Conference quark::human_relations-v1

>       ...but then again, does receiving something really matter? 
    
No, Sharon, it means nothing. 

If you were sick, would he be there to cook your food and fluff your
pillow? If you were broke, would he come through with some cash? If
you were sad, would he be there with a hug? 

To me, these are the things that matter. A card is a nice
triviality. That's all it is. 

-- Ron
    

    Sharon, call and thank him for the flowers and say, "Weren't you being
    coy to sign the card "A Secret Admirer'!"
    
    Grins,
    Marge

Sharon, all I can say is that after four years, and an intent of being
together for a lifetime, I sure hope you know him well enough and accept him
for who he is.  If he has always been like this, then you shouldn't be
astonished.  If it is something new, then you may want to wonder about what
it means to you.

If it were me, I'd be disappointed, but I'd try not to read into it more
than was there.  But I'll suggest that you may want to consider getting
used to it.

					Steve

    Having had a marriage that most often reflected .1's comments, I
    don't think I would be too put out about not receiving a small token
    for a day that has been pushed from pleasantly trivial to "big deal"
    by Hallmark, and the florists and candy manufacturers of America.
    
    I had much rather someone bring me a cup of tea when I am too tired
    to move, before I ask for it, than have a card any day.
    
    M

Valentine's Day is a day that I studiously avoid...  I don't care to contribute
to promoting a commercialized occasion where millions of people are supposed to
act like trained seals for the benifit of Hallmark.

I express my love when and how I feel like it...  If it isn't there, a card on a
manditory occasion won't prove anything.  Sometimes I do get stared at in the
grocery store sometimes! ;-)

Jim.

    But, Jim, I assume you'd take into account how your SO might feel about
    the day as well.  Perhaps your heart wouldn't be in it (supporting
    Hallmark and all), but if it were important to your SO, wouldn't you
    try to somehow sacrifice those feelings for hers?
    
    Marge

    It's good for a relationship to take the other party's wishes into
    account, but remember, it works both ways. Ideally, A would get
    something for B, who loves to be "remembered" on holidays, but would
    also find ways to show affection on non-holidays - and B might remember
    not to take it personally if A happens to forget a holiday now and
    then.
    
    I spent some time in a relationship with someone who seemed to find the
    symbolic gestures more important than the mundane signs of
    consideration (like doing his chores without prompting). I'd much
    prefer 364 days of consideration to one day of long-stemmed roses or
    heart-shaped candy boxes. (It'd be nice to have both, though!)
    
    -b

    I got a phone call yesterday and knowing that it came despite an
    intense dislike for commercial holidays, it was appreciated.  
    
    There was thought involved and that is all that mattered.  I know
    that I would enjoy flowers, not so much for the thought, but for the
    impression it would make on my fellow workers.  
                                                            
    

    I guess it's too easy to become caught up in the commercialism of
    holidays such as Valentine's Day.   I would be much more "impressed",
    so to speak, by a spontaneous gesture than one warranted by Hallmark.
    		      ^^^^^^^^^^^
    			   |
    			 (hint hint hint hint)
    
    				:-)
    
    --Sharon
    

True, you can, and I do show my love on occasions without commercialism.
Handmade gifts are always nice.  And Luckily I'm not involved with yuppies
anymore, so the people who count are those who understand...

Jim.

                                                                  
    	I made the "mistake" *once* of not getting my SO something on
    this "occasion". Never again. It's a simple matter to think of her
    possible enjoyment of such, and pick up something if even on that
    very day. The feeling of "being left out" hurts. It takes a strong
    person to trully say "Ah - I dont care!" and mean it. Guaranteed,
    you'll get your chance to see how strong *you* are someday, perhaps
    via something "s/he just didnt happen to bother with" or whatever - 
    like some "meaningless" validating gesture you were "actually" hoping 
    for.
    
