| <<< Note 1238.0 by VSSCAD::BARLOW >>>
-< Meeting your father for the very first time. >-
<he was a result of an one night stand">
<and that his father wanted nothing to do with him.>
<On all of his important documents---birth certificate,>
<Army documents, marriage license--it reads "FATHER UNKNOWN">
I don't know if you're looking for advice here or not, but I would
wait to find out more details before condemning your M-I-L for committing
"some horrible act" 24 years ago. Believe me, both mom and dad will
have a very different version of what the "truth" is.
My biological father "reappeared" in my life when I was 28. I hadn't
seen him in 19 years. His "reappearance" caused my own parents to relive
a lot of painful memories. It wasn't necessary!
I would suggest 2 sources - your local EAP and the Adoption notes file.
Rochelle
|
| Three friends of mine just met their fathers for the first time. One is
40, one is 36 and the other is 45. All of these people are *so* happy.
All of their mothers are *so* unhappy. All three have expressed
feelings of completeness, of knowing where they come from and the joy
of finally having a DAD! Watching them go through finding them, the
initial contact and finally meeting their fathers, was a wonderful
experience. All 3 of these people have found something so wonderful
and something they thought they would never have. All 3 have dealt
with their mothers in the same way. The have all stood up for their
right to know their fathers, regardless of how mom feels. They have
all been clear that they love mom, but they want and need to know their
fathers.
Best wishes to your husband and his father! :-)
Karen
|
| I have 2 view on this subject:
I met with my bio. father, after he and my mom divorced when I was 9,
at age 26. I had all kinds of dreams of us becoming good friends and
I'd have a dad finally and all that stuff. Well, the reunion was
great. He came over 2000 miles to visit me and my 3 sisters ( his 4
daughters, after Debra-my younger sister looked him up) but when I came to
his town to live, the illusion
disappeared. He's my dad, but it doesn't feel like it at all.
I'm glad to know him verses not but I'll always feel fatherless. And I
guess I still feel resentful.
cindy
|