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Conference quark::human_relations-v1

Title:What's all this fuss about 'sax and violins'?
Notice:Archived V1 - Current conference is QUARK::HUMAN_RELATIONS
Moderator:ELESYS::JASNIEWSKI
Created:Fri May 09 1986
Last Modified:Wed Jun 26 1996
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1327
Total number of notes:28298

687.0. "operation outreach" by FDCV10::BOTTIGLIO (GUY E. BOTTIGLIO) Thu Feb 16 1989 19:03

    Hello all ...
    
    	My therapist has urged me to reach out to people, a frightening
    task indeed ... but electronic communication offers a margin of
    safety.
    
    	Last year, at the ag eof 50, I learned that I was in a state
    of severe depression since the age of 4, totally shut off feelings,
    no connectedness with others or even myself.
    
    	Right now, I'm relying on medication, therapy, and participation
    in Emotions Anonymous for help. Despite my age, I am emotionally
    very inexperienced.
    
    	Replies most welcome.
    
    
    					Thanx
    
    					Guy B.
    
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687.1HANNAH::MODICAThu Feb 16 1989 19:468
    
    I've made a lot of friends noting; it's made participation
    in different conferences worthwhile. 
    
    So, welcome. I'll look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions
    on topics that interest you. 
    
    							Hank
687.2Right place, right time.KYOA::HANSONGuns don't kill-NJ insurance doesThu Feb 16 1989 20:2815
    
    And a hearty welcome t'ya, Guy!
    
    You've come to the right place, to be sure.  In the two-some-odd
    years that I've been perusing this conference, I've seen a lot of
    people dropping in... some to talk, some only to listen, others
    to exchange, and indeed some who feel reassured knowing that the
    Enet provides that wonderful "margin of safety" to which you referred.
    
    I've also seen a lot of help going on here.  Luckily (and I couldn't
    be more grateful...) some of it has come my way.  It works.
    
    We'll be looking forward to your thoughts and comments.
    
    Bob_H
687.3MCIS2::AKINSI C your Schwartz is as big as mine!Fri Feb 17 1989 01:466
    Hi Guy,
    
    	Welcome to EMOTIONS-R-US.   After all what is Human Relations
    all about....Emotions.  I'm sure you'll make lots of friends...
    
    Bill
687.4SSDEVO::CHAMPIONSki Bum In TrainingFri Feb 17 1989 04:2511
    Welcome to the world!
    
    		Ask, and you'll definitely receive!
    
    			This is a great place to feel, and to share!
    
    
    				:-)
    
    					Carol
    
687.5Another hearty welcome!NYEM1::COHENaka JayCee...I LOVE the METS & #8!Fri Feb 17 1989 11:2110
    Guy,
    
    Congrats for taking the first step...that's the hardest part, and
    now it's done.  Welcome to the one place in Digital that I always
    seem to feel safe....I guess that means that in here there are no
    judgements (well...), no rights and wrongs...only your feelings
    and thoughts.  Good luck...you're already half way there!
    
    JayCee
    
687.7Start with small victoriesPRYDE::HUTCHINSKnowledge breeds enthusiasmFri Feb 17 1989 15:3331
    Guy,
    
    Welcome to the conference and congratulations on taking responsibility
    for yourself.
    
    Depression is tough to overcome...especially when coupled with grey
    winter weather...many times brought about by stress or frustration
    (i.e., knowing that _something_ isn't right, but not being able
    to put your finger on it).
    
    You've taken an important first step by entering your note in the
    file.  Take it a step further and set up "little victories" for
    yourself in interacting with people.  (This may sound silly, but
    it works.)  Every day we see people, but rarely do we take the time
    to know their name -- bank tellers, the checkout person at the super-
    market, the janitor, the mailman, etc.  Next time you see such a
    person, introduce yourself and ask them their name.  By doing do,
    you are acknowledging that individual as a person (rather than an
    anonymous being), and you're also reaching out.  No, you don't have
    to launch into a diatribe, just to say that you notice them.  (I
    tried this with a bank teller I do business with regularly, and
    noticed that the next time I went to her window, the level of service
    had greatly improved.  And all I did was acknowledge that she was
    an individual, rather than "the teller at window #4".)
    
    There is much work ahead of you, Guy, but the important thing is
    that you have started.
    