    	Joe Jas  

re: -1       -< Simply Considerate >-   exactly, Joe

I didn't recieve anything yesterday from my 'honey', but tried to consider
we have only been going together for 2 months and he had to go to class last
night.... but I was dissapointed.  Especially when two of my ole boyfriends
(we are still friends)called and sent cards!....it makes it worse. I guess
I'll just be alittle more understanding and find out his feelings.

    Having let go of an SO who was great at Hallmark (stock always went
    up when she hit the store before the holidays) and lousy at sharing
    herself and doing spontaneously caring things... I wouldn't worry
    about it too much.  The "cup of tea when I didn't ask," sounds great
    to me.  Rather have the substance than the symbol any day.

    I think its awful that there are many people in this world who didn't
    even have anyone to send flowers too, send a card to, or cook a
    dinner for (/be taken out to dinner), and when we do have "another"
    person in our life, we are critical.  
    
    For me, the biggest thing was, having come home from a Valentine's
    dinner, there sitting on my pillow was a handmade heart, with a
    verse that said "Happy V Day Mom, we love you"...  I sat and cried
    more over that, then ever getting flowers (although getting flowers
    is wonderful :-)...)
    
    If it was important to you, then why didn't you plan a nice special
    meal, cooked just for him, with some candle light? That way is could
    have become special for the both of you.

    Gale

    I would have been very hurt if my husband didn't acknowledge
    Valentines Day. So often during the year people forget about
    their loved ones. A little nudge once a year doesn't hurt. After
    all, he does choose my card among 1000 others and he reads a whole
    bunch before he picks one out.
    
    

    I'd feel pretty hurt, too, Sharon!  If you KNOW that such stupid
    little commericialized-tho-they-may-be holidays are important to
    your SO;  then DO something.  To me the issue isn't whether you
    and your SO are considerate and loving to each other all the other
    days of the year.  Valentine's Day is only one lousy day--why not
    make somebody happy?  How much does it cost in time or $ just to
    get someone an 'I love you' card?
    
    I agree with whoever said that if that's the way your SO truly is
    and you love him;  get used to it.  But if something like this really
    is important to you, then let him know--don't joke about it.  If
    you feel the hurt, then it's certainly real to you.  
                                               
    "So call me a gold-digger!"
    
    Jane

    HI,
    
    
    I agree with .16, yesterday I was really bummed out because you almost
    feel like a 'loser' if you don't get presents or cards from anyone on
    Valentines day :-), when I walked into work in the morning, and saw all
    those flowers in the lobby, it sorta hurt.  And the funniest thing is,
    Valentines day never bothered me before till I started working at DEC
    :-) it makes me wonder :-) :-), but then a friend called, and said,
    'Don't feel bad, you have your daughter, and she will ALWAYS be your
    honey', and she was right!  Then I felt better.  At least with her, I
    never have to worry about falling out of love, or having her fall out
    of love with me, she is forever.

    You're not alone, Sharon.  I didn't even get a "Happy Valentine's
    Day" from my husband; in fact, he acted like a day that is set aside
    to express special appreciation for the love in your life didn't
    even exist.  He has as many excuses/reasons as he chooses to have;
    however, it hurt yesterday and lingers on today.  I didn't "rub
    it in" by complaining or criticizing since it's a voluntary thing
    and should come from the heart, but even a scrap of paper with "I
    love you" on it, or a phone call at the office would have made me
    feel a little bit special.  Too many times in relationships, it
    becomes easy to forget the little unnoticed things that SO's do
    for each other.  A day like Valentine's Day is a nice way to remember
    those little things, so, to me, it is also important.  Even though
    I had work and class afterward, I tried to make his day a little
    special.  It made me feel as if I'm not special enough to have the
    thoughtfulness returned.
    
    As one forgotten woman to another --- a belated Happy Valentine's
    Day, Sharon!  May your life be filled with love!
    
    Barb

    For what's it's worth I'd also feel hurt, if I bought him/gave my
    SO a present of some sorts and I recieved nothing in return. But
    I must remember at those times for there has been some, that it
    is better in giving than in receiving. Also my So onced asked of
    me "when you give me something whatever, what do yu expect in return,
    or do you?" I have learned from this that When I give not to expect
    anything in return, for giving comes form the heart.
    
    lisa

    This note is so sad.  Here is something for all of you who did not
    get anything for Valentines Day.
    
