWed Dec 19 1990 18:2518
    
    nah...
    
    Is that a tic tac in your pocket????
    
    Seriously, though skid marks are a problem for some people.
    Hints from Heloise suggests the following solution;
    
    Mix these ingredients
    1 cup baking soda
    2 tbsp marvel mystery oil
    3 qts midnight blue enamel paint
    4 lbs raisin bran
    
    Using a wide spatula paste this all over your briefs...
    and voila! the rest of your shorts match the stain!!
    
    
38.117.....thud.......MORO::BEELER_JERush Limbaugh , Jr.Wed Dec 19 1990 18:264
    .115> Good grief what's next???
    .115> The predator?
    
    Nope ... "Giant" ...
38.118WMOIS::B_REINKEbread&amp;rosesWed Dec 19 1990 18:381
    pencil?
38.119:*)CSS::FRASERBut I don't have an accent; you do!Wed Dec 19 1990 18:5110
>              <<< Note 38.118 by WMOIS::B_REINKE "bread&roses" >>>

>    pencil?
        
        Speaking of  pencils,  Bonnie - I always wondered;  what do the
        letters HB stand for on some pencils, and is this relevant?
        
        a
        

38.120WMOIS::B_REINKEbread&amp;rosesWed Dec 19 1990 20:523
    no idea ! 
    
    :-)
38.122BTOVT::BAGDY_MI'm the Lord of the WastelandsThu Dec 20 1990 15:046
        RE: `HB' on a pencil
        
        HB = Heavy Ballistics
        
        Matt
38.123OK, maybe they are butt-flossNITTY::DIERCKSBent, in a straight world...Thu Dec 20 1990 15:5314
    
    
    
    ... thong style undies under work clothes -- can't have those
    	panty-lines, ya' know!
    
    ... no undies under jeans (unless I happen to be at work)
    
    ... I'm an "over" the top person, also.
    
    ... the undies are in various colors, must most white and they
    	MUST be 100% cotton, always!
    
    	   
38.124with this information I expect interesting pencil comments :-)CVG::THOMPSONDoes your manager know you read Notes?Fri Dec 21 1990 12:098
    RE: HB on pencils. It's an indication of the hardness of the lead.
    HB is fairly soft for writing. The next hardest is H then 2H and
    up. I've seen as hard as 9H for drafting. The next softest lead (after
    HB) is B then 2B etc. Artists tend to use the softer leads. So HB is
    soft of in the middle. Not much good for anything I do as I tend
    to make a mess with leads that soft.

    		Alfred
38.125WORDY::GFISHERWork that dream and love your lifeFri Dec 21 1990 14:246
I just got silk boxers for Christmas!  I haven't had a chance to wear 
them, yet.


							--Ger
38.126PEKING::BAKERTToo HOT to handle,too COOL to be BLUEFri Dec 21 1990 14:531
    can we share the experience 
38.127TV neuroses: B.O., morning mouth, dandruff, ... PANTY-LINES?DOOLIN::HNELSONEvolution in actionFri Dec 21 1990 15:504
    What's all this about panty-lines? I could care less. Is that because I
    don't watch TV?
    
    - Hoyt
38.128Who cares about TV, it's the people around you. :-)CYCLST::DEBRIAEthe social change one...Fri Dec 21 1990 16:176
    > Is that because I don't watch TV? 
    
    	Or notice other people smirking around you??? :-) [<- BIG :-)]
    
	-Erik
                        
38.129FDCV07::HSCOTTLynn Hanley-ScottFri Dec 21 1990 16:184
    re .102
    "your weewee"?
    
    
38.130VAXUUM::KOHLBRENNERFri Dec 21 1990 16:358
    RE .128
    
    That was really cruel, Erik, to point out to Hoyt
    that everyone is smirking around him...  He was
    unaware of that before your mean remark.  Just
    'cause he's not savvy about panty-lines, is no
    reason to pick on him...
                                   Wil
38.131CRONIC::SCHULERYour groove I do deeply digFri Dec 21 1990 17:106
    RE: .130
    
    Knowing Erik, I think he was trying to prevent the trauma
    that may come from continued disregard for trouser appearance.
    
    /Greg
38.132Operation 'Just Cause'... :-)CYCLST::DEBRIAEthe social change one...Fri Dec 21 1990 17:256
    
    	Sorry to blow the gag guys... didn't realize this was a source of
    	amusment for so many people. [The suffering of a few for the good
    	of the many??] :-) :-)
    
    	-Erik
38.133I guess I'm the butt of your jokes, huh?DOOLIN::HNELSONEvolution in actionFri Dec 21 1990 19:499
    I just asked my best friend why he didn't tell me, and he said my
    "panty-line problem" was trivial compared to my personal hygiene
    failings.
    
    Which reminds me: does anyone else collect beard dandruff? I keep mine
    in a Mason jar, and someday I hope to add some sizing and mold it into
    a life-size sculptor of my head.
    
    - Hoyt
38.134WMOIS::B_REINKEMinus 1 day and waitingFri Dec 21 1990 19:558
    Hoyt,
    
    some people also save ear wax, belly button lint and (if they
    are furry all over) body dandruff...
    
    :-)
    
    Bonnie
38.135 keep this going !!!JUPITR::BHOGANMon Nov 09 1992 01:108
    
      Once I saw a joke in the men's room wall it said....
    
    
    The joke aint on the wall it's in your hand.... 8^) 
    
    only me johnny B)