Conference quark::human_relations-v1

    
    I've often introduced people to each other, or "fixed them up" as
    people tend to call it.
    
    It seems to be a useful way to meet one another, at least for those
    of us willing to do it.  Some people are unwilling to be "fixed up".
    
    I'm quite willing myself to be fixed up.  Even if I don't hit it off
    with the other person, we usually have a good time talking and eating
    together.
    
    Sometimes I ride the subway, and spot a woman I feel attracted to.
    But I'm usually too shy to just say hello.  Perhaps if someone
    were around to fix us up...
    
    /Eric

	 I hate matchmaking when it's obvious.  I wouldn't think twice
	 about introducing two people I thought might be compatible at
	 a happy hour, or a party, though.

	 Being forced into something like matchmaking makes you feel
	 forced is not fun, but introducing two people in a
	 non-threatening environment, with lots of other people
	 around, is not so bad.

	 I would resent someone forcing me (my mom does this all the
	 time, she and her friends think since i'm 23, I NEED a
	 boyfriend) so I won't force someone else.

	 subtly do it, and they won't even realize it...and they are
	 free to pursue it or leave it, without any pressure.

	 kath

Well, I once introduced my dog to a (dog) friend.  That match turned
out great...they are inseparable.  

As a sidelight, I wound up marrying the friend dog's owner.  That match
has turned out pretty great too.

But that's probably not what you're asking, is it?

Deb :-)

    
>    Sometimes I ride the subway, and spot a woman I feel attracted to.
>    But I'm usually too shy to just say hello.  Perhaps if someone
>    were around to fix us up... 

Sometimes I go to the supermarket and spot a woman I feel attracted
to. But I'm usually too married to just say hello. 

Eric, on the rare occasions I do make a remark (I sometimes find
myself coming up with the most outrageous nonsense), I am often
surprised by the eager response. Surprised - because I do not
represent even a remote approximation to Robert Redford. 

I am then reminded that the meek not only inherit the earth, but
often wind up eating it, too. Which is another way of saying you 
already have the someone who is around to fix you up.

-- Ron

        I inadvertantly was a matchmaker when I introduced my then
    girlfriend to my then best friend years ago.  They're married, and
    I'm rather glad now that I didn't marry her myself.  Not that I
    don't like her, she just isn't the type of woman that I'd be happy
    with.
    
        I encouraged a friend of mine at a previous company to start
    dating one of the secretaries.  He took my advice and they were
    married about 2 years later.  He hadn't honestly considered going
    out with her until I suggested it.
    
    ASP

>Well, I once introduced my dog to a (dog) friend.  That match turned
>out great...they are inseparable.  

Deb, have you tried a garden hose? :^)

Pete

>	... I introduced my then girlfriend to my then best friend
>	years ago.


Reminds me of a joke along the same lines.

This guy is saying his wife has just run away with his best friend.
The bystanders are sympathetic: "Poor guy... is your friend that
good looking?" 

"I don't know" says the guy "I never met him".

-- Ron

    Well, I accidentally made a match a few years ago.  I didn't make
    a very auspicious start to their lives together.  I began with an
    introduction, "this is Peter, he's in my transmission lines class.
    This is Angelica.  She's tall." (6'1" to be exact) ....but they 
    took it from there okay....
    
    -Jody
    

Ron, you are being decidedly cryptic.  I didn't get the joke. The closing
of .4 also went right by me...

However, I will point out that you can't set yourself up with someone that
you don't know of...

Jim.

    Yes.  Especially when I was in school, I'd introduce people to each
    other whom I thought had something in common.  So far, I've been
    responsible for 3 marriages and 1 long-term relationship. 
    
    Elizabeth

    WEll, I've played matchmaker twice... once with a couple of friends
    named Bill and Jill, and Jill now has a lovely diamond on her finger,
    and last was 7 months ago with my boss and my girlfriend, and now
    Nancy has an engagement ring on her finger...
    
    2 for 2 isn't bad....
    
    Gale

    After I get to know my friends, of either sex, well, I usually realize
    that none of them are really very well suited to anybody else I
    know.  In fact, I can generally think of tons of reasons why they
    wouldn't be suited.  (He's much too naive & nice for her.... She
    wouldn't touch him with a 10 ft. pole, etc...)
    
    In fact, most people seem so terribly unsuited for most other people,
    I think it must be necessity that keeps us all from being hermits.
    
