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Conference quark::human_relations

Title:What's all this fuss about "sax and violins"?
Notice:Please read all replies to note 1
Moderator:QUARK::LIONEL
Created:Thu Jan 21 1993
Last Modified:Fri May 09 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:133
Total number of notes:1901

61.0. "Dealin' with Healin'." by TRACTR::WINANS () Thu Jan 27 1994 00:13

         I learned this afternoon of a dear friend/co-worker who has been
    given a month or so to live. Cancer. She's been sent home to spend
    her last days. She has a husband, several almost adult sons.
    
         What's the loving thing to do....for her;moreover, for them....?
    
         Have any of you been here, in this place where I now find myself ?
    
                                                 Peace,
                                                 -RAM-
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61.1OKFINE::KENAHThe Man with the Child in his EyesThu Jan 27 1994 12:225
    If you're in the USA, I'd suggest contacting the American Cancer
    Society.  I suspect they've dealt with this question, and have
    the resources and pointers that can help you, and the family.
    
    					andrew
61.2BRAT::WOODYour past is what you wake up toThu Jan 27 1994 13:289
    Your (or her) local Hospice organization is a wealth of physical /
    medical, as well emotional, support.
    
    And from my experience - no matter how hard it may be to see her, even
    if near the end she doesn't recognize anyone, don't stop seeing her and
    her family. She and her family will need to know that people still care
    *no matter what!*
    
    PW
61.3ELESYS::JASNIEWSKIWhy not ask why?Thu Jan 27 1994 17:358
    
    	The "loving thing to do" is what .2 said; be with her and her
    family. No matter what. That "no matter" includes after she passes
    on, just as far as "her family" is concerned. They'll need you then.
    
    	Hope this helps,
    
    	Joe
61.4LEVADE::DAVIDSONFri Jan 28 1994 13:116
  At the same time, try not to overwhelm the family.  They need time with
  her too.

					-Caroline

61.5**** Thanks *****TRACTR::WINANSWed Feb 02 1994 19:446
         Ref.1,2,3 and 4:
         Thank you. Your advice is greatly appreciated and so reminiscent
    of a Digital I once knew long, long ago.
    
                                               Peace,
                                               -RAM-
61.6TIEFLY::DROWNSthis has been a recordingThu Feb 03 1994 17:318
    
    I lost my Mother to cancer last year, the thing I reget the most is
    not ever talking about her dying - we all knew she was going to die
    but none of us ever mentioned it. Thinking back now, we should have
    asked her if she was afraid (who isn't) and helped her with her fears.
    
    I miss her
    bonnie
61.7** Gone, but not forgotten **TRACTR::WINANSThu Feb 03 1994 21:289
    Ref. 0-
    When I got to work today.....I learned of her passing. I swear I feel
    as though I have been robbed of something of great worth. I'm only
    consoled by the fact that while she was in this life, she was a true
    friend.....when a true friend was hard to find. Although gone, not 
    forgotten.
    
                                                 Peace,
                                                 -RAM-