Conference quark::human_relations

    I think I read in the files somewhere that there is a form in the court
    house that can be obtained (for about $25, not sure), is filed out and
    processed, it takes several weeks, or months, and when final, is mailed 
    back to you.  I believe the whole procedure takes not much time or money...
    
    I hope this helps... Ana

    The spouse in MA gets 1/2 her husband's retirement if the marriage
    was over 10 years.  They might want to do some checking on this and
    some other things that might affect their retirement options.  

    I believe they wantthe "1A" divorce.  In 1984 it cost $110.00 to file
    and all we needed was a notarized copy of how we were going to split
    things and a general statement that it was a mutual decision.
    
    We filed for the divorce, soon after that we appeared before the judge
    and after a few simple questions we were granted our divorce and it
    became final 6 months after that.
    
    Jt

    75.2... Not to sound completely naive, but I assume that the husband
    would also get 1/2 of the wife's retirement? Does anyone no if this
    is from the time the divorce is filed vs granted?
    
    JD

    It could be from the date of the Divorce being logged at the court
    house, but doesn't have to be.  For example, if one spouse moved out
    and therefore was not contributing in any way to the support of the
    breadearner(of course it could be mutual if they were both employed
    and living apart), then a mediator and or good lawyer for the person
    with the most to lose-i.e. largest retirment nest egg, could rightly
    argue that the date be selected based on when that other person left.
    
    In many cases, there is a third option-which in the case of Digital,
    I think is followed.  In this case, Digital evaluates the paperwork
    from the court-QUADRO-and determines which date they will honor.
    The can elect to select either of the two dates.
    
    There is a period of Nisi that follows the court hearing(whether
    you are there or not) of 30 days, during which, if you change your
    mind, you can reinstate your lives and it will be as if there never
    was a set of papers filed.  After 90 days, it becomes final.
    The speed at which the paperwork works its way through the system
    is immaterial to the court. What is important to the court is that
    you don't change anything after the paperwork has been submitted...
    unless the court requests it.
    
    The papers filed from the court usually include the QUADRO...stands
    for  Qualified Domestic Relations Order.  What that covers is
    a statement to the employer(s) regarding the court requesting 
    that 1/2 of retirement funds...in the amount available on the date
    of the court/couple agree upon.  This assumes that the divorce
    paperwork is in order, etc., and the amount to be assigned to the other 
    spouse is usually equal to 1/2 of the accrued retirement of the total
    on the date selected..
    
    What has not been mentioned yet is the 401ks and IRAs.  Technically,
    there can be  claim against half of these based on the time the two
    were together for a payout of 1/2 of the accrued amount(no interest
    amount over the accrued amount) at such time as the spouse requesting
    it reaches a chosen age.  This can get sticky particularly if:
    -the payee does not agree to payment over time-either monthly or
    in yearly payments.
    -that spouse requests pay out at 62 rather than 65...and
    -they reach 62 before the other person either retires or reaches
    62/65....and
    -they require the full amount due at 62.(The pain here is that the
    payor spouse gets hit with both early withdrawal penalties and tax
    on that amount.....remember they may want to begin withdrawal of 
    money for themselves and to take out their share and a huge amount...or
    even incremental amounts, puts you in a much different tax situation.
    What you have to consider going into this is whether
    the spouse who is supposed to get the money writes up the order
    such that they get the total lump sum distribution based on the total
    due, or the net after the payor pays penalties and taxes.  Could
    be a major difference in expense to the payor.)
    
    The fact that these two have lived apart for sometime, will actually
    make it easier to distribute "stuff" because they have probably
    developed and purchased identical sets of subsistence material
    things.  The company retirement and personal retirement accrued while
    they were together is usually not too negotiable on amount, but working
    through the math can be far more equitable downstream if all the
    implications are shared rather than put on the person with the most
    to pay out.(of course in nasty situations, equity rarely is the goal.)
    Hopefully, in this case, they have been far enough away from this to
    think clearly.
    
    ...my thoughts
    
    Jim

    And, remember, if there is a family abode being put on the market,
    realize that if one partner is over 55 that the one-time $125,000
    capital gains rebate kicks in.  This means that BOTH partners will
    not be able to make use of this feature in the future.  

    justme....jacqui

Re: .6

It's not a rebate, it's an exclusion.  And it doesn't HAVE to be used.  But
if it is used by either partner, neither can use it again in the future.

Re: .0

I would not attempt any kind of divorce without the advice of a competent
lawyer.  Lots of people have paid many times over what they "saved" because
they didn't understand all of the consequences of what they agreed to.
A simple uncontested divorce, especially with no minor children involved, is
not expensive.

					Steve

    re: .7
    
    Steve has good advice on having a competent lawyer at least look over the
    separation agreement.  The whole deal with retirement benefits etc. can
    be sticky and it is not automatic.  My agreement waived claims to
    alimony, current assets, and retirement benefits.  It will go much
    smoother is you can talk about the division of property before hand and
    either divy the stuff up now or at a specified time in the future. 
    There is no 1,2,3 method that I know of.  Unfortunately there were
    complications in my proceedings so it is costing me some fees 
    because of a lack of ability to communicate on the issues.  Have your
    laywer talk to my lawyer and they'll bill us.  :-(.
    
    Brian  

    I agree with .7 and .8
    
    Also, start the bargining with 'anything you buy/charge which increases
    the family debt from the moment you started the divorce is the
    responsibility of that party.' My ex got her car totaled and used the
    VISA to help pay for another. She is responsible for that expense. 
    
    You may also want to look into having one person own the house with the
    other having financial gain when it is sold or within 6 mo of the other 
    dying. My ex and I did this too. We have a formula that divides the
    income from the house based upon the value at the time of the divorce
    minus the mortgage balance and the equity loan. This way, my boys 
    do not live in poverty from the (forced) sale of the house.
    
    Steve