    I think most people make enough of a mess of their relationships
    without me getting involved and trying to introduce them to someone
    new who will most likely prove to be yet another dissapointing experience.

    Re .1, Lucky you.  I never seem to notice attractive *men* on the
    subway except occasionally, some cute kid about 15 to 20 yrs. younger
    than me, and I certainly know better than to speak to them unless
    I'm looking for a son-in-law.  (Besides I figure if a strange man
    on a subway acted friendly he'd be sure to be a serial killer.)
    
    Lorna
    

My ex-wife and I once attempted to "set up" two good friends.  The first time
they met, knowing we were setting them up, they were uncomfortable, and really
didn't hit it off.  We gave up.  My ex-wife decided to try setting each up with
someone else at a party we gave.  The two other victims didn't end up showing,
so the two friends were relaxed.  Due to coincidental circumstances, both stayed
after the rest of the party had broken up.  They've been together for nearly
two years, and the first anniversary of their wedding is approaching this
summer...

	/dave

    Oh, no. I would never *ever* get involved in matchmaking. If I happen
    to invite two single friends to a party, it's purely coincidence.
    
    	Jon

RE: .12

Thanks for explaining my 'decidedly cryptic' replies. 

As to the joke in .7, Jerry is sharper than me - I never discerned
any implied misogyny in the story. The idea that someone becomes
your best friend just because he ran away with your wife is supposed
to be entertaining. Of course, a lot depends on the wife in
question. Certainly, no reflection on womankind in general is
implied. 

As to .4, it occurred to me that Jim's remark "However, I will point
out that you can't set yourself up with someone that you don't know
of...", indicates he has also missed the point of my "Which is
another way of saying you already have the someone who is around to
fix you up". I meant to suggest one should be bold and start a
conversation with the strange lady, rather than wait for a third
party to conduct a formal introduction. Clearer? 

-- Ron

"I meant to suggest one should be bold and start a conversation with the strange
lady, rather than wait for a third party to conduct a formal introduction.
Clearer? "

Yes, I got that part.  Obviously (neay! neay!) you didn't get my point, which
was that you can't meet people that you don't know of, and don't encounter,
whereas friends might know people that you might like.

Jim. 

    re:.16
    
    I didn't mean to suggest that the implicit misogyny in the joke
    was your doing. I don't think that that's what your thinking,
    but I just wanted to be clear.
    
    I think the implicit misogyny is there because the joke is based
    on the concept of the shrewish wife, which I consider to be an
    essentially misogynist concept (you never hear about shrewish
    husbands, do you?).
    
    I have a slightly strange view of humor in that what I find funny
    or not has got virtually nothing to do with attitudes or opinions
    that underlie the joke. I find some jokes funny that many people
    find (and rightfully so) racist, sexist, or whatever-ist. I consider
    nothing too sacred to be made the butt of humor, as I feel that
    one our greatest gifts is to be able to laugh at our own (generically
    speaking) misfortunes and foibles. My comment about "if one find
    the implicit misogyny funny" was not so much a comment on my opinion
    of the joke, but an observation that some may not find it funny
    for that reason.
    
    But, we're getting way of the subject, aren't we?
    
    --- jerry

    	No - match-making is still alive and well in some quarters.
    
    	A cousin's wife passed away, leaving him with 4 children - his
    mother went abroad to their homeland and brought a woman home for
    him - yes they married, and yes they are still together after slightly
    more than 5 years.
    
    	Guy
    

    I'm all for introductions.  If it works, great!  If not, perhaps
    my friends would at least end up as friends.
    
    Barb

    In this day and age, with all the sh*t going on with transmitted diseases
    and such....how else do you meet "a nice guy?" (or girl)...thankfully,
    I'm dating a man that I was set up with 8 months ago..my friends
    thought we were both suited for each other....after all...who knows
    you better than your friends.
    
    Jill
    

<    In this day and age, with all the sh*t going on with transmitted diseases
<    and such....how else do you meet "a nice guy?" (or girl)...thankfully,

      Unfortunately nice guys and gals can transmit STDs as well as
      anyone else. It's best to play safe no matter how you meet
      someone. liesl

RE: .22


>	Unfortunately nice guys and gals can transmit STDs as well
>	as anyone else.

Actually, no. Once they have transmitted such a disease, they are no 
longer --by definition-- nice guys or gals...

All kidding aside, I fully agree (can't think of anyone in his right 
mind who won't) with:

>	It's best to play safe no matter how you meet someone.

-- Ron