Conference quark::human_relations-v1

    
    I lost my job at a University after 15 years of going from clerk to
    technician to programmer to computer science faculty member. I was,
    needless to say, quite despondant about it.
    
    First I was angry. ANd when I was angry I hated people who tried to
    tell me not to be angry. I hated the G_D SOB who chose to let me go and
    anyone else that even faintly smelled of the event.
    
    Then I was terribly sorry for myself. And when I was sorry for myself,
    I hated anyone who tried to help me see the brighter side of things.
    Afterall, I had devoted my entire working career to this place and they
    turned me out without so much as twinge of guilt.
    
    Then the miracle happened. My husband who had finally had just about
    enough of an emotional roller-coaster ride to last him for the rest of
    his days, said the thing that turned my llife around. He said:
    
    "So what?"
    
    "What do you mean so what...my entire life..."
    
    "Spare me. I and everyone else within shouting distance has heard it
    all several times. I said 'So What?' There are other crises in the
    world, there are people dying, there are children starving...you still
    healthy and well-fed to me. So get off your arse and go find something
    to do. Something new...something old...even something free...just DO
    something."
    
    Since that day, I have never let concern about a job worry me. And
    before everyone jumps in to say that we have two incomes and that makes
    a difference...I guess it would under normal circumstances...but my
    husband is self-employed and not only is his line of business subject
    to huge vaillation in income and cash flow...we have always depended on
    my job to provide health care et al. So losing my income was more than
    just an inconvenience...at that time it removed 80% of our dosposable
    income, and...I was inelligle for unemployment becuase my LAST position
    at the University was as a faculty member and in NH, that is considered
    'seasonal' contract and therefor inelleigible.
    
    Anyway...the point I am sharing here is...[flourish]
    
    First...I needed to go through anger and despair. I earned it. Anyone
    who has the tarr kicked out of 'em does. During that time, there is
    NOTHING that anyone can say that will help...no right words...no
    correct suggestions. Silence is sometimes the nicest thing that someone
    can offer...that and remembering NOT to talk shop while they are
    around.
    
    Second, there finally comes the time [and it is different for different
    people] that if the person hasn;t pulled themselves up by the boot
    straps, they need a kick in the rear. I didn't manage it by myself...
    it took someone I loved telling me to 'can it, already'. Knowing 'when'
    it's time to do that is, like I said, a miracle.
    
    Third, it helps THEN to have someone tell you to try anything you like.
    Being forced to leave the University turned out to be a turning point
    in my life. I started the business that I had always wanted to but
    didn't dare...I consulted for two years...and when I re-entered the
    business job market I landed a job for more money than I could have
    RETIRED at the good old U.
    
    Finally, I found that going into an interview with the attitude "I will
    do anything, just give a job" did not work. It was during a 'recession'
    also and people who _were_ hiring could be very choosy. They didn't
    want anybody...they wanted sombody with a singular idea about what they
    could do for a singular job/company. I learned the hard way to do my
    homework and go in with an OFFER for the company instead of a request
    for a job.
    
    Sooo...my 2 cents worth from being there a few years back.
    
    Melinda

         Let's see.  I guess I learned a few things during the 3 layoffs at
    INMOS that I survived.
    
         1. Don't talk about the office voluntarily to someone who has 
    	    been laid-off.  If they ask, answer the question concisely
    	    and try to get to another subject.
    
         2. Don't bring up the topic of the job search too often.  They are
    	    worrying about it already and need to talk about something else
    	    to get their mind off of it.  Ignore this suggestion if you 
    	    have a real job lead to give them.
    
    	 3. Try to make time to do more things with them.  Low-cost and
            no-cost activities make great diversions, and they don't make the
            friend feel like they are taking hand-outs.
    
         These things seemed to work with my friends, and they worked with 
    me before I got on with DIGITAL.
    
                                           Greg

    To spend lots of time with the affected person worked very well with
    us... we had a friend laid off and took a year to get a job... during
    that time we spent lots of time with them, and in private offered leads
    and followed those with them... clipped and saved any advertisements or
    leads to a job and actively offered any kind of help, (professional,
    personal, financial, etc) of course all this depends of the degree of
    closeness or friendship to the person, an acquaintance should be
    treated with tact not to offend his/her pride and not do things that
    would resemble hand-outs... Tact should be emphasized in all situations
    to avoid hurting sensitivities.
    

