| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 149.1 | Economy maybe? | TIGEMS::SCHELBERG | | Mon Nov 17 1986 19:59 | 14 |
| No, it's not just you I noticed it too! I've done it myself usually
over things that go just plain wrong....but I think over population
in this area is one reason another is just the economy everything
is just too expensive. Housing, clothes, food etc is going up and
salaries aren't......well I shouldn't say that dishwashers, and
waitresses, are getting hard to find and some restaurants are willing
to pay $6.00 dollars an hour! That's pretty good. But I think
it's mostly the economy.....at least for me it is. Things are
just getting too expensive.
What is it for you?
bs
|
| 149.2 | "They're all angry because they aren't happy"? | DSSDEV::BURROWS | Jim Burrows | Mon Nov 17 1986 21:55 | 47 |
| Maybe I'm too philosophical, but it seems to me that a good deal
of the problem is in the outlook of the people, in the values
that our culture embraces. There's a lot of negativism in the
various systems of value that are running around lose. There is
also a lot of stock put into superficialities and material
things, things which are not reliable.
A very common philosophy these days is "looking out for number
one". This comes up in all sorts of things. We make sure that we
have prenuptual agreements in case the person whom we most love
and most trust tries to cheat us and then are surprised and
angry when the marriage fails. We decide that if anything ever
goes wrong in our lives then some else must be responsible and
sue them, and then are surprised when insurance and service
costs sky-rocket. We decide that "more is better" and are
surprised that we don't have "enough".
The issue of blaming others is a problem across the board.
Vehement Christians claim that all men are sinners from birth
and then try to stamp out sin. Not surprisingly, it pops up all
over and they become all the more vehement. Libertarians claim
that all government is nothing force and coercion and then try
to get it to stop. Strangely they are overpowered. The right
wing lives in fear of the Communist menace and urges massive
spending for defense. For some reason the Commies decide that
war is likely and stockpile more arms. The left decides that
standrad solution is to throw laws and money at problems and is
surprised to find that money is squandered and laws broken.
I think people are angry because they have all sorts of
elaborate misconceptions about how the world is and ought to be
and it refuses to go along with them. I think that the values,
the philosophies, and the ideologies we embrace are far too
often selfish, distrustful, and hostile. The more we sell these
ideas to others and to ourselves the more we are bound to
suffer.
The really valuable things in the world are really quite
plentiful, if only we recognize them. There really is enough
goodness and enough value for us all if we'd just take it to
heart. Happiness is something that we do. I don't think we can
be happy until we take responsibility for ourselves, until we
ask not "What's wrong with all those people?", but "What can I
do?". We won't be happy as long as we insist that everything is
a race and winning is the source of value.
JimB.
|
| 149.4 | Haymarket Square at rush hour | QUARK::LIONEL | Reality is frequently inaccurate | Tue Nov 18 1986 02:19 | 7 |
| I don't think it's anger - I think it's fear. We no longer live
in a world where we can trust everyone else, and thus we are afraid
when in uncontrolled interactions with strangers. The defense against
fear appears as anger, but it is more a determined effort to not
be affected by what goes on around us. Like with driving in Boston
- if you make eye contact, you lose.
Steve
|
| 149.7 | clams, not quahogs | HARDY::ST_ONGE | | Tue Nov 18 1986 16:01 | 13 |
| definitely the economy. work 40 hours and barely get by....that's
a familiar story everywhere.
I believe in the Marxist theory...everything EVERYTHING ultimately
can be traced to an economic beginning.
new england is crowded? unpleasant? that's a crock...the cities
are crowded, the country isn't. In my mind, New England offers
much more than other areas. Where I live keeps me happy. If I
took my situation and moved to a less appealing area, THEN I might
REALLY have something to complain about!!
MONEY TALKS EVERYTHING ELSE WALKS.
|
| 149.8 | ATTITUDE MORE THAN CIRCUMSTANCE | CASV04::DEVI | | Tue Nov 18 1986 16:34 | 15 |
| I think it's a matter of letting the mind fall out the face. I don't
know many people who can remain cheerful in spite of what's happening.
