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Conference quark::human_relations-v1

Title:	What's all this fuss about 'sax and violins'?
Notice:	Archived V1 - Current conference is QUARK::HUMAN_RELATIONS
Moderator:	ELESYS::JASNIEWSKI

Created:	Fri May 09 1986
Last Modified:	Wed Jun 26 1996
Last Successful Update:	Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:	1327
Total number of notes:	28298

992.0. "Mom on a date? Yes!" by XCUSME::NIEMI () Fri Apr 20 1990 17:13

    
    Hi all,
    
    I hope I can get some help from the HUMAN_RELATIONS community.
    
    This is about my mother.  My father passed away three years ago
    this coming June after a bout with cancer.  My Mom and Dad had
    a very loving relationship and were very close.  They were married
    for just about 35 years.  Mom was 57 at the time of his death.
    
    As normal reaction, my mother could never see herself married or
    even dating anyone else.  This she was very adamant about.  She
    spent alot of time with female friends/couples and most of all, my
    fathers oldest brother, 75 years old (his wife died two months after
    my Dad).  All this was very convenient, and it gave her a chance to
    get out.  She always enjoyed my Uncles company and she felt "safe"
    being with him.
    
    About 6 months ago, she began talking about how she's not over the
    hill (she's 60 now) and was wondering what my sisters and my reaction
    would be if she was to start dating again.  My Uncle has been great
    company for her, but there's a big age difference and he really can't
    keep up with her!  She's very attractive and young looking.  She likes
    to stay active, LOVES to dance, dine out, cross country ski, cook,
    travel, etc.  We think it's great that she is now looking to find
    someone special.  She knows she will never be able to replace Dad,
    but she finally realizes she still has alot of living to do.  She's
    retired, does part-time volunteer work and continues to keep up her
    R.N. status.  The problem is that she doesn't know where to go to
    meet up with people her own age.
    
    Has anyone out there been faced with a similar situation?  Did
    someone try to fix up their parent with a blind date - a friends
    single parent?  Are there any single dances/clubs for people 60 and
    over?  I'd love to support my Mother in this situation and help
    her meet some new and exciting people!
    
    Thanks,
    Sharon

T.R	Title	User	Personal Name	Date	Lines
992.1	THE AARP	MPGS::MCLAUGHLIN		`Fri Apr 20 1990 18:10`	2
	The AARP has terrific progams. My mother has belonged for several years, and has taken a few trips.
992.2	PWP	CLOVE::GODIN	You an' me, we sweat an' strain.	`Fri Apr 20 1990 18:16`	7
	Some of the Parents Without Partners groups are distincly "older" people. She might want to call one of the contacts for the PWP group in her area or attend one of the welcome meetings. Of course, some of these groups are also distincly younger people, so the match might not be there. But it wouldn't hurt to check. Karen
992.3	yes, there are	ORMAZD::REINBOLD		`Sat Apr 21 1990 00:05`	13
	Some churches have singles groups for various age brackets. I have also seen singles groups for over-50's not affiliated with churches. Out here in Colorado the social groups used to be listed in a special section of the Saturday newspaper. Many towns also have a singles newspaper in stands outside supermarkets. They would probably advertise most of the local singles groups. (However, I don't recommend answering the singles ads or placing one.) Actually, the photo club and history club that I attended for a while were both mostly retired people -- they were very fun and friendly, and I enjoyed their company.
992.4		LEZAH::BOBBITT	pools of quiet fire...	`Sun Apr 22 1990 23:08`	4
	I think TSL (The Single Life) has groups for older-type people also. -Jody
992.5		MEMORY::FRECHETTE	Use your imagination...	`Tue Apr 24 1990 15:15`	7
	Two friends of my dad have both remarried. One at 68 the other at 78. They were both 'alone' for about 2 years after their wives died. One met his new wife at a church bean supper (he never went to church before this.) The other met at an American Legion hall where there was a ballroom dancing class. Melanie
992.6	It's never too late...	PARITY::DDAVIS	Long-cool woman in a black dress	`Wed Apr 25 1990 13:17`	7
	re: .5 WOW! That's terrific!! Ya mean there's hope for me yet!!! -Dotti.
992.7		FSTVAX::BEAN	Attila the Hun was a LIBERAL!	`Mon Apr 30 1990 16:53`	17
	My step mother (married to my dad since 1945) is now dating someone she met years ago (before my dad died in '81). She is happier than I've seen her for years. Positively glows. But, she has always be ACTIVE. She travels with several groups, one from M.I.T. and other "elder people's groups" she has connected with. Goes on trips, to symphonies, etc. The groups are out there, many churchs, AARP can point you. It's funny how, when my wife and I asked mom over for supper a few weeks ago, that just before she came, she called my wife and asked how I would feel if she brought her gentleman friend. She was concerned that I might be upset because he isn't "dad". It was hilarious!! It was fun, and gave me such pleasure to see her so full of "happy"! tony
992.8	Some Suggestions	WR1FOR::HOGGE_SK	Dragon Slaying...No Waiting!	`Sun May 20 1990 01:36`	15
	Many of the Recreation Centers out here have special classes for elder folks... e.g. drawing, exercise, dance, photography, cooking, and a lot of other types of activities such as planned shopping trips etc. Also some of the Community Colleges as well... seems that if they have something like that out there she would be able to pick something that interests her and have something to develope a relationship with as well by sharing a common interest. Also... I understand that (don't laugh cause I've done it and enjoyed it) Square Dancing is an excellent place for elder singles to meet, and there are all types involved with it... from professionals such as doctors, lawyers to former shipping clerks such as myself... also most of the single clubs tend to "cater" to various age groups... at least out here in California they do. Skip