| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 904.1 | It would be difficult but not impossible | PENUTS::JLAMOTTE | J & J's Memere | Thu Nov 16 1989 14:29 | 9 |
| Kate and Allie did it...
Seriously, I think that the probability of having this situation work
would require a lot of preparation in outlining expectations and ground
rules initially as well as an ongoing process for resolving conflict.
It could work well and it could be disastrous.
|
| 904.2 | | ULTRA::WITTENBERG | So Many Women, So Little Time. | Thu Nov 16 1989 20:05 | 11 |
| A friend of mine had housemates who had a child (and later had a
child herself while living with housemates.) It worked quite well,
but they had a lot of things going for them. There were two
parents, and everyone made sure that it was clear who the parents
were, but that she had to obey the other adults. It was a very
tightly knit house before the children were born.
The other people in the house were available to babysit, but not
all the time, and it was as a favor and not an obligation.
--David
|
| 904.3 | Get a BIG house... | POGO::REINBOLD | | Thu Nov 16 1989 22:29 | 2 |
| ...so people can have their own space.
|
| 904.4 | Yes, it can work | FRECKL::HUTCHINS | Same monkeys, different trees... | Fri Nov 17 1989 12:41 | 23 |
| A friend, who is a single mother, shared a house with another single
mother. As with *any* living situation, boundaries need to be defined
and different lifestyles need to be adapted. Add to that the needs of
the children, and it's a complex situation.
In this case, my friend ended up babysitting more often than not for
the other child, and found that her roommate "borrowed" clothes for her
child, without asking my friend. There were also problems with
housework, cooking, food, etc.
This arrangement *can* work, but only if:
Boundaries are set
Communication is 2-way
Discipline, when necessary, is consistent
Chores are shared
Babysitting is not assumed
Each child has some play area (they need some space of their
own too, be it a whole room, a toy box, or whatever they know
is "theirs")
Judi
|
| 904.5 | | AKOV11::BHOLLAND | | Fri Nov 17 1989 18:11 | 10 |
| Thanks for the feedback. I can see that if I try for this arrangement,
it's almost necessary to set up some kind of written contract for
house chores, babysitting, etc.
I had many different roommates from college through my 20's into
grad school. Learned lots and somehow was able to manage and enjoy
the different experiences, but involving my child in this type
of sharing is a whole new issue.
Beth
|
| 904.6 | | ACESMK::CHELSEA | Mostly harmless. | Mon Nov 20 1989 21:40 | 10 |
| Re: .4
>Discipline, when necessary, is consistent
I think this is important -- similar philosophies about child-rearing.
My situation is slightly different. My housemate has a dog rather than
a child (in some cases there's not much difference, but that's another
note...). I don't want to undermine the dog's training or confuse her
with different requirements for behavior. On the other hand, she thinks
she's allowed on my couch (guess again, puppy).
|