    
    
    My father's been out of work for 6 months now.  He was laid off from 
    a "major defense company."   We deal with it the best we can.  I read
    the want ads in the Globe every Sunday and he can be found in the
    libraries and at the employment office just about all the time.  He's
    in an industry where there are severe cutbacks right now and the outlook
    is grim.  
    
    We deal with it the best we can.  They have a lot of savings that was
    meant for retirement and they are slowly working thru that.  Dad is the
    kind of person who keeps a lot of stuff bottled up inside, I don't know 
    how he's dealing with it internally.  
    
    Hopefully something will be coming up soon for him.....layoffs are a
    fact of life (he was laid off in '70 from Boeing) and we all deal with
    it.  
    
    I think optimism and hope are what keep us....and moreover,
    him...going.
    
    kath

    About the only thing I can suggest NOT to do, is to tell the person
    that he/she is fortunate to be free of the anxiety of waiting for the
    shoe to drop.  That just isn't so, unless the person is financially
    well-off.  When I was layed-off, there wasn't a moment of relaxation
    until I had a job offer in my hand.
    
    If you're in a position to offer yourself as an employment reference,
    do so.  If you haven't acted in this capacity before, prepare yourself
    for the eventual phone call you'll get from a potential employer. 
    These folks are very good at pulling information out of a reference,
    and your job is to put the truth in as positive a light as you can. 
    References are very important, and I know that I really appreciated
    such an offer.
    
    If you know a GOOD head-hunter (almost a contradiction in terms), offer
    that information too.  One that was recommended to me turned out to be
    a real help, both in finding a suitable job and in reinstating my
    self-esteem.  
    
    You might also remind the person that networking is often the most
    fruitful way to find a job.  Suggest that some effort be put into
    identifying potentially helpful people -- colleagues, vendors, etc.
    
    Incidentally, I think the best thing a manager can do for a person that
    they have to lay-off is to offer himself as a reference.  This may
    sound awkward, but if the person was at least an average performer, a
    manager should have enough savvy to deal with the questions from
    potential employers in a positive way.  This is probably against some
    DEC policy due to liability risks, but on a personal level it could
    make all the difference.
    
    Tony

	This seems like a good place for a concern regarding the "layoffs".
What we're hearing is that it isn't going to officially be called "layoff",
but rather Phase 3 of transition.

	What my concern is, is this.  With a layoff, potential employers are
going to look at a potential employee as having lost his job due to lack of
work.  With DEC referring to this as Phase 3 of Transition, my concern is
that potential employers are going to look at potential employees as "dead
wood" that DEC was getting rid of, especially where performance is being
used as one of the criteria.

	It makes me feel that DEC is doing what looks the best for DEC and
not what is going to make it easier for those loosing their jobs to find new
ones.  With the job market as it currently is, especially in New England, this
just seems like one more obstacle for those looking for jobs to overcome.

Faith

    I would say, "Gee, that sucks" and let them decide if and how they
    want to discuss it further. 

    Re.6...
    
    I think that with the media coverage and the way the "layoffs" have
    been discussed that there really isn't any basis for you to be
    concerned.
    
    Also with the labor laws covering an employees rights there isn't much
    a person and can say that would keep them from getting a new job with 
    a different company.
    
    Skip

    Times are tough here right around now
    I've put together a  compilation of two seminars: 
    "Living with Transition",
    and
    "Looking at your Career in a Changing Environment"


    The notes from these two seminars are available for sharing
    company-wide (they're extremely time-sensitive though....who knows what
    this will all look like 6 months from now!)

    they include information about
    
    the sequence of events that may happen if you get the package
    what may happen if you don't get the package
    actions you can take that make a difference
    resources available inside and outside the company
    ways of handling the stress



    Please copy them from:

    LEZAH::SWDOC4:[CUP$INTERNAL_DOC]LIVING_WITH_TRANSITION.PS

    (also available in .TXT format there, if you have no postscript
     printer)