Conference quark::human_relations-v1

    
    Wanna see a DECcie with chills down his spine?
    

  Thank you......some of us need to be reminded of the dangers and hazards
  and tragedies of some of our actions.

    Whenever I happen to read Dear Abby, I'm a little discouraged at
    the letters she chooses to print; specifically, those directed against
    MEN'S shortcomings. Even this one, which is ostensibly about the
    wrongness of drunk driving, must include a comment about the
    ever-present perils of the ``male ego.''
    
    The point could have been expressed the same without reference to
    gender. 
    
    Abby seems to answer letters that make all men look evil. ``I'm
    pregnant, and he refuses to admit he's the father.'' ``My stepfather
    raped me.'' ``My husband's a slob.'' 
    
    If there ever IS a letter from a man, it's always one that makes
    men look foolish or weird.
    
    I agree wholeheartedly about the drunk driving message, but I think
    the male bashing is out of line. 
    
    It seems painfully obvious to note that both men and women are capable
    of driving drunk and causing tragedy. Out of fairness, I feel compelled
    to do so.
    
    
    WW
    

    Just read the base note again.
    
    I'm offended too by the author's propogation of the idea that the
    man always drives. What a crummy role model.
    
    And of course the dutiful wife...a tower of sobriety.
    
    Give me a break!
    
    
    WW
    

    
    I agree with .3's reply.  But then we have to remember that
    Dear Abby grew up when things were different between men and
    women.  I can remember my dad would *never* let my mom drive
    when we were all going somewhere together.  (Even sober!)  It
    just wasn't *her* place!  
    
    Anyway, just last night my 16 year old daughter and I signed a
    "Contract for Life".  Maybe there needs to be a "Contract for
    Life" between married persons saying that "If he/she is too
    drunk or high on drugs to drive home that he/she will let someone
    else drive or call a cab!"  That might save a lot of innocent lives.
    
    	Myra 

    RE: .3-.5
    
    Being of the female gender myself, I too took slight offense at
    the stereo-typing of "Dear Abby". I debated changing the wording
    when I wrote this note, but decided to re-print as is.
    
    Not to justify the error, but the article was written at least 4
    years ago (the date faded on the article) and the gender is not
    the main point.
    
    Don't want to dampen anyone's Holiday Spirit, in fact I wish everyone
    the happiest of seasons, but I think about this story often and
    wanted to share it...
    
    Heidi
    

    RE: .6
    
    You didn't dampen any holiday spirits. Certainly not mine.
    
    I don't really get into the holiday spirit that much anyway. Last
    year a friend of mine and I decided to celebrate a holiday with
    real meaning - we settled on Bastille Day (July 14). 
    
    It sounds crazy, I know. Think about it:                      
    
    It's a good holiday, not celebrated _widely_ in the US. I like it
    because it has true historical significance (there is increasing
    evidence that Christ was not born on Dec. 25; but, I know, one
    celebrates in spirit) and because it's
    a celebration of a nation with a great cultural history, great art
    & literature, romance, great food, wine, over 300 cheeses...you
    guesses it, I'm a Francophile!
    
    Finally, it's in July: no snow in my part of the world, and all
    the stores are OPEN!!!                  
    
    Sorry for the digression. Couldn't resist!
    
    
    WW
    

    Why not just say no to drugs?
    
    Don't forget the only difference between alcohol and other drugs
    is the legallity.
    
    Just plain socializing with someone who has a to many drinks can
    be very risky indeed.
    
    /verne

    	Thank you for sharing the base note.  One of the main reasons
    	I don't go out at night is not for fear of my own driving, it
    	is a fear of somebody else who may be out of control.  I don't
    	live my life in a closet by *any* means, but for me an evening
    	at home with a bottle of champagne and my SO is much more
    	exciting than most parties.  (Not preaching, just sharing.)
    
    	There are many bars who offer some sort of taxi service if
    	you've had too much to drink, and I encourage anybody who
    	has had lots to drink to take advantage of the offer.  And
    	I wish all of you a very joyous and safe holiday!!  *8-)
    
    					Carla
    

    The thing that bothers me most is that something like this Abby
    reprint is trotted out at the Holiday season, run a lap or two
    around the track, and put back in the stable for another year.
    
    While this problem certainly increases during the Holiday season,
    especially New Year's, which is the traditional "let's all go out
    and get hammered" holiday, it can happen *any*time.
    
    (No disrepect is meant to Heidi for posting the base note; I'm
    just speaking in general terms.)
    
    --- jerry

    Thanx for the base note. I shared with a few of my friends. If the
    note would save even one life this holiday season, its been worth
    it. I drink, I drive, but I don't drink AND drive.
    
    anil.

    
    Re: .12
    
    Not so, Bob.  Husband drove.
    
    (Big deal, right?  Could happen to anyone.)
    

    Perhaps I have led a sheltered life.  I can see the ~Even drunk,
    I drive better than my spouse, sober.~ and the ~I'm boss in this
    family.~ as being the behavior of a (very small) subset of
    American men.  But I cannot see it as the behavior of even a
    few American women.
    
    What cultural pattern have I been missing?
    
    							Ann B.

    I doubt the situation in .0 would make a State Trooper cry.  A friend
    of mine is a trooper and I asked him if he felt anything emotional
    at accident scenes.  He said, "No, it's just a corpse.  You can't
    get emotional about death when you see it every day.  If you did,
    you'd go nuts.  Exceptions would be someone I knew.  Otherwise,
    it's just some idiot who drank too much or didn't wear a belt,
    or someone who was a victim of circumstances at no fault of 
    their own."
    
    I'd say more people die from not wearing seatbelts.  So wear your
    seatbelt, too.
    
    tim

    Re: .12/.13 and .15
    
    Bob, I have the article at my desk, and "he" was driving in this
    instance. Not that it matters, we've probably all done it once or
    twice disbelieving that we had actually had one to many.
    
    Re: .15         One of the guys I work with was a former Statie
    and while he agrees with your friend, he admits it's mostly due
    to self-preservation - those people see alot just in their day-to-day
    routines.
    
    
    Once and for all, my intent upon entering the base note was not
    to stir up some sort of gender battle, but merely to make people
    stop and think for a few seconds. Granted the drinking goes on 365
    days of the year, however, the holiday season seems to involve more
    parties and toasting. When everyone is making their New Year's
    resolutions, why not make a commitment not to drink and drive for
    the entire year?
    
    ... Have a good one everybody !!!!
    
    		Heidi

    
    
    		Thank you, Heidi!  Happy Holidays to you too!
    
    			  			-ET

    I believe the point in the base note was clear.  Don't drink and
    drive!  Thanks for posting it Heidi, I am sure I will think of it
    often.       
                                          - Sue