Conference quark::human_relations-v1

916.0. "The eulogy and the wake - a short story" by MSD27::RON () Wed Dec 06 1989 15:49

Many notes present a subject for discussion or are a quest for
advice. The following, is just a story. The subject came up when a
friend mentioned to me that Dan Ben-Amotz died some time ago. I
didn't know that.

To make any sense, I have to tell you who Dan was. He was a Public
Personality, with capital Ps. A journalist, talk show host,
humorist, stand up comic, author. He combined elan with a quick wit
(and even quicker tongue) and a sharp style of delivery. 

One of his books had a notice on the front cover: Author's picture
on back. The rear cover carried, indeed, a full length REAR view of
Dan. 

In the mid fifties, there was a very successful radio show called,
for no good reason, 'Three in a Boat'. It revolved around a panel,
which was assigned tasks to be executed in short order, or questions
that had to be answered on the spot. The idea was to be as
outrageous as possible. For instance: "What would we do if we were
made of glass?" One of the answers (I am not sure it was Dan's):
"we'd be doing the same thing, but c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y". Or, "What
would life be like if electricity did not exist?". Answer: "We would
be forced to watch TV by candle light". 

Anyway... In one show, Dan was given the assignment to write a
eulogy. He chose to write one, for himself, and read it out within
minutes, on the spot. Over time, that piece of humour was repeated
over the radio again and again, so many times, it became a
'classic'. It got to the point many people knew most of it by heart
("What will become of your wife? Who will the poor woman support
now?" and "Only yesterday we were playing cards, we were sitting
here and you, there. Look at us now. We are sitting here and you,
**there**"). 

All this leads to the point of the story. Here it is. Late last
year, Dan learned that he was going to die. The doctors gave him so
much to live and no more. 

Most people, when they hear such news, crawl into themselves and
shut the world out. Dan did something different. He arranged for his
own wake, to take place while still alive. He invited all his
friends. He made his peace with all. The occasion, I understand, was
very emotional. Some called it Catharsis. People who have not spoken
to each other in years, fell into each other's arms and made peace
with each other right then and there. I read about the affair in the
paper. It didn't say whether they read Dan's famous self directed
eulogy. 

Then, a couple of nights ago, I met this friend. The conversation
turned to Dan and this friend told me Dan was dead. I didn't know
that. 

-- Ron