    
                                **   **
                               *  * *  *
                              *    *    *
                             *           *
                            *    HAPPY    *
                           *               *
                           *  VALENTINE    *
                            *             *
                             *    TO     *
                              *         *
                               * ALL   *
                                *     *
                                 *   *
                                  ***

    I wouldn't avoid making some recognition of Valentine's day.  What
    if you really felt like doing something that day?  "Nope, I can't
    make a gesture, that would be commercial."  The commercialism doesn't
    come from people deciding that Feb 14 is the day for romantic gestures.
    The commercialism comes from people making romantic gestures on
    Feb 14 because that's when they're supposed to do it.  (To paraphrase,
    "Valentine's Day doesn't ruin romance, people ruin romance"....)
    
    If I had received something on previous Valentine's Days but not
    this one, I would be peeved and perhaps a bit concerned.  Why the
    change?  If the relationship had been going on for several years,
    I would want to know why I'm getting less attention on this occasion.

  What an interesting string of notes.  I, for one, have *hated* and *despised*
the 1980's (and '70s and...) concept of Valentines Day and Christmas.  Maybe
because things appear so damned obligatory, when you should be giving yourself/
card/flowers/choose-one because you *want* to and not because you have to.

  Yesterday I drove a friend of mine to a balloon shop in Worcester so she could
buy a balloon for her boyfriend.  After agonizing whether or not she should do
that (won't it send the wrong message?), she decided against and went to a card
shop next.  More agonizing ... "if I get him this, will he think I'm completely
in love with him, which I'm not?" and "But if I get him this, won't he think
I'm shallow and don't care at all?"  This was a case, IMHO, of doing something
because you think you should and not because it "feels right."  Seems like it
a case of form over substance.  Maybe.

  I've tended to avoid Valentine's day in the past when I wasn't too sure yet
where I stood with the other person and vice versa.  In retrospect, that may
not always have been the best approach.

    Allll right, Alllll right, I will put my two cents in on this
    one.....It seems to be the Valentines Day is getting  just like
    Christmas...more and more commercial every year.  Before it was
    a box of candy and a card.  NOW...it is gold jewelry, compact disc
    players, car telephones...ya know....the whole nine yards.
    
    Isn't it true...is anyone happy with just a card and a box of
    chocolate?
    
    
    
    I am not....I don't like chocolates!!!!
    
    
    Lynne

    Play it safe next year.  Give him his valentine at breakfast!
    Or, if you're not living together, sometime early in the day.
    
    --Louise

	 The day I let something like "commercialism" come between me
	 and the person I love, will someone please slap me back to
	 reality?

	 The phone call I got on V-Day from a "special friend" means
	 more to me than any "commercialized" gift.

	 k

    I was one of those who gave a valentine to an SO and didn't get
    anything back.  Big deal.  I know what he's like, and I know his
    "style".  Valentines ain't it.  He feels that it doesn't have to
    be a "special day" in order to buy me things or take me out for
    a romantic dinner.
    
    Not getting a Valentine doesn't bother me - but I'll tell you all
    what DOES.
    
    Inconsiderate and well-meaning people who say "He didn't get you
    anything???  What a (insert whatever insult suits your fancy)!!!"
    
    Now, THAT hurts.
    
    :-(
    
    Carol_who_didn't_expect_a_Valentine_and_wasn't_disappointed

    First of all there is a story behind Valentine's Day.  I only
    heard of it once.  I'm not sure but I think it's about a martyr
    named Valentine, who was in captivity, and he would send and recieve
    letters from his family and friends.....Valentine's day just grew
    from that.  ( I wish I remembered the whole story, it's really sweet.)
    
