Conference quark::human_relations-v1

1131.0. ""Wrong", after all these years?" by QUARK::HR_MODERATOR () Thu Jan 17 1991 13:44

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				Steve






    I've just had a heart to heart with my boss, and I'm in shock.
    
    I've just been told that, in his perception, I don't have the skills to
    do my job, and that he'd like me to move or leave Digital.
    
    I am struggling to understand this. I have been filling this job
    successfully (met all goals, got pay rises) for five years.
    
    I was not particularly ambitious when I joined Digital about nine years
    ago - this company showed me what I might be. It encouraged me to reach
    further, and learn new skills. It encouraged me to go for a high-level,
    very well-paid job - and, after eight months of intensive assessment, I
    got that job.
    
    I've been doing the job for five years. After two years I was
    "rightsized" only, of course, "rightsizing" didn't exist then so there
    was no package, counselling, support or anything. I was very unhappy,
    and asked if I'd  provoked this at all. I was told "No. Just last in,
    first out. Sorry." I had achieved all my goals during those years. I
    was "successful". I subsequently learned that I could probably have
    successfully sued DEC at that point....
    
    Anyway. I stayed with DEC, and moved to another location which involved
    me commuting. I hated the commuting, but my new manager inspired me and
    restored my faith in DEC. That manager then moved, and then started
    eighteen months of absolute misery with managers that I didn't choose
    and, somehow, couldn't get on with. I hated the commuting - it ruined
    my social life, and the long hours and exhaustion wrecked my main
    relationship. There has been a lot of  change in my orgnisation's
    structures, and IMO I have ended up with a "non-job".  However,
    rightsizing will not be considered. I can't move location and get rid
    of this commuting situation unless I'm in the transition pool. Which I
    can't get into because I'm not "rightsizeable".
    
    And then this happens.
    
    What particularly hurt is that my present manager said that the manager
    who restored my faith in DEC was coming back to my area, but he didn't
    want me to work for him. 
    Why? If so, why did he hire me in the first place??
    I think I may just ask him.
    
    I feel OK about coping with the changes and stuff - I've got lots of
    plans going on and enquiries in progress. And I don't feel sorry for
    myself. I take responsibility for my own part in this. But I'd like
    your views on how you'd have handled the same sort of situations....
    
    What I can't understand is why, one day, I'm a "good" DEC employee and
    the next I am so "bad" that I should leave. I've always asked for
    feedback.
    I've always listened to the feedback I got, and implemented change
    where I could.
    I have cared, often passionately, about our company.
    I believe in quality, and I've always tried to live that in my job.
    
    What went wrong??

What went wrong is that the people who managed you were incompetent.

They were managers but didn't manage.

They avoided your problems and let you drift along thinking you were doing
the right work, taking the easy way out.   The one manager who you felt you
worked well with transferred away and successfully avoided the issue of "you",
and when asked to take you again, got the opportunity to avoid it.

There are a number of things that make managers like you; First, your
attitude. Then, your "work-ethic", then the skills you can provide. Notice that
you said you achieved all the goals they gave you, did these fall under the
"skills" category - thereby leaving the Attitude and Work-ethic category
lacking?

The mgr told you you didnt have the skills to do the job...get him/her to 
write down what skills he is exactly talking about. Ask for help, pin them down
to specifics.  I'll bet they don't come up with anything concrete; then you
can ask what the real problem is.

Keep trying!!!

And also remember, you are not the first one to be treated badly by managers
in Digital; get yourself up and try to be open to critism; things will turn out
ok if you perservere. I guess the message is - Don't give up.

    
    I wonder about your assessment which you worded:
    
    	...the long hours and exhaustion wrecked my main relationship
    
    Could you please elaborate on this ?  I suspect there may be more to
    your situation than just a "problem with the boss".
    
    In my own life, sometimes I think someone else is "doing it to me" and
    it's not necessarily that way.
    
    /Eric

    did he justify the things he thought you were doing wrong..if he did
    and you do not agree , challenge him by asking a different manger or
    someone else in a position of authourity that knows you...do not let
    youre self esteem and career go down the drain because of what seems to
    be a bad manager....because if you don't have the skills they should be
    encourageing you to get the skills by either courses or on the job
    trainging...please don't take just this guys word for it...as it sems
    you have done real well otherwise.
    
    
    Tracie.

    re .0 Please take time and talk to the manager who you really liked.
    Your current mmanager may be playing head games with you to force
    you out. Your old manager may be unaware of your situation, maybe
    is being mis-represented, might even be delighted to know you're 
    available to go back to work for them.