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Conference quark::human_relations-v1

Title:What's all this fuss about 'sax and violins'?
Notice:Archived V1 - Current conference is QUARK::HUMAN_RELATIONS
Moderator:ELESYS::JASNIEWSKI
Created:Fri May 09 1986
Last Modified:Wed Jun 26 1996
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1327
Total number of notes:28298

1299.0. "Pressures" by QUARK::MODERATOR () Thu Sep 17 1992 14:31

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				Steve




 
    I've been in a rut for the last couple of months. I don't know why,
    but I have a good idea it's just from the stress of the layoffs and my
    work situation. I have been going to night school and this has helped a
    great deal because I'm out of the house at least a couple nights a
    week and feeling productive.
    
    Work is work. We are all feeling the pressures from the layoffs and
    rumors.  Sometimes thinking about all of this gets the better of me. 
    I can't seem to find the right outlet to get over these feelings of
    helplessness, hopelessness or what I'm worth in this life.  It's
    either feast or famine.  My attitude has been lousy lately and it's
    not in my nature.  I know that it's due to the situations in work.  I
    am working on changing that but sometimes it seems like things will
    never change and the process is slow.  
    
    Besides work, I'm finding myself overwhelmed with family
    situations/problems. I try not to worry about "everyone", but sometimes
    it's just too much. I know I can't fix certain things but I am there
    for support.  Sometimes I need the support too regarding how I'm
    feeling. I'm finding that I'm not getting it from my family or my
    friends.   
    
    Does this make sense? Does anyone else have these same feelings?  Maybe
    I'm off the wall and making a big deal out of nothing, but this is
    driving me crazy.
    
    Any help/suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
    
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1299.1SCHOOL::BOBBITTbut that coccoon has to go...Thu Sep 17 1992 15:1028
    
    I know my morale has affected my productivity.
    
    I just do my work one day at a time.
    Seeing a counselor has helped.
    Leaning on friends, talking when I need to.
    Writing/jotting in a journal has helped me wrangle some sense and
    	patterns and try to look at them objectively.
    
    The one thing that's REALLY important to get is:
    
    the circumstances at DEC, financially, in the world, war, politics,
    famine, AIDS, etc - THEY AREN'T ABOUT YOU.  It's UTTERLY impersonal. 
    That may make you feel helpless, but it may also help you remove a
    tremendous burden from your shoulders - if you couldn't have caused it,
    you can't fix it - and you shouldn't be held responsible for fixing it.
    
    This is me projecting, so if the above doesn't fit, don't try to make
    it fit.
    
    Are there any creative aspects of your life (art, sculpture, painting,
    music, dancing, reading, writing, getting together with friends) that
    give you a strong sense of simple pleasure and self-worth?  Make sure
    these things make it into your schedule.
    
    -Jody
    
    -Jody
1299.2HDLITE::ZARLENGAMichael Zarlenga, Alpha P/PEGThu Sep 17 1992 15:515
    re:.0
    
    I work out to relieve stress.
    
    Physical exhaustion works wonders to counteract mental stress.
1299.3CCAD23::TANHow Many Light Years to Betelgeuse?Thu Sep 17 1992 23:1632
    I feel as you do whenever I have no control over the situation.  It's
    hard, but sometimes you just have to accept that it happens and worrying
    can't resolve or achieve anything.  I think that what's different for you
    this time, is in the following para:

    >Besides work, I'm finding myself overwhelmed with family
    >situations/problems. I try not to worry about "everyone", but sometimes
    >it's just too much. I know I can't fix certain things but I am there
    >for support.  Sometimes I need the support too regarding how I'm
    >feeling. I'm finding that I'm not getting it from my family or my
    >friends.

    Even the strongest of us need support.  Sometimes people who aren't in the 
    same situation as you (redundancies etc), simply do not know how to
    empathise.  They don't know how you feel or how to relate to your needs.

    Then there are those in the proverbial same boat, who won't give you the
    support, because they're trying not to be reminded of things.  

    Is it any wonder that you're feeling so down?  
      
    >Does this make sense? Does anyone else have these same feelings?  Maybe
    >I'm off the wall and making a big deal out of nothing, but this is
    >driving me crazy.

    You're not alone, you're not crazy and don't let it drive you there.  It's
    hard to suggest things to someone else to try and alleviate the stress,
    we've all got our own safety valves.  Hang in there.

    regards,

    Joyce
1299.4ChillDELNI::SUMNERThu Sep 24 1992 01:4416
     Grab a lawn chair, maybe a sweater, go out side about 10 minutes 
    before the sun goes down, listen to the neighborhood kids make their
    last yells before going in for the night, listen for the geese
    circling around while scouting out their nest for the night, watch
    a few jets go overhead and wonder where they are going, stare at
    the first couple of stars you can see and think about how long it 
    took for their light to reach your eyes, let your mind wander and 
    wonder about all the good things that could happen to you next week 
    or next month.
    
     In some ways this is a good relaxing thing to do. In other ways,
    it helps to realize that the world can go on without you for about
    a half hour. Your mileage *will* vary...
    
    
    Glenn
1299.5TRACTR::HOGGEI am the King of NothingThu Sep 24 1992 13:0512
    >You'll realize the world can go on without you for about a half hour.
    
    
    IF you do the things you suggest, you'll come to understand that the 
    world will go on without you regardless.  There for, getting worked 
    up over the things affecting you is really only slef damaging, and no
    one else will understand or be able to do anything about it.  So
    why let it 'dig in under the skin'?  The world is a wonderful place 
    to stop what you're doing and take a look around, even for a minute.
    And it's amazing what you can see and do in that one minute.  
    
    Skip