    	Valentine's Day was around way before Halmark or the candie
    companies.  So what if it's commercialized.  If someone is going
    to give me something because they feel that they are obligated to
    , I would rather not have it.   Valentine's Day is a great idea.
    What is wrong with having one day set aside to let people know that
    you care about them?  Especially, SO's.   If everyone took one day
    every year just to bluntly say "I love you" to their SO, maybe it
    would save alot of unhappiness.  
    
    	Valentine's Day (and X-mas) are comercialized but if we look
    beyond Halmark and into what the day is really about, we find that
    it truely is a very special holiday.  Just think how many marrigaes,
    proposals, and new couples that occur on Valentine's Day.  I think
    that it's great to have one day set aside for everyone to be romantic.
    I hope it never dies.
    
    
    	I didn't recieve anything on Valentine's Day.  It bothered me
    a little.  The biggest thing that upset me was that I didn't have
    someone I could share the day with.  It made me feel lonely not
    being able to give on Valentine's Day ( I gave anyhow but not to
    a SO.)  I feel that Valentine's Day should be at least one way of
    saying thank you for sharing yourself with me.  (The card I sent
    my best friend was a Thank you card.)
    
Bill
    

	When my mom called me Tuesday to see what I got, I asked her if she
    had gotten anything from my stepfather.  She said that they had talked
    about it and decided that they didn't need to give each other "things"
    to prove their love (aside from cards - we always exchange cards in my
    family).  Of course, he then surprised her and came home with a cute
    mylar balloon for her - she was surprised!  But they had talked about
    it, and set expectations (or lack thereof, in this case!).

    	I think that there's quite a bit of social pressure surrounding
    Valentine's day.  Many people do subscribe to the "Hallmark tradition",
    so that those who don't get anything often feel left out (unless
    there's an understanding).  I believe that it's nice to take a day (or
    more than one!) to show special appreciation for someone you really
    care about. No, it doesn't have to be February 14th, but that day is 
    as good as any other.  You needn't feel you're being too commercial.  
    I'm not saying to give just because everyone else is, but if you're 
    going to give anyway....  And if you don't get something back, well
    sometimes the appreciation/thanks can be gift enough!

    	Personally, I think half the fun is planning how to surprise
    someone!  ;-)


    	AbG

    
    I got a heart ballon, a bar of "lip" soap, some "Buzz's Love Fuel",
    and some turkey jerky. 
    
    Suprising how long the lines at the florist's was...

    RE:. 31 Surprising how long the lines at the florist was...
    
    	  Aw, but thats why you phone in your order :-)...  nah, all
    kidding aside...  wouldn't it be better to order your flowers in
    Nov or Dec for Feb?  (you can always cancel your order :-)...),
    why is it that in November, a dozen long stem roses is $22.00, but
    in Feb, the SAME flowers are >$60.00 a dozen???  (I know, I know,
    supply and demand, but still....)

    
      I sent my wife a dozen roses to where she works.  We have been
    married 15 years.  I know it means a lot to her. It IS important.
    
    Jack
    

    .2 said "Call and thank him for the flowers and say, "Weren't you being
    coy to sign the card 'A Secret Admirer'!" " 
    
    Well, I don't know who the joker is, but when I got to work this
    morning, there was a red rose in a vase on my desk, and sure enough,
    the card was signed "A Secret Admirer".  So, naturally I assumed it was
    John and sent him mail thanking him for it.  He called me up -- it
    wasn't him!!! 
    
    Now let's see what happens *next* year!  :-)
    
    --Sharon
    

    I think its a matter of preference.  Some people like to give
    gifts, flowers, etc. and some dont.  I guess its the little
    things you can do for someone that really matters. Personally, I
    like to get "something" for Valentines Day.  It just seems
    kind of traditional.  But maybe I should try to give more
    rather than expect to receive something every time. 
    
    
    Sara
    

    I don't know if you get this commercial in the States but over here in
    England we have a TV advert about "Rolo's" (Chocolates, with caramel
    in the middle).

    The character always has to debate whether to give his last
    Rolo to his girlfriend or keep it for himself.
    
