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Conference quark::human_relations-v1

Title:What's all this fuss about 'sax and violins'?
Notice:Archived V1 - Current conference is QUARK::HUMAN_RELATIONS
Moderator:ELESYS::JASNIEWSKI
Created:Fri May 09 1986
Last Modified:Wed Jun 26 1996
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1327
Total number of notes:28298

880.0. "How can a love one just walk out without a goodbye" by --UnknownUser-- () Mon Oct 23 1989 12:13

T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
DateLines
880.1any possible explanations?WAHOO::LEVESQUEThe trigger doesn't pull the fingerMon Oct 23 1989 13:098
 Is there a possibility that he got last minute orders that prevented him from 
getting touch with you before he left? (I hate to think "that guy is a sh!t,"
so I always try to think of possibilities that would make the unreasonable 
seem reasonable.)

 I hope he's not such a sh!t.

 The Doctah
880.2TOLKIN::GRANQUISTMon Oct 23 1989 14:0110
    I agree with  .1, there's a good possibility that he had to leave
    at the last minute and couldn't contact you. It happened to my son,
    who was stationed at Ft. Ord, and had to go to Honduras. They went
    to work in the morning, and were told to get their stuff together,
    and not to call anyone, or tell anyone where they were headed.
    
    Wait til you know for sure before you condem him, he might have
    a good reason for not letting you know.
    
    Nils
880.3Might have had no choiceCIMBAD::WALTONMon Oct 23 1989 15:428
    As a military wife, I agree that there is a distinct possibility
    that  he thought he was leaving on Monday.  He could have very well
    been told to report ASAP, no calls, no nothing.  Don't be to ready
    to condemn him right yet.  Try to get in touch with him soon. 
    
    Good luck
    
    Sue
880.4You never know.....MARKER::S_WILLIAMSMon Oct 23 1989 17:5717
    This situation has happened to me also.  About 6  months ago, my boyfriend
    was scheduled to go to the field and would be leaving the following week,
    that next monday (at the time).  We agreed that I would call him
    the Wednesday or Thursday before he left (long distance relationship),
    when I called nobody answered.  I tried for two days with no answer.
    I was worried that something happened to him and nobody had called
    to tell me.  Finally on the third day, his roommate informed me that
    he had left the 2 or 3 nights before.  I also felt foolish and
    pretended I had forgotten.  I was furious that he wasn't considerate
    enough to let me know and all kinds of other things.  It turns out
    that it was a last minute decision and he couldn't call.  Since
    than I have learned not to automatically jump to conclusions and
    he has learned to try and inform me of sudden changes as soon as
    possible.  I admit, at the time, some not so pleasant thoughts entered
    my mind.  I've since learned to trust a little more. 
    
    Sandie
880.5SA1794::SEABURYMMon Oct 23 1989 18:1623
        Some people just can't seem to deal with "goodbye" situations.
    Life in the military often seems to be a series of goodbyes to people
    that you have gotten very close to.
        A very close friend of mine in Alaska just sort of disappeared
    when I was getting ready to leave for the airport. We had been together
    through everything you can imagine and then some. I felt pretty hurt
    when this happened.
       I wrote a letter to him asking why he did this. He wrote back
    that he, "Just couldn't face saying goodbye to another friend".
    He told me he had gone out to the at jetty mouth of the harbor,
    sat down and had a good cry for himself.
      Sometimes saying goodbye to someone you love is extremely painful.
    If you have to do it a lot, you begin to dread it. 
      Write or call and find out the what and why of this. Maybe he just
   didn't have another goodbye left in him. It may sound strange, but
   happens. It is not necessarily a case of being mean or not caring.
   It just might be a case of hurting so bad inside that they really
   don't know what to do. 


                                                        Mike
      
880.6SOURCE::KISERI'm not expendable, I'm not stupid, I'm not goingMon Oct 23 1989 22:157
    
    	I agree with .1 &.2 he robably had to go to the field at the
    last minute. I was in the Army for 6 yrs, total and I can remeber
    getting called out of nowhere to go into the field at 3 am. What
    is his MOS if he's in some sort of emergency team he may have had
    to go with no notice and no way to notify you, before going out.
    I hope this has helped.