Most of the people I know react to their situation with lots of
anxiety, resentment, criticism, uncertainty, etc. Rather than tapping
their potential for joy, they allow waves of different negative
emotions to preoccupy the mind, and it just falls out the face.
And it doesn't seem to be directed at anybody in particular, until
there is eye-to-eye contact; and it doesn't seem to matter who it
was that wandered into the middle of the field of vision, because
it just ends up as a random break in the stream-of-whatever it was
going on inside. It seems more a question of how people handle
themselves in ANY negative situation, rather that which negative
situation do you think caused it....and why can't people harness
the energy of anger and direct it towards improving WHATEVER it
is that eats at them...economy, emotions, expectations, ...???
|
| 149.9 | Just rambling on... | NETCOM::HANDEL | | Tue Nov 18 1986 19:04 | 31 |
| What a coincidence! I am just feeling that way right now! And
you know what I think it is? Pressure.
Everyone is under pressure, to get here, to get there, make more
money, to get into a job they like, to be happy. Sometimes people
need, to quote a phrase, to stop and smell the roses. Life is passing
us by and everyone is in a bad mood! What a way to spend your life!
We don't even know if we'll be here in five years at the rate we
are progressing towards self-destruction. Why not spend the next
few days thinking about how silly all of this rat race is and learn
to relax! Maybe the smile will come back onto our faces and the
world will be a better place to live!
Maybe this is a result of living in the northeast. I don't know.
I grew up in the midwest, and had the same pressures. Maybe not
exactly the same causes of pressure, but living in a small town
isn't easy, as anyone who has done it knows! People seem to be
friendlier in the midwest, and coming from that viewpoint, the
northeast is harsh. Making friends is easier there and very difficult
here.
However, I do agree with some previous replies in that money can
be a big factor on how we face the world. If we are worried about
how to pay the bills, and I've been there, then that has a tendency
to color our moods, and for those who show their emotions easily,
well, the smile fades.
I for one want to count my blessings, of which there are many and
just relax. There's no use worrying over what can't be changed.
|
| 149.10 | You really think so? | APEHUB::STHILAIRE | | Tue Nov 18 1986 19:52 | 18 |
|
Re .2, you say that the "really valuable things in the world are
really quite plentiful". Does it really seem that way to you?
If you mean love, well, it's a well known fact that there aren't
enough men to go around - so squash that for women. If you mean
friends, acquaintances may be plentiful but good friends seem to
be few. If you mean material wealth, it's certainly not evenly
divided in this world - a select few have the majority of the wealth.
If you mean good health, there's plenty of sick, hurt people and
if you mean the beauties of nature, that's in danger, too.
I believe in thinking positively and attempting to be pleasant and
polite and make the best of things. But, to say that the valuable
things in the world are quite plentiful seems like wishful thinking.
Lorna
|
| 149.11 | Yes, I mean it | HUMAN::BURROWS | Jim Burrows | Wed Nov 19 1986 01:29 | 46 |
| I absolutely did mean it. Not enough men to go around so women
can't expect love? Are you telling me the women out number the
men 3 to 1 or something? Come on, the ratio is darn near even,
just off by a percentage point or two. And who says love has to
be an exclusive relationship? Sure I love my wife, but that's
nowhere near the only love I get. There are parents, siblings
and children for familial love. But it doesn't have to stop
there, There are, as I mentioned in another note, people we run
into who in another place and time could have been the one love
in our life. To my ethics it is wrong to take them as lovers,
but it isn't wrong to love them.
And yes, I do mean friends. Real friends. People you can turn to
when the world blows up in your face. People you can share you
interests with. People who are pleasant to just be with in
silence. There are lots of them.
Yes, I mean material wealth. Sure it isn't evenly divided, sure
there are always people with more than you. Sure there are
things it would be nice to have that you don't, no matter who
you are. But, for most of us it isn't anywhere near a question
of true hardship and depravation, but a lack of nonessentials
we've convinced ourselves we need or want.
Yes I mean health. For all that there's disease and injury and
hunger today, it's lots better than it was a century ago.