    The emphasis is on                                       
     	                                                                
    	"Do you love any one enough to give them your last Rolo"        
       ==========================================================
                                                             
    So, this year instead of buying my hubbie a present I couldn't
    really afford, and one just because it was V-day, I thought I would
    do something different for him.  So I taped a pack of Rolo's (cost
    about 20p) in his card and a note saying that 
    
    	"I loved him enough to give him all my Rolo's"           
    	==============================================
                 
    He opened them up and guzzled them down, but he gave me the last
    one!!!!!!!!!!                                     
        
        
    Now that's love, who needs expensive gifts.  The little things people
    do are most appreciated.
    
    Tanya
    
    
    
                  

Re: .36


	That was great!  Like the "True meaning of Christmas", it sounds like
you also have the "True meaning of Love".  It's not the *thing* involved, it's
the thought and feeling behind it.  It's important that you *show* someone
how you feel, and as long as it's done in a reasonable, tasteful, caring way
it really doesn't matter *how* you do it.  Does it?


	As for myself, I *love* suprises!  There's nothing better than seeing
someone else's face light up because of something you did (or, if you can't
*be* there, at least to imagine it!).  I sent my girlfriend some roses with
balloons at work, and then rushed down after work to her appartment to place
a card, a stuffed gorilla (with a red heart patch on one arm that says "Me
Want Hug"), and some appropriate song lyrics on her table before she got home
from aerobics.  Then I rushed to a local sub/pizza shop to get a couple of
subs for dinner (I'd rather have made dinner myself, but on a work night with
only a certain amount of time it's just not practical).  I came back, hid the
car, and waited for her to get home.  I let her go in, see the stuff, look
around for me (I was fairly certain she was expecting something like that, so
I just *had* to surprise her *some*how!), and then I knocked!  Her first words
were, "I just *knew* you couldn't give me that stuff and just leave!!!"  ;-)


	I had so much fun plotting/planning!


	For her part, she really got me good.  Her and a friend came up to
where I work, and decorated my office with streamers of red and white, little
boxes of candy here and there, cards, and little notes stuck in various places
(I kept finding something new the whole day!).  I was the perfect sucker, as
I hadn't even *thought* of doing that.  I walked in, and thought I had the
wrong office!  ;-)  Then I sat down to just look around in amazement and enjoy
the sight.  I loved it!


	Always, it's the *thought* that counts.


Brian

	 RE; .36, .37

	 Yes!  DEFINATELY the meaning behind the gift is what counts!
	 I'd much rather have something small and from the heart than
	 something "traditional" that didn't really mean something...

	 What WONDERFUL ideas you all have!

	 k

    Being a bachelor myself I would not have much to offer Sharon except
    to say lets hope your fiance treats you as if every day is valentines
    day, not with gifts but with his actions.  Though I myself would
    not let the day pass by without anything if I had a significant
    other.
    
                                       Tim

    Just a thought, that it is better to be empty handed then empty
    hearted.

Has anyone ever gotten married/engaged/proposal/etc on Valentine's Day? Getting
born on Valentine's Day doesn't count; you don't have much control over that.

"Ooooh!  How Saccarin!" :->

As for a special day for your love...  what's so special about your love on
valentine's day?  Billions and Billions of people, everybody and their mother is
getting something on Valentine's Day.  I'd prefer to celebrate on a birthday or
anniversary...

Also, a labor of love has a way of not being quite ready when the imposed
occasion leaps upon you.   :-)  One of my Christmas presents just missed being
ready for Valentine's Day! :-}

But... whatever turns your crank... 

Jim.

    RE: -.1
    
    If there really are billions and billions of people getting something
    on Valentine's Day, Jim, isn't it nice they were at least remembered?
    I think Sharon's point was (and I may be wrong) that what she really
    wanted was just to be remembered/thought of in a special way on
    a special day.  A thoughtful moment would have done the job.  It
    doesn't take much to make someone's day a little brighter.  I think
    *that's* the point here--not commercialism, not big or costly gifts,
    not being a member of the crowd, but just something a little bit
    touching to make her feel special.  Isn't that what love is all
    about--special feelings and expressions thereof everyday (including
    holidays)?
    
