Conference quark::human_relations

Note 324 in QUARK::MENNOTES-V1 has a summary of Consumer Reports most recent
ratings of condoms.  I thought there had been a larger discussion of them
in another note, but I haven't found it yet.  (I'm trying to make it easier
to find things in this new version by applying keywords.)

The advice I've always read is to have your partner help you put it on
rather than retiring to another room to do it.  Make it part of the "game".


			Steve

    
    	Re .0 -
    
    	There's always the practice of monogamy, with absolute integrity,
    if the transmission of an infectious disease is your concern and reason 
    for using them. That is, of course, after both you and your partner have 
    gotten your "status" assured through the appropriate testing...
    
    	I've heard that the more "transparent" the condom, the *less*
    of an effective barrier it provides against infectious disease
    transmission. 
    
    	I think "now-a-days" more than ever, certain pleasures come
    with certain responsibilities. It's just the facts of the matter, 
    and I dont think you'll be able to simply/quickly/easily breech those
    facts to your satisfaction, if you're having a problem with it already.
    I'd say it's going to take something *quite significant* to get you
    where that "part of you" wants to be. It'll be either a significant
    *risk*, or a significant change in your lifestyle.
    
    	Joe

Re: .2

I would think that most people's reason for using condoms is prevention of
pregnancy, with disease transmission a secondary concern.   But even for
the latter, monogamy is not something you can instantly rely on, if either
partner has had previous partners.  (And even then - some STDs remain
symptomless in the carrier.)

According to all the reports I have read, only latex condoms are effective
against disease transmission.

				Steve

    Latex are the most effective against dieses transmission....
    
    But as Joe pointed out... in the case of most condums, they are made
    with colorless latex which is semi-transparent... the clearer the 
    condumn the higher the senstivity to the user, the less barrier and 
    higher risk of breakage and leaks.  The clearer the condumn the thinner 
    the latex, the weaker the condum is.  
    
    Now-a-days steve I think condums are used more for the prevention of 
    diseases then as a preventative against pregnancy.  Especially with all 
    the Aids scare that goes around today.  Simply put, sex without a
    condum may kill you.  It's being pushed that way on Televison and in 
    the media.  
    
    Other methods are usually used when pregnancy is the only concern...
    everything from a diaphram, to spermicides, to estrogen, the sad thing is 
    that other then the condum and surgery, there are no real birth prevention 
    devices or methods made for men.  Everything falls to the woman.  
    
    And as most men have learned the condum is about as sexually wonderful
    as the raincoat.  
    
    .0... there's no getting around it, as was mentioned earlier, the best
    you can do is make the wearing of the thing a part of the sexual
    foreplay unless you want to run the risk of other problems.
    
    Skip
    
    

    Thank you all for your replies.  In my situation,   the concern is for
    disease prevention.  Long  before we met, my potential partner and I
    both  had our plumbing disconnected for the sake of  preventing
    pregnancy . [Skip:  This was the  birth prevention method I chose back
    when  I was married and a parent several times over.]
    
    In a previous relationship,  my friend always  insisted on the use of a
    condom except for  a single time and got a virus that caused  warts
    from that.  My friend felt very hurt by this experience.  
    
    We've been dating now for about four months and in discussing what we
    might decide to do in  our relationship,  she talks about using 
    condoms in the sense of taking care of each other,  if I understand her
    correctly.  We  both would expect this to be a monogamous 
    relationship.  I too agree on the use of condom with this but I'm a bit
    concerned that if we  decide to make love,  we might both find it 
    disappointing.   I'm crazy about her but I've  lost a step to middle
    age.
    

    To re-open the subject and focus it on another tangent....


    	There are more types of condoms than just the male member
    	one...but they are more expensive.

    	The female condom is available and might be more acceptable
    	for the male member who doesn't like to take a shower in a
    	raincoat.  I would suggest that the male member pick up the
    	tab for this new apparel.  I think it runs about $2 a shot!
    	From what I have heard of the description, it appears to be
    	a more protective device that covers more ground in the long
    	run.  Since you are both "fixed" (CONGRATS!!), you really 
    	got unlucky in the other department!
    	
    Suggest those interested in more "freedom" to play look into this
    new offering.  It is not a "trampoline" at all.  

    justme....jacqui

    Re .6, and the "female condom" - there was a hysterical (though a bit
    daunting) article in the Boston Phoenix a few weeks ago, doing a sort
    of consumer survey of condoms (all types). The article on the "female
    condom" made it sound *really* unappealing - but perhaps that could be
    used to advantage, as in, "Well, honey, if you're not going to use one
    of those whisper-thin ultra-lube jobs, then I'll just have to use this
    industrial-strength baggie here, which will pretty effectively negate
    sensation for *both* of us!"
    
    But, as they say, it won't kill you...
    
    -b