Yes I mean the beauties of God's creations. Of course I know
there are problems with the environment. At the same time I know
there's more forest in New England than there was when the
Pilgrims landed. For all that there are problems with pollution
and wasting of natural resources, you don't have to go very far
to find nature's beauty resplendent in all its glory.
It's not at all wishful thinking to say that the valuable things
are plentiful. It just takes opening your eyes. It just takes
focusing on the good rather than the bad. It takes a positive
attitude, an openness to the splendors of God's creation, and the
beauties of the people all around you.
If you're angry, resentful, cynical, defensive, suspicious, or
unsatisfied the world can look pretty bleak, but that's just
your own attitude showing through. It's your own decisions and
viewpoints coloring your world.
JimB.
|
| 149.12 | IF $ALARY .GE. 20K THEN EXIT | TOPDOC::STANTON | I got a gal in Kalamazoo | Wed Nov 19 1986 02:10 | 38 |
|
I go with money as the gating factor. NE may be prospering on
paper, but the wealth is not evenly distributed, & the net
result is an economic caste system that seems to be getting
worse every day. I'm not talking about the inability to pay
bills -- I've stared that one down too, & won finally after
working my butt off. I'm talking about folks who stare down a
future where they know they cannot make more than a certain
amount of money, no matter how hard they work.
I would be curious to see the salary range of those posting
optimistic replies to this note. Do you own a house? How
many cars? Vacation spot? Hobbies? etc. Without getting
into flames about how hard this propritership is on you,
remember that a larger majority of NE folks (& the nation)
are not nearly as prosperous as the folks posting replies
here. We all can *afford* to be cheerful.
Except for our children & my good fortune landing a job at
DEC, I would be one of those scowling, murderous-looking
folks you see walking the street. I've been there, making
$12K in 1980 with one child, & it isn't pretty.
At the risk of alienating .0, I must ask why folks *ought* to
be in such a good mood anyway? And why does their scowling
bother you? Frankly the fact that anyone is smiling &
in a good mood should be cause for celebration. If most
of the folks you know are in a good mood 50% of the time,
kiss the ground, praise Allah, testify, & do the funky
chicken. You are in good company.
|
| 149.13 | Right on # .12 | KRYPTN::HITCHCOCK | Who is John Galt | Wed Nov 19 1986 11:19 | 29 |
|
RE: .12
Absolutely right! Since I moved to Fitchburg, I've met several people, some
who have become good friends, who work in the plastic and cardboard industries
that abound in the F'burg and Leominister area. They really aren't technically
trained and have to do manual labor for $4-$5 per hour. And don't give me the
crap that they can go back to school and get the training. They CAN'T afford
it. They have to work to keep a roof over their families heads and food in
their stomach. And I don't need to hear about how they should have gone on
to college or tech school. A lot of these people have to go to work immediately
upon leaving high school to support theirselves and/or their families.
The wealth of this nation is nowhere nearly distributed evenly. And these
people are the ones who have to suffer financial hardships the worse. Thank
God I was able to go on to a higher education and I consider myself very
lucky to be working at DEC. I've worked at other computer companies and
there is none like this company. I am able to smile at other people and
have fun. The people at the financial bottom are probably too worried about
surviving to worry about how others perceive them.
Oh well, I'll shut up even though I could ramble on. But this subject struck
home since I know so many of the people mentioned above. I don't associate
exclusively with people in my own "social caste" who can take time to smile
all the time and look other people in the eye. Take time to meet people who
aren't as economically secure as you are and I'm sure you'll find out just
what I mean.
/harold
|
| 149.15 | But does it get you down? | HUMAN::BURROWS | Jim Burrows | Wed Nov 19 1986 22:12 | 31 |
| The poor and the low-paid working-class are not universally
unhappy. Yes, they have hardships, but how they react to them
depends very much on their attitudes. Some rail against the
oppressors who keep them where they are. Some raise themselves
up by dint of hard work. Some just resign themselves to their
"place", and some accept it cheerfully. I've known people in all
of these groups.