    Congratulations,
    Judi
    
687.8...and you're off!!!WNPV01::GROSJEANCome to the edge.Fri Feb 17 1989 15:5510
    Hi Guy,
    
    Glad you took the advice and reached out -- Notes was an excellent
    choice for a starting point.  I'm looking forward to hearing more
    from you.
    
    Welcome,
    
    Gwen
    
687.9This is our world--welcome to it!HAMSTR::IRLBACHERAnother I is beginning...Fri Feb 17 1989 16:0514
    Hello, Guy.
    
    You certainly have come to the right place to help yourself
    out of your depression!  This notes conference has everything:
    some things sad, some things glad, some things Good God! did
    they really *mean* that?, some things that will be hilarious
    to you long after you sign off.  If you can hold out putting
    your 2c in for very long, you certainly will be made of strong
    stuff.
    
    So let us hear from you often.  Friends are for talking to even
    when you don't see them face to face.  
    
    Marilyn
687.10Keep coming...SSGBPM::KENAHThis rough magic...Sat Feb 18 1989 15:2714
    Welcome....
    
    Besides EA meetings, you might think about other 12-Step group
    meetings... why?  Because what gets talked about isn't the
    problem (Alcohol, drugs, food, debt, etc.) what gets talked
    about is (are?) feelings.  You're not alone in your sense of
    emotional inexperience.  Most folks in recovery programs have the
    same feeling. You're not alone -- you need never be alone again.
    
    					andrew
    
    
    
    
687.11Thanks FDCV10::BOTTIGLIOGUY E. BOTTIGLIOMon Feb 20 1989 12:1410
    HANK -
    
    	Thanks for the response to my introduction, I appreciate it.
    
    	I will share more through Notes, as time permits.
    
    		Again, Thanx
    
    				Guy B.
    
687.12THANKS FROM A NEWCOMERFDCV10::BOTTIGLIOGUY E. BOTTIGLIOMon Feb 20 1989 13:5318
    I introduced myself to Notes last week, and reached out to estbalish
    some Human contact.
    
    The response exceded my expectations- so many "Real" people out
    there. I will, as time permits, acknowledge each reply by Mail,
    in the interim - a Sincere thanks.
    
    In the process of dealing with my newly discovered Depression, I
    have had many learning experiences, and I do hope to contribute
    some helpful info., as I go along.
    
    Again - THANKS for the warm, cordial welcome to the conference.
    
    
    
    				Guy B.
    
    
687.13DPDMAI::MATTSONFri Feb 24 1989 20:099
    I've been looking around in here for a while, now, and it seems
    to me that a lot of arguing goes on in here.  Another notes file
    hat I enjoy also, is LESLIE::FRIENDS.  In my opinion(*), it is a
    lot friendlier and more casual than this file.  So, Guy, you might
    want to check out the Friends file.  I'v been corresponding with
    a couple of noters, off-line, that I met thru there and its been
    fun.  
    
    If this ticks off anyone in here, sorry, just my opinion.
687.14to dpdmai::mattson - thanksFDCV10::BOTTIGLIOGUY E. BOTTIGLIOMon Feb 27 1989 12:0515
    DEAR DPDMAI::MATTSON
    
    	Thank you for the advice, I will check it out. I am too nerw
 to the conference to judge, but thus far all replies to my original
    note have been very supportive and friendly. Haven't been exposed
    to much arguing, but I'll take your word that there is.
    
    	Arguments don't always have to be negative - an intelligent
    argument can shed light where there is darknes.
    
    	Anyhow ... Thank you, and best wishes ...
    
    					Guy B.
    
    
687.152 Months now ...FDCV10::BOTTIGLIOSome Teardrops Never DryFri Apr 14 1989 13:2321
    	It will be 2 months on Sunday, 4/16, since I turned to this
    conference in an attempt to reach out to others, and I'm pleased
    to report that the response has exceded my fondest expectation.
    
    	I have received so many very supportive, caring, sensitive
    responses from Noters, "Met" so many really sincere people, and
    I must register a hearty THANK YOU to all.
    
    	I have learned much from the conference, had opportunities to
    make modest contributions, and have experienced so many positives
    that I never expected.
    
    	As I continue to grow and learn, I hope my contributions to
    the conference will, in some way, help others.
    
    	So Again, THANK YOU !!!
    
    
    	Guy B.
    
    
687.16HANNAH::MODICAFri Apr 14 1989 16:357
    
    Well Guy, nothing personal here, :-) but I think your
    contributions to HR have been some of the most valuable
    I've ever read. Keep writing!
    
    
    							Hank