Conference quark::human_relations-v1

    
    I don't assume *anything* about people not wearing wedding rings.
    
    I don't assume anything about those who do either.
    
    Same goes for any other common "symbols".
    
    I think the wmn who flamed at you had an attitude problem - maybe
    arising from a past experience she'd had (?).
    
    'gail                                        

Not sure about in the States... but its only recently here that men wearing a
wedding band has become popular anyway...

The way I view it is a wedding band says "I am definitely married", no wedding
band means "I might be"... unless its a woman...I would nearly always expect a
woman to wear a ring (probably because jewellry is typically feminine anyway).


Xtine

 

    re: .2
    
>The way I view it is a wedding band says "I am definitely married"
    
    That's not always true.  When I was in college a number of freshman
    women wore wedding or engagement rings which belonged to their mothers
    or grandmothers.  One explained she did this to fend off the wolves.

    
    	I know one fellow who isn't married but uses a wedding
    	ring when travelling.  He says it's easier to pick up 
    	women who see the ring and figure he probably doesn't
    	have a transmittable disease.
    
    	I wore a ring during my marriage although I didn't like
    	it clicking against my guitar and banjo necks.
    
    	My dad and my brother never wore rings or watches for fear
    	of accidents on the job.  Dad was an electrician and my
    	brother was a mechanic.
    
    ralph

hmm...sounds to me that the woman was just mad because she wasted all that
time talking to you only to find out she couldn't keep you  :-)

My husband doesn't wear a ring either, and I couldn't care less. I probably
wouldn't wear one, except my father actually gave me my ring. It
belonged to his mother and since I'm his only daughter he wanted me to
have it.

Jenna

    
    
    I agree with .5
    
    bonnie

    What I want to know is if there are any women out there who don't
    wear a wedding band.  Personally, if both people agree, than it
    doesn't matter if a ring is worn.  If you have a bad marriage, a
    ring is not going to keep someone from fooling around.
    
    kkay

    
    
    In my opinion its up to the married couple if rings are a necessary
    part of the relationship.....the object is trust here.  I know many men
    who are carpenters, electricians, etc. where their jobs pose a danger
    if wearing a wedding band.  Alot of men also feel the same way - they
    don't like wearing jewelry or may have an alergy to some metals, etc.
    
    These days its not uncommon for married men to not wear their wedding
    bands.........it doesn't necessarily mean they're cheating and I
    feel its extremely poor judgement of someone who deams a wedding band
    as a necesity.................
    
    However, Gene - does your wife wear a wedding band????
    
    - Lynn
    

    During the 15 years of my marriage I didn't wear a ring. Neither did my
    husband. Nobody ever accused me of lying because I didn't. liesl

    I don't wear a ring. Might someday, but I don't find it necessary.
    
    Tamzen

    I'm getting married in 5 weeks.  Both my fiance and I plan on wearing
    rings - we bought matching ones.  I like the idea that my future
    husband plans on wearing one, but it was his choice.  If he had a job
    in which a ring could be dangerous (mechanic, electrician, etc.) I
    wouldn't want him to wear a ring.  His brother is married and doesn't
    like jewelry and also has a job working with electricity.  He doesn't
    wear his ring on a regular basis, but when him and his wife go out and
    sometimes on weekends he wears it.
    
    As stated before - it is TOTALLY up to the couple to decide what is
    comfortable for them.  If you don't mind and your wife doesn't mind
    then nobody else really has any right to complain.
    
    

    
    I agree that it IS up to the couple.  However, I personally take mine
    off if my husband doesn't wear his.  If he wants to look single, then
    so do I.  If you have a dangerous job, then that's also a different
    situation.  Personally, I think rings were invented to show ownership,
    which also defined the wedding ceremony.  (Handing off property from
    father, previous owner, to husband, new owner.)  Then the wife wore her
    ring to show that she was owned.  (Just like the Hindu's wear dots on
    their heads.)  Then men didn't wear rings because they weren't owned,
    only women were.  So, when I see a man who doesn't wear a ring, while
    his wife does, I tend to think that he's sexist.  I just don't believe
    that someone could dislike jewelry so much that they would remove the
    symbol of their marriage, unless it was agreed upon previously that the
    ring really was NOT a symbol of love for eternity.
    
    Rachael
    

    My husband and I wore matching rings.  He lost his about ten years ago,
    and I quit wearing mine about two years ago.
    
    aq
    

    
    
    I agree that it should be left up to couple. If the guy/girl doens't
    want to wear one, then so be it...end of story.
    
         Yes, I am married. I choose to wear my
    wedding band (hey, I like it...looks good on me! :*)). They key
    word here is choice. As long as the choice is there, then I have
    no problem with it...if I was forced to wear it, then I would be
    PO'd...
    
    
    
    
              just my $.02
    
    
                 jim s.

No one has discussed the "other" version....

What if you're getting married, and you DON'T like wearing rings, but your
"wife-to-be" insists on you wearing one so that the world can see you're taken!