My own brother is in both the "raise yourself up by hard work",
and "rail against the oppressor" groups depending on phase of
the moon. His outlook, despite supporting two school age children
on assembly line income, is quite cheerful. He owns his own home,
which is a modest (like it cost 10% of what mine did) mobile
home. Upon occasion he has two cars. The second is almost always
a semi-functional VW bug that anyone else would have used only
as a parts car.
He is extremely proud, and very hard working and smiles almost
all the time (give or take the occasional railing of fate and
society in his cups). He married a woman with two kids and
adopted them even though the marriage cost them her aid to
dependant children. He bought a home for something like $12K,
'cause that's everything he could scrape together. He goes
through economic and other troubles that no-one would blame him
for crying over, but he doesn't ask for or accept help and his
outlook is fiercely optimistic.
I continue to maintain that it is your outlook that conditions
the world, and not vice versa.
JimB.
|
| 149.17 | That little word " ' IF ' " | WFOVX3::KLEINBERGER | misery IS optional | Tue Nov 25 1986 11:18 | 35 |
| Re: the last few...
Bob, I agree... people CAN go to school, and position themselves
better in life IF they want too... and that is the biggest word
in the American language.... IF ....
Back in 1980, I decided to go back to school,and attempt to make
something of my life... Don't know if I will ever suceed like I
would like to, but, I digress....
I had three children, one which was only 8 months old or so... I
worked close to 60 hours a week at two different jobs, so that I
could afford to go to college... I did not have help with raising
the kids, and the man of the house said that was "womens" work...
If I wanted a sitter, I had to pay for it, and yes the house had
to be clean and supper in the freezer to go in the oven for dinner...
I started at a community college instead of a large university because
it was cheaper, and accepted grants for my books, but I got the
best education I could.
I was up almost every morning at 3 or 4 am to study for test and
do homework... or at the lab at 2 in the morning to do a program,
it was rough, and I didn't know that my eyes could survive without
bags under them, but it was worth it.
It wasn't handed to me on a silver platter, and I didn't know what
Dallas was until 2 years ago, but yes, you can achieve anything
you want if you put your mind to it.
Please don't accept the fact if anyone tells you they are stuck
in a rut, and can't get out.... they can(!) IF they want to...
I'm glad I did...
GLK
|
| 149.20 | smile and the whole world will think your up to no good | SEAMOS::CURCIO | Sauna_Rat, In the Heat of the Night | Wed Nov 26 1986 13:17 | 22 |
| I haven't been active in notes for a couple of months now and trying
to catch up on everything is nearly impossible but this is one subject
I find I just can't resist replying to....
There have been some very estute observations made here. One of the
best in my opinion.. fear shown as hostility, this is true throughout
the entire animal kingdom. One of the weakest.. finance, only because
I too am a firm believer if a person wants to improve his situation
it is up to him to do so and if he doesn't than the only person
he has a right to be upset with is himself...
I'd like to add one more theory which I think is more relevent now
than ever. It's based on selfishness and is brought out more so
around this time of year because of the stress we put ourselves
trying to please everyone else for the holidays, in particular
Christmas. Don't you just love to pushed around in the stores..
bumped out of line at the cash registers.. nearly run over in the
parking lots.. if these things aren't enough to put a scowl on
your face than your a better person than I am >|-(
Sauna_Rat
|
| 149.21 | Slow down and smell the roses... | NACHO::CONLIFFE | Store in a horizontal position | Tue Dec 09 1986 12:41 | 26 |
| Minor digression (but close to the original topic). What follows is
merely my anecdote on the subject. In the words of Software people everywhere,
"It works for me!"
I recently (last week!) bought a new car. Since the car is not yet "run in",
I have to drive everywhere at 50 mph or less, and must not exceed 4000rpm.
As a direct result, I've had to allow more time to get between places (ZKO
to MRO, for example), and I have a sedate drive down and back instead of my
previous mad-dash scramble.
I realised that there was nothing I could do but enjoy the ride (I want the
car to be run in properly, so I won't have problems with it later). So I take
a little extra time; I arrive at my destination more relaxed, happier than I
would have been. It's made me treat random people around me with more kindness
(not co-workers as such, but security guards, people in corridors, people
waiting in the caff...), and I find that I'm getting more warmth back!