    Sounding flip does not help the writer of the basenote feel any
    better.  I think she came here for a little TLC from fellow noters,
    not "whatever turns her crank."
    
    Barb

    Better Late than never... It sounds like it does matter to you.
    Thus, you should express your feelings to him.  
    
    Dan  

    Lately I've really been enjoying Valentine's Day, mostly because of the
    flowers.
    
    Not that I've gotten any myself, but that they're around (in stores, at
    work) and they're beautiful! If the commercialization of this holiday
    means that more flowers will be around, then I'm all for it.
    
    I do like to think of Valentine's Day as more than a holiday for
    couples, though: more like a celebration of love, whether it's love of
    yourself, love of just being alive, or whatever. 

    re:  -1 PNEUMA::WILSON
    
    Looks like I'll be doing just that....buying myself flowers!!
    
    
    

I asked Sharon (author of the base note) if this Valentine's Day had been
any kinder to her, and she said it had.

I was also empty-handed last Valentine's Day, but I knew in my heart that 
things would get better for me.  And they did.  You have to believe in
yourself, because no one else will do it for you.

				Steve

    Well, since I was expecting nothing for Valentine's, I was very touched
    to find a pink rosebud waiting for me on my desk. I have no idea who it
    is from, but it was nice to be remembered.
    
    Tamzen

    I think the worst thing ever is getting a dozen roses sent to
    you that you really wish had not been sent...  I'd rather not get
    anything, then to get them and have the feelings not returned...
    especially with the cost of roses at this time of year!
    
    On the other hand...  I did get another dozen also, and the smile those
    brought was worth every sentiment they were meant to give!!
    
    Tamzen...  don't you HATE not knowing? :-)

	 Well, Valentine's day is half-over, and I've gottena couple
	 sweet valentine wishes from some wonderful friends over the
	 net today.......

	 What I hate about Valentine's Day is the fact that people say
	 "what! I thought you were dating so-and-so, and he never even
	 mentioned V-day to you?  What kind of clod is he???"

	 I think Valentine's Day is every day.  If I care about
	 someone, I show them that love all year long.  I like sending
	 cards and maybe giving them a little something every once in
	 awhile, but it's not a once-a-year thing.  I feel the love is
	 FAKE if the person is only mushy and caring once a year.

	 It's not that I don't enjoy getting things on Valentine's
	 Day....I do and it means a lot to me.....and I'm very
	 susceptible to the guilt other's lay on you when you don't
	 get something (even just a soft kiss and a hug) because I'm a
	 very insecure person about the people I love......


	 I think it's just that I like something small and from the
	 heart from my Valentine, rather than something big and from
	 the pocketbook.  And for my Valentine, Valentine's Day is
	 everyday.


	 kath

    I have been in this country for quite a while and in many respect 
    have been assimilated, but I have always been and still am baffled
    by the reasons as to why people send flowers as gifts.  To me, few 
    things are worse than oberving a bunch of fresh roses gradually but 
    inevitably wither and die in my living room, and finally tossed away 
    with the garbage, and all this happening in about two weeks....
    
    Eugene

    
    
    	re: Gale
    
    	I don't know about Tamzen but *I* hate not knowing. 
    	Our facility sells carnations to raise money for Employee
    	Activities here at DSG.  They cost $1.50 and they will 
    	deliver them for you.  You can put your name on it or
    	do it anonymously.  Well, someone decided to send me one
    	and sign it 'guess who'.  I still don't know who 'guess who'
    	is!!  And it's driving me nuts!!  =)
    
    	JJ
    

    Re: .49
    
    Well said, kath!
    
    Actually, that's the attitude I have about pretty much ALL
    holidays.  I'll celebrate something when *I* feel like
    celebrating, dammit!  I don't need Hallmark or Miss Manners
    telling me that I have to do and feel certain things on
    certain days... especially if I don't feel like it that
    day.
    
    Holidays are like any other day to me... and any day can
    be a holiday if you want!
    