Personally, I have NEVER liked wearing rings.  They bother me and drive me
crazy.

-dwight

    >What if you're getting married, and you DON'T like wearing rings, but
    >your "wife-to-be" insists...
    
    ...then you wear one.  You have to learn to follow orders sooner or
    later.  ;-)
    
       - Larry

Re: .17

Then I'd say your relationship is off to a bad start.  And can only get
worse from there.  If two people don't share enough of the same values so
as to come to an agreement on a symbolic gesture such as wearing a ring,
I have doubts about their ability to work out other issues in their life
together.

					Steve

    So put the ring on a chain and wear it around your neck.  My father
    did for 25 years until he retired.  Then he took it off the chain
    and started wearing it on his hand again.  
    
    Just a suggestion...
    
    Skip

    Hold it guys!  I was just thinking out loud!  It ain't my problem, yet! 
    
    -dwight

    
    Two questions.............first off Gene, if your wife stopped wearing
    her ring (and went to the local tavern - for a "team-meeting") - how
    would you feel?  Your contradicting yourself here - nobody OWNS
    anybody.
    
    Second - why bother buying a wedding bands only to serve for ceromonial
    purposes and never wear the ring again?
    
    Like I said in earlier reply, I don't have a problem with a man that
    doesn't wear a wedding band, but always remember....."if you can't
    take it, don't dish it out".
    
    -Lynn

    
    I got married on December 22nd.  Since then I've gained some weight
    (shows I'm happy?) and can't fit into the rings - which really upsets
    me!  I LOVE those rings!!!  My husband wants me to lose the weight
    instead of sizing up the rings.  So, I'm stuck with no rings until
    I can shed the extra weight (maybe when winter comes again the swelling
    won't be so bad :) )  
    
    In the meantime, I'm ringless and my husband is the one wearing
    the rings in the house.
    
    
    					jean

    
    Sorry Gene, I misunderstood your noting.......I take back my questions.
    
    -Lynn
    

    
    In my travels, wedding rings don't mean anything. As has been
    mentioned, some young women wear cheap ones, or family heirlooms to
    ward off the wolves.
    
    My wife and I have both gained weight and neither wear our rings.
    Our agreement is that we can remain ringless until someone makes a pass
    at us :-). 
    
    But, 50 Lbs ago, when I was still wearing my ring, I got more offers
    from both single and married women, than before I got married. In fact,
    one bizzare incident was when I rebuffed the advances of a young woman
    at a bar. Then all her neighbors, who were with her (both male and
    female) tried to talk me into going home with this woman. They were all
    saying "I know you're married, but so and so really likes you and..."
    
    I really thought my wife was playing a joke on me and she would walk
    into the bar at any moment.
    
    
    Guy
    

	I already wear my class ring.  A second ring on my other hand
	would complement it rather well. :-)

	Dan

    JEAN,
    
    START JOGGING!

    Jean,
    
    I really didn't mean this as a put-down.  I just approached it as I
    would if it were me.  I jog when I start to outgrow things so I don't
    continue the upward trend (that's what I meant by the heading).  And
    it's true as you get older it's harder to lose it.  I face this to.  I
    just can't see putting my jewelry away, I like it too much and can't
    afford to replace it.  It just seems the most cost effective and sure
    solution.
    
    Keep up the jogging.  The last time I was at it just as I was getting
    frustrated (at about 6 weeks) a co-worker told me one of the
    instructors at her spa told her it takes at least 8 weeks for it to
    show signs of working.  I kept it up and it did work finally.
    
    Regards.

    AMEN...TO YOU AND TO JOGGING...LOVE IT, IT WORKS OUT MANY THINGS.
    

    I can see the confusion.
    
    Seriously, if you feel you aren't doing anything wrong than don't worry
    about it.  A ring is a ring.  Trust is built on much more and a ring
    doesn't make a relationship.  I think this woman was looking for a
    quick pick-up.  That's her problem.  Can't you go out and do some
    innocent talking to people?  I've known of women who have run into the
    same situation with a guy they talk to while they are out.  Just
    because you talk to someone does that mean you have to be available to
    them?  I don't think so.  Sometimes you can just have an intersting
    conversation and that's it.  Maybe it was the place you chose but I
    wouldn't worry, they can find someone else and you can go home with a
    clear conscience.

    okay, i didn't say this......i overheard it......
    
    Q:	Where is your ring?
    
    A:	In the bedroom, where I need it.
    
    [some background.....a certain person who was recently married has
    been having difficulty keeping it on, it is too large and slips off.
    finally gave up wearing it, at least until it gets downsized.]
    

    
    I've been married three months, and before that my husband had never
    worn any jewellry (only a watch).  He's a printer so he doesn't wear
    his to work, but he wears it if he goes out in the evenings.  I'm quite
    pleased that he chooses to wear it, but I wouldn't kick up a big fuss
    if he didn't.
    
    I wear a wedding and engagement ring all the time.  They're the only
    rings I wear, but I love them!
    
    Sam