| :Note 805.0
: I think stability is very important.
i think SOME stability is nice...
but I THINK there MAY BE such a thing as TOO MUCH stability...
TOO MUCH stability COULD make one afraid of change, unable to deal with
it effectively. a person trying real hard to remain stable MIGHT
avoid things/scenes/situations that could have been quite enjoyable
learning experiences...
: There are certain things in
: my life that I would like to remain stable, for a variety of reasons.
there are many things in my life that i'm glad were not stabile!...
i feel i grew from the instability....i got use to change...started
to anticipate the joy of new experiences, new friendships, new loves...
: And there are benefits to stability, things like customs and traditions
: are a result of established families and relationships.
and many of these customs and traditions SEEM, TO ME, to be self limiting.
i'm NOT SURE that there are many customs and traditions derived from
stability that are all that beneficial...
is it beneficial for the women of some tribe to have their
clitoris removed?
is it beneficial for the women of another tribe to add so many
rings to their neck that they actually remove the head from the neck
bone and CAN'T remove the rings for fear of death?
was it beneficial for the son always to, customarily, follow
in his father's footsteps? though he didn't want to?
was it beneficial for women to always be taught how to cook,
sew, clean and be a good wife but NOT how to provide for themselves?
was it beneficial for boys and girls, at birth, to be engaged
by their parents?
: I think it is one of the values we fail to consider in making choices
: and yet there is information that indicates that change produces
: stress.
PERHAPS change produces stress because people are conditioned to avoid change
and follow traditions and customs...?
anyone NOT following traditional customs was devalued, abused, chastised,
kicked out of the tribe.....no?
as people become use to change...it COULD produce less and less stress...
until...finally...a person COLD POSSIBLY meet changes with very little stress!
is that not good?
: Here at DEC we are encouraged to change jobs frequently, and the
: value of an employee that has been in the position for many years
: with lots of expertise is rarely recognized.
perhaps....i dunno....but....PERHAPS the value of a person who can
effectively deal with change and stressful situations IS recognized?
: We move a lot always looking for something better.
that's PROBABLY TRUE for many people. BUT...people COULD decide
to move a lot just because they like to move...no?....
i like changing locales!...meeting new people!...new experiences...
new friends...i'm not looking for something "better"...
just something different....
i met a woman the other day who had lived in a one horse time
all her life!....she didn't know anything about the town next
to hers and she didn't know much about her own town...she couldn't
tell me the name of any of the large hills in her town....
when she went on vacations it was always to the same place....
well...perhaps her stability made her happy but it would have driven
me nuts!
:..and yet I have
: talked to folks who always dream of purchasing that childhood home
: that has been out of the family for years.
well, i don't dream of that home....
and ...I WONDER ....PERHAPS most people dream of that home because
it is ingrained in then at an early age..?
I BELIEVE/THINK/FEEL that parents/society customarily and
traditionally instills in us the desire for...;
marriage, children, home, settling down...
whereupon we grow up desiring what we've been conditioned to desire...?
: Has stability been replaced with a disposable society? I hope not!
i'll accept that a certain amount of stability can be a good thing...
(parent(s), friends, chocolate ice cream)
but TOO MUCH stability MIGHT BE a growth preventitive....?
and...i like disposable societies!....
disposable diapers, food containers, swimsuits, underwear, soldiers...(a joke)
rik....who tried real hard to just express his point of view and even
went out of his way to include what he thought was substance and
did not intend to insult anyone or offend anyone and hopes that
noone feels that a nasty reply is in order...
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| I've wrestled with this one a lot recently. I'm in the middle of making a
major move, uprooting my wife from a job she liked (and she is the top
breadwinner in the family) to allow me to take a job that was much more
desirable for me. Everything is very uncertain right now, and we have had many
discussions about things like stability and security.
I think that I have a lower need for stability, and a higher desire for change,
than my wife does. But I do like having a certain amount of security, which I
think is part of the concept of stability.
Is stability necessary or good? It depends on your needs. Some people thrive
on change, some less so. I generally like change, but the amount of
uncertainty in my life right now has made me realize what my limits of
acceptance are. Some people I know of wouldn't be frazzled in the same
situation. Some people wouldn't have considered making the change.
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Well...we have to define stability don't we?
For me...today...[yesterday it was idfferent, and
tomorrow may find it so also...]...stability is simply
the knowlege that whatever or wherever we are a family.
The rest is window dressing. I have been without
work before and would survive. So has he. We have
been poor and would survive...We have been the *outer
fringe* instead of *yuppie* and would survive.
It is not that stability as I think you define it
is unimportant, but it is TO ME RIGHT NOW....that
i define stability in a very different way.
I expect that will continue to change in my life.
Melinda
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