    [Anybody for some Christmas cookies? 8-) 8-) 8-) ]
    
    --jim
    

         Was it an infection alert?
    
                                        Greg

    RE: VD Card
    
         I knew you would have been disappointed if someone hadn't seized
    that straight-line.
    
    RE: Valentine's Day Cards
    
         I got a perfect card from a friend with impeccable taste.  Made my
    day.  This one gets framed.
    
                                        Greg
         

    
    Sending anonymous greetings never really caught on here... it's 
    just regarded as another odious male chauvinist mannerism.
    
    Save your flower money; go have a beer at the 101 Club instead...

I don't look at it as someone just being "mushy" one day a year at all.  Now if
that person does that, then that is pretty sorry.  I think it's fine to have a
special day on the calendar to do something a little extra for someone and
show/remind them that they are special.  Yea, it can get pretty commercial.  I
purchased a dozen roses yesterday for the price of a couple of dinners, (which
the dinner comes this weekend in Denver, weather permitting). And really,
flowers don't do anything for me, but hey... that's me.

I do like the cute little teddy bear I got though....  :^)

-dwight

    			     ***   LOVE   ***


	We spend so much time looking for the right person to love
	or finding fault with those we already love,
	when instead we should be perfecting the love we give to others.

	This is the only way we can ever truly be satisfied 
	with anyone or anything - for in loving,
	we find love itself.


	(From "A collection of thoughts to brighten your day")

 I just had to laugh yesterday. All the little robots, doing exactly as
programmed. So many people walking with little white boxes or paper cones with
foliage hanging out. And many red or pastel envelopes....

 I actually got my Valentine a card, and a bag of pistachios. She appreciates
the pistachios more than $50 worth of flowers, and I'm $47 richer. On the
other hand, we did buy a new phone and TV this week... :-)

 The Doctah

         Hey, if those robots are doing what they want to do, then so be
    it.  Sure, it's trendy to criticize holidays, but all the criticism in
    the world won't stop them if even one person LIKES it.
    
                                     Greg

    I received a Valentine and it was much appreciated.  I think
    remembering someone when the mood strikes is nice but it appears 
    to me that those that criticize holidays tend to dislike people,
    Wall Street or Hallmark telling them what to do.
    
    I appreciate the fact that my friend thought of me and planned the 
    purchase and mailing of the card so that it would coincide with
    the holiday.  Having been an afterthought for so many years it was
    refreshing. ;-)
    
    

 re: red stains from pistachios

 Nah- I got the natural colored ones. :-)

 re: criticism of holidays

 Actually, I was just commenting on how funny it is that so many people engaged
in strikingly similar behaviors at a certain time. It seemed to me that we 
looked like we were prgorammed by some unseen force. I wasn't claiming that
Valentine's day is a bad holiday or anything.

 The Doctah

    
    The fact that most people will attempt to give their special friend(s)
    a token of rememberance on some state-sanctioned holiday is no more
    predictable than the fact the some people will *not* just because it
    *is* state-sanctioned.
    
    Both behaviors seem perfectly normal [ie: within acceptable and easily
    predictable limits statistically speaking] to me.
    
    [grin]
    
    Melinda

    Well, even my Mom forgot to send me a card this year!
    
    I guess you get what you give!  :-)
    
    Jim
    

    My mom called on saturday to say thanks for the card I sent her (I was
    the only one (other than my sister who still lives at home) who
    thought/remembered.  It was special to me to *feel* her appreciation.
    
    Happy Presidents Day to all.  Enjoy the day at work. Of coarse a lot of
    *other* people have the day off.
    

    I got two cards for Valentine's day, didn't give any.  ::sigh::
    
    ...
    
    From the You Really Didn't Need to Know Dept:
    
    More employers in the state of MA give Presidents Day off to their
    employees than the day after Thanksgiving.  Fully 79% of employees
    in the state of MA have today off.  Patriot's Day stats weren't
    even on the list.  
    
    Just trivial info that admittedly, has nothing to do with Valentine's
    Day.                                         
    
    8)
    
    ---kim