I also find that I'm taking this more relaxed pace in other things. I was out
Christmas shopping last night, and the turmoil didn;t bother me as much as it
has in previous years. I found myself saying "So it takes a little longer, so
what?". Shop assistants (and even passers-by) reacted to my being relaxed and
friendly by being friendly in return, for the most part (the shop assistant at
Musicland proved an exception to the rule(-:).
So be a little friendly; take a little more time. You'll feel better and the
people around you will react in a positive sense.
Nigel
|
| 149.22 | Attitudes | ORION::HERBERT | Walk in the sunshine | Tue Jun 16 1987 18:08 | 52 |
| I just ran across this note. It's an interesting topic, so I thought
I'd comment...even though it seems to have been retired.
I agree that people do not have to be unhappy with their lot in life,
and that it is an attitude and a choice.
It's not money. You can decide it is, and that will seem true to you.
But you can just as easily decide it's your job, your government, your
personal relationship, or whatever. So if it can be all of those things,
then it must not be any of them. It *appears* to be whatever we decide
to place blame on. Sometimes it seems to bring comfort to be able to
blame SOMETHING for our frustration. That's okay if it helps you let off
a little steam...and if you remember THAT'S just what you're doing. But
blaming something repeatedly can cause you to believe it so strongly that
you forget that it's not really the *whole* story...therefore, you lose
touch with some of the easy solutions.
There are people without money, jobs, homes, cars, clothes, education,
lovers, close friends, "beautiful society" bodies, "appropriate society"
intelligence, easy traffic to drive home in, etc., WHO ARE HAPPY. These
people are not gifted, lucky, special, etc. They simply *learned* how to
feel that way and are still learning how to make those choices in all
different situations they encounter. Why don't we stop resenting them
and learn something for OURSELVES?
An earlier reply challenged noters who spoke of "good attitudes" to
admit how much they "have" in life, and that others may not have as much.
Like many, I've had a lot of different phases in my life which could be
considered far from desirable. I've been without most of the things above
all at once. When I had nothing, I slept on the beach and hitchhiked my
way around. Nowhere to go, no money, no job, no food. But I saw it as an
adventure to be experienced. It was exciting to me to see what it was like
to have nothing...and keep living, experiencing, and enjoying. It wasn't
always pleasant...but I didn't have a piss-poor attitude either.
Things are much different for me now, and when people try judging me based
on what I have now, I know that they just don't know the whole story..and
probably don't want to. I have personal experience that a person's
attitude determines their level of happiness. I've also seen how my
attitude can damn near destroy me. Attitudes are very powerful...both ways.
Although there are still many scowling faces, some of them seem to be
lightening up a little with all of the information on self-awareness
available these days. It's hard to accept scowling as the only
alternative when you see other people trying a different approach...
and finding happiness.
You don't have to *like* everything, and you don't have to stop fighting
the issues that are important to you. But you can sure have a good time if
you want to.
Jerri
|
| 149.23 | FLORIDA OR BUST! | NHL::GOINS | | Mon Sep 28 1987 18:32 | 25 |
| I have always noticed this about this area, especially since I
spent four years in Florida as a comparison. I agree with
Reply #9 by (Handel). Good conception! The way I describe
New England (Boston/Lowell) in particular is :
Sirens going 24 hours a day
Fights over stupid things like pool games
and you say Hi to a stranger in the street and they think
your nuts or you're out to mug them or something. Whereas,
down south everyone is friendly and neighborly to everyone,
its unbelievable.
I think that we live in a dog-eat-dog world up here and
people will step all over you just to get ahead. Its a
shame but its true. There are alot of street people out
there who are conartists and this makes the general public
apprehensive. Everyone fighting the clock, fighting traffic,
and it effects your attitude.
Down in Florida, people take their time, its a tourist industry
so most of the people there are visiting, on vacation, out to
have a good time, in a good mood, and believe it or not this
rubs off on the residents. I, myself was close to a nervous
breakdown from the pressure when I first moved to Florida and
I'm anxious to move back for the laid back environment. Some
people like the fast lifestyle of the city. I am too nervous
to deal with it. Just my opinion.
|